by Lexi Blake
Drew sat up straight. Maybe he wasn’t done with the adrenaline high tonight. “He’s in the same house with Shelby and our family? With your wife?”
He didn’t miss the way Riley’s eyes rolled. “Ellie stayed up late to make sure he got in okay. I’m sure we’re going to walk in to some people waiting up for us, too.”
“Do you understand what he did?” Perhaps Riley didn’t get the scope of the crime. “You can’t expect me to continue to work with him.”
“I understand that he screwed up. I also understand that Dad was having an affair, too. They were human. They were dumb and screwed up, and Hatch loves us. He’s kept this secret for years because he loves us.”
“He kept the secret because I would have killed him.”
“Drew, you were a rail-thin teenager when he met you. You weren’t a physical threat to him. And he’s sacrificed for us. I know you’re angry, but you’re more angry at yourself because there’s no one in the world who’s harder on Drew Lawless than you.”
“I’m angry that he lied to me, and don’t psychoanalyze me,” Drew practically snarled. “I’m willing to talk about how to keep our stock from free-falling until such a time as I can eviscerate every single one of our mother’s claims, but I will not have anything to do with that man outside of business. I’m the one who brought him in. I’m the fucking idiot who gave him a percentage of our company, and now I have to deal with it.”
“Thus, my point is made.” Riley sat back with a sigh. “God, it’s a circus and it’s three in the morning. What’s it going to look like at noon?”
It would look like a bloodbath, and that was exactly what his mother wanted. How would this affect Shelby? There was nothing he could do about the rest of them. They were his blood, and this would taint them one way or another, but Shelby could get out. Shelby could walk away.
Would his mother leave her be? Or would Shelby be alone out in the world without any protection and a massive target on her back?
He’d screwed her in every way possible. If she stayed with him, she’d get smeared in the tabloids for being close to him. If he let her walk away, she could get hurt physically.
He turned away even though he knew the photographers and reporters couldn’t see through the tinted windows.
He hated press. He hated anyone looking into his life. It should be his and his alone, but they would tear it apart now and judge him for everything he’d ever done or said.
It was a good revenge.
“Why do you think she hates us?” Riley asked as the car made it through the throng at the gates.
The lights died down as the limo moved up the drive toward the house.
“I don’t know.” He wished he had the answer because it pounded through his head. “I don’t know that she hates us at all. I don’t know that she’s capable of feeling much.” Drew watched the trees go by. He’d bought this place because it seemed like its own little kingdom, apart and away from the world below.
He was going to be so lonely if she left him. Every kingdom needed a queen.
“What are we going to do about Noah?” Riley asked.
That was a good question. “I have no idea. I should shove him out and back into Mommy Dearest’s arms. She wants him so much, she can have him.” Then he thought about what Shelby would think, how Shelby would think. She would tell him Noah was his brother. She would point out the fact that if Iris had been willing to sacrifice them, she would hurt Noah if she needed to. “But I can’t do that. He’s our brother. If he wants to go join her . . . I can’t believe I’m going to say this . . . I’m going to try to talk him out of it.”
“I don’t think it would be a good idea to send him to her. I think she would use it to her advantage, but I also don’t think we can ask him to come out against her. He’s just figured out his mother is a psychopath.”
“So have we.”
“We’re older and we’re used to having each other to hold on to,” Riley reasoned. “He’s got to get used to not being alone. Have you thought about the fact that he might be working with her?”
“Of course. I think it’s likely that he is.” In one way or another. Noah might not even know what he was doing, but Drew was fairly certain Iris was using him.
“I’m worried about it. What are you going to do if he is?”
He was right back to tired. “I don’t know. Probably whatever Shelby tells me to do. God, when did I get to be this guy?”
Riley’s chuckle reverberated through the car. “You mean the guy who’s madly in love with a woman?”
“I started out thinking of nothing but revenge, and now all I can do is worry about whether or not I’m going to lose Shelby. I would even forgive that little shit for not understanding how awful his mother is if it meant Shelby would forgive me. And I have to wonder if that kind of thinking is going to bring us all down.”
Riley leaned over. “No, it’s not going to bring us all down. If you love this woman, you can’t let her go. We’re going to get through this.”
The limo pulled up to the house.
Drew wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure of anything except the fact that Iris was coming, and he needed to figure out exactly what she wanted.
The door opened and Drew stepped out, forcing his legs to move. He felt like a zombie, walking along but not really seeing anything, alive but not feeling.
He knew Riley was behind him, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be alone.
He wanted to be with her.
He would go and find her and take her hand. He would lead her back to the bedroom and pull her into his arms and forget about everything else for the rest of the night. He would beg if he had to. He would try to convince her that if they only had a week left, they should spend it wrapped up in each other because neither would ever find another lover like this.
He would find the words to turn this around.
He walked toward the back. It was more private. The front entrance could probably be seen with a telephoto lens, but the back of the house was completely closed off. Too many trees. Too much Hill Country to deal with.
The pool area was illuminated in a deep blue, the lights casting shadows all around. It was enough light to see that he and Riley weren’t out here alone. Noah sat on one of the lounge chairs, his stare turned to the water. There was a slump to his shoulders that let Drew know he wasn’t the only one who was miserable tonight.
“I think I’m going to go talk to him,” Riley said.
“No, go on. Let them know I’m home and everyone can go to sleep. This is my job.”
Riley nodded and moved toward the door, leaving him alone with Noah. His youngest brother.
Was he also the brother who was betraying them all? Either way, Drew had to deal with him.
Drew sat down on the lounger next to him. “I’ve always found it peaceful out here. It’s why I like to leave the lights on. Sometimes I come out here late at night and I stare at the water and it helps me think.”
Noah kept his eyes on the pool. “I don’t want to think.”
“Yeah, it can help me do that, too.” A silence sat between them. He wasn’t good at this. He never had to drag anything out of Riley. Riley liked to talk. He was practically Oprah when it came to talking about his feelings. Bran would have just required a beer and some manly silence. He wasn’t sure what the hell to do with Noah. “You okay?”
Stupid question.
“Sure.” Noah didn’t look up. “It’s all cool.”
Yep, this was where it would be nice to be with Bran. Hand him a beer, put on a baseball game, and they would be good.
Of course, Bran had nearly killed a few people and was now in treatment for anger issues. So maybe that hadn’t worked so great.
“It’s not cool. It’s awful to figure out that the person you looked up to is . . . I was about to say only human, a
nd that does work when it comes to Dad. When I first found out he’d been having an affair, I got angry with him. I was only fourteen when he died. In my mind, he was frozen forever as the perfect parent, and everything would have been fine in my life if he hadn’t died. I think that happens to a lot of kids who lose their parents. You forget about how he forced you to eat peas and only remember how he never failed to make time for you.”
“He never told you he was working and to go play by yourself? Because I got that a lot from my . . . from her.”
“No.” It was good to think about his father with some fondness. “He would stop everything if one of us came into the room. Dad worked hard, but he would put it aside to play touch football with us or to have a tea party with Mia. We were all expected to come to those, by the way. There were boas and gloves and everything. Dad would say if our masculinity couldn’t handle a couple of tiaras to please our little sister, then we didn’t deserve to call ourselves men at all.”
For the first time, Noah looked up, his lips curling faintly. “You played tea party with Mia?”
“Sure. She was my sister.” His father had been the one to teach him that family mattered. “He would have loved you, Noah.”
“How could she have lied to me like that?” Noah asked, his voice a tortured growl. “She called me earlier. I don’t even know how she got my phone number.”
That hadn’t taken long. He was sure it was one more play in her game plan. “What did she have to say?”
Noah was silent.
Noah didn’t know the case the way the rest of them did. He might have listened to her interview and been confused. It was odd how much that thought hurt. He shouldn’t give a shit. “Noah, if you’re worried I’m going to hurt you, then let me set you up at a hotel or someplace where you’ll feel safe. I don’t think you should go back to her.”
Noah’s head swiveled, his eyes coming up to take Drew in. “I don’t know what to think. She says you’re the one trying to hurt me, but you could have done that so much easier than hiring someone to hit me with a car. And I don’t know why you would need me gone. All you had to do was tell me to go away and I would have.”
“I’m sure she would say I did it for the press.”
“But you hate the press. You always curse when you mention them and then you spit a little.”
Not a pleasant thought. “I’ll try to control that. No, I don’t particularly like the press. They can bend a story any way they like, and they often don’t care about the truth. I’m the least likely person to think I can manipulate the press.” He certainly hadn’t done a good job of it with Shelby, though somehow he couldn’t put her in the same category with the bottom-feeders currently circling his property. Shelby wouldn’t report on anything without confirmation, and she wouldn’t sensationalize. She was like Mia, always looking for a story that could help people, not a way to turn someone’s pain into cash.
“I don’t understand any of this,” Noah said, turning back to the water. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Think it over tonight. I promise not to murder you in your sleep.”
Noah snorted. “You have a terrible sense of humor.”
Wasn’t the first time he’d heard those words. “So I’ve been told. Know that if you decide to stay, you’re welcome. But I have to ask a few questions. Did you tell anyone about Shelby heading into Dallas today? I’ve been trying to figure out how she would have found out Shelby was going to be there.”
Even in the low light, he could see the way Noah flushed. “Sorry. I was texting back and forth with a friend. And I mentioned on my page that everyone was heading into Dallas, but I was staying here. I suppose she was the one who sent me here.”
“Probably.”
Noah’s legs came up, knees bending so he could wrap his arms around them. “Did you find anything on my system? I’ll give you the new one. And my phone since it looks like she’s already invaded there.”
“Good. I think that will make us all feel better.”
Noah was silent for a moment. “I don’t think you should be mad at Shelby.”
“I’m not. Not anymore.” Before Shelby, he would have taken the kid’s computer without asking, and there wouldn’t have been anyone to stop him. He would have found out what he wanted to and that would have been that. Shelby had done that to him. Shelby made him . . .
He needed to fucking stop that. God, what the hell was he doing? He was blaming Shelby and turning it around in his head. He constantly thought about how she made him crazy, but she didn’t do that. He did it to himself. She was the one who calmed him, when he allowed her to do so. She was the one who tried to make him a better person, because if they were ever going to have any kind of a shot at this, he had to be better than he’d been before.
He’d done everything she’d accused him of and more. He’d blamed her, pushed her, turned everything they were into a transaction because he didn’t trust her. She was the freaking reason he was sitting out here with Noah when all he wanted was to pull in on himself and shut out the rest of the world.
But to be with her, he had to be worthy, and to be worthy, he had to give a shit about people he didn’t want to.
The trouble was, it was getting easier and easier to care about Noah. It was easier to see how he fit with the rest of them. How he’d been lost the same way they had. They had more in common than they didn’t.
Noah sat back, relaxing for the first time. “I would rather stay here for now. I don’t know what to think, but I know she lied to me.”
“She lied to all of us.”
Noah turned, looking at him again. “I know you think I had it easy.”
“I’m turning around on that.”
“Good, because I didn’t. I’m so fucking envious of Riley and Bran and Mia.”
“Don’t be. It was hard. You have no idea what foster care was like. It was never-ending quicksand, and just as we figured out how to navigate it, the surface changed and we went under again. It was terrible.”
“I get that, but I would have gone through it all because I would have had the one thing I didn’t get while I was growing up. I’m jealous of them because through it all, they had you. They got you. They knew. No matter how bad it got, they knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That you would come for them. That you would save them.”
His heart actually ached. Yeah, that was Shelby’s fault, too, but he didn’t curse her for it. Now he could see how much strength it gave him. Perhaps this war wouldn’t be won with revenge. Perhaps it would be won with something else. Drew dropped to one knee in front of his youngest brother. “Noah, understand this. You’re my brother and I will do everything I can to save you. Do you understand me?”
Noah had tears in his eyes as he nodded. It was easy to see he wanted to believe but simply couldn’t yet. Drew could understand that. He had to pray that the hope he’d tried to give Noah tonight, that the family he could offer his brother, was enough to break any familial connection Noah felt to their mother.
He patted his brother on the back. “Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow’s another rough day, but we’ll get through.”
He stood up and realized they weren’t alone.
Shelby stood by the pool house wearing a tank top, pajama bottoms, and no shoes. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she’d taken off her makeup. He’d never seen her looking more beautiful.
She walked over to them, her bare feet padding against the concrete. “Are you okay, Noah? If you want, the rest of the family is sitting up and talking. I think Mia’s making some hot chocolate.”
Noah’s lips turned up. “Okay. That might be nice.”
So she’d come out here to get Noah. He expected her to turn and walk away when Noah scampered inside.
Maybe he would sit by the pool for a while and enjoy the silence while he tried to f
igure out what to do about her.
Her hand slipped into his, her fingers tangling theirs together. “I think you should come to bed with me. You’ve had a long day, Mr. Lawless.”
He hesitated. He’d been so stupid earlier, and he couldn’t go through with it. He couldn’t force her into bed with him. “Shelby, I’m sorry about the thing from before. I’m sorry I tried to blackmail you into sleeping with me. I was afraid of losing you, and I’m not good at the relationship stuff.”
“Not from what I saw out here tonight.” She moved close to him, so close their bodies brushed together. “From where I was standing, you did pretty good. So come to bed with me. I don’t know what’s going to happen between us. I still think I should leave, but I know I can’t right now, and I don’t want to pretend that I don’t want you.”
“I want you more than my next breath.” He needed her. Somewhere along the way she’d become necessary to his life, to his happiness.
“Then come to bed and we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
This time when she began to lead him toward the house, he followed.
Chapter Sixteen
Shelby led him past the living room where the whole family was gathered, but she didn’t stop. Maybe it was selfish of her, but she wasn’t sure how much time they had left, and she wanted him to herself.
He followed after her, not even trying to stop and talk to his brothers. When they reached the bedroom, he closed and locked the door behind them.
“I’m sorry, Shelby.”
He was sorry for trying to blackmail her? Or sorry that this couldn’t work? Either way, she understood. Drew didn’t understand any relationship that he didn’t control, and she couldn’t be one more person he controlled. “I know. I am, too. Are you all right? Were the feds okay with you?”
“They were nosy bastards, but they asked questions I could easily answer. I don’t think they’ll be here in the morning to arrest me.” He slipped out of his jacket and stepped into the closet to hang it up. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave.”