The boy I’d spent my childhood with had hardened into a man. There was no mischievous smile or dare in his eyes like all those times we’d played games together in this very house.
Nicoli had put on pounds of muscle and his boyish features had toughened to a steely jaw and iron eyes. I could have sworn his hair was darker than before, swept back stylishly and enhancing the cut of his cheekbones.
He had been well and truly moulded into my father’s prodigy. A man able to do what I wasn’t allowed to and inherit the Calabresi empire.
His mouth hooked up at one corner as he took in my outfit. The leggings and sweater I wore were overly casual, perfect for a plane journey and completely normal for someone my age to wear. But Papa’s brows knitted together and I swear a tut passed his lips.
“Come hug your old papa,” my father asked and I hurried forward to embrace him, the familiar smell of mint and tobacco washing over me. He placed two kisses on my cheeks then turned me around in his arms to face Nicoli.
“You remember Nicoli?” Papa asked.
“Of course,” I said, fighting an eyeroll. How could I forget the guy you adopted and groomed to be your heir?
“It’s good to see you again, Sloan. How was Italy?” Nicoli asked and Papa prodded me toward him.
“Amazing. I’d live there if I could,” I said lightly, trying to ignore the way Nicoli’s eyes scraped over every inch of me. Or the way my heart reacted to that, pounding wildly in my chest. Handsome didn’t even begin to describe what he was. The skinny boy who’d wrapped me in his arms the day my mother had died had transformed entirely; he’d been my knight in shining armour in the worst moment of my life, and now he had the features to match.
“Nonsense,” Papa tsked. “Then you would miss the great life I’ve organised for you here.”
“What life?” I asked a little sharply.
“Perhaps Nicoli can explain,” Papa said, his tone soft but somehow setting me on edge.
I looked to Nicoli and my heart cracked and splintered as he dropped down onto one knee and produced a ring in a velvet box. The rock was so big it caught the light and half blinded me.
Panic seized me as I stared at my fate. Because the worst had happened. Papa had sold me. This wasn’t a request. It was a demand. A life sentence.
No.
Hell no.
“Marry me, Sloan Calabresi. I’ll make you happier than you can imagine,” Nicoli promised and something in his gaze said maybe he really could offer me that. But I didn’t want to be chained to a man I didn’t choose for myself. I’d known Mamma’s marriage was arranged with Papa and it certainly wasn’t a happy one. I’d hoped that fate wouldn’t ever be forced on me, that I’d be left to my own devices. But now I realised how foolish a dream that had been.
“Papa, please, can we talk?” I begged of him, my voice choked as the world seemed to tilt and fall.
Just moments ago I was swearing never to be a prisoner again, now a ring that looked like a collar was staring me right in the eye.
Nicoli glanced at Papa with a hint of confusion and a manic laugh escaped me. Because he didn’t know. He thought this was already arranged. He thought I knew. But of course Papa had never told me. He never cared what I thought about anything.
“Of course, amore mio,” Papa crooned, but it was all an act. “As soon as you’ve given Nicoli his answer. It’s not right to keep a gentleman on his knees.”
“But Papa-” I started and his arm clamped around my wrist. Too tight.
He’d never struck me, but I’d seen him hit Mamma once. His grip was bruising and the threat in his eyes was clear. But my one advantage was that he would try to save face with Nicoli, so I tugged away from him and he had to let me go.
I stormed from the room, heading upstairs to my old bedroom, flinging the stark white door open and entering the princess pink room which didn’t feel like mine at all. Coco came running down the hall into the room and dove onto my bed, looking to me with his tail wagging.
I pulled my cellphone from my purse, bringing up Royce’s number as my heart thumped unevenly in my chest. He was the only person in America who I trusted, but what would I say? Now that we were back home, my father was his boss, not me. But he felt like more than just some employee to me. He was the guy who played card games with me while he was guarding me, who had taught me to shoot hoops at basketball, who had wiped my snotty nose as a kid. He’d been more of a father to me than my papa ever had. And he’d come if I called. I was sure of it.
Papa marched through the door and Coco started yapping furiously in an attempt to warn him off. He kicked the door shut and my blood turned to ice.
“Give it to me,” he demanded, striding forward with his hand outheld for my phone. But this wasn’t just a phone, it was my life, my connection to the outside world. Giving it up meant losing contact with my friends in Italy, the people who’d been there for me through the years, who’d laughed with me and spent hours in my company.
I turned away but Papa caught my arm and wrestled it from my grip.
“Wait a second-” My words died as he popped the SIM card out. “No!” I yelled, clawing at him to get it. Panic coiled through me and I fought harder, desperate for him not to take this from me.
He held me back with one hand and crushed it in his other palm with a vicious crack. “No more of this, Sloan. What has gotten into you?”
He dropped the two pieces of the SIM on the carpet before pocketing the phone. Those two pieces mirrored my heart.
“You dare to leave Nicoli on the floor of my home, offering you the world?” He grabbed me by the shoulders and Coco snarled furiously, jumping off the bed and gnawing on his trouser leg in a desperate bid to save me.
Royce had been training me in self defence in secret for the past four years, but I wouldn’t dare lay a hand on my father. Even if I could break his hold on me physically, I couldn’t do anything about the hold he had on me mentally.
“I won’t marry him,” I hissed and Papa’s eyes turned to a deadly dark shade. He clutched me tighter, his fingers bruising my arms as he shook me. “Without Nicoli, this family has no future. I’ve been preparing him to follow in my footsteps for fourteen years! You know I need a man I can trust to inherit my title when I die. Your husband can’t just be anyone, it has to be the right man. It has to be him.”
“But-”
“But nothing!” he snapped. “Without this marriage to secure heirs for our family, the Romeros will take over the city. Is that what you want? Those filthy fucks who left you half dead in that car to take everything from us?”
Horror swam through my veins and I shook my head frantically as the memory of that day seeped over me. Of Rocco Romero pinning me down, his rough hands tightening around my neck.
I’d woken in hospital wondering why I was alive. It still haunted me to this day. He was my nightmare. My one true fear. And I hadn’t ever overcome it.
“No Papa,” I said, realising tears were streaming down my cheeks.
“Then you will be grateful for the life Nicoli is offering you. He is a fine man and will treat you with respect. You will want for nothing, what more can a father give his daughter than that?”
A choice.
I stared at him mutely, unable to believe the chains had tightened around me so quickly. And they were more unbreakable than ever before.
I could see my life stretching out before me. Becoming the wife of the man my father had built in his image. Bearing him children. Being expected to cage those children in this life too. And the cycle would never end. The Calabresi women would be eternally bound, eternally caged.
My breathing grew rapid and Papa caught my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I need you, Sloan. You’re a good girl. Now be what the family needs you to be. We all have a role to play, this is yours.”
Coco stopped tugging on his leg, the fight going out of him the same time it did me. Papa released me and I sank down onto the edge of the bed while my little pup jumped
into my lap and licked my hands.
“The wedding is in a month. It’s already organised. You need do nothing but look pretty on the day.” Papa closed the door and it felt like his fist was tightening around my heart.
It was already organised. I was just a pawn on a chessboard being pushed into place.
I stared down at the broken SIM card, wondering if I’d ever be able to contact my friends again. I still didn’t have social media and if I ever got another phone, I wouldn’t be allowed it. Coco nuzzled into me as my tears dripped onto his silken white fur.
I hated that I could feel myself giving in. Because there was no war to fight. Papa had already occupied my world and forced me to surrender.
I thought of running away but where would I go? How would I get out of a city full of Calabresis and Romeros?
A gentle knock came at the door and I scrubbed the tears away from under my eyes.
“Come in,” I called, expecting a servant with tea, but finding Nicoli stepping into my room, his broad shoulders nearly as wide as the door.
He took in my miserable appearance with a frown. “That wasn’t quite the way I wanted things to go.”
“Sorry for wounding your pride,” I said hollowly. “But I didn’t expect to be sold like chattel the moment I arrived home.”
Nicoli sighed, stepping closer and Coco growled low in his throat.
“I would never buy you,” he said earnestly. “But I’m not a fool. I’m aware this is a transaction of sorts. Your father wants me to take his place one day and frankly, Sloan, you are better off in my company than whoever else your father might push you toward.”
My throat thickened as I stared at him. “So you’re not getting anything out of this?” I asked dryly. Apart from an empire that should have been mine.
“I didn’t say that. I have admired you for my entire life. You’re beautiful, passionate, and your heart is so big you could fit the whole world inside it with room to spare.”
I frowned, taken aback by the sweetness of his words.
He stepped closer, glancing at the door, knowing he shouldn’t really be alone with me. Father would die before he let any man lay a hand on his daughter. But I’d defied that rule in Italy already and a part of me wanted to defy it again now.
“We both know this world,” Nicoli said gently. “We’ve shared it together. Don’t you think we could make this work?”
I looked up at him as he halted before me, so close I could smell his subtle cologne and the general scent of power rolling from him in waves. But beneath it all, I detected the outdoorsy smell of that boy I used to know. The one I’d played with and adored.
He took my hand, guiding me to my feet and my heart stuttered as I stared into his familiar eyes. I didn’t want to look anywhere else than there, trying to capture that piece of him I knew so well. But I couldn’t hold onto it for long.
“You’re not the boy I once knew,” I breathed and his brows knitted together.
He dipped his head, threading his fingers between mine and awakening a reckless part of me. We were going against my father. He brazenly touched me with the door wide open and it felt so intoxicating that I wanted to give myself to that feeling entirely.
“I’m still here,” he promised, his head lowering and his gaze burned with desire as his metallic eyes fixed on my mouth.
A kiss with him would feel like a sin. But we were in Sinners Bay after all…
I tip-toed up, hoping for the kind of spark which could make this better, a hint of passion in our future. This man before me was going to be my husband, there wasn’t any way out of it and I’d loved him once as a boy, so maybe I could do so as a man.
Our lips brushed and the thrill of his boldness spurred me on, my mouth parting for his tongue. He suppressed a groan, his arm looping around me and dragging me against his firm chest. His heart thumped furiously against my flesh and some part of me started to hope there really was a chance for us.
Coco yapped angrily and I finally pulled away, feeling hot all over.
“I can’t imagine a more fitting bride for me, Sloan,” Nicoli said in a gravelly tone. “We are made for each other and I vow to keep you safe. Always.”
I frowned as he moved away across the room. I didn’t want to be safe. Safe was another word for confined.
He placed the ring box down on my nightstand before heading back to the door.
“I’m staying for dinner,” he said. “If you’d like to get reacquainted tonight, I’ll be waiting for you. Either way, we will be married by the end of the month, Sloan. So let’s try and make it work.”
My mind whirled as I sank down onto my bed, staring after him with an ache in my soul. Nicoli may not have chosen me, but it was clear he wanted me. And maybe the universe would be kind. Maybe he would be enough. But the reckless girl he’d awoken in me was still wide awake. And I wasn’t sure yet if he was ever going to be enough for her.
Forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin.
The church confessional was cramped and dark, the scent of polished wood and incense wrapping around me until my head was full of it.
I rolled my shoulders back, trying to alleviate the ache in them from a night hidden in the tiny space. I watched the congregation file into the huge church through the small, cross-shaped holes carved into the door of my hiding place.
The Calabresis were loud and brash, their arrogance shining through beneath their designer clothes and overly quaffed hair. The women crowed at each other, complimenting bright dresses and layers of makeup while internally sneering and trying to score points with exclusive purses and one-of-a-kind shoes. The men spoke in voices that boomed off of the vaulted ceiling as they puffed their chests up like peacocks in their expensive suits.
I didn’t spot any weapons. No one came to church armed. Not even me – Mamma never would have forgiven us if my brothers and I had come into a holy place bearing arms.
My gaze slid to the altar where a pristine white table cloth hid my brother, Enzo, from view. He was no doubt twitching with energy, desperate to make our move. But we couldn’t yet. Not until our other brother, Frankie, did his part.
The groom strolled up the aisle, muscles straining against a black suit as his dark gaze swept over the gathered mobsters like they were his to command. Nicoli Vitoli. Soon to be heir to all of this. All he had to do was get a ring on Sloan Calabresi’s finger and his position as next in line would be confirmed.
I’d take him out too if I could. But not before we hit her father, Giuseppe. If you want to cut down your enemies, then it makes sense to chop off their head first.
And he wouldn’t appear until the bride did. Because what proud father would miss the opportunity to walk their little girl down the aisle, binding her to his adopted son and solidifying their power in one fell swoop?
My hands curled into fists, my heart beating solidly in my chest as I watched. And waited.
The timing had to be just right.
Father Mariellos stepped up before the altar and those onlookers who had still been lingering in the aisles swapping stories of bullshit and bloodlust quickly moved to take their seats.
A choir readied themselves to sing, their pristine white robes and innocent expressions making me wonder if they really didn’t know they were standing in a room filled with killers and cutthroats. Or maybe they just didn’t want to know. Perhaps they left the judgement down to the almighty.
The first long note was struck on the organ and the congregation stood as all eyes turned to the doors at the back of the enormous church.
The mahogany doors were drawn wide and a beat passed before Giuseppe Calabresi himself stepped into view, his considerable bulk squeezed into a suit which must have been custom made just for him. He held out an arm and from the other side of the doorway, a girl stepped forward dressed head to toe in white.
The wedding dress pooled out around her, the train dragging along the floor in a waterfall of delicately embroidered lace.
A ful
l length veil covered her features so it was impossible for me to see if Sloan Calabresi had changed much in the years that had passed since I’d spared her life. Since I’d let a pair of wide, brown eyes filled with fear talk me out of violence. There weren’t many things that had managed that in my life. I was always ready with my fists, a blade or a gun if the situation allowed it. And yet that day, in that moment, something in the gaze of a terrified girl made me stay my hand.
I’d convinced myself that it was because she was young, innocent and no threat to me. But the truth was, I could have struck a heavy blow against her father by taking her life alongside her uncle’s. I could have. And maybe I should have. But I hadn’t. And even after all these years, I wasn’t entirely sure why not.
Nicoli kept his gaze firmly fixed on the back of the room, not turning his head to see his bride’s approach.
An eternity passed as Giuseppe and Sloan walked up the aisle. Every face in the room was locked on them and I could have sworn the slowness of the bride’s pace was reluctance, not nerves.
I dismissed that thought as soon as it came. Sloan Calabresi was just a pawn in her father’s games. His only child and the key to securing his family’s claim on this city. He was marrying her off to bring Nicoli into the fold officially. The girl wasn’t even going to be taking his name. From this day on, Nicoli would be a Calabresi too. The boy Giuseppe had plucked from nowhere and moulded into a monster in his own image, finally being elevated into the position he’d been groomed for.
If any of the congregation here took exception to this arrangement, they clearly weren’t voicing it. Nicoli might have sprung from nothing, but he’d proved his worth to the man who had taken him in. Paying for his bride in blood and death a thousand times over. I had him to thank for my cousin Mario’s death alongside many others. And I had his life marked as mine just as soon as I’d taken down Giuseppe.
My heart beat harder as the priest began his sermon. Tension was building in my muscles, violence coiling in my heart. This was what I lived for. The release of unleashing the beast which dwelled within me. The war my family waged against the men who filled this room with the stench of superiority and entitlement. I’d give my entire being in the pursuit of their demise. It was what I was born for, bred for. I’d bathe in their blood and dance on their graves before this creature in me would ever be satisfied.
Beautiful Carnage: A Dark Mafia Bully Romance (The Boys of Sinners Bay Book 1) Page 2