Well if he wanted that information, then fine. It was going to infuriate him thinking the Romeros had taken my innocence anyway. And I was more than happy to give him reasons to be miserable since he’d proven how little he cared about my happiness.
I stepped behind the screen, tugging off my shoes, jeans and panties before wrapping the provided towel around my waist.
I moved to the hospital bed, getting onto it and lying back before putting my feet up in the stirrups. Nothing quite like one of these beds to make a girl feel vulnerable.
Dr Dariello settled himself before me on a stool and I stared up at the ceiling, trying to focus on anything else as he pulled on some gloves and got to work with whatever the hell he was doing.
When he was done, he directed me behind the screen again and I was soon dressed, waiting for his verdict on my virginity. One guess what that’ll be.
He made some notes on his computer and I sat in a chair while I waited. He seemed anxious, jittery and even more so when he handed me a small plastic cup.
“I just need a little urine sample.” He pointed to a door across the room, not meeting my eye as I walked away with it.
I headed into the toilet, managing to get a sample after several minutes of trying to relax. I returned to the room, placing it on the desk and he promptly took a packet from his drawer and pulled out a pregnancy test.
My gut lurched as I stared at it. I mean, Rocco said he couldn’t have kids so I didn’t have anything to worry about. And yet as he prepared the test, I started mentally trying to calculate my period in my head. I couldn’t even think when I’d had my last one, but I hadn’t had one while I’d been with the Romeros so that would mean I was due…four days ago.
Oh fuck.
My life changed even before the two lines appeared on the test. I could feel it. Something in me had fundamentally altered and it wasn’t just my time with Rocco. This was physical.
“Well…Miss Calabresi, I’m afraid to say you’re pregnant.”
“Afraid to say?” I echoed, blinking several times. Rocco might have hated me and I might have hated him right back, but that didn’t apply to this child. None of it did.
“Loretta can schedule you in for the termination tomorrow,” he said frankly. “Just have a word with her on your way out. Apart from that, you’re in good health.”
I cupped my hand to my belly protectively, staring at him and his callous words about my child. Termination? No way. There wasn’t a chance in hell.
I stood up, shaken and elated and confused as shit as I made my way from the room.
I’m pregnant with Rocco’s child.
That reality sank in hard and fast with every step I took across the waiting room toward Royce. The doctor was going to tell my father. He’d book the termination himself.
What can I do?
How can I fix this?
I’d lie. It was all I had. And if I pulled it off, it would be okay. Everything would be okay.
“Are you alright? You look very pale,” Royce asked and I nodded mutely, taking his arm as he led me out the door.
“I need to call Nicoli,” I said. “Can I borrow your phone?”
“You can’t tell him what I told you,” Royce said in a low voice. “It will cause world war three.”
“I’m not going to,” I said firmly. Not yet anyway. Because I sure as hell was going to tell him when I could get a moment alone with him.
Royce handed me his phone and I nodded in thanks, slipping into the back of the car, my breathing growing frantic.
I twisted my fingers together, wondering if Nicoli would really pull through for me on this. I supposed I wouldn’t be in any worse of a position if he didn’t.
“Put the divider up,” I told the driver and he did as I said.
Royce threw me a frown a moment before it closed between us.
The phone started ringing and I chewed on my lip anxiously as I waited for him to answer. My hand rested firmly on my stomach and part of me wished I could be making this call to Rocco.
A bitterness filled my chest as I thought of him. Of the lies. How could someone be so heartless? And why does it hurt so much?
“Hello?” Nicoli answered.
“It’s me. Sloan,” I said, my anxiety piquing.
“Oh, hey. Has your father not gotten you a cellphone yet? I can pick you one up today.”
“Yeah sure, thanks,” I garbled. “Look, I need to ask you something. You might be mad, and I understand if you can’t do this for me, but you’re a better man than my father, so I’m hoping you’ll help me keep this from him.”
“Keep what from him?” Nicoli asked with an edge to his tone.
I took a deep breath, figuring there was no perfect way to say this. “I’m pregnant.”
Silence.
“And it’s Rocco’s.”
More silence.
“And I need you to lie and tell my father me and you slept together before I was kidnapped.”
The silence continued and I had to actually check the call hadn’t cut out.
I chewed on my lip almost hard enough to draw blood. “Please Nicoli,” I dropped my voice, my desperation clear. “If Papa finds out it’s Rocco’s, he’ll make me terminate it.”
“And you don’t want to?” he asked, his tone giving away none of his feelings.
“No, I mean, I can’t. It doesn’t matter who Rocco is, I can’t destroy this little life in me. I just can’t.”
“Sloan,” he said, his voice a pained growl. “You said he didn’t hurt you.”
My eyes burned and I choked on my tongue. “He didn’t,” I forced out, knowing that I had to be honest here. I couldn’t have Nicoli thinking Rocco had raped me, it wasn’t right. “I wanted to be with him,” I said heavily.
“Jesus, fucking….shit,” Nicoli said, sounding like he was pacing. “Right, okay….”
“I know this is a big ask, but it’s the only way to cover this up. Father will be mad, but he’ll accept it if he thinks it’s yours,” I implored.
“Of course,” he said at last. “Of course I will, Sloan. Are you heading back to the house now?”
“Yes,” I said, my body sagging with relief. “Thank you, Nicoli. I’ll tell you everything later. About Rocco and….everything.” I had to be honest with him, I owed him that if he was going to do this for me.
“Alright. Your father is on his way home. I’m at the office, but I’ll head over within the hour. If he hears from the doctor, then tell him it’s mine and I’ll back you up as soon as I get there.”
“I can’t tell you what this means to me,” I said, my heart swelling for him. I’d always cared about Nicoli, though a part of me had worried he was just a clone of my father. But he wasn’t at all, and I’d never given him credit for that.
“I told you I’ll always be here for you,” he said. “I meant that.”
I nodded, saying my goodbyes and hanging up. Nicoli had pulled through for me. I’d always known he was a good man, but I didn’t know how deep that ran till now. He’d move mountains for me, always had, always would. And my life would have been so much simpler if I could have loved him. Maybe in time, I still could…
It wasn’t long before we arrived back at the Calabresi manor, pulling up the long drive to the cream stone building that stretched toward the pale sky.
I hurried inside, needing to be alone for a while to think about everything. Father’s car wasn’t here so I had some time to decide what I was going to say to him. If Doctor Dariello had called him already, he was no doubt racing here like a bat out of hell to shout at me, or maybe to plan Rocco’s demise, deciding how he was going to detach each of his limbs.
I headed upstairs and Coco came running up to me, jumping up at my legs excitedly.
“Hey boy.” I plucked him off the ground and hugged him tight as I entered my room.
I tickled his neck and frowned as my fingers snagged on a piece of paper which had been taped there. What the hell?
I p
ushed his fur aside to look at his collar and twisted the small note so that I could read it, while Coco waited patiently, enjoying the fuss as I held him still.
Hate is so very fucking close to love, my guerriera. I have felt both ways for you. I have burned with hate and I have burned with love, but one has waged war with the other and won.
Read my letter again and swap the words love and hate to find out which, I couldn’t risk your father knowing in case he hurt you. RR
Call me if there’s ever a chance for us. 202-555-0149
My lips parted in disbelief. I ran to the trash can, tossing the whole thing upside down as I hunted for the letter, desperate to find it.
No no no, where is it? Where is it??
I found the crumpled ball with a gasp, flattening it out on the floor and rereading the words, swapping every love for hate and every hate for love.
To my sweetest love,
The reason I’m writing this to you, is because I can’t not write it. I love you too much not to let you know it. I hate that you are gone. Truly, I hate the empty rooms, the silence, the lack of you at my side.
I loved every moment I spent in your company but have hated each one I spent hurting you, breaking you, spilling your tears. I love that your soul is a dark mirror of mine and I hate that I will never spend another moment with you again.
I have loved you so hard these past few days that it has split my heart open, making it bloody and raw. To hate you would be my greatest weakness. To hate you would be the worst thing any mortal could do and I would regret any moment I spent with that feeling.
I will love you forever until my body is nothing but bones.
From your nightmare, your monster, your eternal love,
Rocco Romero
Pure joy washed over my heart and flowed through my entire body.
“You asshole,” I laughed through my tears. Because Rocco Romero didn’t hate me at all. Not anymore. He loved me more passionately than I’d ever known anyone to love me. And even though I was angry for what he’d done to me, I couldn’t deny that still felt like the best thing in the world. Like there was still a chance for us.
My hand fell to my stomach as I wiped away my tears.
I have to tell him.
I thought of Royce, sure he’d let me borrow his phone again if I asked. This thing between me and Rocco felt so close to happening. And now that there was a child involved, I could let go of the anger in my heart against him. He’d looked so broken when he’d told me he couldn’t ever have a family of his own but now…now we could make a family together.
“Sloan,” my father’s gravelly voice dragged over me and a shudder raced down my spine. “What are you doing on your knees like some common street whore? Or is that what my daughter is now?”
I turned to find him in my doorway, standing up so I didn’t feel so small beneath him and trying to steel myself to face him. The scent of whiskey sailed from his breath and the general darkness in his eyes said he was blind drunk and clearly enraged.
“I just got off the phone to Doctor Dariello,” he said coldly. “And guess what he said?”
“I’m pregnant,” I offered, backing up a step as he took one forward. I had to lie long enough to keep my child safe. Then Rocco would help get me away from here just as soon as I could contact him. “But Father, it’s not what you think. It’s Nicoli’s, he’ll tell y-” His fist crashed into my cheek so hard I was thrown back into the wall.
I groaned, lifting a hand to my throbbing face as he rushed toward me. Coco yapped furiously from the bed and I tried to tell him to hush, but I couldn’t get the words out. If he drew my father’s attention, he might kill him.
“Do you think I’m a fucking fool?” he snarled, his acrid breath washing over me as he leaned into my face. “You came back to my home without even a gracious word from your lips. You tried to run away that very night. So my guess would be that you’ve been spreading your legs for that dirty piece of filth since the first day he took you.”
“I didn’t!” I tried and his hand clamped around my wrist, locking so tightly I hissed in pain. “Let go,” I demanded, pressing a hand flat to his chest to try and keep him back, but it was like pushing a brick wall. I knew plenty of monsters, but the one staring out of my father’s eyes was the most terrifying I’d ever witnessed.
“Do you think I’ll let some disgusting Romero rat be brought under this roof, raised as my grandchild?”
I lifted my chin, seeing red as he dared to say that like he wasn’t the biggest hypocrite in the world. “I do actually. Because Nicoli isn’t who you say he is, is he Papa? He’s Angelo Romero.”
Papa jerked backwards in shock, looking unsettled for the first time ever. “Who the fuck told you that?” he tried to laugh, but he failed.
“It doesn’t matter who. The truth is I know who he is. So you were always planning on me bringing Romero rats into this home, weren’t you?”
He fumbled for the gun at his hip and horror consumed me.
“Papa!” I gasped, ducking low as he aimed it at me. He fired into the wall then swung it towards Coco who continued to bark like crazy. “No!”
He hit a pillow on the next shot and Coco darted off the bed in alarm. Father angled the pistol towards me again and I leapt forward to try and run for the door. I could feel the barrel aiming my way and true fear took hold of me.
I made it out of my room, racing along the hallway as he came after me, panic sweeping through my veins.
Royce appeared running up the stairs, gun drawn and a look of pure terror in his eyes. “Sloan duck!”
Father’s gun went off before Royce could pull the trigger. Royce slammed to the ground and blood pooled everywhere around him.
“No,” I gasped, falling to my knees beside him and pressing down on the wound. He clutched my hand, drawing in a wheezing breath. “It’s okay, I’m here, it’s going to be okay.”
I was shaking, hovering on the edge of an endless abyss as I stared down at the man I loved more than the father who was my flesh and blood.
Papa’s shadow fell over me and I looked up at him, trembling from head to foot. “How could you?”
“Of course it was you who told her,” he spoke to Royce. “You always liked my waste of space daughter too much,” he slurred then he kicked me in the leg. “Get up. We’re leaving.”
I didn’t move, leaning over Royce as he bled out, knowing there was nothing I could do for him. It was the most horrible feeling in the world. “I’m sorry,” I said through my tears. “I love you.”
“I protected you from the wrong evil, dear Sloan,” Royce wheezed. “Forgive me.”
Papa grabbed a fistful of my hair, hauling me to my feet and dragging me down the stairs away from him.
“No!” I screamed, trying to claw my way free. My hands were stained red and my heart was bursting with pain. “Royce!”
“Shut the fuck up and keep walking,” Papa snapped.
“Where are you taking me?” I begged, staring over my shoulder at Royce’s still form up on the landing.
My heart was in pieces and shock racked my body.
He’s dying up there all alone.
Father’s grip on me tightened as he pulled me along at a fierce pace. “To see your mother.”
I pulled into the driveway at Giuseppe’s manor just over half an hour after I’d spoken with Sloan.
My ears were still ringing with the echoes of that conversation. She was pregnant. And she had slept with Rocco Romero by choice. I couldn’t understand it, but then I imagined there were a lot of things I’d never be able to understand about what it was like to be held captive like that for so long. Maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome. Or maybe she’d really seen something in that demon which had made her want to give herself to him.
Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to cast judgement on her for it. If I’d just done my job better, she never would have been stuck with them for so long. Hell, if I’d acted faster at our wedding, they never would ha
ve taken her in the first place.
Besides, whatever the reasons for the situation, the baby growing inside of her wasn’t to blame. I knew too well what it was like to be an unwanted child, raised by people who only cared for you because they were paid to. I knew the hunger of needing to belong to a family. A real family who truly loved you. It was what I’d spent so many years chasing with the Calabresis. And if Sloan was willing to marry me and give me the family I’d always longed for, then the least I could offer her child was the same. They would be mine in everything other than blood. And love didn’t care much for DNA anyway.
I pulled up outside the house, frowning in surprise as I didn’t spot Giuseppe’s vehicle parked outside. I had expected him to beat me back here, but perhaps it was better that he hadn’t. I’d been so surprised by Sloan’s phone call that I’d barely said any more to her than just agreeing to help. She needed to hear it from my lips. Needed to see I meant it. I would stand by her no matter what. Her and this baby.
The front door was ajar as I reached it and I pulled my pistol from my hip as a trickle of adrenaline raced down my spine.
Something was wrong.
I paused, listening for some sign of what to do and the faint yap, yap, yap of a little dog caught my attention upstairs.
I frowned, adjusting my grip on my gun as I moved through the house, heading for the stairs before taking them two at a time to the landing.
My heart lurched as I spotted Royce bleeding out on the carpet and I quickly scanned the rest of the area for any sign of the Romeros. The barking still came from Sloan’s room along the hall and my confusion grew as I recognised Coco.
I moved forward cautiously, gun ready and Royce suddenly groaned beside me.
“You still with me, buddy?” I breathed. “Who did this?”
“Giuseppe…” Royce rasped and his eyes fluttered open.
Beautiful Carnage: A Dark Mafia Bully Romance (The Boys of Sinners Bay Book 1) Page 33