He bore into my eyes with a hungry, almost anxious, look and then went in for our second kiss…and third, and fourth, and fifth…
I kind of lost count but decided I had better save some for our next date. As much as I savored being so near him, feeling his breath intermingle with mine, something deep inside told me I should probably stop. I started to gently back away.
Josh wasn’t as convinced about my idea of moderation, and his eager hold on the back of my neck took a full minute to loosen until he ultimately accepted my resolve in stopping.
When I was eventually able to pull away enough to speak again, I kissed him on his cheek, smiled, and softly whispered, “Goodnight.”
I couldn’t see him very well with the darkness of his car and how close our faces were, but I heard him sigh in response. “Goodnight, Iris.”
Once I shut his door and started up the driveway to my house, I spun around to smile one last time and wave goodbye, but I stopped short and gasped in shocked disbelief instead. It was dark, so I couldn’t be for sure, but I could have sworn I saw a faint, fluttering shadow on Josh’s left side. Half of it hovered around him in his car, whispering in his ear, while the other half overflowed into the space outside the car, disappearing into the dim night.
I tried to brush it off as my over-stimulated imagination and made an attempt at a smile before rushing into my house, but I couldn’t get rid of the nagging words of my sister from earlier that night: “Just…remember what I said before…okay?”
I groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t I just be a normal, ignorant teenage girl?
The next afternoon was supposed to include the shopping excursion I had promised Lexi, but I was sincerely dreading it. I was in no mood to see more shadows. Not only had the previous night with its various apparitions rattled me, but also, that morning, I had woken up with the same disturbing dream that never ceased to haunt me.
I had seen the mysterious, glowing man at a distance, looking kind and expectant, half raising his hand in a wave. A bright, reflective fog had curled affectionately around his feet, and his entire body had radiated warmth and light so that it had been almost hard to look at him, yet also hard not to.
I’d began to raise my hand and had opened my mouth to speak, but before I could even say anything, I’d suddenly felt a cold, rough hand slam against my mouth as a second hand had clutched tightly around my throat. Choking and coughing, I’d jerked upright in bed and had gasped for air.
I was seriously in no mood or condition to go shopping with Lexi, where more disconcerting visions lurked around waiting for me. But, at the same time, a promise was a promise. Besides, she had sat through two hours of misery next to Sam just for me.
We began at a few smaller stores in the strip mall that I had convinced Lexi were better than the actual mall. At length, we ended up in the only department store in the whole strip. So far, I had been pretty lucky in only seeing a few dark silhouettes here and there.
“I’m sorry, Iris, but I just don’t know how much more of Sam I can take.” Lexi was sifting through a clearance rack in the back of the department store halfheartedly, a determined frown on her face. She pulled the clothes out one by one and slammed them back on the rack as if punishing them for Sam’s behavior.
I tried not to laugh remembering how Lexi had purposefully sat away from Sam but how Sam had stood up and moved to sit in the open seat next to her, unknowingly stepping on her toes in the process.
I picked through my size on the rack, pulling out a few that caught my eye but putting them back. “Well, maybe you should talk to him and tell him you’re not interested,” I suggested, knowing full well that I would never do that.
She looked up at me with her mouth open in shock and disgust. “Yeah, okay! Let me just break the poor guy’s heart in the most awkward way ever. That sounds like so much fun!” She laughed and shook her head indicating I was crazy for thinking such a thing.
“I know it doesn’t sound fun, but it could get even worse if you leave it alone.” I sounded like a mom trying to convince her child to clean and treat a wound instead of letting it heal on its own.
Lexi cringed, probably imagining the potential horrors of Sam’s leech-like attachment getting worse.
Before either of us could continue the discussion, a pleasantly fresh scent wafted through the main entrance of the store, and I turned around automatically to find its source. Lexi raised her head to follow my gaze. A familiar face had entered the store causing similar reactions in both of us: a dreamy stare and sigh from Lexi and a quickened heart rate and gasp from me. Mr. Delaney.
Lexi remembered herself first and swiftly returned her attention to the clothing rack between us. “What’s he doing here?” she whispered loudly.
That woke me up as well, and I shifted to Lexi. “Well, you know, teachers have lives too. I’m sure he needs to buy new clothes every once in a while, like any other normal human being.” I said the words convincingly enough, but they sounded false ringing in my ears. Something about his presence at the store did seem mysterious, unlike the usual disconcerting feeling all students have when they see a teacher outside of school.
I glanced back at him, unable to help myself, and accidentally locked eyes with him. He smiled warmly with a wave to both of us and nodded in recognition. But his nod somehow seemed more directed toward me and deliberate, like it was more than just recognizing me as a student. It almost felt as though he mistook me for someone else, and I was left confused and intrigued.
Lexi didn’t seem to notice. “Gosh, he is so cute!” She sighed after he’d turned in the direction of the home decor department.
I eyed her skeptically. “You know he’s way too old for you, right?”
“Oh, who cares? I can still say he’s hot.” She grinned at me, and I returned it, but it felt hollow. I was beginning to feel I was the only girl in school who was drawn to Mr. Delaney more by curiosity and an unexplainable, warm familiarity, like an older brother or friendly uncle, than by simple attraction.
I pivoted my head discreetly to discover his whereabouts and found him by the clocks and mirrors, but his gaze was directed elsewhere. I followed it to find a lady in her forties in the dress section of the women’s department, lugging around a giant bag, completely oblivious to the heavy shadow surrounding her entire body. It was hard to make out her face from the distance and the opaque, foggy, storm covering her, but I could at least tell she was agitated.
I looked back at Mr. Delaney, and his brows were now furrowed in distress. He began to walk calmly to an older woman wearing a skirt suit and name tag, who must have been the manager, and whispered to her, casually motioning to where the lady lingered.
While they were talking, my eyes went back to the shadow-covered lady. For all I knew, her shadowy cloak could have meant anything from her being excessively depressed to her having an affair. After studying her actions from a distance for only a few seconds, I quickly realized it was neither. She was a thief.
The manager made it to her just before she made a dash for the exit with her large bag. While the manager and Mr. Delaney were talking, I had seen her fill it with two expensive dresses.
I hated confrontation. It made me nauseous. I started searching through the new rack we had migrated to and tried not to listen to the events that followed.
Lexi, however, was facing the scene. “Did you see that?” Her eyes were practically bugging out of her head with the hysteria of someone who had just witnessed a horrendous wreck. “That woman tried to steal something, but the manager stopped her!”
I turned to where I knew she was looking and attempted to sound surprised, but failed. “Really? That’s crazy.” While my head was twisted around, I searched for Mr. Delaney but couldn’t find him anywhere.
“Come on! You act like you see things like that every day!” She was clearly not happy with my failure to share in her ardent interest.
By then I was just too flustered with what I had seen, trying to figure ou
t if my mind was playing tricks on me or if I had actually seen the lady put the dresses in her bag after Mr. Delaney approached the manager. All I could do was stammer a nervous laugh and pretend to focus on the sweaters and jackets in front of me.
Chapter 7
“SO, I SEE YOU’RE wearing that new green top you got Saturday.” I nodded at Lexi in approval and sat down in my seat, trying to ignore Mr. Delaney who was sitting at his desk checking e-mails from the look of it. If I started thinking about him, I would just frustrate myself. With the heap of unanswered questions lying around in my brain, my rampant imagination would no doubt begin filling all the holes in its own disturbed way.
“Yeah.” Lexi grinned. “I had nothing else clean to wear.”
When the bell rang, we waited for Mr. Delaney to address us, but he got up and fidgeted with some papers first, like he was waiting for something and just biding time. A minute later, a student I had never seen, apparently new, strode into our classroom. Normally I didn’t care too much about new students and trying to befriend them. I had enough on my plate trying to appear normal with the friends I currently had. But there was something unique about this girl, and everyone in the class sensed it, just how everyone had sensed something was special and unique about Mr. Delaney the moment he had showed up.
She was petite and graceful in her walk and had a natural, almost organic look to her. Her face was framed with very short, choppy, feathery dark brown hair and longer, uneven bangs that just began to fall in her deep blue eyes. The hairdo looked feminine and flattering on her, despite the fact it was completely natural with no product in it whatsoever.
She wore dark-wash skinny jeans, a light blue, loose-fitting tunic, black ballet flats, several jangling bracelets, and large but slender crystal earrings in the shape of a peace sign that reflected light when they moved. Along with her natural hair and simple makeup, she came across as a fashionista-hippie hybrid.
She was strikingly beautiful in a captivating, yet sweet way, and had an energy and cheerfulness about her that drew people in unintentionally. It amazed me how someone so pretty and obviously confident could also seem so pure and genuine at the same time.
If all those attributes weren’t enough, there was one more aspect about her I was positive others couldn’t see that made me stare in awe and wonder. When she first saw Mr. Delaney, not only did a comfortable smile light up her face, her entire silhouette began to glow, emanating light that flowed gracefully about her a few inches out in every direction.
I was intrigued at such a spectacle. I had only seen bright forms of light around a few people before, including the mother in her car, my sister Hanna, and the senior in the lunchroom, but those instances were completely different. Those were actual figures of light talking to the people or protecting them.
This girl was different. She seemed to own the light around her…or maybe the light owned her. I wasn’t sure which.
Once she shifted her attention to the sea of students, however, she appeared to remember something. The soft, fluttering light around her instantly retreated back into hiding. She smiled back at Mr. Delaney and handed him a slip of paper.
Without even looking at it, he nodded slightly but warmly, and some unspoken communication passed between them as though they’d known each other for years and were already close friends.
They both faced the class, and Mr. Delaney introduced her. “This is Kyra Finley, everyone. She’s a new student, so I want you all to make her feel welcome.”
The class murmured in response, some nodding, some smiling or waving, some brave guys even introducing themselves.
“Kyra, why don’t you go ahead and take that seat by Iris.” He pointed to the empty desk to my right.
I thought she might be disappointed at the thought of sitting next to me instead of one of the cute boys already wrapped around her little finger. Instead, she gazed at me with a warm smile before confidently waltzing to her appointed seat. She was so agile and dainty I could hardly hear her feet hit the tiled floor.
“Hi, Iris! I’m Kyra,” she declared energetically after taking her seat, holding out her hand in an old-fashioned but polite effort to shake my hand.
I complied. “Hey.”
When she shook my hand, the fluttering light around her returned briefly, then switched off again, like turning up the volume on a stereo and then abruptly shutting off the power.
I withdrew my hand and tried to hide my amazement by swiftly turning to inspect my desk. I had to admit, she kind of intimidated me at first. Sitting next to someone that exuded confidence, joy and light so freely almost made me jealous. However, as if on purpose to get me over my jealousy and uneasiness toward Kyra, Mr. Delaney started with a group activity that put Kyra, Lexi and me together.
“Hester Prynne had to wear the scarlet letter A for the rest of her life that labeled her as an adulteress—her hidden secret.” Mr. Delaney wandered around the clusters of desks in the room. “Your assignment is to use the letter A to come up with five different labels students today might be forced to wear if their hidden secrets were revealed. You don’t have to get personal, but if you want a few of the labels to relate to your own lives, by all means, feel free to share with your classmates.”
He paused and peered at all of us encouragingly and, once again, looked at me. “Sometimes sharing secrets can remove tremendous burdens.” He smiled and kept his eyes on me long enough to make me feel awkward and then turned back to the class. My face flushed. “All right, get started.”
While the class began buzzing with chatter, much of which was off-topic, Kyra turned to Lexi, beaming at her as she stretched out her hand to make their acquaintance official. “Hi. We haven’t really met yet. I’m Kyra.”
Lexi smiled shyly and shook her hand. “Lexi.”
We stared at the five red pieces of paper with giant A’s on them in front of us, but for several seconds nobody spoke.
“So, where should we begin?” Kyra broke the silence, confidently but not rudely taking charge of our little group. “I guess we could just start brainstorming A words that might be common secrets kids have these days.”
She pulled out a pen from her vinyl white bag that looked more like a large purse than a bookbag. When she lifted her head to us expectantly, eyes sparkling, she appeared so self-assured that I forgot to ask if she had ever even read The Scarlet Letter.
“Um…okay,” I stammered, surprised that somehow I actually felt comfortable talking about secretive things with a complete stranger.
“How about alcoholic?” Lexi said.
“Good one!” Kyra wrote Alcoholic in perfect calligraphy underneath the first large A. “Definitely a major problem with today’s teens. Although, I don’t know how secretive it is.” We both smirked and nodded in agreement.
“Ooh! I thought of another one! Active. As in sexually active.” Lexi surveyed both of us with a smug look, proud of her clever answer.
“Good job,” Kyra said as she scrawled on another red piece of paper. Once she finished, we all sat in brief silence until Kyra directed her gaze straight at me as a counselor might gaze at her client before asking a painful question to which she already knows the answer. “How about anxious?”
My eyes grew wide and I pressed my lips together in surprise.
Lexi squinted her eyes questioningly, obviously not understanding.
Kyra let her gaze on me drop momentarily to explain. “You’d be surprised how many teens carry around the secret of anxiety. It can be a horrible burden if they don’t share it with somebody.”
Trying to hide my discomfort, I moved my eyes to my desk and kept it there while Kyra peered back at me. As Lexi nodded, Kyra began writing on the third piece of paper.
She’s known me for ten minutes, I reminded myself in an effort to remain calm. There’s no way she knows about my anxiety or especially the cause of it. Quit being paranoid.
“Well, Iris, are you going to make us do all the work here or what?” Lexi grinned a
t me. Apparently it was my turn.
“Oh, uh…what do we have so far?”
Kyra read them back to me. “Alcoholic, active, anxious.”
“Um…addict?” I asked hesitantly, trying to find in Kyra’s eyes if she thought it was a good answer. She nodded encouragingly. “I mean I know we already have alcoholic. But addict can apply to all drugs, and it’s more of a secretive thing anyway.”
I didn’t know where my confidence was coming from but they both jumped on board eagerly. We now only had one more label to come up with.
We all sat for a minute thinking, Lexi and I looking dumbfounded while Kyra resembled The Thinker statue with her chin resting on her fist in a regal pose.
At last, Kyra sat up straight and slowly put her arm down. “I’ve got it.” She eyed both of us contentedly and then disclosed her answer. “Angel.”
That time both Lexi and I were puzzled. “How is that a secret a teen might have?” Lexi asked, sounding like a student questioning a knowledgeable teacher.
“Well, I know it isn’t really a bad secret. But there are kids out there who are honestly good inside, but they don’t want people to know because they think it’s uncool.”
“So they do all these stupid things to make people think they’re bad,” Lexi finished for her enthusiastically.
“Exactly.” Kyra completed the last of our labels. “I guess that means we’re done!” She stacked the red pieces of paper neatly together.
Apparently Kyra’s presence had made Lexi bold also, because she offered without hesitating, “You know, if you need somewhere to sit at lunch, we’d be happy to have you.”
I was a little amazed at Lexi’s presumptuousness. Just because Kyra was friendly to us in class where she was forced to be in our group didn’t mean she would want to hang out with us. I was pleasantly surprised.
“Sure! That sounds great! I’ll look for you guys.”
Three days later, as Kyra waited in the lunch line with me, having sat at our lunch table every day since, I was pretty confident that our newfound friend wasn’t going to be ditching us anytime soon. We all already adored her. The way she lit up our table with her optimism and cheerfulness was refreshing, and I still couldn’t get over the literal light that illuminated her entire petite frame at random.
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