by L A Cotton
“You mean Bryan? He’s trying to win over Peyton with all his best moves.”
“Good luck there. She doesn’t date football players. In fact, she doesn’t date anyone. But that’s not the point.”
“Well, this is fun and all,” Sofia said, “but I came here to have actual fun. So I’ll be inside. Poppy?”
“Count me in.” They took off toward the arcade, leaving the four of us.
“Shall we?” Ashleigh motioned for Gav to follow her. He glanced between her and me and back again.
“Err, yeah, why not?”
“Discreet,” I mumbled, running a hand over my head and down the back of my neck.
Lily was frozen in place, her arms folded around her waist. “You must regret coming here now,” she said, barely looking at me.
“Lily, that’s not—”
“I get it. I didn’t before.” She finally pinned me with her baby blues, and something twisted inside me. “I thought you were just using it as an excuse or something. But after last night, I get it.”
“My dad is an asshole. I didn’t expect him to show up like that.”
“He really hates my dad, huh?” Sadness crept into her eyes.
“He hates everyone.” I tipped my head toward one of the benches lining the promenade, and before I could convince myself it was a bad idea, said, “Do you want to sit?”
“Okay.”
We moved over to the bench and I fought a smile when Lily sat as far away from me as possible.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “After last night, I mean.”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “I’m used to it. Was hoping Coach and the team would never have to see it, but it is what it is.”
“Is he…?” Lily bit her lip, swallowing whatever she was about to ask. She looked so fucking cute, all curious big eyes and that uncertain smile that made her cheeks dimple.
Lily Ford was the kind of girl who wore her feelings for all to see. Fear. Sadness. Regret. A rainbow of emotion lived in her eyes that changed depending on the moment.
And right now, they were glittering with so much sympathy it felt like the wind had been knocked right out of my lungs.
“Is he a drunk?” she said, and I nodded. “He was. He’s supposed to be in recovery, but he has good and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It is what—”
“It is. Yeah. I get it. But it doesn’t mean you just have to accept it.”
“I’d rather focus on things I can control.”
“Like what?”
“Like giving my all to football. Getting out of Rixon.” Not kissing you.
She pressed her thumb to her lip, poking the corner of her mouth, drawing my attention there. When I was trying really fucking hard not to stare at her lips.
“You want to leave Rixon?”
“Yeah, there’s nothing for me here.” My shoulders lifted in a half-hearted shrug.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Alabama.”
“Wow, that’s… a long way away.”
“It is. But it’s one of the best football programs in the country. And to be the best you have to play with the best.”
“Is that why you came to Rixon High, instead of transferring to Millington or Fenn Hill?”
“Something like that. Although I’m beginning to think it wasn’t my best idea ever.”
Lily dropped her gaze. “I guess there’s a lot of history between our families.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“I know that, and you know that…” She lifted her eyes to mine again, and I found myself swimming in two pools of ice-blue water. “I’m sorry if my dad is being an ass about you being on the team.”
“He’s under a lot of pressure,” I shook my head a little, trying to clear my thoughts, “and Monroe is his star player. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”
“Maybe I can talk to him—”
“No.” Lily flinched, and I felt like an asshole for snapping at her. “I mean, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Right.” She began tugging the ends of her braid. I watched her for a second. It was like she didn’t even realize she was doing it.
When she finally noticed me looking, Lily dropped her hair and tucked her hands underneath her thighs.
Weird.
“We should probably go find the others,” she said, standing.
“Yeah.” I hesitated. I didn’t want to go inside. I wanted to stay out here with the strange girl who made everything go quiet. But that would only lead down a path I couldn’t go. So I stood up too and gave her a weak smile.
“Lead the way.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lily
“Going on it?” Gav stepped up beside me.
“Oh no. I’m just watching.” We’d been in the arcade for the last hour or so. There had been guys versus girls air hockey—Poppy and Peyton totally kicked Gav and Bryan’s asses—then the guys had gone off to play some NFL virtual game while me and the girls played on the claw machines.
Now everyone was taking turns on the Virtual Coaster. Peyton and Bryan were strapped into the seats being flung around inside the simulator while her shrieks filled the air as the rest of us watched on.
“It’s the closest you’ll get to the real thing. You should try it,” he said.
“I’m okay, thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” He shrugged.
“Guess you’re stuck with me,” Ashleigh said, at complete ease with the idea of riding with him.
Sofia and Poppy had ridden first, picking the most intense ride. Which of course spurred Bryan to do the same.
“He’s right, you know?” Kaiden whispered over my shoulder. “You should try it.”
“Where did you go?” He’d been missing for the last ten minutes.
Not that I was counting.
“My mom called.” His expression darkened.
“Is everything okay?”
“It will be. Don’t worry about me.”
But I did.
I couldn’t help it.
We stood side-by-side, watching our friends ride the simulator. Although I couldn’t see the images being played to them through the virtual headset, I felt every jolt, every rise and fall. When Peyton shrieked, I startled. And when it was Ashleigh’s turn, I inhaled every breath of anticipation right along with her.
“You should ride it,” Kaiden said, pulling me from my fascination.
“I’ve never—”
“You’ve never ridden a coaster?”
“No,” I confessed. “I’m not good with heights and I’m not sure I’d like wearing the headset.”
“Have you ever tried?”
“No, but…” The reply died on my tongue. I didn’t want to tell him how just watching my friends made my heart beat that bit harder, my palms clam up, or my stomach churn like it was right there with them.
“I’ll ride with you.”
“W-what?”
“You heard me.” The corner of his mouth lifted into an adorable smirk.
God, he was gorgeous. I’d never laid eyes on a boy like Kaiden before. His face had the most perfect symmetry: eyes in line with the rest of his features, a slightly crooked nose that pointed to full lips, and a strong jaw.
“What?” His brows furrowed.
“I don’t know. I might get sick.” Or have a panic attack.
“There’s an emergency button. If it gets to be too much, you just hit it and the ride stops.”
“It does?”
“Yeah, it’s a safety precaution. All simulators have them.”
The ride began to slow down, cranking and shifting back into its holding position.
“What’s it going to be?” Kaiden looked up at me through thick, dark lashes. “Will you ride the simulator with me, Lily?” My name rolled off his tongue in a way that made my tummy clench.
“I—”
“What’s happening?�
� Ashleigh and Gav joined us. They both looked slightly flushed and a little breathless.
“Lily’s going to ride the simulator with me,” Kaiden said.
“She is?” Ashleigh’s eyes grew to saucers. “But she never rides.” She stared at me, waiting. As if she expected me to set Kaiden straight and tell him that it was true, that I never rode.
But I was so freaking tired of always being that girl. The girl on the sidelines watching everyone else live their lives while mine passed me by in a chain of fake smiles and bitter regrets.
“Lily?” Kaiden said. “We’re up.”
“I… yeah, okay.” My heart double somersaulted as I followed him around to the small safety gate.
“Wait.” Ashleigh grabbed my arm. “You don’t have to do this, Lil. You’ve got nothing to prove.”
“Yeah, I do.” I gently pulled my arm free and slipped through the gate.
“Okay?” Kaiden asked, and I nodded.
Nervous energy drenched my bloodstream, adrenaline pumping through my body like angry waves crashing to shore.
“Climb in and slip on the safety harness.”
I did as Kaiden said, hardly surprised my trembling fingers couldn’t find the belt mechanism.
“Here.” He took over for me, our fingers brushing for a second. Our eyes collided and his turned dark and hungry. I gulped, trying to breathe. But everything was heightened, the air around us thick and sludgy, and the simulator hadn’t even started yet.
“You need to put your headset on,” he said, demonstrating for me.
Everything grew quiet around me as I picked it up and studied the funny looking face mask.
“If at any time, you need to stop the ride, hit this button.” Kaiden pointed out the big red button fitted to the bar separating our seats.
“Do you want to choose the track we do?”
“Can you pick one?” I said, inhaling a shuddering breath. “Just don’t pick the worst one.”
“Relax. We’ll take it easy since it’s your first go.” He said it like it wasn’t the last time we’d be doing this. “Okay?”
I nodded again, the giant pit in my stomach already making me feel weightless. I slid on the headset and gave myself a second to adjust to the feel of it. Color exploded in front of me the second I opened my eyes and I jerked back into the seat.
“Relax,” Kaiden whispered. “Your eyes will adjust.”
“I’m not sure I can—” I swallowed roughly.
“Here. This might help.” His hand found mine and he tangled our fingers together.
What was happening right now?
I was about to ride the simulator with Kaiden, the boy who consumed my thoughts, and he was holding my hand.
Warmth flowed through me at his touch and as the simulator began to crank and shift around us, the panic surging inside me didn’t spill over into a full-blown panic attack.
I could do this.
If I didn’t like it, all I had to do was hit the safety button and I’d be back on solid ground.
“Ready?” Kaiden asked. We were already riding the track, the scenery moving past us as it hiked toward the pinnacle.
“Lily?”
“Y-yeah?” I croaked.
“I asked if you’re ready.”
“Too late now.” We were suspended at the top of the track, caught somewhere between hesitation and the point of no return. My heart was already a runaway train in my chest, but it was nothing compared to the rush of adrenaline that exploded inside me when the simulator jerked us forward and down, everything rushing past us at lightning speed.
Kaiden squeezed my hand, but I couldn’t speak. My world was a blur of images and sensations and heart pounding chemicals.
We shunted left and right, up and down. The graphics were so real, so lifelike, that I felt like I was right there. My stomach left my body every time we flew over another hump, but I didn’t feel crippling fear or vomit-inducing anxiety… I felt free.
It felt like flying, soaring through the air like a bird.
Laughter spilled from my lips, punctuated with sharp breaths and gasps of awe as the virtual simulator transported me to another place.
By the time it cranked back into its resting position, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
I lifted the headset off and slipped it into its holster.
“So?” Kaiden studied my face.
“That was… I’ve never felt anything like it.” I grinned. I actually grinned.
Kaiden chuckled, his eyes crinkling with amusement. “See, it wasn’t so scary.”
“It was… I felt like I was flying.” An awed sigh escaped my lips.
He helped me out of my seat, but I stumbled into him. His big hands steadied my shoulders, and I gazed up at him, lost in his slate-gray eyes.
“Lily, I—”
“Holy crap, Lil.” Ashleigh’s voice cut through air. “That was amazing.”
Our friends surrounded us, the girls vying for my attention. It was strange to be the center of their world for once.
“I can’t believe you did it,” Poppy said, pride radiating from her smile.
“Are you okay?” Peyton added.
“I’m fine.” I chuckled, stepping back to give myself some breathing room. My eyes flicked up at Kaiden and he gave me a shy smile.
I wanted to thank him, to tell him what a gift he’d given me. But Bryan and Gav dragged him off to see Bryan’s high score on the NFL game, and the girls tugged me in the direction of the concession stand.
“He likes you,” Ashleigh said, burrowing into my side.
He did.
I felt it every time he looked at me.
I just wasn’t sure it was enough.
“Hey, baby,” Mom said. “How was Riverside?”
“It was fun. I rode the coaster simulator.”
“You did?” Her eyes widened.
“I did, and I didn’t freak out. Well, only a little.”
“Wow, I’m proud of you, Lil.”
“And she met a boy,” Ashleigh snickered.
“A boy you say? What boy?”
“Kai—”
“Shut up, Ash,” I ground out, and she poked out her tongue at me.
“I love you, baby.” Mom gripped my shoulders and leaned in to whisper. “But please don’t give your father a heart attack by mentioning Kaiden Thatcher today.”
“How did you know?”
She rounded the breakfast counter and gave me a knowing smile. “Because you’re my daughter and you have a gentle soul and a kind heart. Of course the bad boy from across the river would catch your eye.”
“It isn’t like that, Mom.” Blood rushed into my cheeks. “Kaiden is—”
“Trouble, baby. He’s trouble. I never want to clip your wings, but it’s a big year for you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Hurt? Why do you think Kaiden will hurt me?”
“Because he’s an eighteen-year-old guy with raging hormones and football in his blood.”
“But so was Dad and he didn’t hurt you.”
She inhaled a sharp breath and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Taming guys like your father, like Uncle Cam, it isn’t easy, and it definitely wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I don’t want that for you, sweetheart. You deserve someone who can give you their all.”
I frowned. I didn’t want to tame Kaiden, I just wanted to know him. To feel his lips on mine again.
“What’s going on in here?” Dad appeared in the back door.
“Nothing, the girls were just about to help me bring everything out.” Mom motioned to the stacks of plates and bowls.
Ashleigh grabbed a load and made her way outside, Mom hot on her heels.
“Everything okay, Lil?” he asked as I loaded a tray with condiments from the refrigerator.
“Sure, Dad.”
“If there’s something wrong—”
Spinning around, I pinned him with a hard look. “Did you choose Jenson for the starting lineup for th
e game against Marshall because he’s the best?”
His brows furrowed. “Where is this coming from? You know I always make decisions—” He stopped himself, running a hand over his jaw. “This is about Kaiden, isn’t it?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged.
He let out a strained breath. “Kaiden Thatcher is good, great even, but he’s new to the team, to the way I do things. Jenson is—”
“The son of the booster fund’s biggest donor?”
“Now hang on a minute, Lily, that isn’t fair.”
“But it’s fair to cast judgment on Kaiden because his father is an ass?”
“Lily! What has gotten into you, sweetheart? Are the two of you… actually, no, don’t answer that.”
“Don’t worry, Dad,” I gritted out, “Kaiden knows what’s at stake. He wants football.” Not me. “But he needs you to give him a fair shot.”
Silence hung between us as Dad studied me. “Sometimes I forget that you’re a young woman. Capable and with her own mind.”
“I’m almost eighteen, Dad,” I scoffed.
“I know. But you’ll always be my little girl, and I’ll always want to protect you.”
Emotion welled inside me. He meant well; he always did. But Mom and Dad seemed to forget sometimes that I needed to fall down occasionally. Because if you never fall down you couldn’t learn how to pick yourself back up.
“Listen, Lil, do I need to be worried about this thing with Kaiden?”
“There is no thing with Kaiden, Dad.” The lie soured on my tongue. Because whether Kaiden admitted it or not, there was something between us.
Something I wasn’t sure I could just forget about.
“Good, sweetheart.” He came around and kissed my head. “Because you can do so much better. When you’re older, much much older.”
“I’m almost eighteen,” I called after him, his shoulders shaking with quiet laughter.
But I wasn’t laughing.
The excitement I’d felt earlier at the arcade had dissipated, replaced with the familiar ball of dread.
The doorbell rang, startling me. “I’ll get it,” I yelled to no one in particular, moving down the hall.
“Miley, oh my God.” I smiled at my cousin’s girlfriend. “But what are you—”