by Lisa Childs
“If you hadn’t pulled that trigger, you and I would probably both be dead now,” he said.
She shuddered and glanced again at the man lying on the ground. But Tobias tipped up her chin, and his heart clenched at the sight of the vivid bruises on her otherwise alabaster skin. This battle between him and his brother hadn’t been her fight, yet she’d fought—for his daughter and for him.
“Thank you…” The words were inadequate to express his gratitude.
“Tabitha’s really okay?” she asked. “I don’t think you’d leave her if she was hurt. But I need to know that she’s all right. When the house exploded, I thought you’d both been killed.”
“She told me to save Jilly,” he reminded her.
Those tears glistened in her eyes again as she nodded. “When you said that, I knew you’d talked to her. That’s what she calls me….”
“You saved my little girl,” he said, and damned if tears didn’t sting his own eyes. But he blinked back the threat of moisture; he hadn’t cried since he’d been about Tabitha’s age. Because, like Jillian, he’d had no one to cry to.
“And you just saved me now,” he said. Thanking her was inadequate.
So he kissed her, gently brushing his lips across her swollen ones. It was all he had time for as the warehouse exploded with lights and to the commotion of the police shouting, “Freeze!”
It was over, or so he thought until a SWAT officer knocked him to the ground and handcuffed his wrists behind his back. “You’re under arrest…”
The words rang in his ears with the realization that it wasn’t over; it may not be over for a long while. He hadn’t just lost everything he’d spent his life building; he might have lost his freedom, too.
He had nothing to offer Jillian Drake. He had no right to say the words burning in his throat. I love you…
And so he restrained himself from making the declaration. He didn’t dare to even look at her as the police led him away. He wouldn’t make her a promise he might not be able to keep.
FLASHBULBS AND LIGHTS blinded Jillian as she stepped out of the police department, after what had seemed like hours of answering questions as state troopers had written up her statement. Like her, the state police department had lost faith in the local authorities. The media surrounded her, pushing mikes into her face. She squinted and lifted her hand, not to block their shots but to shield her sensitive eyes. Exhaustion had already begun to blur her vision; she had no fight left in her now.
“Jillian, can you tell us what you know about Tobias St. John’s involvement in the siege on the city?”
She could, but she’d made a promise. So she summoned enough energy to push her way through the crowd, pulling away from the hands that clutched at her. But then someone threw her arms around Jillian’s neck.
“Thank God, you’re alive,” Vicky said, her voice cracking on a sob. “I thought…I thought…”
“The whole damn city thought the same thing,”
Charlie said as he helped them through the crowd to the open door of the station’s van. “We all thought you were dead.”
The concern on their young faces touched Jillian’s heart. After her ex-husband and her ex-friend had shattered her trust, she hadn’t allowed herself to get close to anyone; she hadn’t wanted to care about anyone only to get hurt again. But despite her standoffishness, her coworkers genuinely cared about her. “I’m sorry…”
“For scaring the crap out of us?” Charlie admonished her. “You should be sorry.” But then he hugged her, too.
“God, Jillian, what the hell happened to you? I saw your car—there’s nothing left of it. There was no way anyone could have survived that explosion.”
Vicky wiped her face, but tears kept streaming from her eyes. “Do you know how hard it was to report your disappearance? To think you’d been killed…?”
“I’m sorry,” she said again with a smile. “But you did great, Vicky.”
Charlie gave a vigorous nod of agreement.
“I’m going to have to watch my back,” Jillian teased. “You’re going to be after my job.”
The young woman shuddered. “No, thanks. I don’t want to have to get on that side of the camera ever again.”
“There are other reporters who could have covered the story,” Jillian pointed out. She wasn’t the only on-air talent at the station.
“But it was you…” Her friend swallowed hard. “I’d been talking to you on the phone. Then it went dead, but we didn’t want to believe you were—”
“No one else could have reported it,” Charlie said, admiration and something else in his eyes as he glanced at Vicky. “At least, they couldn’t have done it without trying to steal your job.”
Jillian shrugged. “I probably don’t have a job, anyway. I’m sure Mike’s furious with me.”
Charlie laughed. “Are you kidding? You’re the only reporter who knows the entire story. You could have a job with any network you want—local or national.”
“National,” she murmured. It was all she’d thought she’d wanted when she’d started investigating what had been happening around the city. Now she wanted so much more. But Tobias hadn’t even looked at her as they’d led him off in handcuffs. Had that kiss just been his way of saying goodbye?
“You’re hurt,” Vicky said, dabbing at Jillian’s lip with a tissue. “Let’s get you cleaned up a bit and we’ll start filming.”
Jillian shook her head. “I can’t…”
“You don’t look that bad,” Charlie said. “I’ll use soft focus, low light. ’Course, it would be more dramatic to show your bruises. You took a hell of a beating for this story, Jillian.”
“It was worth it,” she said, thinking of Tabitha and Tobias. But they weren’t together now. The little girl was with social services while Tobias sat in jail. Jillian’s head pounded with frustration; she had tried to explain to the police that Tobias hadn’t really done anything wrong. The only businesses he’d damaged had been his own. And the man dying had been an accident. They shouldn’t hold Tobias responsible for what was all Edward’s fault. Either they hadn’t understood or they simply hadn’t believed her.
“Let’s start filming, then,” Charlie said.
Jillian shook her head. “I can’t.”
“You’re not ready?” Vicky asked, her eyes warm with sympathy for the ordeal Jillian had endured.
“No. I can’t,” she explained, “because I promised to keep what I learned off the record.”
“But you gave a statement to the police,” Vicky said, “or they wouldn’t have released you. You would have been held in contempt.”
“I told the police so I could help clear Tobias’s name,” she said. “It wasn’t him. It was his twin.”
“There are two of them?” Charlie whistled in surprise. “You can’t keep a story like this from coming out.”
“It will,” Vicky agreed. “Just like all those reports about the phantom came out.”
“He’s not a phantom or a monster.” He was the man she loved.
“He’s in a lot of trouble,” Vicky pointed out. “Not just with the police, but the whole city. Everyone’s blaming him. He’s facing prison time.”
Which meant a longer, maybe even a permanent, separation from Tabitha. Jillian hadn’t saved them both only to have them lose each other.
“But I gave my word…” She argued with herself now. Like her, Tobias struggled to trust anyone; she couldn’t betray the trust he’d put in her.
She closed her gritty eyes, and like she had before, she saw Tabitha mouthing that plea. Help me.
HIS HAND SHAKING as he gripped the remote, Tobias stabbed the off button. He couldn’t bear to see her face, beautiful even with the bruises, as she betrayed him. “She told me it was all off the record,” he murmured, his guts twisting with regret. “I should have known better than to trust her.”
Nick Morris leaned back in his chair and sighed. The estate destroyed, he’d offered Tobias the use of his house, a s
mall cabin on the wooded outskirts of the city. They sat in the den, which was only big enough for two leather easy chairs and the television console.
“I don’t know, man,” the security chief said, “she might have just done you a huge favor.”
By making him glad he hadn’t confided his feelings to her? But he wasn’t relieved; he was more than disappointed, too. “What do you mean?”
“We couldn’t even get bail until this story started airing,” Nick reminded him of his earlier frustration. “Now we’re out on our own.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call this high-tech ankle bracelet ‘on our own,’” Tobias said, tugging up his jeans to show off the tracking device.
“Yeah, I’ve got one, too,” Nick reminded him. “But I’d rather wear this than a prison jumpsuit.”
“The charges will get dropped,” Tobias assured him. “We’ve got evidence—videos—to prove what he did.” Fortunately Edward hadn’t figured out that someone had hacked into the security system. He’d revealed more than enough to incriminate himself.
“That footage won’t get us off completely,” Nick said. “There are other charges. Accessory after the fact, manslaughter…”
“You and I didn’t kill anyone,” Tobias said. But his gut tightened with regret. “At least, not purposely.”
“It wasn’t your fault that Hamilton died,” Nick assured him. “From the Forces, he had even more experience with explosives than you do. He knew the risks going in.”
“But he did it, anyway,” Tobias said. “For me.”
“For her,” Nick said with a smile. “You know Tabitha has us all twisted around her little finger.”
The guys in his unit loved his little girl nearly as much as he did. While all those charges Nick had mentioned were pending, they’d been released, and Tabitha had temporarily been released into his custody. “We’ll be cleared.” They had to be. He couldn’t lose his daughter again. “Or we’ll be able to cut a deal for probation.” The lawyer they’d hired had served with them, too; he would do everything he could to help.
“Even if we do get cleared,” Nick said doubtfully, “there’s still the matter of public opinion.”
“I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.” Except his daughter. And Jillian. He had cared what she thought; that was why he’d told her more than he should have trusted her with knowing.
“And Tabitha’s custody,” Nick continued, as if he hadn’t spoken. “You could lose her…if people don’t understand why you had to do what you did.”
“He was going to kill her,” Tobias reminded him. If not for Jillian, he would have. “He killed those guards and those young women, too.”
“Not everyone believes that he’s the killer. He looks so much like you…” Nick snorted. “And he’s lying through his teeth about everything that happened, swearing that’s not him on that footage. That it’s you instead. Too bad Ms. Drake didn’t shoot him in the heart although I doubt he probably has one.”
“I’m glad she didn’t kill him,” Tobias admitted.
Nick grimaced with disgust and concern. “You don’t feel sorry for him….”
“I hate his guts for everything he’s done,” Tobias assured his friend. “I’m just glad she didn’t kill him. She shouldn’t have to live with that.”
Nick nodded his understanding. “And she saved your life.”
“I am grateful for that,” Tobias said. “But I asked her to keep everything I told her off the record. I never should have believed her.”
Because she’d lied about that, he couldn’t trust that she’d had any real feelings for him. Just as his ex had used him for his money and position, Jillian had used him to further her career.
“I know you’re crazy about protecting your privacy and all that. But you needed to get your side of the story out there,” Nick said. “She did that for you.”
“It wasn’t her place.”
“It wasn’t her place to risk her life for Tabitha’s, but she did that, too.”
Narrowing his eyes in irritation, Tobias glared at his friend. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a thing for Ms. Drake.”
“I’m not the one with a thing for her,” Nick said with a teasing grin. “You’re the one who has never missed a single one of her broadcasts.”
He gestured toward the blank television screen. “Not anymore.”
He would miss Jillian’s broadcasts while he tried not to miss her. Even if he could trust her, he had nothing to offer her anymore.
Chapter Sixteen
“It’s going to be so weird around here with you gone,” Vicky said, spooning the last bite of chocolate cake into her mouth.
Jillian glanced down at the crumbs on her plate, then smiled at her young friend. “You managed just fine without me. You’re going to do great.”
Vicky shook her head. “I don’t belong in front of the camera. And you don’t belong here. I can’t believe you even had to think about taking the job. It’s the national network offer you’ve been dying to get.”
And it was literally almost dying that had put her ambition in perspective for her. Her career was just a job now. She wanted people in her life instead—friends and family. A man to love, a child to cherish…
But since she couldn’t have what—or at least who—she really needed, she would settle for what she’d once thought she had to have.
“Aren’t you excited?” Vicky asked as her own eyes sparkled with it. “Your gorgeous face is going to be in every single living room across the nation!”
“Only if they watch the station I’m on,” Jillian pointed out with a smile.
“According to the ratings, the majority of viewers will be watching you.”
Would Tobias? Or was he too angry to even look at her now? He must have been because he hadn’t called.
And she hadn’t been able to find him. So she’d waited for him to contact her, but the only calls she’d gotten had been job offers.
Too bad that wasn’t the kind of offer she wanted anymore.
“Be happy,” Vicky urged her.
“Give her a break,” Charlie said as he joined them in the break room at the station. “She’s been through a lot over the past couple of weeks. She has to process everything.”
She hoped he was right—that being overwhelmed was why she dreaded the thought of leaving River City.
Of leaving Tobias and Tabitha.
“Any cake left?” Charlie asked hopefully as he glanced around the room.
“Nope,” Vicky said as she licked her fork.
“I just wanted another taste,” Charlie said, lifting his eyebrows suggestively as he leaned closer to the dark-haired woman.
Glad that two of the people she cared about had found happiness, Jillian smiled as she left them alone.
One more broadcast and her packed suitcases would be loaded into a taxi to bring her to the airport. How could she just leave…without seeing him and his little girl at least one last time?
But she had no idea where he was staying. The damaged estate had been boarded up and abandoned. Not a single reporter had been able to reach him for comment about the story she’d told on-air the night he’d been arrested. The night she’d shot a man.
TOBIAS HAD GONE to bed early, hoping he’d sleep right through it. But he couldn’t even close his eyes. He stared instead at the dark screen of the television mounted on the bedroom wall of his and Tabitha’s new home.
He hadn’t wanted to impose on Nick too long and not just because the cabin had been too small for the three of them. Hell, this house wasn’t much bigger, but Tobias actually preferred its coziness and warmth to the expanse and elegance of the estate. He preferred its quiet, too—no Nick pushing him to talk to Jillian, or to at least watch her. And remember how much he owed her.
He lifted the remote, his hand shaking, and pointed it at the television. As he turned it on, she lit up the screen with a smile aimed directly into that camera. He felt as if she was looking only at
him. His heart shifted with emotion, and he couldn’t hear what she was saying for the pounding of his pulse in his ears. But as he reached for the volume button, his door pushed open. He tensed in reaction, ready to fight, then remembered where his twin was—locked up for the rest of his life in a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane.
A face peered around the side of the door. Wide blue eyes stared at him for a long moment as the little girl studied him. “Daddy?” she asked, her voice quavering with fear and doubt.
“Yes, sweetheart, it’s me,” he assured her, his heart breaking as it did every time she looked at him with that skeptical expression. “It’s me….”
“Daddy,” she said with a sigh of relief. Then she threw open the door the rest of the way and ran across the room to vault into bed with him.
“Sweetheart.” He wrapped an arm around her thin shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Aren’t you supposed to be in your own bed, sleeping?”
She shook her head, her teeth nipping into her bottom lip. “I couldn’t sleep, Daddy….”
“Nightmare?” He had brought her to a child psychologist, someone to help her work through the trauma she’d suffered when they’d been apart. The woman had assured him that his just being with her, and loving her, would help her through the worst of her fears. If the district attorney and the judge hadn’t agreed to reduce the charges and give him and Nick probation, if Tobias had been separated from his daughter any longer…
Well, he owed Jillian more than his life. Because just as Nick had predicted, her report had changed public opinion—and the judge’s—back to his favor.
“I just had to make sure…it was you,” Tabitha admitted with a shaky little sigh of relief.
Pain clenched his heart. He hated when she looked at him with such doubt and fear. But, like Jillian, it usually only took her a moment to realize who he was.
“It’s me,” he promised, pressing another kiss to the top of her head.
“Jilly!” she squealed as she gestured toward the television screen. “It’s Jilly.”
She’d been asking to see the reporter ever since he’d picked up the little girl from social services. “Yes, it’s Jillian.”