by Kristi Gold
She left Raf in the barn tacking up Maurice for the lesson while she made the call home in the upstairs apartment. She barely got out a greeting before her mother started in.
"Imogene, are you okay?"
"Yes, Mom, I'm fine. What's wrong?"
"My God, I thought you'd been kidnapped. I heard the phone pick up and then you shouted. I was imagining all sorts of things."
Miranda Danforth couldn't begin to imagine what had really been happening between her daughter and the sheikh. "I'm sorry, Mom. Raf kind of took the phone from me and tossed it aside. Sid had just called for about the hundredth time and Raf was getting a little put-out over the interruptions."
"Oh, honey, I didn't mean to interrupt."
"We hadn't really gotten started yet." Darn it. "Did you need something important?"
"Actually, I wanted to remind you of Reid and Tina's wedding on Saturday."
"I remember." In truth, Imogene had forgotten it happened to be this particular weekend.
"We're holding the reception at Crofthaven and I'm overseeing the arrangements. I could use your help."
"Surely Uncle Abraham hired a caterer. After all, it is his son's wedding."
"Of course, but you know how that goes. Someone needs to make certain everything's done correctly. And besides, I've been like a mother to Reid. I want everything to be perfect for him."
In her rational mind, Imogene understood how much this meant to her mother and to Reid, who had lost his own mother in an automobile accident years ago. Since that time, her parents had served as surrogates to Reid and his siblings. In fact, Uncle Abraham's children had been closer to Imogene's parents than their own father, at least until recently.
Imogene couldn't resent her mom and dad for being so loving. And she couldn't let her mother down. "Okay, Mom, I have to come in to work tomorrow, anyway, so I'll be there to help you out."
"You're such a sweetheart for doing this, Imogene. I really appreciate it. I'll see you on Saturday and I'll give you a big hug."
The sincerity in her mother's voice and knowing she had pleased her almost made the chore worthwhile for Imogene. Almost. In her heart she knew that when she returned to Savannah, she wouldn't have the opportunity to come back to the stables, or to Raf, at least not for a while.
She sensed Raf would require more of her time than she had to give if they decided to pursue their relationship beyond this weekend. To do anything less would be unfair to him. Of course, he hadn't even hinted at that, so she had nothing to worry about at all. Except for the fact that she was totally, unequivocally in love with him.
* * *
"Is she the one, Rafi?"
Raf paused with his hand on the saddle's girth strap, shocked by Ali's query. He opted for ignorance instead of providing an answer. "I assume you are referring to the filly. I believe she will serve as evidence of BáHar's abilities to reproduce."
"I am referring to Ms. Danforth, as you well know. Is she a diversion, or is she quite possibly the woman you have chosen to save you from this meaningless existence you have made for yourself?"
"I do not understand why you have assumed such a thing."
"I've suspected for some time now that you and Ms. Danforth are not simply teacher and student. What I witnessed earlier has confirmed that fact."
Raf cinched the saddle tightly, then loosened it somewhat for Maurice's sake. "I trust that what you witnessed earlier will go no further than this conversation."
"You know you do not have to question my loyalty. And you have yet to answer my question. Will she be staying longer than first assumed?"
"Ms. Danforth will be leaving tomorrow and will return on Saturday. Beyond that, we have no immediate plans for the future. And that is the end of this conversation."
Raf dropped the bridle twice while trying to slip it into Maurice's mouth. He muttered an oath under his breath.
"Do you wish me to assist you, Rafi?"
Raf looked up to see Ali still scrutinizing him. "I do not require your assistance. I could do this in my sleep."
Ali rubbed his bearded chin, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "I fear that is what you are trying to do now. Did you not sleep last night?"
Raf did not appreciate his friend's continued prodding. "I am rested. Thank you for your concern."
Ali leaned back against the stall, arms folded across his chest, looking very much like a stern father. "Will you have Ms. Danforth canter today?"
Raf cinched the saddle's girth. "Not yet. She is not quite ready."
"Are you certain? Since she has such a short while before she departs, I would think you might wish to accelerate her lessons."
"I will determine when she will move to the next step."
"Are you being overly cautious because of past experience? Or are you attempting to prolong her time here?"
Normally Raf would not resent Ali's queries. After all, the man was a good friend. Yet today he did not have the patience nor did he want to be reminded of past failures. "I would prefer to err on the side of caution, and I do not wish to discuss the matter further."
"You care greatly for her," Ali stated. "More than you are willing to acknowledge."
Raf turned from the gelding and leveled his gaze on Ali, who seemed determined not to give up. "You are imagining things, old man."
"I am not so old that I cannot recognize when a man is completely enchanted with a woman. And you are, my friend."
"Believe what you will."
Ali approached Raf and laid a hand on his shoulder. "When your father lost your mother, he did not stop living. He would not be pleased to know that you have chosen that path."
Raf shook off his hand. "Look around you. I am living quite well."
"Yet you have no one to share in your life."
"My father did not see the need to do that after my mother's death."
"He had you and Darin, and he also had a long-time mistress, the same lover until his death."
"I am aware of that, but I do not understand the point of this conversation, unless you are saying I should have Ms. Danforth as my mistress."
"I am not saying that. She deserves to be more than your mistress."
Raf remained silent, fearing that if he said anything else, he would surely give his feelings for Genie away. As much as he wanted to believe that Genie could become a permanent part of his life, he could not trust that she would want the same. That she would have room for him in her life. He would not want to interfere in her goals, and should he decide to commit to a woman, he did not want to be an afterthought. A diversion.
"As I have said repeatedly, I have no intention of becoming seriously involved with anyone at present." He sounded more convinced than he felt.
When Ali cleared his throat and nodded, Raf looked to his left to see Genie standing in the aisle not more than a few feet away. He had no idea how much of the conversation she had heard although she did not appear to be distressed. Perhaps she was even relieved to know he did not view their liaison as a permanent relationship. At least that was the impression he'd wanted to give. In truth, he wanted much more from her.
Ali took his leave when Genie approached and gave Maurice a pat on his neck. "Are we ready for the lesson?"
"We are," Raf said. "Was your mother well?"
"Sure. She needed to remind me of my cousin's wedding Saturday. I promised to help her with the reception."
Disappointment weighed heavily on Raf's heart, but he covered it with an cool expression. "Then you will not be returning on Saturday?"
"I won't have time."
"And the week after?"
She looked away. "I have to go back to work, so I guess we'd better get to work on my riding skills." She brought her attention to him again. "I'm ready for the next step."
"You cannot learn how to canter in one lesson."
"I'll just have to do the best that I can. Maybe I can come back a couple of times to practice before I have to impress the Granthams."
"I'm not asking for any promises from you."
A lengthy silence ensued before Raf finally said, "Then we are agreed. No promises." That sealed his beliefs about his relationship with Genie and where it would not lead. She wanted nothing more than his expertise. Their time together had been nothing more than a means to pass the time. Her life could not include a lengthy relationship with him.
With Genie hanging back a few steps, he led Maurice into the arena where Ali waited, as he'd requested the last few lessons. Although he did not need his friend's attendance, he felt it wise to have him there, to correct any mistakes Genie might make due to Raf's continued lack of concentration in her presence.
All three entered the arena, and Genie mounted the gelding without Raf's help. He had to acknowledge that she had come a long way in a very short time. But was she ready to canter?
"Perhaps I should utilize the longe line," he told Ali.
"She will manage alone. I have already shown her how to cue the correct lead and how to sit the horse."
"When?"
"In your absence. She is prepared for this."
Raf summoned his resolve to keep his temper in check. Again he felt as if he had been cast off regarding her instruction. Yet he had to recognize that Ali was an expert rider and teacher. That still did nothing to quell Raf's displeasure, or his guardedness where Genie's safety was concerned. It would not be beneficial for her if she sensed his wariness.
For that reason he told Ali, "I will allow you to take it from here."
Ali's dark brows drew down. "Are you certain?"
"Yes. I will stand by the gate to observe."
Before Ali could protest, Raf strode to the far side of the arena near the gate to watch as Ali instructed Genie to walk, then trot, and finally, to canter, while Raf sent up a silent prayer for her safety.
Raf was amazed at how easily she had taken the gait, how well she sat the horse as Maurice cantered around the arena. Her pride came out in a smile as she passed by him—a smile that Raf would long remember, even after she left him for good.
Genie made the rounds twice more with confidence, proving to Raf he had been wrong about her skills. She was a natural—at riding and at lovemaking. His concerns began to drift away as he took in the beauty of the sight … until the unthinkable happened.
A strong wind tossed around dirt and debris in the arena, bringing with it a plastic sack that landed in the path of horse and rider. Maurice, who rarely balked at anything, chose that moment to forget his training and rear up, tossing Genie to one side. She tried to right herself but to no avail. In a tangle of limbs, clawing the air on her descent, she fell into a cloud of dust.
And Raf Shakir faced his past, his greatest fear, once more.
* * *
Nine
« ^ »
A perfect three-point landing on her butt.
Imogene tested all her limbs. No damage done, as far as she could tell. She dusted off the front of her blouse and pants, but unfortunately she couldn't remove the dust from her nose, the reason why she sneezed several times. She wiped her teary eyes with the back of her hand, clearing her vision enough to see Raf crouched beside her, his eyes reflecting concern and something that looked a great deal like fear.
"Are you injured?" he asked.
She attempted a weak smile despite her momentary alarm. "I'm okay. Just a little rattled. It happened so fast I couldn't quite right myself. I tried."
Ali returned her smile when Raf didn't. "You recovered well."
Raf eyed her with suspicion. "Are you certain you are not in pain?"
"Nothing's hurt, except maybe my pride." And her feelings over his harsh tone.
"Regardless, I should call a doctor," Raf said.
"That's not necessary." She hopped to her feet and swiped her hands over her bottom in order to prove to Raf she was A-okay. He didn't seem at all pleased by that when he straightened, his hands fisted at his sides.
Imogene scanned the arena to find the gelding trying to stick his head through the fencing to pilfer a few random pieces of grass. "Looks like Maurice is none the worse for wear."
"He is fine," Ali said. "I am surprised the bag caused him to bolt. Normally he is very steady."
Imogene wiped her hands on her thighs. "Guess you can't blame him. I doubt he's ever been shopping in a superstore before."
Ali's grin deepened. "Perhaps I should hang a few bags in his stall so that he will grow accustomed to them."
"I'm sure that will be fine with him, as long as you fill them with candy."
Imogene and Ali shared a laugh while Raf stood silently by, his lips forming a grim line. "I believe you have had enough for the day," he said, his tone again severe, as if he blamed her for the little mishap.
"I want to get back on him and try again," she said.
Raf's eyes narrowed with anger. "Impossible."
Imogene decided to stand her ground now that it was firmly planted beneath her feet. "No, it's not. I might not know much about horses, but I do know you're supposed to get back on after a fall. Right, Ali?"
Although Ali looked uncomfortable, he nodded. "That is correct."
Raf glared at Ali, then at Imogene. "I do not want to be responsible for any injury that might occur. As I have said, you are not ready."
She braced her hands on her hips, "I'm more than ready, and you know it. And I'm not going to hold you responsible. I'm a big girl and I make my own decisions."
"I will not be a party to it."
"You don't have to. Ali can stay while I make a few more rounds."
Raf's gaze snapped to Ali. "He will not agree."
Ali rubbed a hand over his bearded chin. "Ms. Danforth is aware of the risk, as are you, Rafi. She should continue the lesson."
Without another word, Raf turned away and stormed out of the arena, mounted BáHar and took off at a run toward the river. Imogene would allow him time to cool off before she had her say. Later she would attempt to make him understand that although she appreciated his concern for her, it was unwarranted. She could master this whole riding thing, and in the process she would make him proud, whether he admitted it or not.
Imogene readjusted the chin strap on the black velvet hard hat. "Thanks for doing this, Ali. I hope this doesn't get you into too much trouble."
"I am not concerned about the repercussions of assisting you. Once he has some time to think, he will recognize that we have done the right thing."
"I don't understand why he was so upset. Surely he's had other students who've taken a tumble. In fact, he's probably taken a few himself."
"That is true, but he is recalling one particular student."
As Imogene had suspected, Raf's caution was personal. "A student who got hurt during the course of a lesson?"
"Not only a student. His wife."
Just as Imogene's pulse had begun to return to normal, it shot to life again over the revelation. "His wife was hurt?"
"While Sheikh Shakir looked on."
Imogene was suddenly aware that all her questions about Raf could soon be answered. Even more aware that the severity of his turmoil might be greater than she'd ever envisioned. "Oh, God. How bad was it?"
Ali again looked somewhat disconcerted. "What I tell you now might be deemed a lapse in loyalty to a man whom I consider a friend. Yet I tell you out of concern for Rafi and so that you will understand his behavior."
The lesson forgotten, Imogene followed Ali to the edge of the arena, leaned against the fencing and prepared to learn what she'd longed to know for days. But she couldn't have been prepared for what Ali told her.
His calm tone belied the tumult that had been Raf Shakir's past—a man who had married a young woman for only a brief time before an equestrian accident had claimed her life. Although Ali did not give much information beyond that, Imogene didn't require the gritty details to know that Raf had suffered a tremendous loss and an ove
rriding guilt because he'd believed he was at fault. He still suffered from that guilt and loss.
And to think Imogene had believed his wife had left him, or vice versa. How could she not have known his problems ran so much deeper than that? And why had everyone been so evasive with those details, especially Doris? Plain and simple, they had been trying to protect him. But Imogene knew all too well that no matter how cautious a person might be, protecting a loved one from misfortune wasn't always possible.
In that moment, when she finally understood the trouble that followed Raf, the realization that she, too, had buried herself in her own guilt hit home. She couldn't have protected Tori from everything, and Raf couldn't have foreseen what would happen to his wife after he'd been so diligent in his teaching. Despite their differences, in many ways she and Raf were the same.
She would climb back on the horse, finish her lesson and regain her confidence. But she didn't feel at all confident over the confrontation she would soon have with Raf. She didn't know what she would say to him. She did know that she couldn't leave here tomorrow until she made things right between them, even if the possibility of making things work had shattered when she'd learned that quite possibly she had been merely a replacement for a woman he still loved. As much as Imogene cared for him, she could never accept that role.
All for the best, she supposed. Her life was too demanding. She had too much to do, too many places to see, a career to build. Then why did she feel as if none of that really mattered anymore?
Because it was beginning not to matter. Her feelings for Raf had clouded her judgment and confused her. Still, he loved someone else, so the point was moot.
They did have this one last night together, and she would carry that with her always—if she could convince Raf to cooperate. She wanted to spend the night making love with him, and she planned to do that very thing, but this time on her terms.