by Nicole Hart
As I touched his arm, I watched his body relax and an involuntary smile crossed my lips, which he reciprocated. I let out a shaky breath and felt the urge to wrap my arms around him. I didn’t, but fighting the desire wasn’t easy, and it was so unexpected. There was just something comforting about him I couldn’t put my finger on. Maybe it was his size that just reminded me of a big teddy bear. Maybe it was the way his arms looked like they could swallow me up in protection, and in fact, they had. Maybe it was his mesmerizing eyes. Whatever it was, I liked the feeling he gave me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an older woman stumbling in my direction. She was unsteady on her feet and seemed like she might collapse at any moment. As she approached, I noticed her glassy stare extend beyond me. She fell into me as she grabbed onto the bar top to catch her balance while Logan stood to his feet, holding his arm out. I wasn’t sure if it was to catch her in case she fell or to keep her away from me, but his attention brought on a warm fuzzy feeling that extended way down deep into the pit of my stomach.
“Sorry,” she slurred, unable to make eye contact with me as she tried to focus on the woman behind the bar.
“It’s okay,” I mumbled, my attention drawn back to Logan.
“How about we go sit at a table, maybe where it’s a little less crowded.” He shook his head at the drunk woman and brushed his hand on the small of my back.
“Okay.” I hoped he knew I was capable of actual sentences. I grew frustrated with myself as we made our way to a table in the corner. I needed to relax.
“This is better.”
I smiled as we took our seats. Logan pulled my chair out for me, and my smile grew bigger.
“I was pretty surprised when you walked in here tonight.” He grinned as he took a seat across from me.
“You were?” I asked. I had assumed he didn’t remember our brief encounter and wasn’t sure about bringing it up.
“But I saw you came in with that dude, so I didn’t want to cause any problems.” His eyes drew downward as he picked nervously at the coaster sitting on the table.
“We’re not together,” I blurted out, needing him to know Brian wasn’t my boyfriend. I had spent so long trying to make him that, and in this moment, I was thankful he wasn’t.
“No?” He raised his eyebrow, those eyes, the color of an emerald ocean, cautiously regarded me.
“No,” I stated and then continued. Although I knew my rambling would come out wrong, I needed him to know. “I mean, we were together, but haven’t been for a long time…it’s complicated.” That last part was a lie—it wasn’t complicated. It was just embarrassing.
“What do you mean?” Logan asked, pulling my downcast eyes up to his line of sight. He didn’t even need to touch me to force me to look at him. His eyes drew me in. “I don’t mean to pry…I just want to make sure you’re okay. You shouldn’t stick with someone who acts like that toward you. Or puts his hands on you.” His posture stiffened once again, causing my hand to touch his, like a magnetic pull.
“I know, and tonight sealed that for me,” I admitted, and it was the absolute truth. I had been hit by a man before, and it wasn’t something I wanted any part of again. I grew up watching my father and my stepfather beat my mother. I refused to live a life of violence. I’d rather be alone because that was where I drew the line.
“You’re sure?” he questioned me.
“Completely.” That unintentional grin made another appearance. “I can’t believe I’m sitting here with you,” I admitted, shaking my head in disbelief.
“Maybe the city isn’t as big as everyone thinks.” He smiled, scratching the scruff on his face.
“Maybe,” I agreed, but thought maybe, just maybe, it was fate—as crazy as that sounded. “Can I admit something to you?” I asked, kicking myself for being so open with him. This wasn’t me.
“Shoot.”
“I spent the whole day yesterday wishing you had talked to me.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized how absolutely desperate it sounded, and I regretted every syllable. I watched the disappointment cross his face, and I knew I had said too much. I was about to scare this poor guy off in record time.
“I had kind of a rough day yesterday,” he said with a sigh, crossing his arms over his broad chest, and I noticed him squeeze his fingers against his biceps, his fingernails turning red from the pressure.
“No, I mean, it was dumb of me to expect a stranger on the street to talk to me,” I rambled, questioning everything that came out of my mouth, and this whole situation. I hated how self-conscious I was.
“Jess,” he interrupted me, leaning forward and wrapped his hand around both of mine folded on the table.
“Yeah.” The sound of my mousy voice made me want to scream.
“I spent the day wishing the same thing,” he admitted, with that crooked grin of his exposing perfectly white teeth.
“You did?” Now I was the one questioning his words.
He didn’t answer, he just nodded and winked at me, followed by the crooked grin.
And if I had ever doubted the feeling, I knew it in this moment. The man with the postcard eyes just made me swoon.
Hard.
Chapter Eight
I crawled into bed a little after midnight, and my head was spinning. Logan’s face was etched into my memory, and his words replayed over and over. We talked for hours, and it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist, even in a crowded bar. I learned the man behind the bar was his brother, Gage, and the woman he couldn’t take his eyes off was his girlfriend. They were in a new relationship and were so crazy in love, neither one of them could see straight. The affection that showed in the way Logan spoke of his brother was endearing. I longed for that type of familial relationship.
I didn’t let my mind wander down that path, though. My night had been too good to ruin it with thoughts and memories of my past.
But my present decided to make a roaring appearance as my phone rang. The noise startled me. No one ever called me unless I was being asked to come in to work, but it was too late—or early—for any of that. I rummaged through my purse to find my phone I’d haphazardly shoved in there.
Brian.
It was late, and I wasn’t ready to deal with him. I declined the call, but it started to immediately ring again. I didn’t want to answer. He took it too far tonight, and I was ready to let him go. Regardless of whether this thing with Logan went anywhere, I would rather be alone than with someone who had the potential to hurt me physically.
And I wasn’t even sad about it—this was way overdue. Although, I would be lying if I said meeting Logan didn’t give me the last push I needed.
The ringing continued, and I wondered if maybe Brian was in trouble or if something was wrong. He never actually called, text yes, phone conversation, no. And although I was ready to give up the possibility of an actual relationship with him, I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. Reluctantly, I accepted the next call.
“Hello?” I muttered, faking as if I were sleeping.
“What the fuck, Jess?” he spat into my ear.
“What do you want, Brian?”
“I want to know who the fuck that was in the bar!” His voice hissed, and there was a little slur in his words.
“What are you talking about?” Playing dumb was the best option right now. Besides, he didn’t need to know anything about Logan.
“The dickhead that sucker punched me and then got me thrown out of the bar!” He almost made me laugh out loud. He wasn’t sucker punched, he got his ass beat.
“It was the bouncer, Brian. You put your hands on me!” I replied with my own hiss, not wanting to draw any attention to the situation since Braxton was asleep in the next room.
“Always so fucking dramatic.” His slur was more prominent now.
“I’m hanging up now,” I groaned into the receiver.
“I’m sorry, Jess.” His attitude did a complete turnaround in a matter of seconds.
/> I wasn’t falling for this. Not this time.
“Go to sleep, Brian,” I muttered, completely over him and this conversation.
“Jess, please, come over.”
“No.” It was the one word I always had a problem saying to him. But I was finished playing his games.
Done.
“Jess, don’t do this. I need you.”
Games. Games. Games.
“No, you don’t, Brian. Whatever it is we’ve been doing—I’m through. You don’t want me, you just want what I give you. Find it somewhere else.” The words came flowing from my mouth without thought.
“I’m not fucking around with you, Jess. You either come over right now or it’s over. Forever.” He hoped to hook me with his threat. But I wasn’t biting.
“I’m hanging up,” I said, standing my ground.
“Are you serious, Jess?” His anger was ready to bubble over; I felt it.
“Completely.”
“You’re a fucking worthless cunt, Jessica. No one will want you. You’re fucking up, I hope you—”
I ended the call, refusing to listen to another word.
A single tear fell down my cheek, and I brushed it away in haste. I refused to cry over him. I refused to let his words affect me anymore. I hated the way I had allowed him to belittle me for so long.
After tossing and turning for several long minutes, I decided to crawl out of bed and went into the living room. A small part of me was fearful Brian would show up at my door for whatever reason, whether it be for a last-ditch attempt at a booty call or to finish what he started to do in the bar.
I grabbed a glass of water and flopped down on the worn sofa, flipping the TV on but keeping the volume low.
Braxton’s bedroom door opened slowly, and she peeked her head out, her hair in a top-knotted mess, and her eyes squinting from the light.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” I gave her an apologetic smile.
“Are you okay?” she asked, and I had to admit I was a little surprised by her concern.
“Just Brian…he’s a jerk,” I muttered and shook my head, refusing to let another tear over him fall from my eyes.
“Well, thank God. Did you finally see the light?” She opened her door completely, revealing her matching tank and boy shorts. She always had the cutest clothes, thanks to her parents.
“Yeah, I’m done,” I said very matter-of-factly.
“Like done, done?” Her approval spread across her face in a bright smile.
“Like done, done,” I repeated.
“Well then, let’s celebrate!” She skipped into the kitchen and dug through the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of wine and a Tupperware bowl of who knows what. She threw the bowl into the microwave, and I heard glasses clanking. The aroma of the food billowing from the microwave caused my stomach to growl.
“What is that delicious smell?” I asked, hopping off the sofa and following the heavenly scent.
“Wait!” She became stiff as a board and lifted her eyes to me. “You’re hungry?” She cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Starving,” I whispered with a tiny grin.
“It’s chicken alfredo, and it’s delicious.” She beamed, obviously proud of her creation.
“Smells like it.”
She started to scoop the food into the bowls as I grabbed forks from the drawer. I looked up and caught her staring at me intently.
“What?” I whispered, suddenly self-conscious.
“I need details,” she demanded.
“He’s just a jerk. I can’t deal with him anymore,” I pronounced.
“Nope, not the douchebag. There’s more. I can see it all over you. Spill!” She grinned, nudging me as she walked into the living room with her food and glass of wine. I followed behind her but was unsure what to say.
I didn’t know Logan that well and didn’t even know if this would go anywhere. Although, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope it did. I didn’t know if a one-night conversation even counted as something to talk about. Not to mention, Braxton and I hadn’t talked very much lately. We had been roommates for years, but I wasn’t even sure if we were good friends. But maybe that was just the kind of person I was, worried I wasn’t worthy of someone’s time to actually be considered a friend, and that’s why I never put much stock in our relationship.
“Don’t get quiet, Jess. Talk to me!” She smiled as she crossed her legs, facing me and staring instead of diving into her food.
Maybe I was wrong about her. Maybe I had been wrong about a lot of things. Nancy always told me I didn’t give myself enough credit, and I needed to work on letting people in. That hadn’t come easy for me. It was time to try it out, on a trial basis at least.
“His name is Logan,” I whispered, staring at the bowl of pasta and biting my bottom lip to keep from grinning like an idiot at the mention of his name.
Chapter Nine
“Look at you, honey!” Nancy grinned as she scurried past me, brushing her salt and pepper hair from her eyes.
“What about me?” I asked, giving her a side glance. I looked down at the ten-dollar bill left for me on the table and shoved it in my apron with a grin. I continued to stack the plates and glasses on my tray as I waited for Nancy to answer my question.
“You’re glowing!” She sauntered in my direction and patted my cheek with her soft hand while she stood in front of me.
“That’s sweat,” I joked. “We’ve been swamped.”
“You don’t have enough meat on your bones for this stuff to make you sweat, Jess.” Her teasing echoed in the diner that had finally slowed down a little after the lunch rush.
“Just in a good mood, I guess.” I shrugged, moving past her to take the dishes to the kitchen.
“Glad to hear that!” I heard her yell behind me before the bell on the door rang, announcing more customers’ arrival.
My phone rang in my pocket, startling me. The only people who ever called me were here. I pulled it out and butterflies started flailing in my stomach as I stared at the screen.
Logan.
My hands shook, and my mouth watered. I couldn’t imagine why I suddenly felt the urge to vomit, but in a good way. It wasn’t possible to suppress the smile that spread across my face.
“Smiling that big won’t answer the call, Jess. You have to push the button.” Hector, the day cook, chuckled as he loaded a plate with a cheeseburger.
I rolled my eyes at him, still grinning and accepted the call as I made my way into the employee bathroom, closing the door behind me before speaking.
“H-hello?” I stammered, pressing the palm of my hand against my forehead, aggravated that simply seeing his name made me lose my common sense and ability to speak. I walked in circles in the tiny stall, staring at my feet.
“Jess?” Oh Lord, sweet mother of baby Jesus. He had the sexiest, raspiest phone voice I’d ever heard in my life. Ever.
“Logan, hi.” My voice came out squeaky, and all I could do was shake my head.
“Are you busy? I know you’re working today.” My hand went from my forehead to my chest, my heart pounding. It wasn’t a big deal to most people, but the fact that he took an interest in the things I had to say and actually retained it meant a lot to me.
“It’s my break time. How are you?” I impressed myself with my ability to finally form a coherent sentence.
“I’m good. How’s your day going?”
“Um, it’s good,” I replied with the biggest smile I think I’d ever worn.
“Listen, I was hoping I could see you tonight. If you feel like it after work.” His deep voice caused goose bumps all over my arms.
“Um, sure. Do you want me to come by the bar?”
“Actually, I want to take you out,” he said with a slight cough.
“Like a date?” I tried not to jump up and down like a school girl.
“Yeah, like a date,” he answered with a chuckle, and I bit my lip to keep from getting the giggles. “If you want,” he mumbled, seeming
a little put off by my response.
“Oh, I do.” I probably sounded a little too excited, but I didn’t care. I was excited. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt enthusiastic.
“All right then.” His deep drawl with that accent I now knew was Cajun almost caused me to shiver.
“I’m supposed to get out of here at five, but sometimes my shift runs late. Can I text you when I’m off?” I stared into the mirror and realized I needed to wash my hair and try not to panic about something to wear.
“Just call me instead. I’d rather hear your voice,” he answered, and his words almost made me melt.
“Oh, okay,” I squeaked.
“I’m kind of old school,” he said with a laugh.
“Well, I like the way you are.” I shook my head with embarrassment.
“Talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay, bye, Logan.” His name rolled off my lips with ease.
“Bye, Jess,” he replied, and the call ended, although I stood there, in shock, with the phone still placed at my ear.
“Do I have a date?” I mumbled to myself. “A real date?” I hopped up and down a few times, my anticipation getting the best of me, before I shoved my phone into my pocket and opened the bathroom door, trying to remain calm.
“I have a date,” I whispered to Nancy as I walked past her. I had to tell someone. I had to. It was either tell Nancy, or Hector. And I had the feeling Hector wouldn’t really care as much as Nancy.
“I knew there was a reason for the glow today!”
I turned my head and whispered over my shoulder, “I can’t help it.”
“It’s okay to be happy, honey.” She chuckled before whizzing past me to take a customer’s order.
I knew I still had a couple of hours left of work, so I had to get back to it.
But I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face for the rest of my shift.
Chapter Ten