by Pope, M. T.
I blinked back tears as I went over a pivotal point in my life. I was like seven or eight when “it” happened.
I was in my room playing like I usually do. My momma was passed out on the couch like she usually was after she had her fill of liquor. So was my uncle John.
I had no friends to play with and my sister was over a friend’s house spending the night. I was all alone in my room. So I thought.
“You look so good,” I told myself as I looked in the floor-length mirror on my wall next to my dresser. I had on an old dress of my sister’s. It was pink with small silky-type flowers on it and it had ruffles on the sleeves and the bottom. I had some of her clips and her hair extensions in my hair. I was the big girl my sister was, in the mirror, that day. I twirled and twirled. I was singing Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” into a hairbrush like I was a professional.
I was interrupted by a clapping of hands. I had an audience I didn’t know about. I was completely caught off guard. I froze like an Eskimo.
“You really look good.” He smiled a mischievous grin.
“Th—thanks.” My voice quivered and shook. He was looking at me like I looked at a happy meal that had just been placed in front of me. I didn’t know that my life would be changed forever after this day. He walked in and sat on my bed.
“Can you sing it for me again?” he asked so nicely. I didn’t know what was going on. I felt it was wrong, but he was my uncle so I figured it was okay. I trusted him. He was always so nice to me. “You look so good doing it.”
I obliged and began my childish rendition of the adult song. I did all the dance moves in the video as best I could. He smiled the whole time. When I finished, I sat down beside him on the bed. I felt ashamed, like what I was doing was wrong: Dancing in front of a grown man.
“That dress really fits you.”
“It’s my sister’s old dress.” I was a little big for my age and it fit snugly. “I was going to put it back when I finished.” I lied. I had taken the dress from an old box in the basement and tucked it in the back of my closet for safekeeping.
“Don’t worry, it will be our little secret,” he reassured me.
“Okay,” I said as meekly as I could. On the inside I was ecstatic that I could keep what I found. In exchange my uncle would ask me to let him “do things.” I felt it was wrong, but I did it to continue to get to do stuff I like doing. That shit fucked me up for life. Because pretty soon he would make sure my mother stayed liquored up and then he and I would be free to “play around.” Me wanting to be a big girl turned into me being a full- fledged woman. I was doing all the things that a child should never do. He started making demands that I now know was molestation. I felt it was my fault that it escalated to the point of no return, so I never said a thing.
That is until later on in high school when things escalated and me and my mom would get into it about my life. She thought I was headed down the wrong road and I felt like it was what I wanted to do. In the end, I just did me and she accepted it. The fact that I told her that her drinking and bingeing and not paying attention to what company she had in her house, namely, Uncle John, didn’t hurt either. She was so overdone with guilt that she kept quiet most of the time. It wasn’t completely her fault, but it wasn’t completely mines either. Me prancing around the house like I was at a young age in front of John didn’t help either. I was a little extra with it. I see it so clearly now. I was a willing participant. I blamed others for something that I already wanted. I was flawed mentally way before John entered the picture.
“Dammit!” I punched my pillow. “It’s too late to say I’m sorry. It‘s too late for me to take back the blame.”
Chapter 30
David
Sob Story
May 17th 3:04 P.M.
I sat in my home office, confused by today’s events at the funeral. My wife wasn’t herself today at all. I mean I know we all express grief differently, but she went all the way off and then some. The sad thing is I was glad that she had jumped on John at the funeral, because he was making me a nervous wreck. I just needed to know why she did it. It had to be something strenuous for her to attack him at her mother’s funeral.
I pulled out the gun that I had in my waistband and put it on my desk. I had carried it with me to the funeral, because I just couldn’t be sure if John was following me or not. I made a mental note to carry it everywhere I went now, after seeing him at the funeral. I was dumbfounded at the fact that he had showed up at my wife’s mother’s funeral. I wondered how they were connected.
My mind was racing a mile a minute. My phone started ringing.
“Hello,” I answered still puzzled.
“Who was that bitch that jumped me at the funeral? Your wife?”
“Ahhh ... yeah ... why?”
“Because that bitch whipped my ass and don’t know who the hell she was or what I did to her. But I tell you what. Her ass fights like a man.” He laughed. “I haven’t had my ass whipped like that since I was a boy. You ain’t got nothing to worry about when I come to her protecting your soft ass.” He laughed again. “You gots you a good- ass fighter on ya hands.”
“Yeah,” was all I could manage get out. I was glancing through my wife’s mother’s obituary and something had caught my attention and I couldn’t really pay attention to what he was saying. “I—I gotta call you back.” I hung up the phone without getting a response from him. I didn’t need one.
I walked up to our bedroom with the obituary in hand.
“Babe... . babe ...” I shook my wife lightly so I wouldn’t startle her.
“Huh? ... huh?” She rolled over. Her eyes were swollen and red. I figured it was from all that crying she did at the funeral. “What’s wrong?” She must have seen the puzzled look on my face.
“I was reading the obituary and I didn’t see your name. All I saw was your sister’s name and a Thomas Jones. Who is that? You never mentioned you had a brother.”
I was looking at her intensely. She stared back at me for a few seconds. Her eyes began to water and then a couple of tears fell down her cheeks.
“It’s my deceased brother... he died when I was eight. A car accident. He ran out into the street and got hit by a car. He was instantly killed.” She cried harder now.
“So why wasn’t your name mentioned?” I asked. “Well, my mom never forgave me for it. That’s why I haven’t been to see her as much as I should and why I kept you away from my family. It was too hard to bear. She practically cut me out of her life and she instructed my aunt not to put me in the obituary since I let her only son die. I was supposed to be watching him, but I was doing what I wanted to and let him run into the street.”
“I—I’m sorry.” I felt a tear run down my face as I got up off the bed. “Go back to bed. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
I wandered back downstairs feeling really low. I was sorry I brought up such a painful memory like the one she just told me about.
Chapter 31
Ashley
Caught Up
May 23rd 9:30 A.M.
“Ashley, where are you going?” I heard Alex ask me as I was headed to the door. I turned around to see him standing in the doorway of his room with a smirk on his face.
“I’m going to hang out with a couple of my friends.” I smiled as I continued my way toward the door.
“Be careful out there. And be good.”
I looked back toward him. “I’ve always been good. I got this ... remember that.” I boasted.
He shook his head and went back into his room. I laughed, threw on my shades and left apartment. I hopped in my car and made a beeline toward Ebony’s place. While driving, I thought to myself.
I got to leave Grace alone for a minute. That situation is weirder than most; almost unheard of in most settings. But, it was real, so I took advantage. I was that bitch that did things most would shy at doing. This crazy-bitch thing is taking its toll on me. It was getting to me. I really had some issues that I nee
d to get help for. No joke. A sister was warped I tell you. I wasn’t totally gone, but a bitch had her moments of insanity. I believe everyone does from time to time. It was just that my shit was on blastoff for longer periods of time than normal.
I pulled up to Ebony’s apartment and watched as she ran out of the house and straight toward my car.
“Whef!” She blew out a tired breath as she hopped in my car. “I hate doing this behind my man’s back and in front of the lord.” She buckled her seat belt as I pulled off.
“Okay,” I nonchalantly said.
“I had to tell him I was going to choir rehearsal. I don’t like lying to him.” I saw a tear slide down her face.
I was stopped at a light so I looked at her and said, “Well it’s partially true ... You would want to make sing tonight when we getting down tonight.” I laughed. She didn’t find it funny.
“So where are we going?” she asked with her hands folded on her chest and her mouth twisted.
“Don’t worry about that. You’ll know when we get there.”
I was all giddy and ready to have a very good time.
After about twenty minutes of driving, I pulled up to my destination with a huge smile on my face. It was a detached Victorian-style house. I wondered how homegirl could afford all of this but I was one who minded my business.
“Let’s go.” I looked over at Ebony whose mouth was still twisted. “I’ma need you to get your shit together while we in here. Don’t be fucking up my mood. Feel me?”
“Yeah ... okay.” She opened her door and got out. I did the same.
We walked up to the door and I called Monique so she came to the door and let us in.
“We’re here.” I dialed the number and ended the call all in a few seconds.
The door swung open and Monique stood before us in a sheer negligee. Everything was hanging out: titties and ass. I looked over at Ebony and her mouth was open just as much as mine.
“Come in, ladies.” Monique turned and sashayed down a small corridor and then turned toward us as we walked in and closed the door. There was some music playing but I didn’t know who it was. It was soft and sensual though.
“What’s going on?” Ebony leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Why are we here?”
“Bitch, you about to get fucked up if you don’t stop asking questions,” I spoke out of the side of my mouth and made it look like I was being seductive to Monique. I wanted to bang Ebony in the side of her neck for asking so many damn questions. If she didn’t know by now that I was in control, I was going to have to cut her loose and let Monique step in her spot. Monique was the chick I met at the restaurant spot. I don’t know why Ebony didn’t recognize her, because she chewed me out about looking at her ass. She wouldn’t know I was looking if she wasn’t looking too, which made me think she was paying attention to her surroundings like she was supposed to be. I made a mental note to check her ass when I dropped her off later.
“Y’all ready?” Monique asked as she walked back by us and up some stairs. She had on high heels that made her calf muscles look fabulous. “Come on upstairs.”
We both did as we were told. I let Ebony go ahead of me. I didn’t want any surprises and shit. I wasn’t ready to get my ass beat or anything like that. If somebody had a head start if something popped off and it was going to be me. Pussy ain’t worth dying over.
Finally we walked down a small corridor and into a large room with a huge bed canopy bed with really thick beams. Everything in her room was pink: the carpet, pillows, comforter, paint, and window curtains ... everything. The bitch must have even dyed the muthafuckin’ cat pink too. Her fluffy ass scurried out the room, because she must have known that she was the only pussy that was not going to get fucked tonight. I shook my head at that mess. Some people take shit too far.
“Take yo shit off,” I turned and looked at Ebony who, shockingly, was all smiles. She was a weird-ass girl I tell you. I started to undress and Monique started to gyrate and swing around her bedpost like she was a secondhand stripper. I almost laughed when she slipped and fell off the bed and rolled on to the carpet, but I didn’t. She played it off by crawling on her hands and knees toward Ebony, who was naked by now, and she crawled up her body like she was a mountain and started to lick her body all over. Then she made her way up to her mouth and she started to tongue her down real good. My pussy was throbbing and twitching like a man’s dick. I looked over at the bed and saw a couple of dildos and vibrators all stretched out in an assorted variety. This bitch is a full- fledged freak! I picked one and pushed the others to the side. I spread my legs as far as they went and started to fuck myself with the dildo that had an electronic stimulator for your clit. It was a high- tech orgasm dynamo. Monique and Ebony were now on the floor in a sixty-nine position moaning and sucking like there was no tomorrow. You would have thought Ebony was unmarried and without a child the way she was sucking on Monique’s pussy and tits.
“Ahh ... ahhh ... ahhhhhh,” I moaned as the toy did its job in seconds and gave me the orgasm that made my legs go limp for a few seconds. I didn’t even notice that Monique and Ebony had gotten up off the floor and onto the bed where I was.
One was doing my tits and the other was sucking my womb. My moaning escalated as I drew near to another orgasm.
“Yes ... baby ... yesssss.” I hollered out in ecstasy. Monique got off the bed again and I watched her put on a strap-on dildo.
“Get on all fours,” she instructed Ebony. Ebony crawled over top of me and started kissing me on all fours while Monique positioned herself behind her. You knew when Monique had hit Ebony’s spot when her head flew back and she started to buck. I was still a little weak from the last orgasm, but I still managed to get one of Ebony double-D’s in my mouth and suck like I was breast-feeding. We were all moaning and Monique was fucking Ebony like she was a real man and Ebony was her bitch.
“Yeah ... yeah ... yeah ... yeah ... yeah ...” Ebony was stuck on repeat as Monique punished her. Ebony had started to kiss me again as she neared her climax. She climaxed then she collapsed on me. I rolled Ebony off of me, took the strap-on dildo from Monique and fucked her like she fucked Ebony a few seconds earlier. We all took turns on each for over two hours before Ebony and I ended up showering and leaving to go home.
“You have fun?” I asked as I pulled off toward the highway. She had that look on her face. The look I hated. Regret.
“It’s too late to be feeling sorry for what you have done now.” I shook my head. She was on the verge of messing up my day with her guilt. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Wellllll ...” She stammered. “Yeah, I did.”
A big smile came across my face. I didn’t let her know I was getting paid for letting Monique fuck her. Homegirl gave me three hundred dollars too. Ebony didn’t need to know all that though. She got something out of it anyway.
Twenty minutes later we pulled back up in front of her house.
“Can you give me one more orgasm before you leave?” she asked with pleading eyes.
“Baby girl, I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow.” I was tired and I did have classes in the morning.
“Pleaseeee,” she begged.
“Where are your son and husband?”
“He’s at work. He works nights at Wal-mart. My son is over my husband’s mom’s house.” Her eyes were pleading me to give in.
“All right, but just one and I’m gone.” A bitch’s job is never done, I thought to myself. I parked my car and we made our way toward her house. She opened her door and we walked in. All the lights were out but I followed her as we made our way to her living room.
She flicked on the light and sat down on the sofa. She unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down to her ankles. I went in for the pussy like it was a piece of watermelon.
“So this is what you call choir practice?” I heard a male voice say from behind us. We both jumped up and were staring down the barrel of a 9 mm gun.
“Ba—ba—baby ... What you doing home
?” she asked the dude, whom I assumed was her husband. I had only saw him one time and that was at a distance when he was picking her up from church. I did make sure I took a picture of his tags when he pulled off, so I could get the info I needed on him to move my plans to pimp her along. “I thought you were at work.”
“I ain’t fuckin’ another dude that’s for sure.” He mean-mugged me. I mugged him back. I had a lot of balls for a bitch that was staring down a gun. I was scared as shit on the inside though. I wasn’t ready to die just yet.
Baby, stop what you’re doing, because it’s not going to end well for you. The old lady’s voice popped into my head. Oh shit! I muttered to myself in fear.
“It’s not what you think.” Ebony tried to explain. I shook my head in disbelief.
“So this bitch wasn’t just up in between your legs licking your pussy?”
“I don’t love her. I love you,” she pleaded with her hands held out in front of her, stretched out toward him like she was trying to hug him. She must have forgotten that her pants were around her ankles, because she tried to step toward him and fell face-forward onto the floor. I shook my head again.
“Pull your shit up.” Her husband pulled her up to her feet with one hand and with the other hand he still had the gun pointed at me. I noticed he had a silencer on the end of it too. So if he did kill us no one would know he did it. “So you getting my moms to watch our son while you doing this chick?” he asked. I thought the question was rhetorical, but she still nodded yes.