by S. L. Giger
“Hey, it’s Alex.”
“I didn’t expect you to still be up,” I smiled.
“Oh, I’m a night owl. I hope it’s not too late for you either. I looked up the opening hours of The Wild Rover online and tried to figure out what time you might be off.”
“You did your research.” I sat down on my bed. Though I’ve never slept in it, it’s really comfortable to pile the pillows against the wall, and then cuddle into the blanket with my laptop on my knees. Much more agreeable than sitting at an office desk.
“I didn’t want to let the chance pass by to talk to you again. And to let you know that I was serious about dinner. Not that you might think it was just empty phrases.”
“I did not assume that, since you already put quite an effort into finding me.”
“Well, it was worth it.”
Silence. I liked the sound of his voice. It was deep but warm. Like the voice that would fit into the Sunday morning radio program. The one that makes you feel relaxed and happy while you are having your first coffee after a night with little sleep.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come back to the coffee shop. But things came up you know.” I trailed off.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He said, not possibly being able to know why I didn’t return.
“How did your survey turn out?” I asked to prolong the conversation.
“Good. It confirmed what the statistics are telling already, though.”
“What exactly are you studying?”
“Bio with a clear aim toward genetics. And you spend your whole free time working in an Irish pub.” He stated.
“No,” I laughed, "I need a life outside of that hole too. As much as I love it there, I'd go insane if I had to be there for ten hours every day.” I didn't want to tell him too much, but I didn't feel like lying either. “So, for the rest of the time when I’m not at uni, I am a bit on a self-discovery trip right now. Working on a few projects.”
“Kind of like me. I'm also working on a project." He said. "It’s for school, but if I find out something useful, I could get some financial aid toward my future tuitions. But I don't want to bore you with that now. How about that dinner?" He asked instead. "Do you like Italian food?”
We set a date for the following Wednesday. After the phone call, I sat on my bed and stared at the opposite wall. I realized that I had created quite a problem for myself by agreeing to dinner. Why didn’t I ask for just having drinks instead? My pretending not to eat strategies were still not very developed. I’d have to practice some more until then. At least I didn’t have to worry about him picking me up at home. Since his car was a write-off, he offered very apologetically that we could meet at the subway station. Yes, exceptionally, I joked.
A voice inside me told me that it was too big of a coincidence that it was him who crashed the car. Had I somehow created his attraction toward me with my powers without even knowing it? Yet, after today I knew more than ever, that I wanted to see him again. Somehow, he seemed a lot calmer and more in control of the situation than myself. I wanted to know more about this Alex. Above all, I wanted to feel this feeling again that I had whenever I was close to him. It's hard to define attraction with words or explain why it's there. But this was definitely the strongest attraction I have ever felt toward a guy.
Chapter 18
The days before my ‘date’ with Alex were pure torture. I wished I could turn the hands of time forward and make it Wednesday already. Unfortunately, that’s something we aren’t able to do. To take my mind off things paid Roisin a visit in NYC. I walked all the way to her apartment, taking a big detour. I gawked up at the skyscrapers, breathed in the smell of grass and BBQs in central park and wondered about the colorful but very short dresses the girls were wearing in Harlem. It was as if I had landed in a different country. Finally, I went back downtown and ran up to the fourteenth floor of Roisin’s building.
Roisin welcomed me with a warm hug. Her hair was tied into several small buns that were spread all over her head. She wanted to show me the rooftop terrace. Therefore, we hiked up another four stories. Through a small door, we stepped out onto the concrete roof. In Switzerland, you'd have a beautiful view over the whole city and a few green fields from the roof of such a high building. In NYC, it meant that you had a great view down on tiny yellow cabs and a few other buildings. Yet, you were still surrounded by many taller skyscrapers that were glistening against the sun. It was an amazing 360° view!
“You have to see this at night! I find the city even more beautiful when the billions of lights are competing with each other against the dark.” Roisin said.
Somebody had put a pavilion on the terrace under which there was a couch. We sat down on the couch, and I let my gaze wander some more. Like with most amazing sceneries, you discover more and more details the longer you look. Sometimes, the ones closest to you only at last. I noticed that there were a lot of pots with plants on the rooftop and somebody had decorated the safety fence with a chain of electrical lights. It was like a romantic garden and would make a great place for a picnic on the roof in the evening, or an outdoor party.
"So, how is life otherwise?" Roisin leaned back on the couch, spreading both her arms on the rest behind her.
"It's good." I debated whether I should tell her about Alex. If there was one person who knew about guys, it was Roisin.
"The guy who got trapped in his car the other day showed up at the pub, to thank me and invite me to dinner."
"You have a date." Roisin excitedly clapped her hands.
"I don't think it's a date. It's just dinner."
"Honey, it's never just dinner. He's a guy, and you are you. Wait, what does he look like?"
I felt myself blushing. How is that even possible, when there's no blood flow in your veins?
"Quite good. Like a football player." That sent a picture of him to my mind, as he was sitting in the pub and it made me want to be alone with him somewhere. I swallowed.
"Oh good. Then it's definitely a date. What are you going to wear? Because it's important -" She paused and looked at me more closely, "Nathalie, do you like this guy?"
"Why?" I swallowed again.
"You look like you have a fever." Roisin was amused.
I thought it might be good to tell her. Honestly, I was a bit afraid of myself about these sudden hot flashes toward a guy.
"Actually, it's a bit weird. I don't know this guy at all, but when I saw him the other day, there was a moment that I..." I trailed off to see if there is a good way of explanation but didn’t find any, "I just wanted to kiss him! I almost did it too." I breathed.
That got Roisin laughing and clapping again.
"Great! You know what that means?" She looked at me.
I raised my eyebrows while I was waiting for an answer.
"You are awakening. Your emotions are not in a state of ice anymore." She continued. "Don't worry; this is completely normal. We used our sex appeal to attract our 'victims.' But to make this convincing you have to express what you can offer him. Which is really good sex." Roisin prolonged the 'really.' It’s not as if I would know the difference. "And believe me, it is reeeally good, because since our sensors are so sharp, we feel a lot more intensely. Emotionally and physically." She paused again and gave me a meaningful look. "That's also why staying in control is a lot harder for us. Resist the urge. You cannot just jump on him."
I could see myself doing exactly that if these emotional waves continued in that way. For the first time in my life, I felt an actual desire to have sex. It was not about curiosity anymore. I truly wanted it.
"You most likely will find yourself attracted to other guys like that, too."
"Oh great," I mumbled. How would you be able to recognize any real feelings then, if this was our constant state of hunting mode? "So, that's why you…" I hesitated because I didn't want to crown her with a degrading female term, "don't settle?"
"Partially, yes. I also don't want to get too atta
ched to anyone. I've seen it before, too many times. Sooner or later, we are the ones who lose." Roisin had a sad expression on her face. "Because we don't die." She sat up straighter, and the energy came back into her body. "Anyway, while you are enjoying yourself in the meantime, do it safely. Know that although you can't get pregnant, you could get STD's. So, in other words, use condoms."
She talked about all this as if it was the most normal conversation in the world.
"Roisin, Christ. We haven't even had dinner yet. I'm not planning on jumping into bed with anybody right away." This day was getting too much for me.
"Well, I just wanted to tell you. Even your self-controlled highness might have an Achilles' heel somewhere."
"I already have enough of them. I don't need another one."
"It's not a bad thing. As long as you don't kill them." She laughed. "Just joking, don't look so shocked. Loosen up a bit, Nat", she clapped on my back.
I still had doubts on my mind. “But if the attraction is so strong, that he is constantly on my mind. I mean, I even see his face in my drinks and the water when I wash dishes." I gave a short laugh. "Is there some kind of trick to stop myself from ripping him apart if he’s actually in front of me?”
“Hold on, woah.” Roisin held one hand up. “How did you mean, that you see his face in your drinks?”
Her stern look made me believe that there would be more to this.
“At Prom, I held a glass of sparkling wine, and I clearly saw his face in my glass. I thought I was hallucinating. And once before, I saw him in dirty dishwater.”
I managed something I wouldn’t ever have thought possible; I rendered Roisin speechless for a moment.
“You received a puddle,” she whispered.
“A puddle?” I asked her questioningly.
She found her voice again. “This is the way the Orbiters communicate with us. You remember the Orbiters, the law enforcement patrol of the supernatural world? They only get in touch with you if it’s important. Either if you disregarded the rules and they make you disappear; or, if they need to send you a message. Which they do through water surfaces.”
“So, you are saying that I didn’t imagine this, but his face meant something more?” This whole thing with Alex kept getting stranger and stranger.
“Exactly. The question is, what did it mean? But to find out, there is only one way. You have to stay in touch with him. I want all the details after the dinner.” She looked at me with big eyes. “This is so exciting!"
“Well, I am glad at least one of us can see it in a positive light. Why can’t something be normal for once?”
“Because normal is boring?” She smiled.
I hugged Roisin goodbye and then made my way back to the Cape. As much as I liked the bustling city, it was wonderful to come back to a place, where you could smell the ocean. And it wasn’t just any place anymore. Without that I realized it, I got pretty attached to our little gem by the water. I could trust the people who lived with me with my life, and they let me know that I was important to them on a daily basis. Apart from that, I had found friends at school, which had actually made me look forward to 7:30 am every morning. In short, this place felt like home to me now too and I was really starting to appreciate my new life here.
Chapter 19
Alex texted me twice in the week before the dinner. They were only short messages, asking how I was and whether it was busy at work. Along these lines. But every time, I saw his name on the screen, my heart jumped. It was as if I was still alive and actually had a heart that could palpitate. I put on a green skirt with leather around the waist, thin black tights and a simple crème colored t-shirt with embroideries on the sleeves. I styled myself, and put a lot of effort into it to look good without it looking like I put effort into it. I told myself that it was because I hadn’t gone out in a long time. I’m still so good at self-deception.
Although I arrived at our meeting point early, I saw that Alex on crutches was already waiting there.
“Hey! You’re here already!” I exclaimed.
“I wanted to make sure that I arrive on time. I’m not the fastest at the moment.” He pointed to his foot with his eyes. Then they followed up my body and finally interlocked with my eyes.
“You look amazing,” he exhaled. “Shall we go?” He held out his arm. Before I could take it, his mouth twitched, and he reached for the crutch in the other hand.
“Sorry, this time you will have to walk on your own. But I at least wanted to have made an attempt at being a gentleman,” Alex smiled.
He said ‘this time,’ I thought.
We only had to walk a few blocks until we reached the Trattoria Romana. From the outside, it looked like a vacation home in Tuscany, with its light yellow and red brick roof.
A waiter greeted us. We told him we’d like to sit outside and he guided us to a table for two, next to the pond. Alex leaned his crutches against the table and pulled out a chair for me to sit down. Toby would never have done that for me. I didn’t even know guys like that still existed.
After we both sat down, I let my gaze wander a little.
“Are you sure this is ok?” I made big eyes. “It looks quite expensive.”
“First of all, you’ve done a lot for me; you deserve it. Second, the prices are very reasonable and on top of that, the food is delicious! You have to try the bruschetta; it’s to die for.”
The waiter handed us two menus and then brought us a carafe filled with water and two glasses. I scanned through the menu. It all sounded good, but there was no real point in choosing something since I wasn’t going to eat it anyway.
Since the portions were fairly big, we agreed to share bruschetta as an appetizer and a pizza Capricciosa as the main course. I was still a bit nervous whether I’d manage not to eat without Alex noticing. At home, I had practiced with Melissa the whole week. Of course, she had wanted to know my sudden interest in doing better. Finally, I told her but I vehemently pressed my point that it would be a one-time thank you dinner. I didn’t tell her about the puddles, though. For even if the Orbiters wanted a say in whatever this with Alex was, in the end, I wanted it to be my own decision.
“I’m really glad you came,” Alex said, placing his hands on the table.
I could feel his presence radiating over to my side. His hands were only about a foot from mine and the urge to reach over was almost torturous.
“Why, were you afraid I’d pull out?”
“You might have. I mean, it wouldn’t have been the first time.” He frowned slightly. “And now you had all the more reason, not to come since I didn’t really leave a good second impression.” He pressed his lips together.
“Yes, perhaps it wasn’t the best start. But isn’t third time the charm?” I grinned.
He smiled, and I had to sit up a bit straighter, in order not to melt from my chair. If that was going to continue in this manner with my Siren endorphins, I wasn’t sure I’d survive the evening. Or he.
“So, what project are you working on?” I asked.
The waiter brought the soft drinks.
“You’d probably just laugh if I told you what I’m writing about.” He avoided eye contact and looked at his water glass.
“Try me.”
He sighed. “Okay. I am working in genetics, and after my masters, I wanted to go work in a laboratory, in the field of anti-aging. In this project, I was trying to prolong the life of dayflies.” He kept his eyes cast at the table.
“Do I have to imagine that instead of mice, you kept flies in cages at home on which you tested new genes to make them live longer?” I tried to suppress a smile. The picture of him, working with flies, was a bit odd.
“Well, I don’t have the flies at home, but yes. Something like that.” He looked up. For a moment, I saw something in his eyes, which I wasn’t sure how to interpret, but then the bruschetta arrived, and the look was gone. Alex loaded a piece on my plate and then took one for himself.
“What about yourself? What are these projects you’re working on?” He asked.
I was surprised that he remembered that from our phone conversation.
“Mostly just finding something real to do with my life.” I started cutting the bread. “I’m studying psychology, but right now, I can’t really see where that is going. Perhaps, I’ll study something else or find a more meaningful job. I can’t see myself working in a pub for the rest of my life either.” I looked into his dark brown eyes and wished that I could have told him the truth. “I mean, you could actually change something with the research you do. I’d like to be able to say this about my job, too.” I continued.
“I’m sure with psychology you can do a lot of things. And with your work at the pub, you help strengthen friendships and give people a place to relax after a hard day of work.” His face was still beaming. His eyes interlocked with mine, and I am sure he also felt the intensity of this moment because two seconds later he was suddenly very concentrated on eating the last piece of bruschetta.
“What are your hobbies?” He looked at me again which made my nerves feel as if pure electricity was flowing through them.
“At the moment, I only go jogging or swimming.” My old friends would have exploded with laughter at that since I had always hated running. But yes, things were different now.
The waiter came to bring the pizza. It was huge. I wondered how I’d fit half of that into my napkin, where the bruschetta was hiding already. I guess I’d have to make use of the plastic bag I extra packed into my purse to store away some extra food. It looked amazing, but I was too distracted by the even more appealing person behind the pizza.
Alex served me a few pieces. “Thanks, that’s enough,” I said.
“No, we make it half-half,” he replied.
“No, I’m sure you’re hungrier than me. I wouldn’t be able to eat all that.”
“That’s like a child’s portion.” He exclaimed.
I shrugged. ““What else do you do?” I changed the topic.