by S. L. Giger
He slowly pulled me closer. When our lips finally met, the fireworks that were going off inside me were definitely stealing the show from the ones above. This kiss felt so perfect; I never wanted our lips to part. I was glad I could hold on to his body, to steady myself. I might have passed out from this strong sensation otherwise. How could a simple kiss feel so different? It was worlds from when Toby kissed me.
After a short eternity, we drew apart and stared into each other's eyes for a moment.
"I should have done that a long time ago." Alex breathed and then pulled me in for another kiss. The fireworks stopped, but our kiss continued. We parted with a smile planted on both our faces.
"I agree. You should have done that a long time ago. But I have to go now. I can't leave Paula alone all night."
"Right." He didn't sound as if he wanted to let me go. "Fine, let's go." He put an arm around my shoulder.
"You don't have to come with me. No offense but I'll be faster without you." I apologetically pointed to his leg.
"Wow, one kiss and already she is running away. Perhaps, I should become gay." He joked and pulled me closer one more time. Our faces were only an inch apart.
"But before you push me to the outside of the closet, I ask for one more chance." He kissed me again.
"Believe me; it would be a huge loss for the female world." I was too much out of breath to make a sound.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked.
"Yes. Can't wait." I pulled away and brought some distance between us.
"By the way, I'm glad you stole me away tonight."
"Me too."
We both smiled. I turned around and first let go of a long breath. All this tension in the air made me feel charged up. I disappeared in the crowd. I knew I would be quicker without taking the metro, as everybody seemed to be floating there in one stream. When I felt safe and unnoticed, I took off at a faster pace. It was awesome dashing past crowds of people or slaloming a path in between them. I was so full of energy that I ran around Boston about six times until I went back to the Irish pub. When I arrived there, Paula hadn't promised too much. It really was packed with people. Therefore, Paula already was hurrying around.
"Jeez, finally." She yelled as she was rushing toward me with two full trays of empty glasses and bottles. "Why are your cheeks so flushed?" She laughed. She was already tending to the next customers at the bar. I tied the strings of my apron behind my back. From the second it was on, I was hurrying around for the rest of the night, without having another chance to exchange a word with Paula or obsess further about kissing Alex.
When the guests started to leave, we were busy with cleaning and counting money.
"Yup, good night," Paula said as she stacked the money into a plastic zip bag. Her face was red and her hair in an even messier ponytail than at the beginning of the evening.
"How could these people stand it in here? It was like a sauna. I was glad whenever I had an excuse to go to the fridge." I said.
"Yeah, it was very tempting to hide in there, but I was afraid you wouldn't bloody survive out here without me. Fucking war zone."
"Still, a lot more entertaining than the desert environment it was before. Plus, look at the tip jar." I pointed to the almost full jar on the counter.
"Yes, the people were in a good mood today. I'd say we've earned ourselves a beer." She disappeared to put the money in the safe.
I still was in an extraordinarily good mood too. I checked my phone to find a text from Alex, which surged another rush of adrenaline through me.
'Hey, Nathalie! I hope work is going ok. I wished I didn't have to let you go, though. Really enjoyed the time we had. I thought about going on a bike ride or inline skating tomorrow. But unfortunately, choices are a bit limited at the moment. So, what do you think about going on a Whale Watch? Sleep well later! Xx Alex'
I quickly texted back.
'Whale watching is an awesome idea! I really liked the fireworks and the sideshow wasn't bad either ;-) Good night. Xo Nathalie'
I slid my phone back into my jeans and went to wash the cloth for its final time tonight.
"What's that grin on your face?" Paula came back into the room, taking her apron off.
"I'm going whale watching tomorrow."
"Could it be with a certain someone? Come on, don't make me have to worm in out of you." Paula poured a beer for each of us. Only a small one for me. By now, she had realized that I wasn't that much of a drinker. We sat down, and I recounted the events of the evening to her. I didn't go too much into details of how I was feeling though. It sounded a bit crazy due to the fact that we had only just met.
"I'm glad you had a good time. But be careful. They are always nice and very generous with handing out attention in the beginning.”
"I'll wait and see." I tried to sound casual.
"Take a picture if you see a whale. We did a field trip in fifth grade. That was awesome!"
When I came home, I chatted with Melissa and Luke for a while.
“So, you are seeing him again?” Melissa asked and they exchanged a look.
“Yes, he is quite nice actually,” I said casually.
“Just be careful, ok? Relationships between a non-human being and a human are no less complicated than the normal relationships. Plus, you have to be extremely alert at all times, that he doesn’t find out about our little secret”, she warned me, and Luke nodded.
“You are the right ones to say something.” I rolled my eyes.
“That’s why I know what I am talking about.” Melissa chuckled.
“It’s not even a relationship yet.” Again, I felt like a teenager, and they were my parents who knew everything better. I felt like this warning was very much unnecessary. They didn’t know him, and I had only started to get to know him. How about being happy for me? “Don’t be such hypocrites.” I was thankful to Roisin that she obviously hadn’t told them about the puddles. If they knew about them as well, they’d completely flip.
“We’re only telling you to be careful because we care about you,” Luke said. “If you should choose to pick him and you end up together I can assure you that he is a very lucky guy. I speak out of experience,” he winked at Melissa.
I went to my room and listened to some music. I couldn’t help myself, Alex’s face and the memory of our kiss passed by my inner eye again and again. I had been mistaken about one thing. A kiss did not relieve my longing, especially such a good kiss. Now, I wanted more.
Chapter 22
I met Alex at the pier for the 11 am boat. There was a short awkward moment because, yesterday, we had kissed for the first time. Now we weren’t sure, whether we should greet each other with a hug, a short kiss on the mouth or a long kiss. But then, we looked into each other’s eyes and it all became clear.
“Hey!” He smiled.
“Good morning.” I winked and stepped closer. He wrapped me in a hug, guiding my face toward his. While our lips met, the energy that was rushing through my body could have kept NYC on power for at least an hour.
“Yes, good morning!” Alex breathed.
We boarded the ship and found a seat upstairs on the outside deck. Since the sky was cloudy that day, the chances of getting burned by the sun were pretty much reduced to zero.
While the boat maneuvered out of the harbor, we had a good view of the Boston skyline. Afterward, there was only ocean in front of us, and the breeze smelled of sea salt. It was a bit chilly, so I crossed my arms in front of my body. Alex noticed that gesture and put his arm around my shoulders to hug me closer to the warmth of his body. On one hand, it was a lot more comfortable like that. On the other hand, I now could almost feel his heart beating against my skin. My imagination pictured how it nicely pumped his vital fluids into every living cell of his body. I sat still and tried to think of a math problem, to concentrate on something else. Nevertheless, it got to the point that it was unbearable. I couldn’t be so close to him and not kiss him and ex
plore his body. Wasn’t he feeling similar? I sighed and got up.
“Let’s walk around a little.”
We had a look in the different directions over the ocean. At the moment, there were no whales in sight, but the lady let us know that they had discovered a pair on their radar.
"Is everything ok?" Alex asked unsurely.
"Yeah, why?" I said looking out at the sea.
"You seem a little restless." He observed.
"I would like to see a whale; that's all."
"You are worse than the kids." He referred to the children that were running around on the deck. "But don't worry, I'm having a good feeling about today."
"Why, do you have a sixth sense for that?"
"No, but they better come if I bring you out here." He stepped behind me and put his arms around my waist. The pounding of his heart was so intense that it pulsated against my shoulder blades. Vital and delicious. I involuntarily licked my teeth and had to remind myself that I wasn't physically after his heart. How could the other Sirens stand being so close to their boyfriends or husbands or any guy for that matter? Something needed to change here, or I wouldn't be able to guarantee a positive outcome of our meeting.
He kissed me on the back of my head. I closed my eyes to let another wave of electricity surge through me and steadied myself on the ship’s rail. I turned around to kiss him back. Looking into each other’s eyes as we parted, his reflected the same desire I felt inside me. I had to have more. I let go of him and gripped the railing because I was afraid that I would rip him apart otherwise.
“What’s the matter?”, he asked.
“The waves make me a bit queasy,” I lied.
“Oh no.” He rubbed my arm. “Do you want to sit down again?”
“No, standing here is fine. I need some more fresh air.” I swallowed and took a step to the side and looked out onto the ocean. He leaned against the railing next to me and we both stared out onto the water. We watched the two whales off in the distance in silence.
“I guess, I’ll plan something more solid for our next date,” he broke the silence.
“Perhaps that would be more agreeable for both of us,” I smiled weakly.
Back on land, I tried to keep my distance as well. I first needed a better strategy, before I could get closer to him again.
“I should go home and lay down.” I therefore said.
“Mhh, I’m sorry. I hope you feel better soon.”
“You don’t have to feel sorry; I’m surprised myself at how affected I’ve been by the water. But better no more kissing today. For your own safety.” Because I might kill you otherwise. “Because I might throw up on you otherwise.”
Would distraction with another man help like Roisin was doing it? I debated catching up with Kyle. I took out my phone and scrolled to his number. But, I wasn’t like Roisin. For me, that would be cheating. I much rather wanted to have what Melissa and Luke had. So maybe, after all, that’s whom I’d have to ask for advice.
I leaned down on a dining chair and drummed on it with my fingers.
“What’s up with you?” Melissa looked up from her newspaper.
“I have too much energy. I need to do something.”
Melissa laid her paper down on the kitchen table.
“You like this Alex, don’t you?”
I tried to come up with a good evasive answer, but in the end, my shoulders sagged down as if in defeat.
“Yes.” I sighed. “How could you stand being around Luke when he was human?”
“Stand being around me? She loved being around me!” Luke exclaimed.
I hadn’t even seen him lying on the couch.
Melissa waved at Luke to silence him.
“Actually, I meant to ask you something about a dress. Which is in my room.”
I got the hint that she wanted to go there to talk in private. I heard Luke breathe out loudly and was sure he was rolling his eyes.
Melissa and I disappeared into her room, and she closed the door behind us.
“I want to keep seeing Alex but somehow I find it much harder, not to kill him than with all the other humans,” I said exasperatedly.
“I know exactly what you mean. Luke literally made me crazy. I didn’t even have to be close to him, just knowing about his existence made me want to race to him and rip his chest open.” She whispered feverishly.
“Rip his chest open? You wanted to kill him?” I said indignantly.
“I didn’t want to kill him, but he surely had the most attractive heartbeat ever. It would have been the shot of my lifetime.” Melissa was lost in thought for a moment. She seemed almost sad as if she had missed something. Not at all like her usual self.
“But obviously, you didn’t kill him.” I underlined the fact.
“I didn’t want to kill him.” She brushed some hair out of her face. “But still, it was hard to resist. It sounds horrible when I hear myself say this.” She shook her head. “It’s difficult to explain these feelings. I wanted nothing more than being around him. But at the same time, it was torture to be so close and yet only dabble around at the surface.”
“So, what did you do?” I hoped that she would give me a helpful answer.
“Well.” She trailed off and looked to the ground. “He is a guy after all. I didn’t have to wait for ages until he wanted to know what’s below my surface, meaning my clothes. And boy was I glad that I hadn’t killed him before. That took some pressure away. Like a big valve. And now I can enjoy it repeatedly,” she winked at me. “Instead of only having one shot.”
“Okay, okay.” I waved the pictures out of my head. Suddenly, I knew very well that there was a use for their bed after all.
“In other words, what you are telling me is to jump into bed with Alex?” I asked.
Melissa sighed. “It’s hard to believe I’d suggest something like this but even I have to get used to some Siren strategies. You have to be careful with that, though. He is young after all.”
“Young is good, right? Gives him more time to grow old.”
“In that way, yes. However…” She searched for words. “However, he might be too young to look for something stable. He might be attracted to you, yes; but that doesn’t mean he can’t be attracted to other girls either.” She sighed again. A lot of sighing today. “The thing is, if you are thinking with lust, you won’t be hurt as much if it ends, you will always find that somewhere else. Look at Roisin.” Melissa laughed. “But if you are following the desire of your heart and it doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to, you will be the one that ends up being far more hurt than him. It’s as if once we let our heart melt again for someone, those feelings are very, very hard to get rid of. The good as well as the bad ones. See Cathy.” She waved her hand to an imaginary Cathy. “I believe Roisin has told you her story?”
I nodded. “Yet, it would be too big of a coincidence if Alex would have an accident and needed a transformation, too. So at least that shouldn’t be something I need to worry about.”
“Yes, hopefully. But in case that you take a risk with your heart and it goes wrong, and I am not saying it has to,” she soothingly lifted her hands, “but for the small possibility; please think before you jump off a cliff.”
“You are being a bit dramatic.”
“Maybe. But you are like the daughter I always wanted. Isn’t it natural that I have a sense of protection toward you?” She looked at me as if she wanted to give me a hug but distant as we are, didn’t.
“Caring is ok. Patronizing isn’t.”
“Hmpf. So, you'll dislike my next phrase even more.” She cringed. “Remember that no matter how clouded your mind might get with red hearts, you can never tell him the truth about you. Otherwise, the Orbiters would make short work of him and you.”
“I know.” I gulped.
When we left the room, Luke was still on the sofa, pretending not to have been eagerly waiting.
“Jeez, were you making plans
in there on how to conquer the world?”
“We don’t need a plan for that, my dear; we’d just do it if we wanted to. But that would involve so many annoying things. Therefore, I’m fine with just sitting in front of the TV, for now, watching a movie.” She snuggled up beside him.
“Sounds like a plan, too.” He took her in his arms.
They were so cute together. The picture of them made me long to have something like that, too.
I went back into my room, trying to evaluate my feelings about Alex. It couldn’t all simply be sexual desire. If that wasn’t love, I couldn’t imagine that anything else ever would be. Well, I’d have to follow my guts and my gut was telling me to continue seeing Alex. Moreover, take the relationship to the next level. Even with Melissa’s voice in the back of my head about being careful and all that. Nothing has ever felt more right than being in Alex’s presence.
And we did continue to spend a lot of time together. We went to movies, ate ice cream and popcorn – well, he did. We went to the ocean and museums, like any normal couple would do. All this time my only relief was that he would want to sleep with me sooner or later. However, our ways usually parted when he had to go to sleep in the evening. I’m sure he felt the sexual tension between us as well. I saw it in the way he looked at me, in the way he sometimes slowly brushed his fingers along my neck. Clearly, he was sending all these signs and yet, there we were just kissing and holding hands. We weren’t in the sixteenth century anymore where we have to wait to get married to have sex with each other. For a moment, I considered the possibility that he might be religious in that way. But then I remembered that he had told me that he couldn’t find faith in God since his mom died so early. Why on earth was he so hesitant then? Not that I knew a lot about guys. But all my life I had learned that it was usually the guy who wanted to move on with matters first. Why did I end up with the one guy who was different? Or was something wrong with him or us? Slowly, I was starting to grow frustrated.
Chapter 23