Audrey reminded herself that Derek was currently alone and isolated in the wooded cabin. If the rumors about his womanizing were true, although frankly she was beginning to wonder about those, he was currently starved of female attention. The tension she felt, or whatever it was between them, was only because Derek was behaving in a way that was true to his reputation. Any woman, anywhere, would do. And Audrey really didn’t want to be one of those women.
She stepped out of the shower, wrapping her wet hair up in a towel and pulling a dressing gown around her. Sliding the door to the bathroom open, she padded through the carpeted bedroom to check on Zach.
He was in the living room, his head bent over another drawing with all the focus and intent of an adult hard at work.
“You alright, buddy?” She asked.
Zach looked up, surprised to be interrupted.
“Yeah mom. I’m drawing more bears. I’m going to show them to Derek when he gets here.”
“I’m sure he’ll love that,” Audrey smiled.
Zach loved company. Adult, kid, animal, it didn’t matter, he just loved being around others and chatting away to them as if they were old friends. Audrey laughed to herself as she combed through her hair. He was unlike her in that way. She tended to be introverted. An enjoyable evening to her was a cup of tea, her cozy robe and bedroom slippers, and curling up under an afghan with a good book. Not Zach. He loved noise and chaos, and as the years went on she found herself loving that he was entirely his own, independent person. In some ways he was completely different from her, and in others entirely similar.
She finished the final touches on her make-up and outfit.
“You look sparkly, Mommy.”
Zach stood in the door of the bedroom, smiling up at his mom.
“Do I?” Audrey inspected her outfit. She’d kept it very plain with white jeans and a grey, thin-woven cashmere sweater.
“Yeah,” Zach replied. “Real sparkly.”
“Well, okay buddy. If you think I’m sparkly, then I’m sparkly.”
The doorbell rang, and Zach jumped up in excitement.
“I’ll get it.”
He ran off toward the front door before Audrey could stop him, so she just followed, bemused in anticipation of Derek Holt coming face-to-face with her bossy five-year-old son rather than her.
“Hi, I’m Zach. You’re Derek. You can come in, we’re having chicken.” She heard Zach welcoming Derek from the living room, then entered the kitchen to find the man crouching down on the floor and shaking Zach’s hand.
“Nice to meet you Zach.”
In his other hand, Derek held a bunch of hand-picked, divinely beautiful wild flowers.
“Hey,” Audrey smiled softly.
“Wow.”
Derek stood up, brows raised with a huge smile creeping across his face. Audrey could feel herself blush. A ‘wow’ was over-the-top for a jeans and sweater combo, but she felt the same way about him. Derek was wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt that clung to his form, showing off a defined chest and strong, capable-looking arms that earlier today had been wrapped around her. The thought made the butterflies in her stomach rear up.
“You’ve filled out since coming here,” Audrey said. It was true. The Derek that had been starting to look too lean and perpetually exhausted, was now more like a solid, broad presence before her.
“Clean living,” Derek grinned.
“Sure.”
Audrey rolled her eyes, teasing him, but she knew it was true. Sober time and space from the hectic bustle of touring was clearly what Derek had needed. She made a mental note to remind him not to put his next R&R break off for so long when she suddenly realized she wasn’t going to be around to enforce that. The thought depressed her a bit, but she’d already put in her notice.
Zach, tired of being ignored, tugged on the leg of Derek’s jeans.
“Derek, mom saw a bear in the woods today. I drew it. Do you want to see?”
“A bear?”
Derek looked from Zach to Audrey, his expression a picture of amusement.
“Yes!” Audrey exclaimed. “I really did. I saw it on the road down here on the way back from your place. It was huge.”
“I believe you,” Derek hastened to add. “It’s just that they don’t normally present themselves to humans if they can help it. You got lucky.”
“I don’t know about that!” Audrey laughed. “He seemed pretty annoyed off I was in his territory.”
“You shouldn’t make bears angry mom,” Zach said solemnly. “They don’t like it. And you could get eaten.”
With that, he ran off from the kitchen.
Derek laughed, “Yeah. He’s right. You shouldn’t make bears angry, Red.”
Audrey hid her reaction by turning around to deal with the chicken. How could he make something so mundane sound so loaded? The buzzing along her skin was picking up, and she felt that the tension in the air could be cut with a knife but just as quickly as the thought came, she dismissed it. She might feel strange, but Derek seemed perfectly at ease.
“Here!”
Zach ran back into the kitchen holding his masterpieces aloft. He shoved the drawings in front of Derek to be admired.
This time, Derek emitted a loud, full-on belly laugh.
“These are great, Zach.” He chose one, holding up to the kitchen light to study it. “Is… er, that your mom?”
“Yeah!” Zach replied happily.
Derek held out the picture to Audrey with a smirk on his face. She picked it up, amused to see a stick-figure with red hair in the mouth of the bear.
“Oh lovely! I’m being eaten.”
“That’s why you shouldn’t make them mad,” Zach repeated. “Maybe we should hang it on the fridge to remind you.”
“We should,” Audrey agreed. “No more aggravating bears for me. I’ve learned my lesson.”
Zach nodded, pleased his warning was being taken seriously.
“Okay,” Audrey announced. “Let’s eat.”
Chapter 11
Derek couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so content. Or if he ever had. The sun was setting over the mountains, casting a hazy pink and orange glow across the living room. Zach had been completely enamored with Derek and, in truth, the feeling was mutual. After talking his ear off, giving him a guided tour of his temporary bedroom that would rival any museum tour, and plying him with umpteen artistic creations, the kid had fallen asleep sprawled across his lap, his blonde tufts of hair looking bleach white against Derek’s suntanned arm. The kid was smart and tough, a ball of energy that just zoomed from place to place, subject to subject. Even in sleep his small fist was curled into a ball, ready to practice the kung-fu moves he’d been showing Derek earlier in the evening.
Derek hardly remembered his own mother, which was fine. The memories he did have of her were of a shadow of a woman—thin, drawn, and strung out on drugs. He couldn’t say he’d ever really ‘known’ her when she’d been alive because as far back as he could remember, she’d been absent from her own body. He did, however, remember his step-father. Those memories were horrid and vile, the kind that no one should ever possess. His childhood had been a harsh experience that he didn’t ever like to dwell on. Seeing Zach growing up with a loving mother, and by all accounts a grandmother he loved who helped out where she could, made Derek feel strangely comforted.
“He’s a great kid,” he whispered softly to Red who was on the couch next to him with her legs curled beneath her.
She smiled.
“Yeah. He is a great kid. Sometimes I can hardly believe he’s mine. He’s so smart and inquisitive, wants to do everything, loves meeting people…” she laughed quietly. “Where did he get all that from?”
“I know where he got the smarts from,” Derek replied. “That’s easy.”
Red shook her head.
“I wasn’t that smart as a kid. I promise you that.”
Derek didn’t believe her for a second. He could imagine Red as a g
irl—as tough as Zach, a red haired fireball with a temper to boot. He grinned to himself.
“What’s his dad like?” He asked.
Red’s face clouded over almost instantly, and Derek regretted the question.
“He walked out on us. Never paid any child support. I think he’s with someone new now. He tried to get custody of Zach about a year ago. Fortunately the courts saw right through his ‘devoted father’ routine.”
Derek nodded. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a mother to be parted from her son. His own mother hadn’t had a maternal instinct in her entire body, but Red clearly had it in droves.
“I’m sorry. It must be hard, raising him on your own.”
“Easier than it was with my ex. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. And my mom’s always been there for us. It’s just… I guess he misses out on some stuff.”
Derek understood the unspoken truth. Zach would benefit from a male role model in his life, someone to take the place of an absent father. He was also thinking something else, that it was amazing that Red was still single. He could imagine the droves of men who might want to fill her ex-husband’s boots where he’d failed. Who wouldn’t want a great kid like Zach and an incredible woman like Red—Audrey.
“Have you…um…had any other relationships since his dad left?” Derek asked.
“No. A few dates, that’s all. It’s been a pretty full-time job caring for Zach…”
“… and looking after me,” Derek completed the sentence. He suddenly felt ashamed that he had probably caused her so much trouble over the years, selfishly living the life of a celebrity and not paying any attention to the impact it might have had on others. How many times had Red had to act as a go-between with him and his female fans? How many times had she needed to work late to make sure he got to a hotel, or airport, or appointment with record management? To make sure he arrived sober and alert for the next big concert, event, interview, photoshoot, etcetera?
Red rolled her eyes, “You pay me well.”
“Oh, so that’s where all my money’s going?”
“Yep. On me and Zach living the high life.”
“And I wouldn’t want it going anywhere else.”
“Yeah, right. Anyway, what about you? Have you ever thought about settling down and starting a family?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she cringed. Why had she asked such a stupid question? Was she daydreaming that he’d suddenly want to fill the vacant spot in hers and Zach’s life?
When Red noticed the way Derek shifted in his seat next to her, careful not to wake Zach, she realized the question had made him uncomfortable.
“You don’t have to answer that,” she added quickly, “I’m just being nosy.”
“No, I don’t mind answering. The truth is, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it in ages. Before all this happened—before the record deal and the touring—I thought I wanted a family. I just didn’t know where to start. I was playing in dive bars every night, doing whatever manual labor I could find during the days just to eke out a living. Then, after I made something of myself, well… well, you were there, you know. There wasn’t exactly room in my life for a family, or an atmosphere conducive to family life. I suppose I didn’t make it a priority, just thought it would happen someday.”
He looked over at Red sitting there with her bare feet curled beneath her. They were both drinking wine but had barely made a dent in the bottle. Derek had found his craving for alcohol had severely diminished and now he only had a glass in his hand out of social nicety.
Red looked so beautiful. Vulnerable in a way he’d never seen her before, relaxed and with her guard down. He wished he could stop time. The idea of peeling himself off the sofa, removing the heat of Zach’s little body from his and saying goodbye to Red seemed like torture.
“With a local girl, like Kellie Lane?” Red asked, with a gleam in her eye.
“No. Not with a girl like Kellie Lane,” Derek grimaced. “But that’s the kind of woman that’s interested in me. My brother, Tanner, found the most beautiful, kind, generous woman… she’s amazing. But, he beat the odds. Guys that grow up like us, well, we don’t exactly attract the cream of the crop where women are concerned. We have to settle for whatever we can get.”
Red frowned.
“That’s not true,” she replied, shocked by his assessment of himself.
“Isn’t it?” Derek smirked. “I think we both know the kind of women I end up with.”
“That circumstantial. You’re on tour, surrounded by pushy fans and groupies. It’s not like you’re going to find any other kind of woman when you’re only paying attention to the ones that shove themselves in your face.”
“Maybe,” Derek said, biting back the truth. The truth was that in his mind, any other woman was merely a poor man’s substitute for Red. And now he knew why.
He had wanted her the moment they’d met. Shoved his feelings down where the sun didn’t shine, along with his bear. But now that the bear was out, so were his feelings—and a revelation along with them. She was the mate he’d always wanted but never thought he’d find. Earlier that afternoon, he’d become certain of it.
The bear Red had seen today was him. He’d been unable to curb his instincts, running down alongside the road not wanting to hurt her, but wanting badly to claim with her. Badly. Now Derek was left with every facet of his being needing and wanting Red, and knowing she wouldn’t feel the same way.
Derek hadn’t even come close to having his heart broken. If anything, he’d avoided getting himself in that kind of situation all his life. Now it looked like it was becoming a distinct possibility.
“Maybe it’s time for a change?” Red suggested laughingly. “For purely selfish reasons, I’d like to see how you handle having a wife and kids… see if you get a pot belly and a dad bod, for a starters.”
“Any more time with you and I will,” Derek shot back rubbing his hard, flat stomach. “That meal was delicious.”
Red shrugged off the compliment.
“I mean it. You’re quite a woman, Red.”
“Thanks very much, Holt.” She raised her glass in a mock salute. Derek meant to do the same, but instead he found himself removing the glass from her hand and placing it on the table next to his.
A silence settled between them.
“What are you doing, Derek?” Audrey asked quietly.
“I don’t know.” He replied.
“I don’t either.”
They leaned into each other at the same time. Derek pulled Audrey to him with his free arm, a sleeping Zach in his other, and ran his hand up her spine till it reached the nape of her neck. Their lips met, Audrey’s mouth warm and welcoming. Derek had never tasted anything so sweet. Their tongues tentatively touched, before moving more insistently against one another. Derek groaned, knowing already that one kiss would never be enough. Her hands reached up through his hair, tingling his scalp and down his back.
He was in deep trouble. He was going to lose control.
He broke this kiss, breathing hard, but amazingly, when Red looked up into his eyes, he almost thought he saw the same urgency in her eyes reflecting back at him.
Audrey put Zach to bed in a daze.
She could still feel the heat from Derek’s lips on hers, the way her body had responded to his closeness. She practically hummed with longing for him, recalling again and again the way his hands had gently cupped her jaw, his fingertips firmly caressing the skin on her neck.
She also recalled how he had dragged himself away, sensibly, as she should have done. It seemed her own body just wouldn’t allow it. She was falling for him so desperately. She wanted to drown in him, to completely lose herself in the arms of Derek Holt, to be gripped and rocked by his hands, to be entirely filled by him.
It was so wrong, and she knew it. Knew she would get hurt, knew that she and Derek were a million miles away from a perfect match but it no longer seemed to matter. She would happily have her heart broken,
in exchange for just for a few hours of bliss.
She tucked Zach up, placing Kittles, his toy cat, next to him. In his sleep, he reached out to touch the matted fur. She smiled, turning on his night light and then left the bedroom door slightly ajar.
Derek had been so good with him tonight. Which, unfortunately for her, had just intensified her longing for him. He had been so at ease with Zach, treated him like he mattered, the way any kid would like to be treated. He’d even had some interesting conversations with him as though he were talking to anther adult. Audrey grinned in the dark. Darn. Derek really had done a number on her.
It was a good thing she would be leaving her job come the end of the summer. If this lusty-teen relationship was going to develop with Derek, then she could enjoy it while it lasted. Then, she and Zach would be gone, and on with their own lives. It wasn’t fair to Zach for her to get involved with Derek in any serious way, so she vowed to keep Derek’s visits here to a minimum. That way, when the pair of them parted, it wouldn’t be a disruption to Zach, at least, not any more than saying goodbye to Chloe would be.
It wasn’t as though Derek truly needed her, anyway. He was a completely different person in the real world, away from the spotlight. The funny thing was that in all the time Audrey had worked with Derek, she hadn’t really known him at all. For the first time now, at the tail end of their working relationship, she was seeing the real Derek. And darned if she didn’t really, really like him.
Audrey’s cell rang as soon as she entered her bedroom, showing there were two missed calls from her mom. It was only around eleven, not too late for her mom who usually stayed up late anyway.
She dialed the number back. The only place she got okay reception on her cell phone was in the apartment, where they were hooked up to Wi-Fi. Elsewhere in Jackson with the mountains, it was hit and miss.
“Mom?”
“Oh, honey, hello. How are you?”
“I’m really good mom,” Audrey smiled softly trying not to think of Derek and give her full attention to the call. “How are you? Sorry I missed your calls, is everything okay?”
Country Star Werebear Page 7