by Rene Folsom
“If something happens to you, I need to know who to kill. So, tell me.”
Her demands weren’t going to intimidate me… not today anyway. “You’re not getting that info from me, so please, leave it be. I just need to know that if all this comes out, and I need to reveal who I am, that you’ll have my back.” I paused, taking a deep breath to ground myself. Closing my eyes, I added, “Tell me this won’t fuck everything up.” My heavy breathing was loud in the phone, the sound of air pushing through the chunk of plastic loud in my ears.
“You know I’ll always be there for you,” she said, her voice consoling. “And no, this won’t fuck things up. Like I said, you have a really solid fan base. They’re not going to turn on you over something as petty as you being female. Plus, you’re hot. Guys will love you and girls will envy you. We’ll just need to plaster your pretty face all over the place and all will be forgiven.”
“You act like this is a damn beauty pageant,” I said with a laugh, knowing just how right she was on some levels. “But I think it’s more than just my looks. I’ve been published for a long time, all while allowing people to assume I’m a man. I think it comes down to honesty. Not only that, but… what’s going to happen to my normal, everyday life once people know who I really am? How will this affect my grandmother, my friends?”
“I think you’re freaking out about this way too much. It’s not like the paparazzi follow authors around or anything. You might get a few people who suddenly see you as a meal ticket, but I think you’ll be able to handle that like any other wealthy person does.”
“Yeah,” I said, knowing she was right. Still, a nagging feeling cut me deep to my core. “You do know I’m not worried about me necessarily, right? I’m worried about her. The last thing I need are people using my grandmother as leverage to get to me. Good or bad, I need people to keep their distance. Hell, the publishing company gets hate mail addressed to me just as much as they get praise. The last thing I need is for her to be roped into the mess that is my world.”
“You’re right. It’ll get messy sometimes. But don’t let a fear like that cloud your judgment and moral decency. I don’t care who this man is or how important he thinks he is. Nothing is worth ruining your integrity.”
Integrity. Wasn’t that exactly what was on the chopping block with this whole mess? Then in dawned on me… there was only one thing in this entire world that was worth ruining my honor over.
My grams.
What’s to stop him from going after her to get what he wants? I thought, wishing I could explain this fear to my friend. Yeah, one could argue that a man would never emotionally hurt his own mother… but one clearly didn’t know Big Jim.
“Maci? You still there?” Sam asked.
“Yeah,” I breathed. “Thanks for letting me yap in your ear about this.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
Just as I was about to respond, a text message came through, startling me a bit as it made my phone vibrate.
Liam: I’m here. Just come up?
“I’m not sure yet, but could you do me a favor?” I asked as I typed my response to Liam.
Maci: Yep. Come to unit 1604.
“Anything,” she responded, and I knew just how much she meant it. We would always do anything for each other, and that was a fact that made me smile, even in my darkest of times.
“Could you draft up a press release? Something that doesn’t make it sound like I’ve been in hiding, but that I’ll be making an appearance myself… maybe we can look into scheduling a signing at a local library or bookstore? Start thinking of ways I can reveal myself to the public without it seeming like some big scandal.” I could only hope she understood what I was asking. “A soft, oh hey, this is me, reveal would be best.”
“Do you want me to tell Cam?”
“No, not yet. Not until I figure out what the fuck I’m doing. But my bios and photos are going to all need updated on a moment’s notice once I figure things out, so maybe we could get a head start on all of it.”
“No worries. I got your back,” Sam said, her words all too true. She always had my back in everything. I was forever in her debt.
“Thanks, Sam. I owe you one… or ten,” I said, wanting to reach out and give my friend a hug.
“Try fifty. I’ll be collecting once this whole mess is behind you.”
A knock on my door had me frantic to finish the call.
“Plan on it. Hey, look, I gotta run. But I’ll keep you posted.”
“Ten-four, boss. Come into the office tomorrow to proof all this stuff.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said, hanging up and taking a deep breath before steeling my nerves and answering the door.
Chapter Four
Liam: Nintendo
Just after five, I snuck my way into the main development studio. Several of our programmers still had their noses pressed up against their computer screens, working steadily even though it was technically time for them to go home.
I loved their passion.
Most of these men and women would completely lose track of time when in the thick of things, taking breaks only because they were told to by either a supervisor or their stomachs.
Computers lined the center of the room, large screens making a virtual wall of digital awesomeness. Some were dark now, their owners calling it a day already, while others were still lit with graphics or codes.
A few of the leftover employees popped their heads up to see who had entered their domain, their gaze flicking to me for a second before focusing back on their screens.
It only took a few strides for me to approach Dane, one of the squints who never seemed to want to go home.
“Sup, Mr. A?” he nearly yelled, pushing his black-framed glasses up on his face as he smiled up at me. He reminded me of that boy from the movie The Sandlot, which was why I would often refer to him as Squint, even if it were just in my head.
“Hey, Dane. Is it possible to get the Specter prototypes packed up so I can take them tonight? I have a few buddies I want to try them out on, do a little outside testing before we continue development.” Even though I helped build this company, I still felt a little sneaky taking them off property so early.
“Well, they’re not really ready for outsourced testing, but if you’re going to be supervising, I guess it couldn’t hurt. The graphics are a bit bare too, so you might want to give them a heads up on that,” he explained as he stood and walked over to a locked door, twisting the key gingerly as if the deadbolt would break with his minimal force. He knew I had my own key to the storage room, but I guess he felt the need to help.
“Yeah, it won’t be that big of a deal. I’m just thinking a casual test with several players at once might give us the feedback we need to take it to the next level. I’m hoping to just hear their reactions more than anything,” I explained, needing him to know this wasn’t exactly something we’d get notes back on. But if I told him I just wanted to cheer up my girlfriend, he’d probably laugh in my pitiful face.
Well, maybe a geek like him wouldn’t laugh, but still… I’d feel pitiful nonetheless.
“Cool beans,” he said, picking up a hard-sided case and handing it to me. Patting the hard shell of the case, he then silently gestured toward the sign-out sheet and added, “The data cards are still in the headsets, and the disc is in one of the interior pockets.”
“Thanks, man.” With my John Hancock scrawled on the sheet of paper clipped to the inside of the door, I walked away, letting Dane lock up behind me. The rest of the office was quiet as I made my way down to the garage, taking the stairs two at a time. My eagerness to surprise Maci increased with each echo of footsteps that sounded around me.
She’s gonna get a kick out of this, I thought, almost forgetting I had to pick up some food on my way.
*****
Juggling the Specter case, a brown bag of Chinese food, and a six-pack, I braved the elevator and made my way to the sixteenth floor of Maci’s condo. I was suddenl
y startled when she opened her door, doing so before I even had a chance to knock.
“Mind if we take this all to your place instead?” she asked, her words rushing out in a huff as she clutched her purse and a sweater in her arms.
“Why? We’re already here, and you said you didn’t feel like going anywhere tonight. Is there something wrong?” Before I could finish my inquiry, she was already starting to shut the door behind her.
“No, you just have a better setup than I do, that’s all.”
“Don’t worry about it. I brought something that really doesn’t require much of a setup at all.” Watching her hesitate, I held up the pack of beer, gestured to her door, and tried to give her my most adoring smile. “C’mon. Let’s have some fun.”
I wondered what her deal was, my instincts telling me something was up, but I ignored it as soon as she huffed a sigh and held the door open for me.
“Not sure about you, but I just love some good General Tso’s chicken,” I hollered out, making my way to her open kitchen to set the food on the granite countertop. “But since I wasn’t sure what you’d like, I got several other things as well.”
Looking around, I was suddenly stunned with how amazing her place looked. I knew the area was rather ritzy, and it did dawn on me that it was odd she could afford such an amazing penthouse as a simple file clerk, but the interior of her condo simply took my breath away.
My eyes gravitated toward the panoramic view of Tampa Bay, an incredible sunset beginning to build on the horizon. With the floor-to-ceiling sliding doors, it was as if the scenery was surrounding me on all sides. Even though my place had a nice view, this panoramic scene was less of the cityscape and more of the bay, the colors making all new patterns in the sky.
A sense of peace, like the calm before a storm, enveloped me as I took a few more steps toward the glass, my reflection barely a thought on its shear surface.
The hiss of a cap being removed from a bottle brought me out of my trance, Maci’s arm snaked around my torso, a beer in her hand, ready and waiting for me.
“Thanks, hon. Man, your place is so amazing,” I said, the compliment tumbling from my lips while she unlocked the glass door and began to slide it open.
Maci didn’t even respond, didn’t even look at me or counter with some smart-ass quip like she normally would any other time. Instead, she just turned from me and walked back to the kitchen to open her own beer.
I watched her, studied each step she took, each sway of her hips, enraptured, wandering what the hell I’d done to put this gap the size of the Grand Canyon between us. Of course, she was always breathtakingly beautiful, yet now there was a sadness in her eyes—an emotion I couldn’t quite make out.
Her slender neck looked so inviting, so smooth, as she tipped the beer completely on its head and downed the entire bottle in a few hefty gulps. I flinched when she slammed the bottle down on the counter and immediately reached for another, popping the cap with another hiss. This time, she took a healthy sip, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand before finally looking at me.
“Thirsty?” I joked, an uncomfortable laugh escaping my throat before I could stifle it.
One side of her mouth tilted up in a forced smile. Yeah, something was up, and it was getting ridiculous. I was trying desperately to respect her boundaries, let her come to me if she had an issue she needed to hash out. But I was soon going to fuck all boundaries and demand she tell me what was up, because I’d be damned if she was going to suffer in silence without even giving me an idea of what was wrong.
I kept my eye on her as she gripped the glass bottle in her hand and made her way to the main entertainment center in the great room. The vaulted ceilings suddenly made this place look way too big, swallowing her small frame in cold shadows rather than the warmth of the sun’s rays through the glass walls.
“Maci, what’s the matter?” I questioned, my voice seeming too tiny, barely breaking through the weight of the tension between us. “Did I do something wrong?”
A small shake of her head was the only response I got as she pressed a few buttons and filled the room with music. Lyrics replaced the silence between us, an upbeat tempo I hadn’t heard in a while. I didn’t peg her for a Walk the Moon fan. But then, since when did I ever get anything right when it came to Maci?
“Oh, don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me…”
Abruptly, she turned, her eyes trained on mine as her hips began to move, each beat bringing her closer to where I stood in the middle of her great room. My stomach leapt at the look on her face, my heartbeat suddenly increasing to match the rhythm of the music.
I said, “You’re holding back.” She said, “Shut up and dance with me!”
Just then, she mouthed the words, grabbing the chest of my Deadpool t-shirt and bringing me against her as she moved in time.
Holding my hands out, my beer still securely in one, I said, “No, Maci. I can’t dance!”
“Shut up and dance with me!”
Her mouth moving with the words, her hips moving with the beat, I couldn’t help but obey her demands. I felt awkward. I knew my body couldn’t move properly when it came to following music, but watching her flow with the cadence gave me confidence I wouldn’t otherwise have.
Taking another swig of her beer, she continued to dance, grabbing my chest with her free hand and feeling her way around me. I mostly just stood there, moving marginally, but not enough to step all over her or trip and look like a fool sprawled out on her floor. Instead, I allowed her to circle me, each move of her hips entrancing me, making me realize just how deep I was falling for this beautiful, colorful woman.
Before I knew it, the song came to an end, Maci’s eyes closing as she let out a deep, audible sigh, the music obviously loosening her tension and slowly thawing out whatever seemed to be bothering her minutes ago.
I was about to open my mouth, to apologize for being such a knucklehead when it came to dancing. But before I could, another song came on, and I knew then she had planned it.
I met you at the grocery spot, with the sweatpants lookin’ all kinds of hot, and a box of Captain Crunch in your hand. Said, “Hmm, now, baby girl, that's my jam.”
The lyrics of Nintendo by Todd Carey flooded my senses, an automatic smile spreading over my face. She definitely planned this.
You ain't the kind of girl that needs fancy things. You like staying up late playing video games. Got a cherry ring pop, that's your only bling and…
Even though the tempo of this song was also pretty upbeat, Maci still surprised me, her body pressing close to mine as she laid her head against my chest. She wrapped her arms around me, tight, slowly swaying back and forth as if we were now dancing to some slow, romantic song.
This was definitely my kind of romance.
You take me back like Nintendo. Like when we were ten, yo…
“This song reminds me of you,” she said, mumbling her words against my chest as we moved at a slow pace, gently gliding from foot to foot.
“This is seriously like our anthem or something. It’s perfect for us,” I agreed, kissing her on top of her head and wrapping my arms around her in return. Her softness felt so good, the warmth of our bodies intertwining together like we were one for just a few moments in time.
Tilting her head up, she looked me in the eye and said, “I think we’ve just found our song.” The smile she had was so childlike, so carefree—I’d give anything to see her smile like that all the time. I’d always thought couple songs were odd, something couples needed to feel like they mattered to each other. But now that this song really fit, really seemed to tell our stories, I knew it was meant to be.
Chapter Five
Maci: Party Foul
I knew I was acting like a child, sulking like someone stole my damn cookie. So when I sensed the dreaded question was burning the tip of Liam’s tongue, I was determined to do something to change my mood around.
The music worked, especially the songs that h
appened to play next on my iPod. They allowed me to put on a mask, pretend to be happy, even if just for tonight. He probably thought I’d planned it all out. Almost wish I were that smooth.
It was easy to be happy with Liam around. We just seemed to mesh, our minds coming up with the same foregone conclusions in both conversations and actions. So, when the song Nintendo came on, I knew it was fate. It was so easy to just cuddle up into the Liam nook and forget about the looming challenges that faced me tomorrow.
I wanted tonight to be just about us, because who knew how long us would last after the shit hit the fan.
As the song came to an end, I felt just a bit looser, the intensity in my muscles relaxing a bit as I looked up at his penetrating, blue eyes, willing him to kiss me. As if he could read my mind, he closed the distance, holding me tight as our lips pressed together.
My head swam with the taste of his mouth against mine, the flavor of him flooding my senses. The feel of his tongue tracing the contours of my lips, the warmth of his breath on my skin, had me gasping for air at any opportunity.
My fingernails dug into the raspy hair on his cheek, desperate to deepen the kiss, needing to have him closer. A cold, wet feeling seeped between us, making me jump back in surprise as I realized I’d spilled my beer down our fronts, soaking our shirts and dripping down our bodies.
“Shit!” I exclaimed, setting what was left of my bottle down on the coffee table before running to get a towel. Thank cripes we were standing just at the edge of my throw rug, the contents of what I spilled dripping onto the tile floor at our feet.
Liam’s laugh was hard to ignore as I frantically made my way back over to the mess, his Deadpool shirt obviously taking the brunt of my blunder.
“Damn. Talk about a party foul,” I said, apologizing as I dabbed his shirt with the towel before dropping to my knees and sopping up the floor. “I’m so sorry.”
He let out another chuckle while watching me, obviously amused with my slick romantic skills. I was thankful he wasn’t pissed though, because I definitely got his shirt good.