by Rene Folsom
To my horror, Big Jim still held me, his hand restricting my movements a bit as it lingered on my shoulder. I wanted so badly to jerk away, but knew I couldn’t until we were behind closed doors. His hand felt like fire touching me, the urge to break away and fling it from my skin nearly painful. I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to deal with it—for Grams.
My heart rate picked up speed as we crossed the threshold into my grandmother’s room, the sight of her making my soul feel mended, if only for a moment. The surprise and desperation was clear on her face when she finally looked my way.
“Oh, thank goodness, you’re finally here!” she cried, repeating her usual mantra as she stood up and scurried over to me with her arms stretched wide.
“I’m here, Grams. I just couldn’t wait to see you again,” I said, holding her tight and allowing her scent to envelop me. She calmed me—just her presence slowed my pulse and had my breaths evening out. It was all the motivation I needed to get through this. Liam was right, all I had to do was remember my goals—and she was one of them. “Come on now, let’s go sit.”
“Yeah, Mom,” Big Jim chimed in, following behind us like a child picked last for the team. “We came together to sit and keep you company.”
Her eyes looked vacant, lost, as she stared at her son, and I wondered just how often he actually spoke directly to her. In all the times he was here at the same time I visited, I never once heard him address her openly—never once heard him call her mom. Today was a first.
“Well, aren’t you nice kids?” she said with a wave of her hand as she held onto my arm and sat in her chair, a slight wince coloring her eyes. It made me wonder if something was wrong. She’d never had many physical ailments before. It was only her mind riddled with disease. “Make yourselves comfortable,” she requested.
“Thanks, Grams,” I said, even though I didn’t sit. I was way too nervous to stay still, needing to get this over and done with as soon as humanly possible so I could see to it she was okay, so I could just sit and be with her like old times.
“So, Maci, what’s been new with you lately?” Big Jim said as he sat in another chair, crossing an ankle over his knee as if to get comfortable like Grams suggested. He put quite a bit of emphasis on my name, almost like he wanted to see if Grams would show any recognition. He knew damn well she was too far gone to remember names, but her reaction when I stepped foot through the door should have been indication enough that she missed me. She always knew my face, no matter how much time had passed.
“Not much, just been helping my boyfriend test a new prototype of his,” I said, hinting at the topic at hand. A new knot formed in my throat. I was way too new at this sneaky banter to be confident in what I was doing.
Reaching over, I removed my purse from my shoulder and set it on a nearby food table, wheeling the tray back and positioning it against the wall so it was further away.
“This wouldn’t happen to be the Specter Virtual Reality project, would it?” Big Jim asked, taking the bait like a fish to a hook.
“Oh, darling!” Grams interjected. “You must tell me about this new man in your life. I bet he’s devilishly handsome.” Her eyes were filled with nothing but joy, her eyelashes batting frantically as she said the word handsome.
“He is… very handsome, and also very sweet to me. You’d like him, Grams. Maybe I’ll bring him by to meet you one day,” I said, never reminding her she’d already done so. Bringing up her lack of memory usually didn’t help matters. She’d often get defensive, pushing her into a state of depression because she knew she was suffering from a mental illness. It wasn’t lost on her just how horrible it made her feel when she couldn’t remember things. Alzheimer’s wasn’t just hurtful to her family members, it was way more of a bitch for her to have to deal with than we could ever fathom.
“I’d love that!” she said, clasping her hands together and bringing them to her mouth like she needed to stifle her joy. I smiled a genuine smile at her reaction.
“Maci? Is this the Specters you’re talking about?” Big Jim asked again as if his mom didn’t even say anything, ignoring her completely like he usually did.
“That’s the one,” I said cheerfully, the false tone fooling no one. I just hoped my voice sounded pleasant enough to keep my gram at ease. I didn’t need my worry passing onto her. She already had to take anxiety medications just to get through the day without panicking.
“Well, I’d love to get my hands on something like that. Care to share?” he asked, getting straight to the point. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve played with them some, right?”
“Yes, he let me test them out last weekend. But I’m sorry, I can’t give out any details, not to mention get my hands on them myself. The company keeps it under lock and key,” I said, eyeing the man sitting before me so he understood just what I was getting at.
The scowl on his face spoke volumes. His beady, wicked eyes bored into me, challenging me in more ways than one. “Don’t toy with me, Maci,” he grumbled, his jowls wiggling like jelly as he spoke in such harsh tones.
“No joke, it’s rather protected,” I added, knowing by the look on his face that he was taking the bait.
That did it. With speed I never thought possible from a man his size, Big Jim stood and closed the distance between us. He got right up in my face, his scowl deepening and his skin turning red. My stomach twisted with each moment of his advance, nerves building deep inside me that nothing was stopping him from actually physically hurting me.
“I told you I wanted that prototype and you pull a stunt like this just to see her?” he seethed, poking me in the chest with one of his fat fingers. “I want the Specter headset, and I want it today!”
“Jim, calm down and let me explain,” I said, a tear threatening to roll down my face at how weak I sounded under the pressure he was putting on me. I would not cry, could not cry. Nothing good would come from my tears.
“What’s going on?” my grandmother said behind us, Big Jim ignoring her again like she wasn’t even there. It hurt me to know she’d have to witness this. She had to have sensed I wasn’t safe with this man, though it was only a guess.
A loud, whistling of air pulled through his nose as he backed away marginally, his muscles shaking visibly before me. He didn’t put too much distance between us though, and I could only hope this recording device would capture all this and it’d be enough.
“The headsets are fairly easy to get to, but the data they use to function isn’t. That’s the only holdup.” I could see his nostrils flair with each breath he took, my muscles tensing at the sight of his anger. “They’re useless without the data cards. If I can get my hands on them, then I’d have everything you asked for.”
“Someone tell me what you two are going on about?” Grams said, her voice strained as she stood from her chair.
“Nothing, Mother. We’re just discussing business.” His eyes stayed trained on me as he spoke, never looking back to address her concerns. “Maci, so help me God, you will get the Specter prototype for me by next week or I’ll…”
“Or you’ll what?” I said, anger overwhelming me with every word he spoke. My eyes darted around, knowing I was capturing this entire encounter. I just hoped it’d be enough. Considering he was only a handful of words away from threatening to harm me gave me the confidence I needed and the knowledge that I’d soon have him dead to rights.
His beady eyes narrowed at my sudden confidence, his evil thoughts obviously turning things over in his head.
“Maci,” he snarled. “Undo your blouse.”
“What?” I gasped, a lump forming in my throat at his request. Actually, it wasn’t a request, it was a demand… the man was smart, and he intended to check me for a wire.
“You heard me. Now unbutton that pretty blue shirt before I am forced to do it myself.” He was seething, his blood obviously boiling as his face reddened even more.
“You wouldn’t dare!” My voice was low, but I was still fueled by rage as I clutch
ed my arms against my breasts. Why this man thought he had any right to put his hands on me was beyond infuriating.
I could hear my grandmother’s faint protests beside me, but I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying beneath the frantic beating of my heart. I watched with absolute horror as Big Jim reached for me, his meaty fingers stretching to the collar of my beautiful, silk blouse—one Liam specifically chose for me to wear because it made me look innocent, trustworthy, not to mention it was a dark enough blue to leave things to the imagination.
I tried to stop him, tried so hard to put my arms between my chest and him, but the assault was just too fast for me to react in time.
With a scowl on his face, his teeth sinking into the meat of his bottom lip, Jim scraped his fingers along my skin, grasping the inside edges of my blouse and yanking it open, tearing through each fastened button with ease.
I gasped, a shout of surprise escaping me before I could react physically. The tinkling sounds of buttons hitting the floor seemed loud in the few short seconds it took for him to realize I wasn’t wearing a wire, that he had just defiled me for no good reason.
My shirt hung on my shoulders, the fabric tattered, exposing me to a man I hated with every fiber of my being, yet I wasn’t embarrassed. Instead, I was fucking pissed.
Everything else unfolded before me, before I could react to his violation, before I could express my anger, before I could save her…
The last button hadn’t even hit the linoleum floor when Grams lunged forward, her hands grabbing onto his thick arm through the suit he wore. She was screaming the word STOP! at the top of her frail lungs, her intent obvious as she tried to keep him from touching me.
Without even thinking twice, Big Jim flung his arm backward in an attempt to rid whatever was holding him back. He was coming for me again, that was clear.
I gasped, starving for air as the loud smack of bone against metal took my breath away. Beyond Jim’s dense hands grasping my throat, I watched in horror as my grandmother’s limp body hit the floor.
I couldn’t even hear my own voice as I screamed, crying out for the woman who’d been my entire world for so damn long. With strength I never knew I had, I pushed Big Jim’s hands from me, barreling through his massive frame to reach her.
I dropped to my knees, not caring how hard the surface was as I crashed next to her, my hands flying to cradle her head. Tears streamed down my face, dripping from my chin and combining into a puddle of crimson flowing freely beneath her prone body.
With a shaky hand, she reached for me, her fingers grazing my face with weak tentativeness. Instead of the empty eyes that usually stared back at me most days, they were filled with love—a soul so deep I could’ve dove right in and swam for eternity.
“Maci?” she questioned, her fingers barely touching me, yet never letting go. The sound of my name from her lips made me gasp, my sobs taking over at the mere thought she remembered.
My face sank into her touch, her wrinkled skin combining with my tears. “Yes, Grams. Yes,” I sobbed.
“Don’t cry,” she said, her voice weak, shaky, yet determined to make sure I could hear the care and devotion it held.
Those were her last words before she dropped her hand and went completely still in my arms, the life fading from her body and stealing my heart.
Chapter Twenty
Maci: Collateral Damage
The activity suddenly burst to life in the room as nurses and other staff members flooded the small space. I didn’t dare move. Instead, I sat, curled up next to my grandmother, holding her tight to me, the feel of warm, slick liquid slowly cooling beneath my body.
“Maci.” Someone was calling my name—a distant voice I couldn’t quite grasp hold of.
“Maci, you have to let go now.” I didn’t recognize the voice, though I had a gut reaction I should trust it, trust them that they’d do what was right.
“I promise, dear, we’ll take care of her.” Their assurances didn’t go unnoticed. Could I trust them? Could I let go and trust someone with my life—my heart? They might as well get the Jaws of Life out, because I’d be damned if I could let go. My heart was already in shreds, so they might as well use their force to rip me to pieces, get it over with so I could join her, be with her, show her how much I truly loved her.
“C’mon now, it’ll be okay.” With their soothing words and the force of their hands on me, I released her, the weight of her body lifting from my arms the only sensation I could absorb as another sob wracked my shoulders.
Through glossy, fog-filled eyes, I watched her leave me. Doctors and nurses moved rapidly, pulling her away from my hold so she laid flat on the floor, a streak of red liquid following their trail, the metallic smell of blood overcoming all my senses.
The feel of someone pulling at my shoulders, pulling me away from her, had me fighting. The last thing I wanted was someone touching me, taking me away. Hands grabbing at me, clawing me, forcing me back… I wouldn’t leave her.
I could barely hear my own words, muffled screams, as I begged for help, for someone to do something, anything. If only someone could do something, change something, make the last few minutes that altered my entire life nonexistent.
Confusion overtook me as I collapsed, my ass hitting the hard linoleum like a rock against concrete. My entire body shook as I watched, dumbfounded as to what had just happened. A faint voice next to me, a warm hand on mine, all were signs someone was trying to talk to me, but I just couldn’t comprehend what the fuck they wanted. They should’ve been taking care of her! Forget about me!
It wasn’t until hands wrapped around my head, lacing in my hair and holding me, that I realized I’d shouted the words out loud, filling the room with my cries, polluting the air with my sobs.
“It’s all my fault,” I cried, my face buried in the smock of one of the nurses. “He probably wouldn’t’ve been here if it weren’t for me.”
“Shh,” a voice said, hushing me as she rocked and patted my head. “Don’t worry, we’ll get it all figured out.”
Looking up, I saw my favorite nurse of them all, Patty. Her face was the color of milk chocolate and her eyes soothed me, if only for a few moments, as I stared into their depths, swirling like rivers of honey.
My eyes darted around the room for him while my body stayed glued to the floor, the only way I could stay near my grams. “Where’d he go? That bastard! Where’d he go?” I shouted, unable to keep my voice reined in, unwilling to keep my volume down as my eyes searched for his large frame.
“He’s out in the hall, Maci. Don’t worry. He didn’t leave.” Her words calmed me marginally, though I really wanted them to know he was the one who did this. He was the one who pushed her. “Let’s just focus on your grandmother right now, okay? Just breathe and focus on her.”
Lethargically, my gaze traveled back to her lifeless body, the vision of doctors and nurses swarming her like a pile of ants, the sight of it consuming my every thought. I knew by the amount of blood covering the floor that it was no use. I knew enough to know it was a futile attempt to save a woman who could barely remember her own name.
Glancing down at my hands, my peach skin covered in shades of red, I couldn’t help but cry. Evidence of her death was littered all over my hands, metaphorically and physically. If I hadn’t lured Big Jim into her room, if I hadn’t set up this meeting, none of this would’ve happened. She’d still be alive if it weren’t for me. She’d still be sitting here, staring out at her garden, forgetting things minute by minute, if it weren’t for me!
Taking my tattered shirt in my hands, I tried desperately to wipe the blood from my skin, frantically scrubbing with the torn fabric. It wouldn’t come off. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the crimson pigment off my hands.
“Calm down, sweetie. I’ll help you get cleaned up. Just relax,” Patty cooed, her voice soft, soothing, as I continued to freak the fuck out.
My eyes kept daring back and forth between my grandmother’s prone bo
dy and my purse, the connection of the two on the tip of my tongue, my emotions unable to allow me to spit out what was on my mind.
I could save her. I mean, not physically, but I could tell them what happened. I could show them, if I could just get the words out to tell them… then I could show them.
Police entering the room had my head spinning before I could comprehend what was happening, my bloody hands being put into cuffs like I was some kind of criminal, Patty’s voice the last I heard as I was being hauled out the door.
*****
“Ms. Layne, we need your testimony,” a voice boomed, echoing off the walls of the small, gray room that seemed to dull my senses.
She was gone. The only thing that kept repeating in my mind was that she was gone.
“She’s gone,” I whispered, repeating the thoughts in my head like a broken record, my memory unable to rid itself of the visions that were plaguing me.
“Yes, and we’re so very sorry for your loss. But now, we need to know what happened. Mr. Celeste is saying you were responsible for his mother’s death. So, can you tell us how your grandmother was injured?” The man’s voice was soothing, yet demanding, all in the same string of words. It took a minute to wrap my head around it, but I finally realized what he was asking for.
“My purse!” I exclaimed, my body going rigid at the thought it was left at the retirement home. It held the single most important clue to this whole fucking mess, and I was careless enough to leave it behind.
Again, to my horror, more tears streamed down my face, my body shaking with the sobs, incapable of controlling myself.
“We have it, Maci, don’t worry about the purse. If you can just tell me what happened in your grandmother’s room, it’d clear up a lot of this,” he said, touching my hand to soothe me. I pulled away, cringing at his touch. My hands were still stained, still tinted with Grams’ blood. Allowing him to touch it would be a sacrilege of the highest power.