Heart Unseen

by Andrew Grey

  “Let’s get a drink,” Trevor offered, then took him by the hand and led him back to the table. “What can I get for you?” He sat down, and Brian plopped onto his lap.

  “A beer, please.” Brian leaned against Trevor’s chest, clearly marking out his territory, because when Dean approached, Trevor might have seen Brian bare his teeth.

  Trevor ordered the drink, and when it came, he motioned for Brian to sit in the next chair. The kid downed the beer in two gulps, like a large shot, and then stood back up, pulling Trevor toward the dance floor.

  “I think I’m fine for now.”

  Brian pouted, and after a while, went off in search of other quarry.

  “What’s with you? He was in heat,” Dean said, watching as Brian danced with someone else. “He wanted you bad.”

  Trevor ignored the question and lifted his glass.

  “I give up.” Dean left the table in search of someone to catch his eye, and Trevor groaned under his breath.

  “Okay. What’s going on?” Brent leaned forward, his gaze burrowing into Trevor’s. “Something isn’t right here.”

  “Okay. Do you want to know? What was happening was nothing. Not a damn thing. That kid was all over me like a rash and he wanted it, I can tell. But nothing was happening. He was practically climbing me and… nothing.” Trevor shook his head. “I’m pretty damn scared if you want to know the truth. What if things have stopped working and never start again?”

  “Bullshit,” Brent said with a grin.

  “It’s not.”

  “So maybe you didn’t find him attractive.”

  “He was damn near a contortionist. What’s not to find attractive? I just don’t get it.” Trevor finished his drink and turned to where Dean was practically having sex on the dance floor. “See, that’s what I used to do, and now….” He shook his head again.

  “Maybe you’re growing up. We all have to—we can’t be kids the rest of our lives. Dean is having his shot at the man buffet after the disaster with Dumbfuck. Maybe you want more than just a night in the sack with some guy.”

  “Don’t say that.” The truth was, he didn’t have a clue what was going on, but his reputation was going to start to suffer if he didn’t figure it out damn fast. “I know what I want and it hasn’t changed. My life is damn near perfect right now, and I don’t want it in any way different. I have a successful business and can do just about whatever I want. I never want for company….” He raked his gaze over the dance floor, but once again it did nothing for him.

  Brent shrugged. “If you expect me to have answers, you’re barking up the wrong tree. If it wasn’t for this foot, I’d have asked that guy to dance… and maybe to go have some fun if he was willing. But we aren’t talking about me. It’s you who seems out of sorts. So tell me what’s got your panties in a bunch.”

  “Brent… nothing. I’m fine. Maybe I’m just not in the mood or something tonight.”

  “You… not in the mood… for someone like him.” Brent pointed, and Trevor followed his gaze to where Brian had his legs wrapped around some guy and they were practically fucking right there on the floor. “He’s a bundle of energy, and if he’d have looked at me, I’d have figured out a way to make him happy… and scream his lungs out. What I’m wondering is why you aren’t.”

  “I wish I knew.”

  “So something or someone has finally gotten past those mile-high walls you’ve put up.”

  “Come on.”

  “I’m serious. Is it that guy from the other night? The one you couldn’t stop looking at?” Brent set down his glass and leaned a little closer.

  “His name’s James,” Trevor said.

  “Okay. Tell me. That guy right over there—the one in the yellow. You went home with him about two weeks ago. What’s his name?”

  Trevor looked where Brent was pointing. The guy seemed familiar, but Trevor shrugged. He didn’t remember much about him at all.

  “What about him over there?”

  Again Trevor shrugged.

  “You’ve fucked half the guys in Milwaukee, and yet you can’t remember the name of a single one of them. But you’re getting hot under the collar because I didn’t use the name of the guy you first met two days ago and then apparently again yesterday. Have you been to bed with him?”

  “Of course not,” Trevor answered.

  “That’s interesting. Why wouldn’t you take him to bed? You do every other guy you meet. Hello, your usual MO is, the guy tells you his name and ten minutes later you’re fucking.”

  “Most of the guys who catch my interest aren’t blind.” Fuck! Trevor should learn to keep his damned mouth shut.

  “So you like this guy… more than just for sex.” Brent smiled with a self-satisfied curl to his lips that made Trevor want to smack him into next week.

  “I don’t date and you know it. You also know why, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to go through all that again.” Trevor drained his glass and held it up so the server could see him. He got a nod and set down his glass once again.

  “Better take it easy or I’ll have to drive you home.”

  “I’ve had one, and this will be my last,” Trevor promised, even though he wanted to get drunk and forget all about this relationship, dating, other-people-getting-to-know-him crap. His way was easier, and he was so much happier. Fuck ’em and leave ’em had worked for him for years now. Why mess with a good thing?

  “Does that go for drinks or relationships with men?” Brent pressed.

  “Both.” The server brought his drink, and Trevor asked for a glass of water and a cup of coffee as well. He needed to find something else to drink if they planned to be here for very much longer. Maybe Dean would find the guy he wanted for the evening and then they could all go. It was Sunday evening and he had a very busy week ahead of him, including overseeing the Brown Deer location until he could decide who he wanted to run it for him. “Let’s talk about something else.”

  “Work?” Brent asked, and Trevor growled. “I guess that’s a sore subject.”

  “I had to fire one of my managers for stealing. So next week I have to go through the shop and books to find out exactly how much he stole so I can press charges and nail his ass to the wall.” Trevor wanted to toss back his drink and try to forget the betrayal involved. Yes, the money was probably long gone and he was going to have to eat the losses. He knew something had been wrong and hoped he caught it pretty quickly. But what hurt worse was the fact that he’d given Alan his first break, putting him to work as a mechanic, encouraging him, and then rewarding him with a manager’s position. And the asshole had stolen from him.

  “Why don’t you call Ricky from the club to help? He’s an accountant, and he can probably make quick sense of what’s going on for you. Didn’t he help you set up the systems you use for the business?”

  “He did. But Ricky is up to his eyes in work, and his wife is expecting their, like, eightieth kid or something. He was the first one I called. He said he could try to help me next week, but I don’t want this to sit. So I’m going to gather as much information as I can to hand to the police, and then Ricky can look deeper and help me build in safeguards for the future.” He hated this sort of thing. Trevor had thought that all of the guys who worked for him were loyal. At some point he’d helped each of them, and he worked closely with all his guys.

  “I’m sorry about all this, but I think I know someone who can replace your lost manager.”

  “Who?”

  “Me.”

  At first Trevor thought Brent was kidding, but his expression was dead serious. “You know I know cars, and I know basic things about business. And I have contacts at all the car clubs, as well as bike clubs. You also know I’d never steal from you, and I need a job because where I’m working is killing me. This is the first weekend I’ve had off in six weeks. They’re just wearing me out.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Yeah. I need something better.” Brent sounded at the end of his rope.

/>   “I’ll be at the Brown Deer garage for most of the week. Stop in and you can meet the guys and we’ll talk.” Trevor was already feeling better. He hadn’t thought of Brent for the job, but that could be a good fit. He sat back, drinking his martini and watching as Dean continued pursuing some kid, but it didn’t seem to be going anywhere, judging by the way the kid kept looking at everyone else in the room, and sure enough, he turned away from Dean and began dancing with someone else.

  “I’m going to take off.” Trevor finished his water and pushed back the remainder of his drink. “I’ve got a busy week, and watching Dean go down in flames isn’t doing anything for me.”

  “I’ll stop in this week.”

  Trevor drank some of the coffee, which was completely awful, caught Dean’s attention, and motioned that he was leaving before heading out the door. He put on his helmet and got on his bike. He really wasn’t interested in going home right that second and figured some speed might help clear his head, so Trevor headed for the freeway and picked up the pace, flying down the road, not really giving much thought to where he was heading.

  When he got off, he made the now-familiar turns and ended up in front of James’s house. There were no lights on and Trevor wondered if he was home, but then he remembered their conversation about him usually having the lights off, so he parked the bike and went up the walk. When he rang the bell, he heard footsteps inside.

  “Who’s there?”

  “It’s Trevor, James.”

  The door unlocked and then opened, letting symphonic music spill from the house. “What are you doing here?” Judging by his smile, James wasn’t upset by the visit. Maybe more surprised than anything.

  Trevor hesitated, not sure how to answer that question. He hadn’t planned to come here. “I was out for the evening and… things didn’t work out, and my bike sort of made its way here.” Which sounded completely stupid.

  “I was just making a snack. If you’d like to come in….” James stepped back, and Trevor walked into the house and closed the door. He took off his jacket and placed it on the chair in the tiny entrance hall before entering the living room and turning on a light. “Sit down if you like.”

  James walked back through the house toward the kitchen, and Trevor followed him with his gaze, taking in every movement.

  “I’m pretty capable of doing most things I need to, but it’s easier if I know other people aren’t watching me.”

  “Why do you care?” Trevor asked. “I mean, if you can’t see them.”

  The microwave door closed and then the motor started. “My family always seemed to be watching me. My mother and father were trying to help me but had a problem with letting me do things on my own. When they did, they tended to watch me to make sure I didn’t hurt myself or do something they’d have to clean up.” The microwave beeped, and soon James returned with two mugs of coffee and handed one to Trevor. James set the other one on the table and returned to the kitchen. “I’m really not much of a cook, so what I have are things I get at the store. Mrs. Ledbetter scolds me all the time, but actual from-scratch cooking is hard for me. Mrs. L always brings things by when she cooks, so I have great soups and things.”

  The scent of popcorn filled the house, and James returned with a bowl, which he also set on the table, next to the mug, without touching it.

  “You remember where everything is.”

  “Of course. This is my space and I know everything about it. I can go into the basement and find exactly what’s down there, which isn’t much besides the washer and dryer. But I know it very well. The same with my attic.” James sat in the other chair and reached for the bowl to hand it to Trevor. Then he got his mug and sipped from it. “Are you comfortable?”

  “Yes.” Trevor smiled.

  “I sometimes forget that others can’t see in the dark like me. Did you turn on any lights?”

  “Yes. The one by the door here.”

  “Good. I like to leave that one on. I thought it was. Sometimes it’s hard for me to know.”

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything by coming here.”

  “I was just listening to music.” James stood again and went into one of the side rooms and the music stopped. It hadn’t been that loud, but the house seemed bigger now that it was quiet. “What did you have planned for tonight?” he asked as he returned to his chair.

  “Well, I was out with Dean and Brent, but….” He shrugged before realizing James couldn’t see him. “I kept thinking about you instead of the other guys and I don’t know why.”

  “I liked the ride yesterday.”

  Trevor chuckled. “Changing the subject?”

  “Yeah. It seemed uncomfortable for you.” James reached for the bowl and took a handful of popcorn. A kernel fell to the floor, and Trevor picked it up and set it aside. “Have you been riding long?”

  “Oh yeah. My dad hated that I had a bike. He was all about cars and said I was crazy to ride something that went that fast without walls around me. I guess riding was my teenage rebellion, and Dad eventually got used to it. He also made me take a motorcycle safety course before he’d let me get my license and made me take it every year. I got so good that I could teach the thing.”

  “He did it for your safety.”

  “I know that now. But then I thought he was being mean and just trying to get his own way. I did what he wanted to get what I wanted.”

  “It was pretty exciting. Are you a member of a club?” James smiled.

  “Yes.”

  “Every time one of those groups of motorcycles passes my mother on the freeway, it freaks her out. If she knew you took me home on one, I swear she’d be over here trying to convince me to move back home again.”

  “You do just fine on your own.” Trevor looked around. The house was clean and neat. Nothing extra anywhere. There were a few pieces of food on the floor near the table, probably from when James had dinner, but other than that, it was tidy. “You don’t need someone to take care of you like you were a baby. Anyone should be able to see that.”

  “Tell that to my family. My mother worries about me.”

  Trevor tried to stop the scoff that formed in his throat. “It looked to me as though your mother was more concerned about how things looked to the other people in that room than she was about you.”

  “You say what’s on your mind. I have to give you that.” James set his mug on the table once again. “I like that. Because I can’t see, people sometimes walk on eggshells around me. Either that or they keep their distance. I get that all the time.” James ate a little more popcorn. “You didn’t know I was blind when you came up to me, did you?”

  “Not the first time.”

  “But you did when you came over the second time?” James seemed surprised.

  “Sure.” Trevor didn’t want to go into how he had to meet James because he was the most stunning man he’d seen in years. That seemed too superficial, and Trevor didn’t want James to think of him that way. “You’re full of questions. I was wondering why you don’t have a service dog?”

  “I had one. His name was Chet and I got him when I was fifteen. He was a great companion, but I lost him four months ago. I… I put in for another one last month. It took a while before I could think of getting another.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I had him for eleven years, and that’s about as much time as I could expect, but I still miss him. The funny thing is, I didn’t realize how much I relied on him until he was gone and I was back in the dark. He was my eyes, and in a way, it was like being blinded again. Hopefully they’ll have one for me soon. I understand that he’s being trained, and maybe in a month or two, I’ll be able to work with him.” There was both excitement and nervousness in James’s voice.

  Trevor was trying to understand and knew that all he could do was to try to put himself in James’s place, but he was having limited success. “I wish I hadn’t brought up something that’s so tender.”

  “It’s all right.” James
stood and took the few shuffling steps to where Trevor sat. “Everyone thinks that because I can’t see, I’m as fragile as glass. My mother protected me for years. Hell, there were so many things I didn’t know about living a normal life because I never had to.” James leaned over him. “When I moved out, I had to learn to do all sorts of things everyone else takes for granted.” He shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. The thing that’s important is I’m the same as everyone else and want the same things as everyone else. I deserve them.”

  “Yes, you do.” Trevor shivered when James reached out gently to find his face and run his fingers over his skin.

  “Other people can see each other, but all I can do is try to develop a picture of you from what I feel.”

  Trevor stilled and closed his eyes as James lightly touched his cheeks and nose. He ran his thumb over Trevor’s lips and across his jaw, then down his neck. James leaned closer, and Trevor felt James’s lips against his for just a second.

  “You kissed me the other night. Was that some sort of pity thing?”

  “No.” Trevor’s throat went dry and he could barely speak at all. He extended his arms, wrapping them around James’s waist. God, that felt good and right. “I never do anything out of pity.”

  “Then why did you do it?”

  “Hopefully for the same reason you just kissed me.” Trevor ran a hand up James’s back to his head, then stroked James’s soft hair. He guided James forward to kiss him once again, harder, deeper. If he expected James to let himself be kissed, Trevor was mistaken. James cradled Trevor’s cheeks in his hands, deepening the kiss, taking what he wanted. James’s tongue teased at Trevor’s lips. Trevor was usually the aggressor, but James quivered in his arms, energy pouring off him, going straight into Trevor, adding heat on a level he had never experienced before. He understood sex and even knew what love felt like, but this was something completely new to him.

  Trevor tightened his hold on James, letting his heat soak into him. James was like a firecracker—no, a stick of dynamite. He knew what he wanted and went for it.