by Andrew Grey
“God,” Trevor gasped, blinking in surprised delight, when James pulled back. “Who taught you how to kiss like that?”
James laughed. “I’m blind. I have a great imagination.” The smirk that settled on his lips, with that slight lilt in the corner of his mouth, was completely adorable.
“You do, huh?” Trevor teased.
James wasn’t having any of it. He removed his hands from Trevor’s cheeks and settled them on his chest. “Oh, yeah. For example, I’ve been trying to imagine what the rest of you is like.” He stroked gently. “Yeah. Strong and sexy.” James leaned forward, inhaling deeply, and then kissed and sucked at the base of his neck. “God, this is heady. You smell divine.” He tugged at the tail of Trevor’s shirt and slipped one hand underneath.
Trevor held his breath, arched his back, and closed his eyes as James’s hot hand slid over his belly and around to his side.
“I knew it.”
“What?”
“I imagined you with chest hair, probably black and….” James shivered, and Trevor gasped when James ran a finger around one of his nipples before tweaking it. “Coarse, rough, and exquisite.” James pulled his hand away and smoothed down Trevor’s shirt. Then he straightened, and Trevor opened his eyes. James’s cheeks were full of color and getting redder by the second. “Sorry, I got carried away.” He turned and bumped into the coffee table.
Trevor jumped to his feet, catching James before he could fall. “Hey.”
“I’ve never been that forward before. I practically assaulted you.” James found his feet and stepped back, then used his hands to locate his chair before sitting down again.
“Do I sound like I’m complaining?” Hell, he tried to remember the last time a simple touch had left him so breathless and aching for more. It had happened only once, years ago. Trevor pushed that memory from his mind. That time was too painful to dwell on. He needed the walls around those memories strong, and that meant leaving them alone.
“Yeah, but I should have asked. I hope people would ask me, so I should ask in return.”
“Did you hear me breathing like a racehorse, and the groan?”
“Yeah, but….”
“It’s good.”
“Okay. But I miss things like that. I don’t see people’s faces and I can’t hear nods and head shakes. So much communication is silent. I have to ask, and I’d hope that I’d be asked so I wouldn’t be taken by surprise.”
Trevor sat on the arm of James’s chair to remain close to him. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” he asked, and when James whispered his assent, Trevor returned the kiss he’d been given earlier. He reached for James’s hands, holding them. “You can touch me wherever you want.” He continued holding James’s hands. “Most everyone else uses their eyes, and I know you use your hands, so you have permission.” He released James hands and kissed him gently. “You’re a sweet man, James.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Well… like I said, it’s true, and I wonder….” He let his words trail off.
“What?”
He wondered how he could possibly be good enough for a guy like him. James was kind and very sweet, and Trevor was a dog. At least he was pretty sure that’s how his mother would describe the way he acted. “Nothing. It’s not important.” He silently reminded himself to be sure to treat James with the respect he deserved.
James placed his hands on Trevor’s cheeks. “I remember when I could see and I was at my grandmother’s house. She said I couldn’t have a cookie because it was too close to dinner, but I took one anyway. She did just this with her hands and looked into my eyes. Then she asked me if I took a cookie, and of course I confessed and broke into tears because I had hurt her. I always remember that. So I’m looking into your eyes and asking you what it is that you’re ducking.”
“Nothing. I’m just not sure I can be good enough for you.”
James hands slipped away. “You don’t….” He sounded heartbroken. “You said those nice things earlier, but you didn’t mean them.”
“Of course I did.”
“But you don’t expect that I know my own mind.”
Trevor cleared his throat. “I have no doubt you know your own mind. But you don’t know me.”
Now it was James who scoffed. “You think that I don’t know you’re a player? Lester told me later that first night after you took me home. He said how you behaved, and I said that you had been nothing but nice to me. So is sex all you’re interested in? Is Lester for real? Is that all that interests you?”
God, for someone who couldn’t see, James understood a whole hell of a lot. “I don’t know how to have a relationship.” Not anymore. What he thought he knew had turned out to be so wrong.
“You know that’s bullshit, don’t you?” James was almost livid in his vehemence. “Sounds like the chicken’s way out if you ask me.”
“Ouch.” Trevor put his hand over his heart before he even realized James couldn’t see it.
“Well, having a relationship isn’t that hard. You simply think how you’d like to be treated and then treat the other person better than that.” James furrowed his brow.
“You think it’s that simple?”
“It sounds like a good start, don’t you think?” James had a way of making things seem so easy when Trevor knew they weren’t.
“Are you really sure you want to try to have a relationship with me? As I said, you’re a kind man, but I’m an asshole.”
James laughed, full-throated and rich. “Admitting you have a problem is halfway to a cure.” He put a hand over his mouth but continued laughing and put his hands on his sides. “If you want a cure for that, I have some Preparation H.” He collapsed back in the chair in a fit of giggles that was contagious. Trevor found himself going right along with him.
“You’re nuts.”
“Maybe.”
Trevor reached for his coffee and took a sip, going back to his chair.
“So where do we go from here?”
“Well, I seem to remember that someone promised me some sort of undate.” James started chuckling once again. “That sounds too Seussian for words, or have we dropped down the rabbit hole? I’m not sure which.”
“Okay. I give up. Next Friday, do you have plans in the evening? I’d like to take you out for dinner, and I’ll think of something fun we can do afterward. Maybe I’ll come up with something you’ve never done before that would frighten your mother if she knew.”
“I won’t hold you to that if you don’t really want to go. You aren’t under any obligation to go out with me just because I picked on you.”
“No, I want to.” Trevor shifted so he could see James better. “I don’t want to hurt you and I’m afraid I will.”
James ran his hand up Trevor’s arm, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. “When was the last time you told anyone you didn’t want to hurt them? When did you give them enough thought to wonder that?”
Trevor shrugged, knowing James felt it.
“Just give yourself a break and be willing to see what can happen.”
Trevor nodded. “Okay. I will if you will.” He leaned forward and kissed James. God, he could do that all night. When James pulled him closer, winding his arms around his neck, holding them both steady, Trevor leaned over the chair, wanting to get as close as possible.
He had never held back, not in years. If he wanted something, he generally went for it. Guys were more than willing, and he never had to worry about anyone saying no. James didn’t say no. In fact, he pressed closer. Trevor was the one to pull away, breathing heavily, pulling at his collar.
“I think I should go.”
“Why?” James unwound his arms and sat back.
“Because if I stay, things are going to get out of hand.” He knew how things worked for him, or at least how they had for the last five years or so. “My dad once told me that if you wanted a different result, you had to change the way you did things. So that’s what I’m doing. I�
�ll pick you up at seven on Friday for dinner.” He gently kissed James, then took care of his mug before making sure James knew where the popcorn and his mug were. Then he grabbed his jacket and left the house with an unexpected spring in his step.
THE WORK week was long. In the end Trevor was able to figure out how much money was stolen and work with the police, who were hopeful that his former employee would pay restitution. Mainly Trevor was grateful to have stopped the bleeding.
Brent had come in and was a hit with the guys, so he was going to start as the new manager on Monday. Things were looking up, and he had his date in a few hours.
“Hey, Dad,” Trevor called as his dad walked into the office of the Brown Deer garage.
“You look happier than when I talked to you Wednesday.”
“I am.” Trevor leaned back in his chair, the front legs rising off the floor. “Brent is starting on Monday, and while I figure I’ll still need to spend time here until he gets settled, I won’t be tied here as closely as I have been.”
“That’s good news.” Dad walked over and clapped him on the back.
“What are you doing here?” Trevor checked his watch. The garage his father ran for him should still have been open.
“We finished for the day and Clint is manning the station. I wanted to have a talk with you.” He pulled up a chair and sat on the other side of the desk. His father was in his early sixties and vital as hell. “You know I’ve been seeing Margaret for a while now, and I was thinking of asking her to marry me.”
Trevor swallowed hard, sitting up straight once again. “Dad.”
“I know it’s going to be hard for you, and you have to be thinking that….” His father was rarely nervous, but he certainly seemed so now. “I loved your mother, and no one is ever going to replace her.”
“Dad, if that’s what you want, then I hope she makes you very happy.” Trevor smiled and leaned over the desk. “You don’t need my permission to remarry or anything.”
“I know that. But if she agrees, then…. Margaret has talked about moving to Florida. We wouldn’t do it right away or anything, but I don’t think we’ll stay around here forever.”
Trevor nodded. He should have expected this. His dad was getting older and deserved to take it easier. “You deserve to be happy, and you know I’m not going to stand in your way.” But losing his dad in the business was going to hurt. Not having him nearby was going to be an even bigger loss. “You know I’ll go on, but we’ve worked together for so long….” Hell, he and his dad had done all kinds of things together. “Who am I going to argue about football and hockey with?”
His dad chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll find someone… anyone. A Bears fan in Milwaukee? The whole state is against you.” He barked a laugh. “There are times when I wonder if the business would survive if word got out.”
Trevor looked at the Green Bay signs that decorated the office. He kept his team affiliations pretty much to himself. “I know.”
“And it isn’t like I’m going to be leaving tomorrow. But I thought I’d make sure you knew where things stood.”
“I appreciate it.”
“Anyway, Margaret and I thought it would be nice to have dinner with you. She’s a great cook, so can you come to dinner on Sunday?”
Trevor mentally checked his calendar. “I can. Umm, I might bring a friend if that’s okay.”
“If you want to bring Brent, that would be great. Some of the guys are already talking about him, and if we’re going to be working together, I’d like to meet the guy again.” Trevor nodded and his dad stood. “I’m going to stop by and make sure the garage is closed before heading home. Wish me luck.” His dad smiled, and Trevor stood, walked to his father, and hugged him. They were never ones to talk about their feelings with each other, and his dad wasn’t a big “I love you” kind of guy. But when Trevor hugged him, his dad squeezed him back. Trevor always knew his father loved him and was proud of him. He didn’t need words, because his dad showed it in other ways, like just coming in to talk to him man-to-man.
“Go on and get ready. I’m about to leave here and can stop by to check that everything is closed. They’re just about done here as well, and Rudy can lock up for me.” Trevor was excited for his dad. He’d been alone for a long time and deserved some happiness and companionship.
“Are you in a hurry?”
“I have a date tonight.”
His dad stopped, turning on a heel. “A date—like, a real date?”
“Yeah,” Trevor said, waiting for his father’s reaction.
“It’s about damn time.” His dad narrowed his gaze. “Don’t think I don’t know some of what happened between you and Chase, and that you’ve just been playing around ever since.”
Trevor had no idea. He didn’t talk about his sex life with his father, mostly because he didn’t want to make his father uncomfortable. “Dad….”
“No. Like I said, I’ve known how you were acting and I left you alone. But it’s time you opened yourself up again, and I’m glad you’re doing something more than just screwing around. If you want, bring him on Sunday.”
“Well, maybe not.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and then Trevor had to struggle to come up with an explanation. “This is a first date, the first one I’ve had in years, so….”
His father smiled wickedly. “This guy must be something if Mr. Confidence is a little flustered. I’d really like to meet him.”
“Dad…,” Trevor whined, not ready for this.
“Is there something wrong with him? Are you ashamed of this guy?” His father pinned him with a glare before turning toward the office door. Thank God it was closed, because Trevor didn’t want the entire garage, and by extension everyone who worked for him, knowing his personal business. He had good guys in his shops, but Trevor never discussed his personal life at work. Okay, to clarify, he never talked about the guys he fucked at work. Most of them didn’t want to hear it, just like he expected them to be professional and not talk about the women they were with.
“No, Dad, I’m not ashamed of James.”
“Then what’s wrong? Are you robbing the cradle and dating a teenager?”
Trevor gasped. “Good God, no.” His voice was louder than he intended. “Where in the hell do you come up with this stuff sometimes? James is an adult and he’s my age. There is nothing about him that I’m ashamed of. He’d a pretty special guy and strong enough to put up with me, I think.”
His father glared at him intensely. “Then is there something about Margaret and me that you’re ashamed of?”
Holy crap on toast. What the hell was with his father today? He was starting to wonder if it was a full moon, and if so, maybe his father was going to shift into a werewolf or something, because this wasn’t the dad he was used to. “Where is all this coming from?”
“I’m going to ask Margaret to marry me. Eventually we’re going to move, and I don’t want to leave you here all alone. Playing the field is nice—I’ve been doing it for a while now—but having someone special to come home to is the best thing in the world, and I want that for you.”
“Okay. First thing, I don’t want to hear about you playing the field.” That conjured up images that he’d need brain bleach to get rid of. “And second, you said it was going to be some time before you left. Third, I’m going on my first date with James. Let me see if this is going to have a chance of working out before I bring him home to meet you.”
His dad simply pinned him with another stare. “God, you’re turning into more of an old lady than Margaret.” He slapped Trevor on the shoulder without heat.
“Well….”
“I can see there’s something you aren’t telling me. What does this James have that has you so enthralled?” His dad went back to his seat, sat back down, and put his feet up on the desk. “There’s something—I can see it.”
Trevor paced to the door and then back to his father. “James is special. I haven’t dated anyone in a
long time, and he’s one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever met.”
“So is this thing between you based on looks?”
Trevor chuckled. “No, Dad. James is gorgeous.”
“And you’re not exactly chopped liver in that department.” His dad leaned back. “So what’s so funny?”
“James is blind. He’s never seen me and never will.”
His father was stunned. That was the only way to describe it. “You have a date with a man who’s blind?”
Trevor nodded, still watching his father, wondering what the hell was going through his mind. He seemed on the edge of blowing a gasket.
“The gods have a way of throwing us curves, don’t they?”
“What do you mean?”
His dad rolled his eyes. “You are a handsome man. I’ve seen you turn heads since you were twelve years old. But you’re dating a person who can’t see you at all. Your looks are lost on him. That’s so perfect.”
“You make me sound shallow.” Trevor was getting tired of this conversation and checked his watch.
His dad stood. “You are a little. Maybe we all are. I like good-looking women, but I picked Margaret because she’s wonderful and has a spark inside her that lights up a room. If I’m having a tough day at work, when I see her that evening, one smile is enough to make me feel better. That’s what counts. Looks fade, and Lord knows none of us are getting any younger.”
“I’m not shallow, Dad, and I see James as so much more than just how he looks.” Trevor smiled as he thought about him. “He’s smart, and you should see him. There are times I swear he can see me and yet I know he can’t. He picks up on everything.”
That damn grin was back. “All right. I won’t say anything more about dinner on Sunday. Just know you’re welcome to bring someone and that I’d like to meet the man who put that smile on your face.” His dad walked right past him, then closed the door once again after he’d left. He sure as hell knew how to make an exit.
A knock brought Trevor’s attention back to work.
“We just finished up the last appointment and I called the owner.” Scott was a young mechanic, skinny as they came, but eager as all hell and extremely methodical. He was also shy around other people and generally only talked on the phone if he could help it. Mostly he worked hard and said very little.