by Andrew Grey
His phone rang, waking him up from his nap. It was Marti, and apparently Zack wanted to spend time with his uncle Jimmy. She asked if he wanted to come to dinner, and he accepted gratefully.
James hadn’t been so grateful for Marti in a while. He had been dreaming of Trevor, and damned if the dream hadn’t left him unsettled and sweating to beat the band. In the dream, Trevor had taken him to his bedroom and driven James crazy without ever bringing anything to an end. By the time he woke, James needed either a cold shower or some quiet time to let his imagination run away with itself so he could take care of things.
He decided to clean up as fast as he could and dressed again as Marti came inside to get him. She gave him a hug and stayed close as he left the house. She guided him to her car, and they rode to her and Tim’s house, about ten minutes away.
“So are you still seeing the hunky bad boy from the club?”
“Yeah. We’re having dinner at his dad’s tomorrow night.”
“Ooooh. Meeting the parents, that’s big.” She teased just like she always had, making him feel normal at a time when he felt out of sorts.
“I don’t know. He’s a player. That’s what Lester told me, and Trevor doesn’t deny it.”
Marti chuckled and lightly smacked his leg. “You think he’s seeing you for the sex? Is it your opinion that he’s got a kink for people who can’t see?”
He could almost imagine her smirking at him as though he were being stupid.
“I doubt it. But I don’t understand what he wants. I mean….” There were times when his blindness was a blessing, because he’d never say this if he could actually see his sister. “He stayed over last night.”
“You slut!” she said, half laughing.
“But nothing happened. He stayed with me because I was lonely. It’s been a long time… since… well, since Collin and… it was nice to go to sleep with someone and to wake up knowing I wasn’t alone. He just stayed with me, and he asked me to go with him tomorrow for dinner. It’s all very confusing.”
“Or maybe it’s so straightforward that you aren’t willing to see it.”
“Marti, come on. You saw him, and I got to feel him.” That had been really nice. His cheeks heated. “He’s something else, and I know the other guys at the club all think he’s hot. So why is he going to decide he wants to be with me long-term?”
“Shit,” Marti swore as she pulled the car to a stop. “You’re falling for this guy, aren’t you?”
“No!” he answered, too fast and too loudly for his denial to be anything but an admission.
“You’re falling for him and you’re scared.”
“Of course I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and after Collin… I mean, I don’t know what to think.” His insides felt as churned up as Lake Michigan during a storm. He remembered Marti taking him there, with the sound of the waves and thunder rolling forever.
“Try to enjoy it. If you feel you need to protect yourself, then maybe that isn’t a bad idea until you’re sure. But don’t push him away just because of his reputation. Guys do change sometimes, and they grow up eventually.” The keys jingled and then the door opened. “Come on. Zack is going to come rushing out here any second because he knows you’re here, I’m sure.” She got out, closing the door, and James waited until she helped him out of the car.
The rest of the day James didn’t have much time to think about Trevor. Zack kept him busy. Marti invited him to stay the night if he wanted, but James needed to get home. Sleeping in his own bed in surroundings he knew well was better for him.
Of course, that night, in bed alone, he thought of nothing but Trevor and how it had felt to lie there with him. Yeah, he’d wished they’d done more than sleep, because as soon as he dozed off, his imagination took over and Trevor did indeed make love to him, over and over again, except James woke each time before things reached their climax, gasping and aching for release. By the time morning arrived, he was as frustrated as he could possibly be. He got up early, took a shower, and finally found some relief under the hot water.
The day was quiet, and he spent much of it listening to audiobooks and trying not to get too excited about his impending evening. On the one hand, he was super excited to be spending time with Trevor, but he was also going to be meeting his dad and his dad’s fiancée, and what if they didn’t like him? Granted, from what Trevor had said, Trevor’s dad sounded like a pretty cool guy. And James had learned to get along with a lot of people, so those feelings were probably a little silly.
He needed to stop being concerned about how others saw him. He did the best he could. Still, he didn’t want to look bad in front of Trevor. That was really the issue. He wanted Trevor to like him, because James was falling for the guy, and maybe if he were good enough, Trevor would like him in return.
God, that sounded pathetic, even to him. He put it out of his head and continued his audiobook, taking a space journey for a few hours. He loved stories like that because he was the same as everyone else in them. In those stories, everyone had to use their imagination to conjure the worlds, not just use everyday visual references.
That afternoon, he called his mother just to talk and see how she was doing. He knew if he didn’t, he’d get one of her calls about him never calling her. Then he finished dressing and sat in his chair to wait for Trevor.
His watch told him it was a few minutes after five when Trevor knocked on the door. James let him inside, and Trevor’s scent wrapped around him like a blanket. All the nervousness and doubt that had run through his head for the last few hours dropped away when Trevor stroked his cheek and pulled him against his chest. The room grew warm, and James’s heart beat faster in anticipation of what was to come. Trevor’s heady male scent grew stronger, and James closed his eyes. Not that it made a difference to him, but he did it anyway. Trevor’s hold strengthened and his breath tickled over James’s cheek. He wanted to be kissed and so much more.
When it happened, even though he was ready, the intensity hit James like a two-by-four. The energy behind the kiss was almost more than James could understand. All he could think of was that Trevor truly wanted him as much as James wanted Trevor. James knew that the minute Trevor released him, he’d miss being held.
Trevor deepened the kiss, and all thoughts of it ending flew from his mind. James wound his arms around Trevor’s neck, pulling him even closer, returning the kiss and wondering how he could convince Trevor to forget about everything else this evening. The bedroom was just a short distance away and it was calling to him.
A ringing phone interrupted them, and James backed away as Trevor growled. Keeping one arm around James, he answered the call. “What’s up, Dean? … No, I don’t think so. I have dinner at my dad’s and I’m taking James. … No, I’m not going to come out to the clubs after I drop James at home.” He sounded a little miffed. “Call Brent. … Well, I’m sorry, but I have plans tonight. I’ll talk to you soon.” Trevor hung up, and James felt him squirm a little as he put his phone away.
James wasn’t sure how he felt about the reminder of Trevor’s usual behavior. Yes, he’d begged off that night in favor of being with James, or was it because they were going to Trevor’s dad’s for dinner and not because of him at all? God, James was wondering about everything.
“I’m sorry about that, sweetheart. We need to go,” Trevor whispered, and James nodded, still trying to pull air into his lungs and get his mind running again.
He pretty much forgot about being nervous, especially when it turned out that Trevor had indeed brought the bike, and the excitement of speed and holding Trevor close the entire trip had his heart racing for a completely different reason. The energy thrummed under him, adding to the banked electricity that formed a bubble around them even as they zoomed down the freeways through town.
“We’re in Shorewood,” Trevor told him once they pulled to a stop. “It’s about three blocks from the lake. Dad and Mom bought this house a few years before Mom died. It was he
r dream. There’s a step at the curb and three steps up to the door, with a slight curve to the walk.”
“Trevor.” James didn’t move, holding Trevor around the waist as though they were still driving. He inhaled the richness of Trevor’s scent mixed with the leather, and at least for the moment wondered if he could possibly be presentable. The entire experience had gone straight through him, settling in his groin.
“I understand. I can feel you, remember?”
“Oh God.” There were questions he wanted answers to but felt stupid asking.
“James, I’ve never brought someone home to meet my dad. Well, not since Chase, but that was a long time ago, and it feels like I was a different person.” Trevor slowly shifted, and James released him. “I like you, James. I want you to know that.” Trevor unhooked the helmet from under James’s chin, his fingers brushing his skin, then lifted off the helmet and stroked James’s cheek.
James leaned into the touch and didn’t move otherwise. It was like the world had disappeared, like they weren’t on the side of the street, but in a quiet woods, just the two of them. Of course, that lasted only a few seconds until Trevor’s touch faded and he took James’s arm.
James climbed off the motorcycle, and Trevor guided him up the walk. Additional, overlapping voices sounded suddenly through the now-open front door.
“Trevor,” a warm voice called.
“Hey, Dad. This is James.” Trevor sounded happy, and James smiled just from the warmth in Trevor’s voice.
“It’s good to meet you. I’ll let Trevor help you inside before I meet you properly.” He grew quiet, and James listened to Trevor’s soft instructional patter as he made his way up the stairs and into the air-conditioned home.
“The entrance hall is small, so continue ahead two steps and then turn right into the living room.” Trevor placed a hand gently on the small of his back just to reassure him. There was no pressure on it, but it said everything was going to be okay—which it was.
The conversations in the room ceased and it grew quiet until James sat down, and then the talking resumed again. It was like everyone held their breath to see if the blind guy was going to make it okay.
“Do you need anything?” Trevor asked.
“I’m good. Thank you.” James held Trevor’s arm for longer than he needed to, but he liked the contact and knowing Trevor was close.
“I’m Trevor’s dad, Larry. Can I bring you anything to drink? We have a full bar.” His rich baritone voice sounded really nice.
“Is beer in a bottle possible?” It was easier for him to drink, and if he knocked it over, made less of a mess.
“Of course. I’ll bring you one.” Larry left and returned quickly, pressing the beer into James’s hand. “I’d like to introduce my fiancée, Margaret.”
“Hello, James,” she said rather quietly, and gently shook his hand when he offered it. “I’m so glad you could come.
“Thank you for having me.” He smiled, feeling a little alone until he felt Trevor perch next to him on the arm of the chair.
“The other couple in the room are my son, Marshall, and daughter-in-law, Rachel,” Margaret explained by way of introduction. They both said hello, and James noted their voices so he would know who was speaking to him. Parties, especially ones where he knew very few people, could be difficult, and James always made a point of trying to place names with the voices he heard.
“It’s so nice of you all to include me.” James leaned slightly against Trevor as though he were his strength. “And congratulations on the upcoming wedding.”
“Thank you.” Margaret was clearly a little overwhelmed and entirely happy and excited.
“I know Larry and Mom are going to be happy together,” Marshall said. There was something forced in his voice that James couldn’t quite place, and he made a note to ask Trevor about it later.
“How long have you and Trevor been dating?” Rachel asked.
Trevor put his arm around James’s shoulders and leaned closer to him, Trevor’s warmth caressing him gently. “I met James a little over a week ago. So this is very new for both of us and we’re sort of feeling our way a little.”
“New relationships are so exciting, aren’t they?” she asked.
“Yes, they are.” James took a cautious drink of his beer. The scent of roasting beef coming, he assumed, from the kitchen sent his stomach rumbling a little.
“I don’t mean to sound rude, and if I am, I apologize, but dating must be more difficult for you.”
“Rachel,” Marshall chastised immediately.
“It isn’t exactly easy,” James deadpanned. He’d been asked a lot of questions about his blindness over the years and had long ago decided to be up-front. People were curious, and most just wanted to understand. “For a long time, I thought I’d never be able to find someone who would be willing to put up with the extra burden that being with a blind person can entail.”
“You aren’t a burden,” Trevor whispered, and James stroked his arm. “Dating James requires doing some things a little differently, but he’s worth it.” Trevor squeezed his arm lightly, and James couldn’t help smiling as contented warmth spread through him. He wanted to believe that was true.
The conversation turned to what they did for a living, and Rachel asked a lot of questions about his job. She was an elementary school teacher in Shorewood, so they talked quite a bit about teaching philosophies and methodologies. She was intensely interested in the work James was doing, and it helped put James on a solid conversational footing.
“Do you need anything else to drink?” Trevor asked during a break from talking with his dad and Margaret.
“I think I’m okay.” He smiled to show he was having a good time.
“So you weren’t born blind?” Margaret asked. She’d probably been listening to part of the conversation he’d been having with Marshall and Rachel.
“No. I started losing my sight at about ten, and it was completely gone at twelve, so I’ve learned how to cope pretty well. My mother was a big help for a lot of years.”
“Do you still live with them?” Rachel asked.
“No. I own my own home. I have a neighbor who acts as my housekeeper and helper. She does the shopping and cleaning for me, things like that. Being blind requires that things always be in the same place, and some things have to be labeled. I have a special Braille labeler that she uses to tell me what’s in various cans and containers.”
“That must require a high level of organization.”
“It’s just that everything has its place, and I know what it is and always put things back. If I don’t, I can’t find it again.” James took another sip of beer. “Sometimes being blind can be very restrictive because you have to stay within areas you’re familiar with, at least when you’re alone. Trevor has been helping me get out of my comfort zone a little.”
“Like riding that bike with him?” Margaret asked and then added in a whisper, “I have cheese and crackers on the coffee table in front of you. If you’d like anything, please let us know.”
James nodded, and Trevor pressed what felt like a cracker sandwich in his hand a few seconds later.
“I put cheese and salami in between the crackers.”
“Thanks.” James took a bite and swallowed. This was turning out to be an amazing time. “I love the motorcycle. I’ll never be able to drive or anything, but riding with Trevor makes me feel free in a way. It’s like I’m flying.” He didn’t mention the thrill of being pressed to Trevor and the urge to cop a feel every once in a while. “He took me to the go-kart place on Friday and it was so much fun.”
“He’s a speed junkie,” Trevor explained, and they all laughed.
“I think I am.”
“No one would know more about that than Trevor. You know I’m his stepfather?”
“Yes. He also said you were his dad.” James thought he might have heard Larry choke up for a second, and his voice was rough when Larry continued.
“The first
time I met Trevor, he was four, and he raced up to me and asked if I’d swing him. I figured he wanted me to push him in the swing in the backyard. Nope. He wanted me to twirl him in a circle as fast as I could, and he laughed the entire time. ‘Faster, faster’ was all he said.”
“Dad….”
“Well, you did. I remember when you first learned to drive. You drove like a bat out of hell and were lucky you didn’t get a ton of tickets or have an accident. I worried about you more times than I can count.”
“Trevor is a good driver,” James said.
“How do you know?” Margaret asked. “Not that I’m saying you’re wrong, but it’s an interesting observation.”
“He drives smoothly. He anticipates, so braking is smooth instead of jerky, and at least when I’m in the car, he accelerates the same way. I’m comfortable riding with him. Now, my mother nearly always makes me carsick because she’s impatient and I get jerked around. With Trevor, I don’t have to worry about things like that.” James stopped and caught a soft hum. “Did you just stick your tongue out at your dad?” he asked Trevor.
“How did you know?”
James smiled and sat back. “It’s my superpower.” Granted, it had been the sound, but he didn’t need to tell Trevor that.
“Dinner will be about ten minutes,” Margaret said, and James heard her leave the room.
“I’ll help you.” Rachel followed, with Marshall going as well.
“They’re all so wonderful,” James said, trying to remember if Larry was still in the room. He realized he was. Sometimes it was hard for him to account for everyone all the time.
“Yes, they are,” Larry said.
“How long have you and Margaret been dating?”
“Two years now. We wanted to take things slowly. She lost her husband about five years after I lost Shirley, so we were both a little gun-shy, but ready at the same time.” Happiness flowed easily from Larry and filled the entire house. This was what James wanted, and he turned to Trevor, who leaned closer, their heads lightly touching. “I keep hoping that Trevor will settle down, but….”