by Andrew Grey
“I’m probably a little old for you.”
“No. I like older guys. They know what they’re doing, and I’m looking for someone to show me the ropes, you know.”
Trevor wasn’t interested in being anyone’s daddy. Not now, and he doubted he ever would. “I’ll give you some advice. Go out and have yourself some fun, and then find someone you can really care about.” Fucking hell. What was he saying? He should be telling the kid to have all the fun he wanted while he was young. That’s what he’d been doing for years.
The kid shook his head. “Old people.” He turned away and joined the crowd of guys edging up toward the bar to get whatever grease they needed to lower their inhibitions.
Trevor turned back to the bar and finished his drink. He’d had enough of this for tonight.
“Are you going?” Dean asked as Trevor slipped off the stool.
“Yeah. I’m not really into this.”
“Why not?” Dean caught the bartender’s attention and ordered another drink. “What’s wrong with you, man? You were always so much fun, and now you’re leaving after being here for less than an hour? What gives?”
“I’m not in the mood. You stay and have fun, but—”
Dean grabbed him by the shoulder. “What happened to the Trevor who could get any guy in the club and actually did? You were always my idol. I wanted to be you….”
“What do you want from me, Dean? I’m not stopping you from going out and having a good time. You are free to do whatever you want. But I’m not interested.” Trevor shrugged Dean’s hand off his shoulder, but Dean put it back, more forcefully. “Dean.” Trevor stepped back, and Dean moved with him. “What the hell?” Was he on something? Trevor sure as heck hoped not.
The bartender placed Dean’s drink on the bar, and Dean slid some money over before downing the liquor in a single shot. “Why was I never good enough for you?”
“Come on, Dean.”
“Come on where? I was always around, and you were never interested. I watched you have the pick of the guys in any club we were in. You fucked your way through half the men in the whole town, and when I thought you might see me, some guy catches your eye—and he can’t even see, for God’s sake.” Dean wobbled a little and then seemed to right himself.
“We’re friends.”
“Yeah, I know. You were my friend, but you never really saw me. Why do you think I hooked up with the dumbass in the first place? I hoped you’d get jealous and step in. But no. You stayed away and let me make the biggest mistake of my life.” Dean shook from side to side once again, and Trevor caught the bartender’s attention and asked him if he could call Dean a cab. He must have been drinking heavily for a while now. Dean was drunk off his ass.
“Come on, bud. Let’s get you some fresh air.” Trevor put his arm around Dean’s waist, guiding him toward the door.
Dean put an arm around him and then grabbed Trevor’s ass good and hard. “Damn, I knew it.”
Trevor groaned and got Dean out of the club. When a cab pulled up, he helped him in and told the driver Dean’s address. Then he paid the man and sent Dean home. Trevor stood on the sidewalk, turned back toward the club, and sighed. He was really getting too old for this shit. He ended up walking to his bike and figured he’d drive home.
What he wanted to do was ride to James’s house, make sure he was okay, and maybe talk to him to try to figure out why the bottom seemed to have dropped out of everything he knew. But instead he rode home and got right into bed, but he didn’t sleep a wink.
Chapter 6
“SO HOW is your week going?” Marti asked after he’d answered the phone Wednesday evening.
“Better than I expected, I guess.” The microwave dinged behind him, but he left his dinner where it was. He really wasn’t hungry anyway. “Work is going pretty well.” Once he and Lee were able to start building a relationship, Lee really responded and had taken the first real steps to learning about and accepting his blindness.
“How was dinner on Sunday? You haven’t called to tell me about it. Does that mean it ended exceptionally well?”
“No. It means it was a total disaster.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Everything was fine to begin with. His dad and Margaret are very nice, and Margaret’s son and her daughter-in-law are expecting a baby. It should have been a lot of fun. But Margaret invited her neighbor Peter and his boyfriend because she was hoping it would give us someone to talk with. But the boyfriend was Collin.”
Marti gasped. “No way.”
“Yeah. He met Peter at Mom and Dad’s country club, and I bet he’s using Peter the same way he tried to use me.”
“Did you say something to Trevor?”
“It gets worse. I heard them come in, and when I stood, the chair shifted and I ended up on the floor on my ass. For the rest of the night, Trevor held on to me like I was some kind of kid and going to fall again at any second. Then at dinner, Margaret made a roast, and he cut it up for me so I wouldn’t make a mess. I was so careful while eating, and then I sat at the table afterward with everyone, talking. Trevor left and I don’t know why. But I was alone with Collin talking about his boyfriend’s curated exhibit at the museum. Then after dessert, Trevor couldn’t get out of there fast enough and he took me home.” James sighed. He’d had plenty of time to think all this over. “I liked him, Marti, and I thought he liked me. But I heard whispers, probably from Collin, about me being useless and clumsy, and Trevor didn’t say anything. He just let it go on, and once he could leave, he got out of there as fast as he could.”
Maybe Collin had been right and he was completely useless and a burden to anyone he was with.
“I’m so sorry things turned out that way for you. I know you liked him and thought he could be someone special.”
“Yeah, well, my judgment regarding men has never been very good. I think I’ll concentrate on the people I can help—at least they need me—and say to hell with the rest.” James should have known things would come to this. It was the way things had happened before, so it was destined to repeat. “I mean, who in their right mind—”
“Hold on there, buster,” Marti cut in. “Don’t give me that ‘I’m blind so I’m not good enough for someone’ crap. You’ve used that as an excuse ever since Collin, the asswipe from hell, dumped you and ripped your heart out. I know that jerkoff hurt you, but you can’t let him or Trevor or anyone let you think that you aren’t good enough to find someone.”
“Marti…. You know Collin didn’t just dump me. It was so much worse than that.”
“Yeah, I know. But still. All the more reason not to believe anything that lying sack of crap ever told you. He wasn’t worth listening to then, and you shouldn’t put any weight to what he thought.” Marti paused for a second. “Besides, you’re sounding a little whiny.”
“Oh geez.” James actually felt a chuckle beginning to bubble up. “Horror of horrors.”
“Exactly. So I can send you some cheese to go with it or you can simply move on.”
“Yeah, like there are so many places us blind guys can go to meet people.” Snide sometimes worked for him.
“Smartass. Just relax and let it happen. You’re a great guy with a special personality and a huge heart, so don’t sell yourself short.”
“Okay.” It was easier for James to agree than to argue with her. Marti could give mules lessons in stubbornness when she was up for it. “I need to get my dinner out of the microwave, and then I have a whole evening planned.”
“Let me guess—you’re going to listen to a book and then go to bed.” Marti made it sound like he was the most boring person on the planet.
“Yes. Stories are important,” James told her. “There are lots of places I can’t go, but a book doesn’t care if I’m blind. I still get to go there. I’ll talk to you soon.” James ended the call and got his pasta out of the microwave, nearly dropping it when he burned his fingers. He got a plate and put the dish on it, then took it to the dining
room at his place at the end of the table.
He had brought in a glass of water before Marti called, so he sat down carefully and ate slowly, checking for spills. Mrs. Ledbetter had been in, and thankfully she’d be in tomorrow as well to check on things and do the shopping for him.
James was finishing his dinner when he heard footsteps on his front porch. He stilled and listened. He’d had problems with people deciding that because he was blind, his home would be an easy mark. James got up and found the light switch, flipped it, and then found the others. The house was probably lit up like crazy, but he hoped whoever was there went away. James knew the doors were locked and all, but he deserved to feel safe in his own house.
He picked up his phone and told it to call Mrs. Ledbetter.
“Hello, sweetheart,” she said cheerfully.
“I heard movement outside the house. Can you look out your window and see if anyone is there?” He was starting to be concerned and knew his eagle-eyed neighbor would know.
“I don’t see anyone. Turn on the front lights for me.”
James went to the front of the house and flipped the switch.
“No one is there, but it looks like there’s something on your lawn. Like a sign or some trash. Give me a minute.”
He held the phone as she went outside.
“It’s trash day and a little windy. Someone’s garbage blew around.” She continued moving. “It’s okay. I got it.”
“Thank you for checking,” he said, feeling better.
“It looks like some of the trash may have blown across your porch.”
The wind behind the call vanished and James figured she was back in her house. “Thank you for looking out there for me.”
“Any time, sweetheart. You know that. I’m going to the store tomorrow. Is there anything special you want me to get for you?” She always asked, but anything unusual meant he had to cook it, and that meant extra deliberations and the chance he’d make a huge mess while trying to do it, so he rarely ventured out of his food comfort zones.
“Not that I can think of. Thanks for everything.” He hung up and cleared his dishes, carrying them to the kitchen, where he washed them and left them in the drainer to dry. Once that was done, he put on his book, listening through his phone, but he was growing restless, and even with the air-conditioning, the house grew stale. He needed fresh air and figured he could sit on his small front porch.
James was always careful, but he knew where his chair was, so he opened the front door, stepped outside, and felt his way over. He made it and sat down, listening as the evening breeze rustled the leaves of the trees that lined the street. He loved it out here.
A family walked down the street, the kids laughing, parents talking. “He didn’t wave, Mommy,” one of the kids said, and James waved at that moment, hopefully receiving one in return. Cars passed down the street, followed by a motorcycle. James’s heart beat a little faster at the sound, but he knew instantly it wasn’t Trevor’s. The engine didn’t sound the same, the rumble not quite deep and throaty enough. He rested his head on the back of the chair, letting the warm breeze pass over him. It was so nice to be out, though it would be even nicer if he had someone to share it with.
James nodded off and woke with a start, remembering where he was. The neighborhood had grown quiet, with only the breeze and the hum of cars on Kinnickinnic Avenue. James stood and stepped toward the front door, which was only four steps away. The first two were fine, but with the third step, his foot flew out from under him and he went down. James had learned not to try to catch himself because that would only lead to worse injury. Plus he wasn’t sure how close he was to the edge of the porch.
He came to a stop and pain bloomed in his ankle. James was pretty sure he’d sprained it. He sat up, afraid to stand because he wasn’t sure exactly where he was. He felt his leg to see if he was bleeding and was grateful he didn’t feel any wetness. James cast his arms around, locating a piece of cardboard. He tossed it aside and slowly tried to stand. Pain seared through his ankle and he sat back down, trying not to move his leg. He reached into his pocket, grateful he had his phone and it didn’t seem broken.
“Call Marti,” he instructed and waited for the call to go through. It went to voice mail. He tried Lester and got the same response. “Call Mrs. Ledbetter….” This time her house phone rang and rang without an answer. He was pretty screwed.
James managed to roll onto his stomach and slowly crawled his way to the door. He found it and managed to get it open. Once he was inside, he tried to make it to a chair, but lay on the living room floor and did his best not to move. He needed help and was about to dial emergency when he heard his phone connect. The dang thing butt-dialed every now and then. It drove James crazy, and now he wasn’t sure who it had dialed and was afraid to hang up in case someone answered.
“James?”
“Trevor?” James gritted.
“What happened? Where are you?” Trevor rapidly fired off questions. “I can hear that something is wrong.”
“I fell on my porch and hurt my ankle. I tried other people and no one is home.”
“How bad is it?”
“Bad. I don’t know if I broke it, but I can’t walk on it at all. Had to crawl back into the house.” The pain, intense and getting worse, made him tear up.
“Stay where you are. I’m on my way. Don’t move. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Trevor was already walking and James heard doors close. “Stay on the phone if you like. It will transfer over to my car as soon as I start the engine.”
A door closed loudly, and James breathed through the pain as he waited.
“I’m in the car.” The engine started and there was a blip a few seconds later.
“Can you hear me?” James asked.
“Yes. I’m pulling out of my garage. It’s going to take me about fifteen minutes to get there if traffic isn’t too bad, but I’m on my way. Just relax as best you can.”
“Okay.” James did his best to get comfortable, lying on his wood floor. Moving hurt, but not moving was uncomfortable. His ankle throbbed with each beat of his racing heart. James did his best to calm himself. Help was on the way. “Trevor?” The line must have dropped, which was okay. He could sit and wait a little longer.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl, but then footsteps sounded outside and the door opened. “James.”
“Trevor, I’m over here.”
The footsteps drew close until Trevor stopped beside him. “What happened?”
“The wind blew stuff up onto my porch and I didn’t know it was there and slipped on it.” He felt like such an idiot. “I twisted my ankle really bad. I don’t know if it’s broken, but it hurts like hell.” He winced as Trevor lifted his pant leg a little.
“At least there’s no blood, but your ankle is swelling badly.” Trevor touched his cheek gently. “You’re going to be okay. I’m going to lift you and get you into my car so I can take you to the emergency room, okay? You need to have this looked at.” He put one arm under James’s back and the other under his knees and lifted him off the floor.
“I’m not completely helpless.”
“Sweetheart, your ankle is pretty badly injured and I don’t want anything else to happen to you.” Trevor held him close to his chest, and James wrapped his arms around Trevor, comforted by Trevor’s familiar scent.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m useless or something.” James closed his eyes, and Trevor maneuvered him out of the house and down the walk.
“Why would I think that? You’re hurt, and I want to make it stop.”
James grumbled under his breath, figuring now was not the time to get into things like that. Trevor must have left the passenger door open because he got James right into the seat, and James got as comfortable as was possible, gently resting his injured foot on the floor. Trevor closed his door, went around, and got in the other seat.
“Is the house locked?”
“Yes, and I left one light on inside.” T
revor closed the car door and started the engine, then pulled away from the curb.
“Thank you.” James leaned back in the seat, letting Trevor’s scent, which filled the car, encircle him. He shook his head because thoughts like that weren’t good. “I’m sorry for… well… what happened at your parents.” James figured he may as well get that said so things wouldn’t be awkward.
“Why are you apologizing? I’m sorry Margaret invited that jerk Collin and made you nervous. We were having such a good time before they arrived. Margaret sends her apologies as well.” Trevor slid one hand down his arm and then squeezed James’s fingers. “I missed you these last few days.”
James groaned when they hit a bump and it jarred his ankle. “Why? You acted like I was an embarrassment the entire time. I mean, I know I can be a little clumsy, but I can’t see.” He turned toward Trevor. “I don’t want to be a burden to you or anyone.”
“No, I didn’t, and you weren’t an embarrassment at all. I knew Collin was a source of tension, so I tried to be attentive.” Trevor sounded agitated as he pulled to a stop.
“But you never let go of me the entire night.”
“Because I wanted you to know I was there to support you.”
“You cut up my food.”
“Because I wanted to make things easier for you since you’re self-conscious about making a mess, which you didn’t do.”
“I heard people calling me clumsy.” James hated that most of all.
“And I wanted to throw Collin out of the house when I heard that too.” They began moving again. “You have never been an embarrassment to me. You can’t see. So I tried to help make some things easier. I really like you, James.”
“But why?”
“I don’t know.”
At least James got an honest answer.
“After we left on Sunday, I was confused about what happened, and Dean called, so….”
“I see.” James could picture exactly what happened, which only intensified what he’d already thought. The car hit another bump and he groaned as it stung his ankle.