Heart Unseen

by Andrew Grey

  James hummed. “You know that looks have very little meaning to me. I can remember what some things look like, but it’s been more than half my life since I saw anything.”

  “I know.”

  “Telling me I’m beautiful is one thing, but I don’t have a frame of reference for that. I can’t look in a mirror, and I can’t see you. I know you’re stunning and hunky. My sister told me that, and my mother is having fits over you, so that tells me a lot. Lester also tells me that you’re hot as hell. But what does that mean?” James released Trevor and sat up. “What counts for me is what’s right here.” He found Trevor’s chest and placed his hand in the center of it. “This, your heart, and how you treat me and care for me is all I have to go by. Nothing else matters.”

  “But I want you to feel good about yourself.”

  That one sentence told James a great deal about Trevor, though he wasn’t sure what to do about it, if anything. “The way I’ll feel good about myself is knowing that the fact that I can’t see you doesn’t make a difference. I don’t know how to put it in a frame of reference you’ll understand.” James thought a minute and tried to imagine how he’d explain things to the parents of one of his students. “My worldview is different because I can’t view anything. I struggle a lot of the time to understand how people are feeling because so many cues are visual. So I try to make up for it by listening closely and using other senses. Did you know that when you’re upset, you smell different? You have a slight garlicky scent that comes forward. When you’re happy or excited, I can smell that too, and it’s delicious. Think of it as the candy version of you. If you want me to feel good about myself, then make yourself happy, and you make me happy because you make my world better.”

  Trevor didn’t move. “I smell different?”

  “Yes, you do. Sometimes when you wear heavy cologne, like at the club the night we met, it was like you were a brick wall of scent that meant nothing. But that’s beside the point. If you want me to feel good about myself, then treat me the way you’d want to be treated. You do that most of the time anyway. No one else takes me for motorcycle rides because everyone else thinks I’m incapable of doing that. Who else would have thought of taking me, a blind guy, go-karting? You did. And maybe sometime we can play miniature golf.” James felt Trevor’s confusion ripple through him.

  “How would we do that?”

  “Put something that beeps on a stick and place it in the hole. Did you know that blind people can play baseball? I want to do that too. I want to live my life as happily and fully as I can. I haven’t been doing that lately, but I want to. So if you want me to feel good about myself, then give me something to feel good about.” James blinked because his eyes were watering. “Did I just make a speech?”

  “Sort of, but it was a good one. Now I’m going to put your lips to better use for a while.” Trevor kissed him again, pulling James against his solid chest and then guiding him back down. The cushions crumpled under him as Trevor added some of his weight. Solid, strong warmth surrounded James as Trevor held him tighter, squeezing a little, but in the best way possible. It was easy to imagine Trevor being there for him, protecting him, and James let go of his last reluctance held over from days earlier and gave himself completely to the kiss. His foot might have disappeared, because nothing was getting through the cloud of pleasure that engulfed his mind as Trevor took possession of James.

  Trevor gently pressed his tongue between James lips, and he parted them, giving up the last control and letting Trevor take what he wanted. But what was shocking was that what Trevor wanted was exactly what James needed. He groaned deep in his throat as Trevor nibbled at James’s upper lip, sucking on it gently.

  “God, you taste good.”

  “You too.” James refused to let go of Trevor, pulling him back down into another kiss because he didn’t want this to end. Hell, he even pressed his hips upward, damn near humping Trevor because he was so turned on. He tried to remember the last time he’d felt this alive—and couldn’t. Even with Collin he’d never fired on this many cylinders.

  James unfastened two of Trevor’s shirt buttons and slid his hands underneath, needing to feel him. Trevor pulled back, and James wondered if he’d gone too far, letting his hands slip away. But seconds later Trevor held him once again, this time bare to the waist.

  “I like it when you touch me.”

  “Good, because I like touching you.” James took that as permission and let his hands roam over thick, corded muscle. When Trevor held him a little closer, James pressed his cheek to Trevor’s chest, inhaling his musky scent, which grew more intense by the second. Trevor was excited, no doubt about that. His entire body, from the rigid way he held himself to the intensity of his scent, screamed that to James.

  “How is your foot?”

  “What foot?” James asked and buried his nose in Trevor’s chest, inhaling deeply and quivering with excitement. He located a nipple with his fingers, plucked at the hard bud, and the sound he got from Trevor—pure, deep, musical magic. He plucked again, and Trevor, the huge, strong man holding him, quivered like a leaf. It was an exhilarating experience to have that kind of effect on someone else. James replaced his fingers with his tongue, flicking it over Trevor’s nipple and then sucking, tasting his musky, almost earthy skin.

  “James,” Trevor cried with a needy undertone that was impossible to miss.

  James wound his arms around Trevor’s waist, having no intention of letting him go this time. James understood being nice and even gentlemanly—he’d encountered both of them many times in his life, and they usually hid something underneath. Tonight, he wanted raw and intense, and he wasn’t above driving Trevor crazy to do it.

  “What about your foot?”

  James pulled away, wishing he could stare into Trevor’s eyes. He knew how people appeared in general, but just once, even for only a minute, he wanted to know what Trevor looked like in the moment. “What about it?”

  “You need to take it easy.”

  James sighed. “So you don’t want this.” He should have known that all the talking had been just words.

  “No.” Trevor took James’s hand and placed it on his jeans. It took James a second to realize what he was feeling, and then he rubbed his hand up and down Trevor’s prodigious length. “I want you to know what you’re doing to me, but you just got home and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t. I want you to take away the pain and replace it. I want to know that what you said wasn’t just words.” James practically shook with frustration and hurt. “Remember, I can’t see. I need to know….”

  Trevor leaned forward, gently lowering James to the cushions again. “I think you’re trying to use the blind thing to your advantage,” he said with humor in his tone. “If you want me to, I’ll show you exactly what you mean to me.” Trevor tugged at the hem of James’s shirt, pulling it up and then off.

  James tingled as Trevor’s hot breath kissed over his skin. He jumped slightly when Trevor kissed his chest and then down his belly. James wound his hands through Trevor’s silky hair and caressed his scalp as Trevor went lower. James’s breath hitched when Trevor’s fingers glided over the strip of skin just above his belt. He stilled, praying Trevor would continue.

  Trevor did, unfastening his belt and pulling it off, dropping it to the floor with a chink of the belt buckle. “You’re sure about this?”

  “Yes.” James voice shook and he didn’t give a crap. He wanted Trevor to touch him so badly that getting oxygen in his lungs was totally secondary at that moment. Trevor tugged at the fastener of his jeans and then snapped it open, the pressure of the band around his waist easing instantly. James thrust his hips upward as Trevor parted the fabric, mashing his face into James’s cotton-clad groin. “Don’t tease me.”

  “I never tease, and I do what I promise.” Trevor moaned and reached for the waistband of his briefs. James whimpered as Trevor fished him out. “Damn.” Trevor gasped, and then James was engulfed in war
m, wet heat that threatened to blow the top of his head off. He pulled his fingers out of Trevor’s hair and grasped the sides of his own head, groaning as Trevor took him deep.

  “I didn’t think you’d….”

  Trevor hummed and bobbed his head, each downstroke driving James out of his mind. This was too much to hope for. He had honestly thought that he’d never be touched like this again in his life.

  “You taste really good,” Trevor purred as he paused.

  James heaved air into his lungs just in time to have it stolen once again.

  Trevor’s mouth and tongue did amazing things to him. James flew so high so fast, he couldn’t tell what those things were; all he knew was that Trevor seemed to know his body better than he did. James gripped the sides of the couch, crushing the cushion in his grasp as he tried to steady himself and stop the shaking that threatened to race through him. This was heady in the extreme.

  “I’m not going to last.”

  “Sweetheart.” Trevor gripped him tightly, stroking just slowly enough to drive James wild. “I don’t want you to hold back. I want you to soar. So just lie back, relax as best you can, and let it happen.” Trevor took him in his mouth once again, and James’s ears rang with bells of joy as pressure built rapidly. He tingled all over, and his climax washed over him.

  James stilled, breathing, afraid to move. All pain was gone and he just was. He felt Trevor slip away and then place a hand on his chest, keeping it still and them connected through the touch. James never wanted this to end.

  “You are beautiful. I know you can’t see it, but you in the throes of passion is a sight to behold.”

  “Why?”

  Trevor chuckled. “That’s your favorite question. Maybe you need to get another one. If someone gives you a compliment and tells you that you were the most incredible sight as you tumbled into release, the appropriate response isn’t ‘why?’ It’s ‘thank you.’ Or something along the lines of ‘Trevor, you were the god who made me feel that way.’”

  James snickered. “God, huh?”

  “I’ll accept demigod if you insist.” Trevor stroked his belly. “Everything in life doesn’t have a reason. Some things just are, and when that happens and it’s good, just be grateful for it. The bad stuff will show up eventually.” Trevor leaned over him, the sofa cushions shifting under his weight. “And you are beautiful, and I want you to know that I have never seen anyone like you.”

  “I guess that makes us even, because I’ve never seen anyone like you either.” James hoped he pulled off his smirk.

  “Good one.” Trevor kissed him sweetly and then tucked James back into his underwear.

  James managed to get his hands to work and finished doing up his pants. “What about you?” he asked weakly. His release and his foot had taken so much out of him, he was already growing sleepy.

  “I’m fine.” Trevor groaned under his breath as he stood, and then his footsteps grew distant and returned. A light blanket draped over him, and instantly James was comfortable. Trevor placed the cold pack back on his ankle, and James shivered before letting go of consciousness and slipping into a nap.

  It must have been late, really late, and he really should be in bed, but James was comfortable and moving was going to be an exercise in pain, so he lay still, and as the air in the room chilled, he burrowed under the blanket Trevor had brought for him and slept happily.

  He woke sometime in the middle of the night, his foot throbbing. James pushed the blanket away, gritted his teeth, and slowly sat up. He had no idea if he was alone in the house or not. He listened for any sound at all, but there was nothing. He had half hoped that Trevor would stay with him.

  James hobbled to the bathroom and took Tylenol for the pain, then hobbled into his bedroom to lie down on the bed to let the medication kick in.

  A strong arm pulled him close and Trevor mumbled softly about James still having his pants on. Trevor sat up and stripped him completely, except for his ankle brace, then lay back down, and James moaned as acres of warmth pressed to him. Trevor fell back asleep in minutes, even though part of him was very definitely awake, but that too grew quiet and less insistent. Eventually, once the medication kicked in, James was able to sleep once again.

  “DID YOU call in to work or are you going to try to go in?” Trevor asked, waking James hours later. He had no idea what time it was and reached for his clock, which told him it was a little after eight. “I brought you your phone.” Trevor pressed it into his hand, and James let the school know what had happened and that he’d be in tomorrow.

  “What about you?”

  “I have another meeting with my accountant in an hour, so I need to leave soon.” Trevor sat on the edge of the bed. “I want you to rest. I’ll call you a little later to make sure you don’t need anything.”

  James knew that was best. “I don’t want to sit here alone all day.” God, that was the last thing he wanted, sitting around listening as the hours ticked by slowly. James hated being sick, but being laid up was even worse. It meant being alone and bored for the entire day.

  “I know, and I’d take you with me if I could. But there isn’t a place for you to put your foot up, and you need to rest. I’ll be back after I’m done with work.”

  “Then here. Take a key so you can get back in. But I’d like to understand where you work.”

  “Then I’ll bring you in on Saturday.” Trevor sounded amused. “I bet there will be all kinds of new smells and sounds for you.”

  “Why do I get the idea that you’re picking on me?”

  “Well, I’m not. If you want a new experience, I bet the garage will definitely be one of them. Now go to sleep and get some rest. I’ll come back once I’m through.”

  James had no choice but to agree. “I hope things go well.” He had a feeling it wasn’t going to be one of those meetings where good news was shared. Trevor had already told him things were difficult because of the theft, and he hoped Trevor could work through his problems without them costing everything he had.

  Chapter 7

  “IS IT really that bad?” Trevor looked over the figures, his mind boggling.

  “I’m afraid so. Alan took a great deal of money and hid the theft in multiple places. He had access to way too many places and used them to drain small amounts over quite a long period. The good news is that I’ve found some of the money and was able to get it released back to you because we could prove the transfers were made without authorization. But that still leaves about fifty grand gone. You’re lucky that you haven’t overdrawn payroll and other accounts up till now. But you’re very close,” Ricky, his accountant and a friend since the ninth grade, explained.

  “All right. What do we do?”

  “I’d say cut staff, but the businesses are basically sound on their own. They make money. It’s just that you’ve had someone stealing from you.”

  “I have some savings….”

  “And we’re going to need every cent in order to make this week’s payroll. You can try to collect the money people owe you. You’ve been carrying some people way too long on their bills, and if you can get paid, that would relieve a lot of the issue. But that’s going to mean sending out bills and making some phone calls.”

  Trevor nodded. He was so busy now that he barely had time to turn around, but he had to do it. If it meant saving the business, he’d send out whatever bills were necessary. Maybe some checks would start to come in quickly. Trevor was running out of options. The banks weren’t going to give him a loan. He could start using his credit cards to bridge the gap, but that was only going to dig another hole that he’d need to get himself out of eventually. “Okay. I’ll figure out how I’m going to do that.”

  “Your real immediate issue is cash flow. Don’t buy what you don’t need, and we’re going to have to watch all payments. The big thing is that we have a quarterly tax payment coming up, and it’s going to be close.” Ricky looked down at his spreadsheets. “And that’s taking into account your savings.
I can’t stress this enough: you need cash flow very badly, so no taking the guys to lunch.”

  “Come on. That’s a few hundred a month.”

  “And what if you miss the tax payment by a few hundred dollars?” Ricky’s eyes were hard, as serious as a heart attack. “Once we make up for this shortfall, you can go back to some of the things you were doing. I pay the bills and keep the books for you, but I can’t control your spending. Only you can do that.” Ricky started gathering his papers together. “Of course, additional business will get you out of this jam even faster.”

  “Tell me about it, but advertising costs money.”

  “Not word of mouth, so get some going. Remind your guys to talk up the business, and talk to your satisfied customers. If they’re telling people, that helps too. You’ve got to do it all. Either that or come up with some cash fast.”

  “All right.” There was nothing else Trevor could say. Ricky had laid out what he needed to do, so now he needed a plan to get it done.

  He thanked Ricky, and once he’d left, flopped down on the office chair, trying to figure out what to do. Trevor knew that by working with the accounts that owed him money, he could get some cash, but not a huge amount. Being careful with spending was going to gain him something as well, but that would only take him so far too.

  Brent peeked in the door, and Trevor motioned him to come in. “How did it go?”

  “Not good. But we’re going to be okay. We need to watch expenses for a while. Run all purchases by me before making them, other than parts for customers. Everything else we need to be careful of. Oh, and we can’t extend any more credit. So put a sign at the cashier counter.” He hated doing that, but he had no choice. “I need to work out a plan for the rest.” Trevor picked up the listing of receivables as well as copies of the other information Ricky had left. “I’m going to make a few phone calls and then get out of here.”

  “I’ll hold down the fort and work with the guys. It’s busy, so I’m pitching in to help where I can.”