by Andrew Grey
“That’s awesome.” James extended his arm, and his mother took it. He walked with her to the door and then let go.
“You’re really okay? I hate to see you limping.”
He shrugged. “I’m fine. Things like this happen sometimes. I haven’t sprained my ankle before, but I have fallen and I will again. It happens.”
“Not if I can help it,” Trevor said firmly from behind him.
“Okay. I think I see what you like in this man,” his mother said. “I’ll reserve final judgment until I know he continues to make you happy.” She kissed his cheek and opened the door, then stepped out and closed the door behind her.
“Well, that was unusual,” Trevor said. “Your mother was the same color as a ripe tomato when we came out of the bedroom.”
“She didn’t sound like anything had bothered her. Though that’s how she usually sounds.”
“She doesn’t like me,” Trevor said as he came to where James stood. “Let me lock the doors and we can go back to bed.”
James found the nearest chair and sat to get off his foot for a few minutes. Trevor took care of things in the house and left the room. James wondered where he’d gone until he heard water running, and then he returned to lead James into the bathroom and closed the door.
Trevor slipped the robe off James shoulders and guided him onto the closed toilet. He took off the brace. “Give me a minute.” He stepped away, and James hoped he was stripping too. It turned out his imagination was correct, which James found out clearly when Trevor helped him up, holding him close as he guided him into the tub, then pulled the curtain closed with a chink of the rings on the bar.
The hot water cascaded down him as James stood right under the spray. Trevor joined him, pressing his nakedness to James. “This was a great idea.” Trevor wet was hot, and….
“Turn around and put your hands on the tile.” Trevor guided him around and helped him place his hands.
James lifted his leg to take some weight off his ankle, wondering what Trevor had planned. He didn’t have to wait long. Trevor glided his soaped hands over his shoulders and back, lathering him up before pressing his chest and hips to him. Trevor’s hard cock slid between James’s buttcheeks, and he slid back and forth as he slipped his soapy hands around James’s waist and then down over his cock.
“Is this something you used to do with the guys you brought home?” James asked, and Trevor tugged him closer, sucking his ear.
“No. I never did things like this. They were tricks. I took them somewhere, never my home, and we had sex, and then either I left or they did. That was all there was to it. Something like this, it’s too intimate.”
James carefully turned in Trevor’s arms. “How about Chase? Did you do things like this with him?” James held Trevor, and it took a few seconds for him to notice that Trevor was just standing there. The caresses had stopped and he wasn’t moving.
“Why did you have to bring him up?” Trevor asked rather harshly.
“Because you don’t talk about him. You told me his name once and that’s all.” James reached for where he knew the soap dish was, found a small piece, and rubbed it over Trevor’s chest. He wasn’t going to let him push away.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” Trevor said, with doubt creeping into his voice.
James put his arms around Trevor’s waist, holding him tightly, not saying a word. Then James resumed washing, taking care of Trevor. He felt bad that he’d mentioned anything, but if Trevor was nursing this kind of pain, he needed to get it out. Burying it was not doing him any good at all. “Rinse off,” James whispered.
Trevor stepped back under the water, and James made sure all the soap was off both of them. He loved running his hands over Trevor, and this would have been an amazing excuse, except that Trevor was suddenly mentally gone.
James reached for the taps and turned off the water. “You’re going to have to help me.” He could get around his bathroom just fine, but with his ankle and the fact that Trevor was there, he didn’t want to misstep and fall. That would be really bad. James had fallen in the bathroom more than once and he’d been lucky, but it wasn’t something he wanted to repeat.
Trevor finally moved and stepped out of the tub, leaving James alone.
He felt his way, got out, and located his towel, then got Trevor one from the cupboard. “Are you going to run away?” James asked as he dried himself.
“No. Why would you think that?” Trevor’s voice held a hint of ice.
“Because you already are retreating. I don’t need to see you to know that you have your face screwed up tight and you’re trying to figure out how quickly you can get out of here. Remember how I said you smell differently sometimes? Well, right now, this bathroom smells of heat, damp, and fear—plenty of fear. And let me tell you, fear is the worst smell there is. Worse than skunk.” He crinkled his nose for effect. He used to do that all the time as a kid, and it had transferred into adulthood. It was an expression he knew came across.
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Except talking about Chase.” James knew he was pressing. “Look, do you really want to be my boyfriend, with everything that goes along with that, or is this really just some two-week-long one-night stand?” He put his hands on his hips and did his best to glare at Trevor, hoping he wasn’t glaring at his dick or something. Anything was possible.
“I… yes… you are my boyfriend, and I know I need to tell you about him, but I can’t do it now. Okay?” The crack in Trevor’s voice had James backing up. Trevor was a confident guy, but whatever Chase had done to him had to be pretty bad if Trevor’s voice wavered like that.
“Okay.” James figured pushing him wasn’t going to get him anywhere and Trevor would only resist further. “You know you can trust me with whatever happened.”
Trevor sighed. “I know. That’s not the issue. I keep wondering if I can trust myself.” He bumped James as he dried himself, and James sat down on the closed toilet lid. Trevor handed him his brace, and he put it on, waiting for Trevor to finish. “This is something I haven’t talked about in a long time, and I don’t know if I can.”
“Maybe you have to. I know this whole thing with Collin freaked me out, but it helped me to tell you what happened.”
Trevor sighed once again, and James sat where he was, turned toward where he thought Trevor was standing, waiting for him. “Give me some time.”
James held out his hands, and Trevor helped him to his feet. “I’ll give you whatever you feel you need.” James pressed to Trevor as he opened the door, a wave of cool air washing over his hot skin. Trevor helped him into the bedroom, and James stood to the side as the bedding snapped while Trevor straightened it. Then James got into bed, with Trevor climbing in after him. James got comfortable and lay still.
“I wasn’t expecting to see your mother tonight.”
“Neither was I.” James lay back, thinking of her, which was a little strange with Trevor next to him. “But it proved that maybe I was wrong about her.”
“I think your mom has a backbone of steel. She was ready to tear me apart when I first came out. And I swear if she thought I was going to hurt you, she’d have pounced like a lioness protecting her cub. She may not be perfect, but there’s no doubt she cares.”
“I didn’t expect you to be a fan.”
“I’m not. She’s scary as hell. Your mom is not someone I want standing against me.” Trevor rolled over, tugging James a little closer. “I actually think she and my mother might have gotten along. While they probably came from different backgrounds, they would have found a lot in common. My mom never stopped fighting for what I needed.”
James didn’t understand what Trevor was referring to, so he kept quiet, hoping Trevor would explain.
“I was never good in school. Reading was always hard for me, and Mom said there had to be a reason for it. She pushed and pushed until they found out that I had a comprehension problem. I could read the words, but they didn’t stic
k in my brain. However, if I heard something, I could remember it forever.”
“How did they learn that?”
“Did you have teachers read stories to the class when you were in school? I mean, before you lost your sight?”
“Yeah. It was what teachers did. I think it was to get us all interested in stories.”
“I could read the same story the teacher did and get nothing out of it. But once the teacher read the story, I could recite it back almost word for word. So she got me help, and Mom read a lot of my assignments to me for years. She was amazing, and when she died, I was devastated. Not only had I lost my mom, but my advocate as well. Dad tried to pick up where she left off, but it was harder for him. He did his best, but Mom had done all that for me.”
James thought he might be starting to get some of the picture of what had happened to Trevor, but he was far for having a complete image. There was a lot more to find out, but that had to come from Trevor in his own time. “I understand learning difficulties. I live them every day, remember?”
“I know.”
James squirmed a little.
“How much did you go to school to do your job?” Trevor asked.
“I have a master’s degree in education with a focus in psychology, and I hope to be able to get a doctorate someday. I really like helping the kids I work with. I had people who helped me and I need to repay them, so I decided to become one of them.”
“Wow. I knew you were smart….”
James rolled over so he could face Trevor. Not that it made a huge difference to him, but it would to Trevor. “You’re smart too. You manage six businesses and you’ve made them a success, and I have no doubt that you’ll find a way out of this pickle you’re in and become stronger and more successful in the long run. I could never do that.”
“Because you’re blind?”
“No, because I don’t have a head for business. It’s not one of my strengths—it never has been. I understand money and I’m careful with mine, but I don’t have a clue how to do what you’ve done.”
“It comes naturally to me.”
“See? So does teaching for me. Sometimes it’s hard as hell, and then I get through to the student. I work hard to figure out how I can do that, and once it happens, it’s beautiful. Mostly I work with kids like me. They could see once and can’t anymore, or they are going to lose their sight and we’re trying to help them before they go blind. But each of these kids has to go through the grieving process. They lost something that’s precious to them.”
Trevor stroked his cheek. “If there was an operation that you could have that might restore your sight, would you do it?” He shifted closer.
“It’s not possible. The disease I had attacked the nerve, so my eyes are perfect, but the connection to my brain is gone and it isn’t possible to create another one.”
“But what if it were? They make ear implants for deaf people—what if they could make eye implants and give you cool robot eyes?” Trevor seemed to be having fun with this. “Maybe they could make them purple or something. Anyway, if they made robot eyes and you could have them installed and then you could see once again, would you?”
“Probably. I remember what it was like to see, so yeah, I’d like to have my sight back. But….” James shrugged. “That’s easy to say now. But what if there were risks that could damage my brain when they installed them and I could become deaf as well, or lose my cognitive abilities? The thing is, I’m more than just the fact that I’m blind. I’m a full person and I like who I am most of the time. And on the whole, I’m happy. So why rock the boat?”
“I see.”
“I don’t think so.” James took Trevor’s hand in his. “I went through a lot to be at peace with who I am. First I had to come to grips with being blind and learn to navigate the world. Then I had to accept that I was gay and different from most people in yet another way. My mom freaked out completely at that. Thank God for Marti, who gave her hell. They had a battle royal over it, and Marti actually told my mother to let go of her stupidity, or something to that effect.”
“Wow.” Trevor chuckled a little, and James joined in.
“It wasn’t funny then. But I figured things out and decided I needed to build a life of my own. I went to college but stayed here in town. Sometimes it was difficult, but I did it because it was important to me. The thing was, I had to figure out who I was, and I did that. I really don’t think I want to go through all that again. I’d have to relearn so much.”
“I don’t understand. You know so much already.”
“Yeah, and most of it is from the perspective of someone who can’t see. The last real book I read was when I was eleven or so. I don’t think in words like you use, but in dots on a page. Those are words, not written ink. Yes, I can write, but not well.”
“You can’t read? Like real books?” Trevor asked, but didn’t seem to want an answer. “I guess that makes sense. Your computer has a Braille keyboard.”
“My life is about sound and touch. Taste and smell to a lesser extent, but they’re still important. If I could see, it would be great, but I’d have to figure out my place in the world all over again.” James chuckled. “Sorry, I guess that was a really long-winded answer to a pretty simple question.” He moved closer to Trevor, yawning and letting sleepiness wash over him. “It was probably not very helpful.”
“There you’re wrong.” Trevor held him a little closer. “It gave me a glimpse into your life. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that there’s more to being blind than just not being able to see.” Trevor yawned as well, and James figured the two of them had done enough talking for tonight. “I still can’t believe your mother came in after we’d just had sex.”
James groaned. They were back to his mother, a subject he did not want brought up while he was in bed with his boyfriend. It tended to kill the mood. “I bet she was a little shocked. I think I’d have liked to have seen her expression.”
“Let’s just say, if looks could kill, I’d be frozen completely solid.” Trevor seemed amused, which was a relief. “I bet your mother knocks before she barges in next time.”
“I hope so.” James curled tightly to Trevor, listening as he dropped off to sleep. But James’s own mind wasn’t going to let him go that easily as he wondered what this Chase guy had done to Trevor, and what James would do to Chase if he got the chance.
Chapter 9
THE FIRST thing Trevor noticed was that his motorcycle was no longer parked in the front window.
Brent came rushing out of the shop as soon as Trevor pulled up. “I sold the bike yesterday, and they came in and paid for it today.” He turned toward where the bike had been. “They asked that I keep it in the shop and they’ll pick it up next week. I covered it to keep it from getting scratched or dirty.”
Trevor tried to smile and failed miserably. “How much did you get?” He hated having to sell it, but when Brent handed him the bill of sale, his eyes widened.
“Two people came in and there was a small bidding war, so I was able to get an extra thousand dollars for it. I hope it’s okay.” Brent’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “I know how much you loved that bike.”
Trevor smiled more brightly this time. “Of course it is.” What the hell was he going to say? That selling the bike had felt like he’d been selling one of his own kidneys?
“I know you worked hard for that bike and that it’s killing you to sell it.” Brent walked with him toward the office.
Trevor had saved for over a year so he could have the money for the down payment, and then he’d placed the order for the exact Road King he wanted. He’d hoped to be able to take it cross-country, but his plans had changed as the business had expanded. Then, while the bike was on order, he’d saved the rest, working long hours, often well into the night, to get extra repair jobs done so the bike would be his when he took delivery.
“It’s okay.” Trevor followed Brent into the office, and Brent handed him an envelope with the cashier’
s check inside made out directly to him.
“I didn’t think the money should go through the business since the bike was yours personally. All you need to do is sign the paperwork so we can transfer the title.” Brent passed him the papers, and Trevor checked them over and signed them.
Officially the bike was no longer his.
Trevor tried not to think about it. “Thanks. I really appreciate you taking care of this for me. What else is going on?”
Brent shifted his gaze to the floor and closed the office door. “A number of things, really.” He bit his lower lip. “Alan showed up here yesterday. He made a big show in front of everyone about how he hadn’t done anything wrong, saying that if you’d have paid him what he was worth….” Brent sighed. “I kicked him off the property and told him to go home or I was going to call the police. I figured he was out on bail or something, and that did the trick because he hightailed it away as soon as I picked up the phone.”
“Shit!” Trevor clenched his fists. “It seems like that ass is never going to go away. He’s the reason I’m going through all of this, and now he decides that I’m the bad guy.” He wanted to hit something.
“He’s rationalizing, and he looked like hell, drawn with sunken eyes, like those stoners at the clubs—you know the type.” Brent shook his head. “I did call the police once he left, though I don’t know if they did anything or not. An officer stopped by an hour later and took some information. At least it’s on record that he was here, if that does any good. For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be back, and he’s got plenty of troubles of his own already.”
“Is there anything else?” He needed to talk about something—anything—other than Alan. He’d already put Trevor’s business and financial life at risk, and now the bastard didn’t have the decency to just go hide somewhere and disappear? He had to make trouble. What the hell did I ever do to Alan besides try to give him an opportunity in life? Trevor shook his head because he didn’t have any answers.