Heart Unseen

by Andrew Grey

  “But he was a Catholic divinity student and going to be a priest?” James interjected.

  “Chase said he planned to change his major. It wasn’t working for him any longer. So when the semester ended, he moved in with me, and we were like an old married couple, only with a lot more sex.” Trevor needed to lighten the mood as the walls in James’s living room seemed to move closer. “But there was a problem. Chase’s parents were determined that he was going to be a priest and said they were only going to pay for college if he remained in the program. Then they came for a visit and freaked out because he was living with me. I came home from work to find Chase curled on the sofa in the fetal position with his dad glaring at him and his mother in our bedroom. My name was on the lease, so I told them to leave. Chase came apart as soon as the door closed behind them. I honestly thought they’d come around. I mean, finding out your son is gay by walking in unannounced and realizing he’s living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment with one bed is a bit of a shock. But he heard nothing from them, and over time he seemed a little more like himself and less tied in knots.” Trevor sighed, girding himself for the difficult part.

  “You don’t need to go on if you don’t want to. I think I can see the writing on the wall. His parents forced a decision, and he chose them.”

  “Well, yes and no. His parents did force a decision, only it was bad. They wanted to put him in a quack hospital to fix him. Chase wasn’t going to have any of that. They had already cut him off, but I could pay the rent and stuff, so we were okay. But they kept applying pressure, and after they paid another visit while I wasn’t home, Chase called me in a panic, and I talked him down after his mom and dad finally left. I should have just told my dad that I needed to go, but I was saving up so I could buy the first garage and start a business. I was trying to provide for both of us.” Trevor’s hands shook and his leg bounced on the floor.

  James stood and came around behind him, putting his arms around Trevor’s neck and leaning close. “Have you told this to anyone?”

  “No. Not even my dad.” Trevor closed his eyes. “I came home right after work. It was a Friday, and we usually went out for some fun. To the beach, things like that, since it was getting nice. But I got in the apartment and knew something was wrong. It was silent, completely silent. I found Chase on the floor of the bathroom, his back against the tub, and I knew he was dead. He’d been given some anxiety medication and something to help him sleep because of what happened with his parents. Apparently he took a bunch of the pills. As soon as they heard, his mom and dad descended and took him away. I wasn’t told about the funeral, which was held up in Kohler, and Chase’s parents made it known through everyone they could that they blamed me for Chase’s death.”

  “That’s insane.”

  “Yeah, well. I was nineteen, had my world turned upside down for the second time since my mom’s death, and I think I took it to heart. I did nothing but work for six months and try to forget. Dean and Brent pulled me out, and from then on, I was the man who came over to speak to you in the club. I worked and played and that was it.” Trevor reached for the mug of tea and set it back on the table beside him. “I couldn’t. It was safer for me to just….”

  “Keep yourself walled off,” James supplied gently.

  “Yes, and then you walked though my defenses as though they didn’t exist.”

  “Maybe because they didn’t. You were ready to let go and open yourself up to someone, and I happened to be the lucky guy.”

  Trevor ran his hands up James’s arm. “No. I think it had to be you, and I was the lucky one. Most guys who were interested came up empty, but you were different and I don’t know why.”

  “It’s because you might have shut off your heart, but it didn’t turn from you.” James squeezed him slightly. “Your heart healed and you were ready for something new, someone to enter your life, and that’s why I was able to touch you.” James slid his hands down Trevor’s chest, resting over his heart. “Are you disappointed that I’m… me?”

  Trevor put his hands over James’s. “No. Are you disappointed that I’m some kind of man-slut?”

  James chuckled and shifted closer. “Nope. Just remember that from now on, you’re my man-slut and no one else’s, and I’ll watch over you just like you look after me.” James slid a hand under Trevor’s chin, and when he turned, James kissed him. “I used to think I’d be a burden to anyone I tried to share my life with. They’d end up leading me around and taking care of me for the rest of my life. But I can take care of myself.”

  “You sure as hell can.” About that there was no doubt.

  James kissed him again, and Trevor turned in the chair, deepening the kiss, touching, and then Trevor stood, which led to holding and rubbing and gentle caresses. Then Trevor guided James to the bedroom, where clothing ended up strewn all over the floor and they collapsed onto the bed.

  James ended up lying prone with Trevor’s face buried between his cheeks, and this time James’s begging led to condoms and lube thrust in Trevor’s direction. “I’m ready, Trevor. I need to be together as one.”

  James rolled onto his back, and damn if he didn’t part his legs, stroking his shaft. He was seductive as hell and knew it. Trevor was about to ask if James was sure, but there was no doubt. James was doing his best to drive Trevor out of his mind. The sight of James pleasuring himself was unbelievable and sent heat racing through him like nothing else ever had.

  Trevor sat back on his haunches, watching, grabbing the lube to coat his fingers. James groaned when Trevor touched him, and moaned loudly as Trevor slipped a finger inside, teasing him, getting him ready while listening to a symphony of pleasure that increased in intensity with each passing second and sent waves of desire pulsing through him. He was so close to coming just from watching that he nearly forgot what James wanted. Trevor reached for the condoms, rolled one on, and made sure there was plenty of slick before getting into position, stopping to get close to James.

  “Are you sure? I’m not exactly small and I don’t want this to hurt.”

  James wound his arms around Trevor’s neck, pulling him closer. “I want you to make me yours. This is special. If it isn’t, then stop. But if this is making love, then it’s exactly what I want.” James pulled Trevor’s face closer to his. “I haven’t said it yet, but I think I first started falling in love with you when you came to my rescue with my family, and I haven’t stopped since.”

  Trevor pressed forward, entering James’s body as slowly as he could. “I love you, James.” He pushed deeper, and James hissed softly, holding him tighter.

  “Yes. God yes.” James threw his head back, groaning as Trevor inched deeper. “I love you, Trevor. Now make me yours. Show me that it’s me you want.”

  Trevor stopped, holding James tightly, and then slid the last way into him. “You’re all I want.” James was it for him. Trevor loved him and finally felt whole again. He never thought he could, that there would always be a place inside that would be empty, somewhere only Chase had touched, but James had filled the hole and more. “It will always be you.” Trevor slowly rocked back and forth, holding his James.

  “You need to talk to me.”

  “I know.” Trevor let his body do the talking for a few seconds as James quivered and shook in his arms.

  “This is too much.” James held him tighter. “Is it always like this when you’re with someone?”

  Trevor stopped moving, stroking James’s cheek. “It’s never been like this before with anyone.” Not even Chase, but he kept that to himself. James’s firm grip around him was so incredible, Trevor was only going to last a short time. He was like a teenager again, and James brought it out of him. And it seemed the feelings were mutual, as James gasped and stilled under him, throbbing around Trevor, sending him over the edge as well.

  Trevor groaned, holding James tight, kissing and petting him because, damn, he had to tell him, show him, just how much he meant and how much James had touched his heart.


  “This was an eventful day,” James commented once Trevor had gotten up to take care of things and brought a cloth to clean up.

  Then he climbed back onto the bed, tugging James close. He radiated heat and energy. How James could do that after what they’d just done was beyond him, but James had more energy than before. Trevor closed his eyes and soaked in the heat. “You can say that again.” He didn’t want to go over what had happened. Trevor only wanted to enjoy it and hope it stayed that way.

  Chapter 10

  “TREVOR,” JAMES called a little over a month later. “We need to hurry or we’ll be late, and I get to meet my new dog today.” There had been a slight delay, and he thought he was going to burst. Trevor had taken him shopping, and James had already gotten not only everything on the list that Leader Dogs recommended he have, but also some extra toys and a new dog bed that he’d already placed in the corner of the bedroom where he wanted Penny to sleep.

  They had spent the night at Trevor’s house because it was closer to where the organization’s offices were, and James was starting to learn the house, though they still spent more time at his place than at Trevor’s. James knew that was because it was easier for him, and he wanted to make the effort to try to fit into Trevor’s life and surroundings as much as possible. It was only fair.

  Trevor thumped down the stairs. “We’re fine.”

  “Yes. But we have a busy day. This morning I’m working with Penny for the first time, and then this evening we have your birthday dinner.” He wasn’t sure if he or Trevor was more excited about the birthday party. “I invited my family as well as yours. I know it’s a lot, but I thought they should all meet. I talked to my mom and dad. They’re looking forward to meeting Margaret and Larry.”

  “Is that some kind of code?” Trevor asked as James used his cane to navigate to the door.

  “No. I sort of laid down the law and told them that if they didn’t bring their good manners and get over whatever preconceptions they had about you, then they weren’t going to be seeing me very often, and that got my mother’s attention.” James reached the door and turned to Trevor. “Don’t worry. I think Marti had a talk with her as well, and Mom and Dad just want me to be happy. They’ll see that. Don’t worry.”

  Trevor was nervous, and James extended his hand, waiting for Trevor to take it. He felt the apprehension washing over him. “It’s my birthday.”

  “Yes, and extending an invitation to my family was a nice thing to do. Besides, my mother is all about how things look, so think of the present she’ll bring for you.” James flashed a smile. “After all, birthdays are all about the presents.” He brought Trevor closer and kissed him. “Besides, if you’re good, I’ll have a present for you in bed tonight that will be well worth the trouble.” James wriggled his hips and felt Trevor go hard in his jeans.

  “Let’s go see your new set of eyes.” Trevor guided him out to the car and then drove him up to Leader Dogs. James got out and Trevor led him inside, and he could barely sit still while they waited.

  “James,” a woman said, and he stood. “I’m Holly. If you follow me, I can introduce you to Penny.”

  “Can I bring Trevor?”

  “Of course.” She took his arm and gently guided him, giving him directions the entire time until he was in a room and a gentle, wet nose pressed into his hand. “That’s Penny saying hello. She’s a black Labrador retriever and very gentle. Get to know her a little, and then we’ll put her in her harness and you can start working together.”

  Holly was a nice person and worked with him a few hours. Even though he’d had a dog before, each one was different, and he needed to learn how Penny behaved just as Penny needed to learn things about him.

  “She’s wonderful.”

  “Yes, she is, and the two of you seem to work together well. What I’d like to do is bring Penny to your house tomorrow so she can learn it and work with you there. Then next week we’ll bring you in for training. The two of you will work here for the week.”

  “I went through the same training when I got Chet so I’m familiar with it.” James was so very excited. He had been looking forward to this for such a long time.

  “Then this should go very well.”

  James bent down and said good-bye to Penny, who really seemed taken with him. She was too well-behaved to jump up, but she pressed her head to his hand, and James petted her gently. “You’re an amazing girl, and we’re going to be such friends.”

  “We’ll both see you tomorrow,” Holly said, and Trevor took James’s arm and guided him back out to the car.

  James got in, and Trevor did the same, then started the car and drove back to Trevor’s. James could hardly sit still, he was so excited. “We need to go change for your party.”

  “Where is it?”

  James chuckled. “I asked my mom, and she helped me make the arrangements at their country club. We have a small private room where we can be as loud and messy as we want. I know it isn’t your first choice of location, but my mom wanted to help, and I took that as an olive branch of sorts.” He wanted Trevor and his family to get along, he really did. And everyone had offered to help. “Margaret is apparently bringing the cake.”

  “Okay.”

  James hoped Trevor would be happy with what he’d put together for him. He was a little nervous. James pressed the button on his watch to get the time. “We have to be there in an hour.”

  “We won’t be late.” Trevor squeezed his leg, and James felt him speed up. Once they arrived at Trevor’s, there was little time for anything other than washing up, changing into clothes that Trevor had helped him pick out, and then they were in the car once again.

  James’s mother was waiting for them when they arrived and gave him a gentle hug before greeting Trevor. “Happy birthday. I hope it’s a wonderful one.” There wasn’t a hint of her usual skepticism. “Everything is set up the way James asked.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” James said, happy.

  “Uncle Jimmy.” Zack hurried over, and James knelt to accept his hugs. “Are there presents for me?”

  “You had your birthday a few weeks ago. It’s Trevor’s birthday today. But there will be cake.”

  That seemed to make him happy enough.

  “Your dad and Margaret have already arrived and are in the room,” Marti said.

  James’s phone dinged, and he listened to the message, his lips turning upward into a smile. “Please go on inside. We have another guest who’s arriving, and then we’ll be right in.” James smiled as his mother took charge, herding the others in.

  “Who else is going to be here?”

  “Brent. I invited him. Didn’t I tell you? I asked Dean to come as well, but he said he had other plans.” James patted Trevor’s hand.

  James heard Brent before he saw him, and as he held Trevor’s hand, he felt him tense and knew the second Brent came into view.

  “You bought my bike?” Trevor asked with a mix of anger and confusion as Brent came to a stop and the engine died.

  “No,” Brent answered.

  Trevor let go of James’s hand and moved away. “This is my bike, the one you helped me sell, and you’re riding it, so I’d say that was a fair question.”

  “Trevor.” James moved toward where he’d heard Trevor’s voice and bumped into him. He used that chance to wrap his arms around Trevor’s waist. “Brent didn’t buy the motorcycle. I did.”

  Trevor stiffened as the words sank in. “You what?”

  “Yeah. I bought it.” James held out his hand, and Brent pressed the keys into them. “Happy birthday.” James held the keys in front of Trevor. “I didn’t want to interfere with what you were doing for your business, but I didn’t want you to sell the motorcycle, so I bought it.”

  “And you kept that a secret all this time. Both of you?”

  “Yes, and it wasn’t easy. I kept expecting you to look closely at the transfer papers, but you never did. If you had, you would have seen that the bike had been transferred to J
ames….”

  “And tomorrow we’ll transfer it back to you.” James hugged Trevor. “You need to know that this was a purely selfish act on my part. See, if you don’t have a motorcycle, then you can’t take me for rides on one.”

  “You bought this because you want me to take you for rides?” Trevor seemed amused. “Wait… how can you afford to do this? Do you really have that kind of money?”

  “Yes. I’m not loaded, but I have enough money, and yes, I wanted this to be our motorcycle,” James whispered, and Trevor slowly turned in his arms.

  “I’ll see you inside,” Brent said, and James nodded without thinking.

  “Our motorcycle?”

  “Yes.” James was about to say more as Trevor silenced him with a kiss, but he was determined and continued after Trevor pulled away. “Think of this as our first together thing. Eventually I hope that maybe we can move in together and really build a life for the two of us. I see this as the start of it, us going down the highway with you driving, me pressed to you, holding on to you, loving you.”

  Trevor cupped his chin with his gentle, work-roughened fingers. “I love you, James, and I want the same things. God, I never thought they’d come to me.”

  “Me either. Who’d have thought I’d fall in love with a bad boy.” A tear ran down James’s cheek, and he left it without trying to wipe it away. “And that he’d turn out to have a real heart under the rough exterior?” James kissed Trevor again.