by Amy B. Scher
First part of statement: Even though _______ (state the experience), …
You want to use as much descriptive detail as possible to “call out” the energy of that experience in your system so it can be cleared. You want to bring it up to acknowledge it so it can be processed and move through your system like it should have originally. It might be something like this:
Even though Mom forgot me at school after the dance when I was five and I feel this pitter-patter in my heart, …
If you don’t remember your specific experience but have figured out the age at which it occurred or anything related using muscle testing, use a statement such as this:
Even though something happened to me at age twenty with Mom and I don’t remember what it was, I give my subconscious permission to clear it.
If it’s a past-life or generational energy, you could use something like this:
Even though I have this past-life (or generational) memory of _______ (insert details if you have them), I’m willing to release it.
Tip: Try to mix a physical symptom and an emotional feeling into this statement. Think of using this set-up statement as a way to tell the body about the problem you wish to clear.
Second part of statement: … , I _______ (insert a positive idea).
Here, you will insert any positive statement to balance the set-up statement. You are essentially telling yourself that even though something bad happened (first part), it is okay (second part).
Here are some examples of positive ideas you can use:
• I completely love and accept myself. (This is the most common wording in EFT, but I prefer some of the others, as this one doesn’t always seem fitting to the sentence.)
• I can relax now.
• I’m okay anyway.
• I choose to release it.
• I give my subconscious permission to let it go now.
Once you have both parts of the statement ready, you can move on to the next step.
Step 3: Use Your Set-Up Statement While Tapping
the Karate Chop Point
To begin the EFT process, you’re going to say the entire statement you put together three times in a row as you tap the karate chop point continuously. Use three or four fingers of one hand and tap the karate chop point of the other hand.
You can say the same exact statement three times, or you can vary the wording slightly. As long as whatever you are saying is true for you, it will work.
I always tap with my eyes closed so I can really focus on what’s coming up instead of getting distracted by my environment. I try to focus on the old experience or memory in order to help the energy come up to be cleared. However, if your mind wanders, that’s okay.
Let’s try it now with your eyes closed. Repeat your set-up statement three times. Here’s an example:
Even though Mom forgot me at school after the dance when I was five and I feel this pitter-patter in my heart , I choose to relax now.
Now you are ready to move on to the rest of the tapping points.
Step 4: Tap Through the Rest of the Points
Next, you are simply going to tap through the rest of the points you learned earlier while you tell the story of what happened and vent about your experience. By venting, I mean you will pretend you’re talking to a friend and just let loose! Talk and talk (while you tap) about whatever is bothering you. Try using a mix of emotional and physical sensations in your descriptions—that is, talk about how you feel emotionally and how it’s making you feel physically. It’s best to go in chronological order of the story so you can notice what parts of your experience are extra “sticky” for you. As you tap and vent, look at what aspects of the experience are most upsetting. Here’s an example.
In an experience where you were bullied, what parts of the story stick in your mind? Perhaps it will be what the bully was wearing, the look on another kid’s face when he laughed at you, and the feeling that it would never end. Talk or think about this and tap, focusing on the different segments of your story. It’s only when you address all aspects of the story that you’ll be able to process and neutralize the experience completely.
It’s important to remember that you are simply acknowledging the reality of this experience in order to neutralize or release it. Saying these things out loud will not further embed the experience into your system or make you believe something that isn’t already causing an energy disturbance. In fact, tapping will do just the opposite; it will help you release it. Even if I had you tap all day long, saying “I’m scared of kittens,” it would never become the truth. And if it is the truth, tapping will help c lear it!
Make sure you keep tapping while you recall the details, because even if the experience is painful, you are clearing it. You don’t want to sit there thinking about it without doing the tapping (which is probably what you are typically doing even without realizing it). You already cleared at least some of it during the first part of the clearing, when you used Thymus Test and Tap, which should make it less painful to recall.
This round of tapping might include talking about things like this:
• Concrete details from the experience: colors, sounds, smells, weather, facial expressions, a certain phrase someone said to you that is upsetting, and so on.
• Intangible concepts or feelings: feeling used, being unable to trust yourself or someone else, someone lying, being humiliated, friends ditching you, and so on.
You are just bringing up the yucky energy so it can move out. It may not feel great to temporarily focus on it, but it’s the only way to really clear it deeply. Remember, you’ve been feeling bad about this for a long time as it hangs out in your system, so it’s better to deal with it once and for all.
You don’t need to use complete sentences. You can use phrases, single words, or descriptions that only you understand. Aim to tap about 5–7 times at each point; or one phrase, sentence, or idea for each point. Just talk about whatever is true and prominent for you. That matters far more than anything else. An example of tapping through the rest of the points might look like the following, but remember to use your own words and feelings.
Top of the head— I can’t believe Mom forgot me.
Eyebrow— I remember being the only one waiting and I was cold.
Side of the eye— I saw that red van pull up and thought it was her, but it wasn’t.
Under the eye— My friend Amy was laughing because Mom always forgot me.
Under the nose— I get a pit in my stomach thinking about how scared I was.
Chin— Mrs. Brown saw me and didn’t even try to help. I remember her ugly sweater.
Collarbone— I am so nervous in my stomach.
Under the arm/side of the body— Grrrrrrr! (Noises instead of words are good, too.)
Fingertips— I just wish I had a different mom!
Top of the hand— When you get here, you’re going to continue tapping and focusing on the upset while also doing this seemingly silly little routine that helps engage the right and left hemispheres of the brain using eye movements. It’s been shown to be extremely useful in releasing and processing old feelings and traumas. Do the following as you continue to tap:
Close your eyes, open your eyes, shift your eyes down and to the right (don’t move your head), shift your eyes down and to the left (don’t move your head), roll your eyes in a big circle in front of you, then roll them in the other direction, hum a few seconds of a song (anything will do!), count to five quickly out loud (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), then hum for a few more seconds.
Note: I don’t do this routine during every tapping round. I throw it in when my intuition tells me to.
Now, repeat tapping through the points from start to finish, just one more time. Just talk out loud, tell your story, and vent about whatever comes to mind again.
Note: If you don’t remember the details of your event, you can use the following phrases as you tap the rest of the points and they will work great:
My subconscious knows
exactly what it is.
This event at age _______.
All the details from that experience.
All the smells, sights, and sounds.
All subconscious triggers.
I know it had something to do with _______.
My body remembers the details.
Maybe it had something to do with _______.
What we are doing here is still talking about or guessing about the details of the experience. By suggesting ideas and triggers, the subconscious mind works behind the scenes to find those details and clear them.
If this is a past-life or generational experience, use whatever details you have, such as whom the experience belonged to and more. You can also include the terms this past-life experience or this generational experience to help fill in the blanks.
You’re now ready to gauge your progress in the next step.
Step 5: Check In and Repeat
Take a break, open your eyes, take a deep breath or two, and check in with yourself. Give the energy a little bit of time to process and shift.
Now close your eyes and tune back in to the experience. Rate your intensity again on a scale of 0–10, 10 being the strongest. Notice if either the physical sensation or the emotional rating has gone down at all. Did it improve? If not, it’s no biggie. Occasionally a person will shift with just one round, but most do not. I am my own worst client, as it often takes me many rounds, and then sometimes even lots of processing time after that, to feel a shift in my system. If you aren’t feeling any relief, you’ll want to repeat the entire process again from the beginning, either with the same words or different words that ring true for you.
If you feel increased intensity after your first round, that’s okay. Any change is actually a great sign that the imbalanced energy is mobilizing and transforming. People will often feel a surge in emotion or symptoms as they tap. Again, this is simply because we are bringing things to the surface or stirring them up as part of the release process. They may have been buried deep and are rising close to the surface to be cleared. Hooray! This is exactly what we want.
Do you feel like you’re starting to calm down or feel even slightly better about your situation? Sometimes while clearing, release of energy or improved balance will show up in the following ways: feeling less “charge” about the experience, feeling more calm in your body, feeling more optimistic, suddenly seeing things in a way you didn’t before, or being more disconnected from the experience when you recall it.
Now repeat the head-to-fingertip tapping and venting for a few more rounds. Take a few deep breaths and focus on the issue again. Rate it and decide if you should keep going. You want to make sure this experience cleared as much as possible, meaning it’s no longer affecting you. This will likely require some persistence and repeated tapping, so don’t give up.
Step 6: Check Your Work
It is crucial to check your work. Really test yourself to make sure the experience has been cleared and you’re not just shying away from it and wanting to be done. Think of everything that was bothering you before and try to ignite an internal reaction. When you feel neutral or pretty darn close, you can muscle-test to make sure it’s clear.
To do this, simply ask your body this question with muscle testing: “Is this _______ (name of experience) _______ causing a stress in my body?”
If you get a “no,” the coast is clear. If you get a “yes,” simply keep tapping, making sure you cover all of the details, concepts, and feelings that come up for you. Like we talked about earlier, sometimes we need some time to process the work we’ve done. It’s okay to leave this alone and come back to check on it later. It may be easier after a break to assess if there’s more work to do.
It’s all up to you. You can’t go wrong.
Step 7: Wrap Up
When you’re sure you’ve cleared your experience completely, or you need to take a tapping break until another session, it’s nice to wrap up with some positive tapping. Do not do this, though, until the very end of your session. Tapping and saying positive things all day will not clear anything negative from your system. You need to address things in the way I’ve described in order to do that.
To close with a positive round, simply do one last tapping round focusing on some positive or calming phrases. It might look something like this:
Top of the head— I am okay.
Eyebrow— I can get past this.
Side of the eye— I want to feel better.
Under the eye— I am feeling calmer now.
Under the nose— I rock!
Chin— I’m okay.
Collarbone— I’m okay.
Under the arm/side of the body— I’m okay.
Fingertips— I’m okay.
Top of the hand— I’m okay.
That’s it!
How Long Should It Take to Clear
an Unprocessed Experience?
You should keep tapping until you feel complete relief. I always joke that even though the intensity scale is 0–10, if you can get down to a 1 that will do it! Many people make the mistake of tapping for only a couple minutes and then say, “Tapping doesn’t work.” While tapping can feel like a miracle once you learn and use it successfully, it does often take more than a few minutes to get there. Gary Craig says that the three most important aspects of EFT are persistence, persistence, and persistence! You simply need to keep tapping and working through the process as many times as it takes.
When the energy of the experience is truly clear from your system, you will likely have a more distant or faded vision of your memory. It will feel like it happened to someone else or like it’s just “there now” instead of holding a strong emotional charge like it did before. However, doing step 6 and using muscle testing to check your work is a great way to be sure.
EFT Tips
Emotional Freedom Technique really is a wonderful technique, and it’s easily adaptable. Here are some points to keep in mind as you practice using it:
• Remember that you don’t have to talk out loud when using EFT. This is often helpful, but you can talk quietly in your head if necessary.
• If tapping agitates you for any reason or it hurts your points, use an alternate technique of “touch and breathe.” This means, for each point, you’ll touch it and take a breath, then move on to the next point.
• Remember that in order to clear the emotional energy, you must bring it up. Don’t distract yourself from feeling discomfort during this process.
• Don’t jump into positive tapping until you’re all finished. The positive round is used only when you’re ready to wrap up your session so you can end on a positive note.
• If you don’t feel like the old energy is clearing from your system, ask yourself this question about whatever issue you’re working on: “Does this remind me of an experience from earlier in my life?” If it does, it’s likely that the energy of that experience needs to be cleared in order for you to see improvement in the challenge you’re working on. Simply use EFT on that earlier experience in your life. To do this, you’d create and use a set-up statement and then move through the rest of the points while venting about the details of that experience.
I encourage you to keep practicing and reaching new levels of clearing with your work.
Additional Ways to Use EFT
Now you understand how to use EFT to clear unprocessed experiences. However, tapping can be used for just about anything! I use tapping almost every day for one thing or another. You can use tapping for anything from physical and emotional symptoms to releasing panic and strong emotion in the moment.
While Emotional Freedom Technique is an exceptional technique, clients often get stuck on “what to say” while tapping and are discouraged from using it. While the words you use are not nearly as important as everyone thinks—because bringing up the feeling or emotion is how we actually get effective clearing—this is still a very real stumbling block for some. Here are some alternatives for you to try.
You may often find yourself, in the moment, fearful or upset about something, without the time or ability to do a full clearing session. For these times, a simpler version of Emotional Freedom Technique can be very beneficial. There is no reason you should sit around and feel bad and not be clearing the energy at the same time.
How-To: This simple process involves creating and using a set-up statement to verbalize how you are feeling now, then going through the rest of the points while venting about that same thing. You’ll use the set-up statement three times while tapping the karate chop point continuously. When you’ve done that, simply tap through the rest of the EFT points and vent about it. As long as what you’re saying is true for you, you’re doing it right. Remember to include how you feel both physically and emotionally, if both apply.
If you ever need to use this technique in a place where you’re unable to tap on all of the points, simply put your hand in an inconspicuous place and tap on the fingertip points only.
Utilize Reminders from Your Past
Sometimes it’s difficult to work on a traumatic event from your past because it’s just too scary, you don’t recall details, or you are maybe too detached to conjure up the feelings in order to clear them.
How-To: Use any other means you can think of to bring up feelings associated with what you want to clear. These might include tapping while reading past journal entries aloud, writing out your story or feelings and then tapping as you read and reread them, recording your experience or feelings with your voice and tapping along to that, and playing songs from your past that evoke emotion so you can tap along to that.
Ask Your Subconscious Mind for Help
Calling on your subconscious mind for help is a great way to get some deep clearing, even if we don’t know exactly what needs to be cleared. Remember, the subconscious mind knows everything.
How-To: Recite a short intention or prayer asking that your subconscious mind come to your rescue and help you clear. Something like this will do just fine:
I trust and allow my subconscious to help me clear this challenge. Thank you!