Damaged (Crystal Brook Billionaires)

by Blake, Jessica

  “You really shouldn’t have been driving,” he said.

  I pursed my lips. Could there have been a better way to flee the situation?

  I didn’t say anything, though, and instead just walked into the living room in an attempt to escape both his and Jason’s eyes.

  With all eight of us packed into the living room, there was barely any room to walk. I settled onto the piano bench, and no one made a move to join me there — especially not Jason, who stood as far away from me as he could while still being in the same room.

  Mom assumed her usual position, passing the presents around one at a time. Everyone was polite, doing their job to wait their turn and watch as the gifts got opened one by one. I kept my eyes glued on the tree, trying the whole time to not nervously bite my nails.

  Mom and Dad gave me an espresso maker for my kitchen, to replace the one that had broken a few months ago, and Claire gave me a Dream Phone board game. Despite the awful morning, I laughed when I unwrapped the paper and saw the cheesy picture of two preteen girls talking on a phone.

  “You call the phone, and it gives you clues about boys. You have to guess who likes you,” she explained.

  “This is awesome. Where did you get this? It looks like it’s twenty years old.”

  “Oh, you can find anything on the internet.” She smiled.

  Danny guffawed. “We already know who likes Gwen.”

  Claire smacked him on the shoulder.

  “Hey!” he snapped at her. “What’s your issue?”

  “Guys,” Dad sharply said. “Cut it out.”

  Over Claire’s head, I caught Jason looking at me. Quickly, I averted my eyes. Mom was passing out the next gift, handing Grandpa the box that held the sweater Danny and I had picked out for him. Jason thanked my mother graciously for the silk bow tie, socks, and suspenders. When she mentioned that I picked them out, I looked away and drew back, trying my hardest to disappear into the branches of the tree.

  The pile dwindled and soon there was only one gift left. It was a small book sized one wrapped in blue paper. There was no card on it, but Mom took it out and read the name scrawled on the front.

  “This one’s for Gwen,” she said. “It doesn’t say who it’s from.”

  She handed it to me, and I opened it slowly, edge by edge. Instead of a book, the present revealed itself to be a VHS tape. And not any VHS tape. It was the TV show version of The Shining — the one Stephen King had made in an attempt to redeem the movie.

  I looked at Jason. “Where did you find this?”

  “Downtown, believe it or not. When I was walking the other day I went into this record store and it was there.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “I don’t even have a video player for this, though.”

  “That was going to be the second part of the present.”

  I hated the “was” in his sentence, but it only made sense. After that morning, we weren’t exactly going to be hanging out and binge watching TV shows on a regular basis.

  I felt every pair of eyes in the room on me. The full attention of my family made everything all the more painful.

  “Thank you again,” I whispered, setting the tape down.

  Dad clapped his hands together. “Let’s eat.”

  Everyone started moving for the doorway. I stood up slowly, waiting for the others to go first. Jason hung behind, not so much as taking a step. When we were the only two left, he spoke.

  “I’m still getting you that tape player.”

  I laughed sadly. “You don’t have to.”

  “I know.”

  I trailed my finger across the piano bench’s cushion. “I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t say anything. I looked up to try and gauge his reaction, but his head was down, his hands in his pockets. He had closed himself off to me, but rightfully so. Here I was, afraid that he would be the one to hurt me, and in the end, I was the one doing all the damage.

  He turned and walked away, headed out the door to join the others. I opened my mouth, wanting to say something — anything — but there was nothing left to say.

  The meal must have been delicious, like everything my parents made, but it tasted like dirt in my mouth. Jason kept it together, carrying on conversations with the rest of the table like everything was normal.

  Or maybe he was already over me.

  Good for him, I guess. I’ll only let him down even further.

  More than once I caught Claire and my parents watching me, no doubt wondering what was up. I did my best to chat as much as everyone else, but it was like there was a radio playing in my head, distracting me with its blaring. Its announcer told the story of Jason and me — every painful and ecstatic detail, and it wouldn’t leave me alone. No one said a word about us, or about what happened at dinner the night before, but I knew they must have all been wondering.

  Dessert came and went, and I got busy in the kitchen. I sent Danny away, telling him I could do it all on my own. And I did. I scrubbed down the counters and washed dishes like I’d been possessed by the spirit of Mr. Clean.

  And then I stood in there for at least ten extra minutes, banging a pot around every once in a while to make it sound like I was still busy.

  When Claire came in, she took me by surprise. I jumped and grabbed a dish towel, then began frantically wiping the countertop.

  “Why are you still in here?” she asked, grabbing a glass and getting some water from the fridge.

  “I was finishing the dishes.”

  She looked over my shoulder at the immaculate sink. “Okay. Whatever. Dad said we can go try and get your car out now.”

  “Who’s we?”

  “Me and Dad, plus you.”

  “Oh. Not Jason?”

  She finished her water and set the glass down on the counter. “Nope. So does that mean you can come?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, throwing the dish towel down. “I can come. It’s my car.”

  “And you’re the one who wrecked it.”

  “Ha ha,” I dryly said. “I didn’t wreck it. It ran off the road.”

  We got bundled up in our hats and jackets, the TV blaring from the living room as Grandma and Grandpa undoubtedly watched another cheesy Christmas movie.

  Dad’s truck was already running, its lights on. Claire opened the door to the cab and climbed into the back seat. I followed, momentarily taken aback by the presence of Jason sitting next to her.

  I trained my eyes on my sister, but she pointedly looked away.

  Clenching my teeth, I settled in next to my dad and jerked the seat belt down tight. What was Claire’s plan exactly? Did she think once I saw Jason help remove my car from the snow drift, I would suddenly forget about all my reservations and fears?

  I played with the radio as Dad backed the truck down the drive, trying to find something to distract me. The only thing on was Christmas songs, which I’d gotten tired of days before, so I ended up leaving the dial alone and staring out the window.

  My car looked sad and lonely, all by itself on the side of the road. Dad stopped in the street next to it, then put his hazard lights on. The four of us jumped out, and he went around to grab the heavy chain from the truck bed.

  “Once we pull it out, Jason will drive it back to the house,” he explained.

  “Why Jason?” I huffed. “I can drive.”

  “Yeah, you proved that yesterday,” Claire sarcastically answered.

  Dad raised his eyebrows. “Jason knows how to drive in the snow.”

  “Okay,” I mumbled, stepping aside so Dad could attach the big hook to my bumper.

  “Where are your keys?” he asked.

  I dug in my coat pocket. “Here.” I handed them over, and he passed them on to Jason, who climbed in my car and started the engine. Claire and I backed up to watch while Dad got back in his truck and slowly began to drive along the road. The chain tightened, and my car started creeping backwards.

  “Why are we here?” I asked Claire.

  “Moral support.”


  I looked at her. “You probably think I’m ruining my life.”

  “You’re not ruining your life, but I do think you’re letting the best thing that’s happened to you in a long time slip away.”

  “I know,” I groaned. “I know I am.”

  “You’re just afraid.”

  “Yeah,” I quietly admitted.

  “It’s okay. Everyone is.”

  I thought about that idea, turning it over and studying each side of it. “Really?”

  “Hells yeah. I bet Jason is terrified too.”

  The truck stopped, my car finally free of the ditch. “I don’t think so. I mean, he was at first, but he’s pretty committed now.”

  She shook her head, lowering her voice since he was climbing out of my car. “We can want something and still be afraid of it. But you have to seize opportunities anyway, or else you’ll be stuck in the same place for the rest of your life.”

  “I get what you’re saying, but tell me this. How come you’re so smart, and I’m so dumb?”

  “Who knows,” she replied, lifting a shoulder.

  Dad got out of his truck and wound the chain back up. “Got it?” he asked Jason.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “See you back at the house. Ready, girls?”

  I went for the truck.

  “Shouldn’t someone ride with Jason?” Claire asked.

  I froze. “Why?”

  “Great idea,” my dad quickly answered. “Go ahead, Gwen.”

  My mouth fell open, but neither one of them saw it. They were already hurrying to get back in the truck. Slowly, I turned my gaze on Jason.

  “Sorry.”

  He smiled sadly. “Climb on in.”

  I did as he said. It felt weird seeing someone else behind the wheel of my car, especially when that someone else was him. He went slowly, creeping the car along the empty road so that it wouldn’t slide.

  I nervously twisted my hands around in my lap.

  “So,” he said, but didn’t go on.

  “So,” I agreed.

  “What were you and Claire talking about?”

  “Oh, you know. Hair. Shoes. Who we’re going to ask to the Sadie Hawkins dance.”

  He cracked a grin, and my heart flooded with warmth at the sight. What was I doing pushing someone like him away? Claire was right. I was turning my back on the best thing life had offered me in a long, long time.

  “We were talking about you,” I confessed.

  I saw his chest rise and fall. “And what were you saying?”

  My throat painfully itched. “She was letting me know what a dumbass I am.” The tears sprang into my eyes, blurring the dashboard in front of us. “I was all mad at you for changing your mind about me, and then I went and did the very same thing. I’m a hypocrite.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  I ruefully laughed. “You can say that again.” A tear fell down and splashed against my cheek. “I do know one thing for sure. I love you, Jason.”

  “Oh, Gwen,” he sighed.

  “Let me go on. Please. I’ll be an idiot if I let you go. I’m scared, okay? I’m, like, scared to death. But I know that shouldn’t stop me from living my life. We’ve both been burned in the past but maybe, if we’re lucky, this time will be different. Maybe we’ll make it through our time together alive.”

  His hand found mine, taking me by surprise. With my other palm, I wiped away the tears and gazed over at him.

  “I would pull this car over right now and kiss you till you couldn’t breathe,” he said, “but I don’t want it to get stuck in the snow again.”

  I laughed, the giggles coming out choked as I tried to stop crying but found I couldn’t. Jason lifted my hand up to his and kissed the back of it that sent delicious chills down my arm.

  He took a turn and I realized we were on my parents’ block. Dad’s truck already sat in the driveway, the lights turned off. Jason pulled in behind it and put my car in park, but didn’t turn off the engine.

  Reaching over, he unbuckled my seat belt for me then pulled me until I was straddling his lap. I went willingly, collapsing my weight down against his. Our lips found each other, all the quiet desperation I’d been experiencing all day leaving me in one quick exhale.

  Jason’s hands gripped my waist, drawing me close to him until there wasn’t any space left between us. My head brushed the roof, and my knee bumped into the door, but I didn’t pay any attention to the squeezed space. All I knew was him. His sweetness. His comfort. His solid presence.

  And I knew then that, no matter how afraid I was, taking the leap would be worth it. Sure, life had thrown us both more than a few curve balls. And we’d struck out. But if we hadn’t we wouldn’t be where we were, pressed up tight in a little car on Christmas Day, kissing like the world was coming to an end.

  My butt hit the steering wheel and the horn blared.

  “Oops,” I gasped, breaking the kiss, and smiling.

  Jason ran his palms over my thighs. “I know this sounds awful, but I wish your whole family wasn’t inside that house right now. If we were somewhere alone…”

  “I know,” I breathed. I bit my lip, giving it some thought. “Do you know where the linen closet is?”

  He looked at me with confusion. “No.”

  “It’s in the upstairs hallway. Meet me there in ten minutes.”

  Before he could say a word, I opened up the driver’s door and tumbled out, righting my coat before walking up to the house.

  Jason had his own bedroom, of course, but it was right downstairs, and I couldn’t bear the idea of my parents knowing I was shut away in it with him.

  But the house itself was big enough that we could both disappear and assumedly not be in the same place. All I had to do was make up some kind of excuse for myself.

  I hung my coat up and found Dad in the living room with Grandma and Grandpa. His reading glasses on, he flipped through his tablet.

  “Get back all right?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Thanks.”

  “Where’s Jason?”

  “He’s on his way in. Um, I’m going to go take a nap. Can you just ask Mom to call me when it’s dinner time?”

  “Uh-huh,” he said, not looking up from the screen.

  “Great. Thanks.”

  I turned and rushed upstairs, making a beeline for the bathroom. As quick as I could, I splashed some water on my face and swished some mouthwash around. Then, opening the door softly, I looked up and down the hallway. The upstairs was quiet, which was a good sign.

  My heart beating fast, I scurried to the closet door at the other end of the hall.

  I pulled the door open and ducked inside. Shelves lined all three sides of the closet, leaving just enough space for two or three people to stand in there together — albeit tightly.

  I felt in the dark for the light switch along the wall. The little space lit up, the brightness making me blink. There was a noise outside, and I held my breath.

  A soft knock sounded on the door, followed by two more.

  “Come in,” I whispered.

  The door opened, and Jason poked his head in. “Why can’t we just go to your bedroom?”

  I grabbed him and pulled him inside, then closed the door softly but quickly behind him. “Because Claire might try to come in.”

  “So put a sock on the door,” he grinned.

  I opened my mouth to tell him that girls typically used bras in such scenarios, but he silenced me with a kiss. I closed my eyes and breathed in deep, his familiar scent captivating me. He took a step forward, placing his legs on either side of me, and I bumped into some of the shelves. A few towels fell down, and he laughed against my lips.

  “Shh,” I said, breaking the space between us with a hand over his mouth. “Someone will hear us.”

  He nipped playfully at my hand. “We should have stayed in the car.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Are you forgetting about windows?”

  He didn’t answer. His mouth was
too busy sliding across my jaw and landing on my neck. He found the delicate spot below my ear and sucked gently, eliciting a low moan from me.

  “Shh,” he teased. “Someone will hear you.”

  I grabbed a pillow case from a nearby shelf and threw it at his head. He responded by grasping my waist tight and nipping my earlobe. My hands traveled to his waist, where I undid his belt.

  “Don’t take all your clothes off,” I instructed him. “In case someone comes up here.”

  He chuckled. “Yes, ma’am. And are you sure you don’t want to wait for a more convenient time?”

  “Screw convenience.” I unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. It throbbed in my hands, hot and ready.

  With a growl, Jason pushed my pants and underwear down, leaving them in a bunch around my ankles. He rolled on a condom he’d gotten from somewhere and hooked his hands under my hips, lifting me up, pressing me against the shelves. Holding me off the ground, he pushed into me. I grabbed a tuft of his hair, fighting back the moan.

  We kissed feverishly as we moved against each other, my shoulder blades knocking against the shelves.

  Jason’s breath came out fast and heavy, floating over me and mixing with our sweat. Hooking his right arm under me, he continued to hold me up while his other hand pushed under my shirt and bra. His fingers found a nipple, rolling and teasing it as he drove into me.

  “Now you’re just showing off,” I gasped in between breaths.

  “I haven’t even begun,” he growled.

  A shudder went through me at his words, the chills mixing with the friction of our bodies. I jerked against Jason, an ecstatic wave rippling through each nerve.

  A noise from outside broke into our space.

  I gasped and grabbed his shoulder. “What was that?” I whispered.

  He stilled but continued to hold me up.

  There was a bump again. I held my breath, thinking maybe it was time I pulled my pants back up. Jason was still inside of me, though, and just the thought of breaking apart from him was sheer torture.

  Voices sounded from down the hall, one of them unmistakably my mother’s.

  “Oh my God,” I hissed. “My mom’s up here.”

  “She’s not looking for sheets,” he hissed back.

  We both held our breaths, waiting intently to see what would happen next. The voices grew softer, sounding like Mom and whoever else was with her was walking down the hall.