“Okay, I guess. Addie updated me on all the drama at school.” I laughed, taking another bite.
“Good. Important stuff,” he said, bringing his hand down on my knee.
“So have you officially dropped out of school?”
“No. I just worked a few things out with my professors,” Matthew said, looking out the open window that was letting in a cool breeze Mom thought would give me pneumonia, never mind it was 65 degrees outside.
“Mom and Dad might kill me for doing this,” Matthew said, “but we have to talk about what happened—about Daniel.”
Hearing Matthew say Daniel’s name out loud sent my heart racing. I swallowed hard and looked up at him, not sure where things were going.
“I know,” he apologized profusely, afraid to look at me directly, “It sucks, Claire, but–”
“It’s okay,” I interrupted. “Really, I’m fine. You’re the only one who understands, anyway.”
He shifted back and forth on the bed, like he wasn’t sure how to begin. Every time I thought he was going to say something, he’d close his mouth again and look out the window.
What was going on?
“Matth–” I started, but he interrupted.
“I saw Daniel, Claire.”
I dropped what was left of my scone, and sat up. “WHAT?” Matthew nodded, his deep ocean eyes overflowing with excitement. “How?”
“I don’t know. But he was there. I saw him. I couldn’t believe it, either. I kept trying to convince myself it was a dream, but Daniel really was there. And then he was gone.”
“This is insane!” I said, leaning forward. “Did anyone else see him?”
“No. I mean, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure it was just me.”
“I don’t get it. There has to be some reason you saw him. You really don’t know why?”
Matthew looked away for a second, almost like he was hiding something, but then he laughed, and punched me in the side. “Nope. I thought you would have all the answers.”
“I don’t get it at all.” I tried coming up with some kind of explanation, but my mind was blank.
“What about you?” he asked, almost apologetically. “Have you seen him…since then?”
I shook my head, feeling a lump forming in my throat. “No. I think he’s gone now. I mean…I don’t really know where he is…I definitely can’t see him anymore.”
Matthew leaned over and hugged me, apologizing like everything was his fault. “I’m sorry, Claire.”
“It’s okay.” I kissed his cheek and hugged him back. “Thanks for listening, and for believing, and for everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you, Matth–” but my throat caught, and I couldn’t finish. Instead, I just held onto him, grateful for his solid, unmoving, predictable existence.
Cautiously, he whispered into my ear, “What about Aden?”
“He’s gone, too,” I answered, leaning back and settling down into the covers.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” I answered confidently. “That was the deal, you know—no more Daniel meant no more Aden.”
“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. I’m fine,” I said, quickly dumping the thought, before adding, “How’s Dad feeling?”
“He’s better.”
“What about Felix? I hope he looks worse than you.”
“I don’t know. They carted him off before I could get another look at him. Probably a good thing, though, because not even the cops could have stopped me from killing him.”
“Thinking about him still gives me the creeps. I never want to see him again.”
“I’m pretty sure he won’t be bothering you—or anyone else for a long time,” Matthew answered, smiling, a hint of something in his words. “Attempted kidnapping, attempted murder, assault, drug charges, oh, and even a handful of parking tickets, too,” Matthew chuckled. “I think he’s pretty screwed.”
I felt a wave of relief rush through me, even though I hadn’t worried much about Felix once Aden was gone. It was just comforting to know Felix was fully incapacitated in as many ways as possible.
“Plus,” Matthew said, hesitantly, like he was afraid to look at me, “someone called in an anonymous tip to the police.”
“About?”
“They just announced it on the news today.”
“Announced what?” I asked. Matthew stared at me, his jaw clenched, his muscles tight. He looked angry again. “Tell me, Matthew,” I said, afraid for the answer.
Matthew took a deep breath. “Felix was the one who shot Daniel.”
“WHAT? Are you sure?” I asked, leaning forward, dumbfounded.
Matthew just nodded, like he was done talking.
“I can’t believe it…”
“Claire,” Matthew said, looking down at my other hand clawing his leg.
“Oh, sorry.” I leaned back and tried to relax, still not knowing how. “How do they know it was Felix? Who tipped off the police?”
“Claire!” Addie barged in and shoved her way past Matthew before diving on the bed beside me. “So, what have you two been talking about?”
Matthew slid off the bed and mumbled something about Dad, then left us alone.
Addie fell backwards, sighing dramatically, and then grew uncharacteristically quiet. I hooked my arm through hers and stared at the ceiling.
“You okay?” I asked her.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Did Matthew tell you about Felix?”
“Yes.”
“But…” she paused. “It still doesn’t change anything. Daniel isn’t coming back, you know.” Her eyes were glossy.
“I know, Addie.”
“It just brought everything back so suddenly, like a tsunami. You know, so quiet and unexpected, and then all of a sudden—WHAM!” she slapped her hands together. “And it hits you, just like that.”
She turned toward me, our faces inches apart. Remarkably, for once she didn’t hide behind wit or sarcasm or her boisterous personality. Instead, she simply smiled, and her blue eyes lit up momentarily until the grief she’d never been able to release finally exploded, taking even her by surprise. I grabbed her hand, as the weight of sorrow enslaved by weeks of silence seemed to lift from her, like rain was washing it all away.
“Daniel loves you, Addie,” I said, pushing away her dark mane of hair hanging in her face, and looking into her shimmery eyes.
She whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, “I know.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SUNRISE
Claire
The strange sensation of having just missed something nagged me each time I awoke. I couldn’t seem to brush it off, and finally accepted it as a side effect from too much medication.
Matthew was busy getting ready to go back to school after having been given a few extra weeks to finish his assignments and finals. He hadn’t even left yet, and I already missed him. He was my hero. He had listened and believed me when I had nowhere else to go, despite his doubts.
The night before he left, I asked him about the strange feelings I was still having, hoping for some logical insight, since all rationality had left me weeks ago. He surprised me by suggesting I was still able to sense Daniel. Since, I’d lost that ability, the idea of it didn’t make sense anymore. Why would I just suddenly be able to sense Daniel again, after he’d already faded away for good?
Early the next morning, when the sun was just peeking in through the window, I awoke suddenly, like the breath had been sucked out of me. Sitting up, I looked around the room, and then slipped out of bed, blindly making my way to the bathroom.
My reflection in the mirror was pathetic. In addition to persistent dark circles under my eyes, I was still covered with greenish-yellow bruises and gnarly-looking scrapes. I looked like a Halloween mask. A bad one.
Depressed, I turned around and moped back to my room. Just as I pulled back the covers, my eye caught something on the nightstand, something that hadn�
�t been there two minutes ago.
Lying on its side, reflecting in the sunlight, was my lost ring.
How did he find it?
I felt my knees go wobbly as I picked it up and turned it around in my shaking hand before sliding it back on my finger. Smiling, I fell backwards into bed, wondering how in the world Daniel managed to bring it back to me.
I whispered thank you, hoping he could hear me.
Wondering if I would ever know.
Daniel
They were all together, really together, the first time since my death. Matthew was home for winter break and the three of them were biking up in the hills, for old time’s sake. I followed along—an invisible fourth wheel. I liked to think of it as my last hurrah.
Addie and Matthew threw their bikes down as soon as they reached the opening by the muddy pathway, though Claire looked a little hesitant before following them through the bushes.
“I think I’m too old for this,” Matthew complained as he gripped the rope and stood out over the edge of the branch.
“Wimp.” Addie pushed him from behind before he could protest anymore. He fell forward like a lead brick, swinging back and forth while yelling at the top of his lungs.
“Not bad,” I applauded, though no one could hear me.
It was Addie's turn on the rope and, just like before, she forgot to let go in time, and found herself stuck in the middle of the stream. She dropped into the water when no one came to her rescue. “Thanks a lot, you guys,” she pouted, wiping herself off as best she could.
“I figured there was no way you’d make the same mistake twice—so, sue me for having a little faith in you,” said Matthew, laughing.
Claire went last again. She closed her eyes and held her breath, then leapt off the branch. Her body sailed smoothly across the stream and back to the tree again. But instead of stopping, she planted her feet against the tree trunk and pushed off again…and…again…and again, letting one hand go while leaning backward, her head hanging down, her hair flying through the wind.
When the sun hung low in the sky as nighttime approached, Matthew took the lead down to the stream as they nostalgically hopped from rock to rock. Claire stopped, plunging her hand into the water where I’d found her ring. Addie and Matthew stood back, watching silently… waiting.
Claire looked up at them and smiled. “This is where Daniel found my ring,” she said, pointing. They nodded, probably not knowing what to do or say.
I smiled—glad I’d found it for her again, though this time wasn’t quite as easy. It was a good thing I’d had a little help. I looked at Matthew, who was leaning against a boulder behind Addie and Claire.
Claire turned around and hopped over a fallen log. “Addie, what did you call this place last time? You gave it some kind of name.”
“That’s right. What was it?” Addie asked, thinking. She stopped for a minute, leaning against an old tree stump. “The Secret Walk,” she announced with a dignified look on her face.
“Which I still say sounds stupid,” Matthew said, dodging a spray of water Addie kicked up on him.
“No one asked you,” Addie laughed. Matthew threw his arm around her waist, and she screamed as he boosted her up over the log.
When they made it back to the rope swing, Claire turned to face them, a giant smile on her face. “Let’s keep it that way,” she said. “A secret.”
Matthew remained quiet, probably not willing to become another target with Addie still close behind.
“No one else will ever know about this place,” Claire added mysteriously, her eyes lit up.
“Ever,” Addie emphasized, always loving a secret.
“Just the four of us,” Matthew said under his breath.
“Just the four of us…” Claire whispered back to him, smiling.
I led the way out.
Acknowledgements
The idea that I should be able to put into words my gratitude for everyone involved in the creation of this book is an overwhelming thought. I look back on the path leading me to this point, afraid of overlooking influences and inspirations that carried me here. How do I say thank you in a way that means as much to ears on the receiving end as it does to me in my own head? How do I embrace my heroes and advocates through a few lousy words printed on paper?
I guess I just try.
Thank you to my husband, Greg, and my four children who didn’t laugh at me three years ago when I began carting my laptop around everywhere, and for allowing me the guilt-free indulgence of writing whenever I could. Though, now they make fun of me and will probably forever remember me being attached to my computer. Sorry.
To my parents, Rand and Joyce King, who didn’t allow video games or much TV when I was a kid, which forced me to be creative; who always pushed me and never let me give up; who even now aren’t afraid to tell me they love me; and who make the best food on the planet. I am me because of you.
To my big sister, Kristin Johns. Thank you for being my first-ever reader, fan, editor, pseudo-agent, and for leading the story in the right direction whenever I veered too far off the path. Thanks for keeping it real; I admire your honesty and sincerity, and I needed it! I owe you a trip to Hawaii, but tell Bob that for right now you’ll have to settle for your names in print here at the back of the book.
To my little sister, Caroline, who never fails to deliver the latest musical inspiration, for exuding uber-coolness and style nearly all of the time, and for her snazzy design skills when I’ve lost mine. Justin, for your wife and her enthusiasm at all the right times.
To my early readers Donna, Aunt Helen, Anne, Jody, Brett, Aly: thank you for seeing the diamond in the rough, and for telling me what I needed to hear. Brett, for telling me it is the best book you ever read (whether it’s true, or not).
To Stan Soper and his much-needed guidance, for believing in this story, and for convincing me not to give up when it seemed like I should.
Thank you, Elena Kalis, for your gorgeous photograph that miraculously captures the essence of On the Fringe in every way possible.
To my editors Lisa Paul and Heather McCubbin, and formatter Kimberly Martin, and to Lisa, for taking a chance on me. I am indebted to you for a thousand and one things…for your expert eye, for saving me from the ‘I’s’, for trusting in me, for keeping me focused, for putting up with all my questions and my amateur editing process. Mostly, thank you for loving Daniel and Claire as much as I do.
Lastly, I cannot express or define the gratitude I feel for an infinite heritage spanning time, for invisible heartstrings that bind us all together, and for grandparents and ancestors whom I still feel with me, whispering in my ears that we are all connected.
Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE: THE BEGINNING
CHAPTER TWO: THE END
CHAPTER THREE: THE FOG
CHAPTER FOUR: SWEET SIXTEEN
CHAPTER FIVE: MOONBEAMS
CHAPTER SIX: BOO
CHAPTER SEVEN: FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES
CHAPTER EIGHT: TWENTY QUESTIONS
CHAPTER NINE: RAIN
CHAPTER TEN: THE WICKED TRUTH
CHAPTER ELEVEN: BLIND DATE
CHAPTER TWELVE: WILD GHOST CHASE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SURPRISE PARTY
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: MATTHEW’S SECRET
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: DAWN OF THE DEAD
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: SUBMERGED
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: NOT THE END
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: SUNRISE
Acknowledgements
On the Fringe Page 22