‘I don’t suppose you want to go somewhere else?’ he asked. ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready for the night to end yet.’
‘You’re making a habit of that,’ she said, laughing. ‘I seem to recall you saying the same thing when we went to the theatre.’
‘Yes, but that was early to be going home…’ He looked at his watch. ‘I suppose around now there won’t be much open except for nightclubs.’
Cathy wrinkled her nose. ‘If you’re going to suggest a nightclub then I’m afraid, for the first time tonight, I’m going to have to disagree. I think my days of clubs are long gone.’
‘Mine too,’ he said. ‘I was hoping that would be your answer. In which case… we could grab a coffee?’
‘There won’t be anywhere open for coffee.’
‘My house is always open,’ he said with a hopeful smile. ‘I promise no funny business and I’ll take you home as soon as you want to go.’
‘We could go to mine for that matter,’ Cathy said.
‘We could,’ he agreed, ‘but… well, I need to take Guin out for a last pee before he settles for the night.’
Cathy laughed. ‘Oh, I completely forgot about poor Guin! Of course, let’s go back to yours; we might as well. I don’t mind coming with you to walk him.’
‘I’d like that,’ he said. ‘I think Guin would too.’
Half an hour later Matthias’s car came to a halt outside a darkened house in a terraced street. Cathy knew the neighbourhood, characterised by eighteenth-century terraced houses, though she’d rarely visited anyone who lived there. Her cottage was almost at the opposite side of the town.
Unclipping his seatbelt, he smiled at her. ‘Here we are,’ he said. ‘No palace, I’ll admit, but at least I had the foresight to clean up earlier today.’
‘I wouldn’t have cared,’ Cathy said.
‘Oh, I think you would,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have wanted to come back. Guin makes enough mess of his own with all that hair, let alone mine.’
‘What, your hair? Do you lose it that quickly?’
He grinned. ‘Cheeky. I could change my mind about this coffee, you know.’
‘You could.’
‘But I wouldn’t.’
‘I’m glad to hear it.’
With another grin he got out of the car and Cathy followed. But then he stopped dead on the pavement, staring at his front door. For a moment, Cathy couldn’t understand what had halted his progress, until she made out a shadow and then someone who had been sitting on the step get up and walk towards them.
It was Tansy. Her face was in gloom, but there was just enough light from the nearby streetlamp for Cathy to recognise her. She looked from Matthias to Cathy and then back again.
‘What’s she doing here? Are you two…?’
‘What are you doing here?’ Matthias asked.
Tansy rammed her hands on her hips and stared at him. ‘Are you seeing her?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘Yes, it matters! When did this happen? How long ago? Why didn’t anyone tell me?’
‘Because it’s none of your business, Tans.’ He frowned and positioned himself, ever so subtly, between her and Cathy. ‘It’s almost midnight. How did you get here?’
‘Walked. It’s not that far.’
‘In the dark? Alone? Anything could have happened to you!’
‘I couldn’t stay at home, could I?’
‘Why not? What’s happened this time?’
‘I’m not saying anything in front of her.’
‘Whatever you’ve got to say, you can say it in front of Cathy.’
‘She’s not family.’
‘Then don’t say it. Go home and call me tomorrow.’
‘What, so you can shag her?’
‘Tansy!’ Matthias snapped. ‘If you’re going to be like that I’ll call a taxi for you right now!’
Tansy looked as if she might argue, but then clamped her mouth shut.
‘Let’s start again,’ he said. ‘Do you want to tell me what’s happened or am I wasting my breath asking? If you’ve got nothing to say then there’s no point in being here.’
‘What do you think happened? Mum kicked me out.’ Tansy glared at Cathy as she answered him.
Matthias sighed. ‘Again?’ he asked, his voice betraying that fact that this was a regular occurrence. Then he looked puzzled for a moment. ‘Where’s your stuff?’
‘Didn’t have time to pack it. Shane was gunning for me; he said he’d…’ She glanced uneasily at Cathy as she continued, seeming to think better of uttering the rest. ‘You know. What he normally says when he’s in one of his moods… I didn’t have time to pack anything, I just got out.’
‘Ah.’ One small word of understanding and Matthias’s whole body appeared to stiffen; his tone hardened and his jaw clenched, animosity suddenly seeming to radiate off him in waves. Cathy had never seen a mood darken so violently in someone. Gone was the charming, relaxed man of only a few minutes ago to be replaced by a seething mass of anger and resentment. She would never have imagined that this side of him could exist if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes.
He turned to Cathy. ‘I’m sorry… do you mind if I take you home after all?’
‘Of course not. I mean, I could call a cab if you need to be here—’
‘No, of course not; I’m not going to let you do that. It won’t take long.’ He unlocked the front door and nodded to Tansy. ‘Wait inside; I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘No you won’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because Guinness has been on his own all night and he’d appreciate a friendly face right now. If you really want to make yourself useful you can let him into the back garden for a quick pee, otherwise he’ll be bursting.’
‘Right,’ Tansy said, and this seemed to smooth over any argument she might have been thinking up. ‘Want me to change his food too?’
‘Just his water – he’s eaten today.’
Tansy went inside and, as the door closed, Matthias turned back to Cathy. ‘I’m really sorry about this.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘No, it does. I’ll make it up to you somehow – I promise.’
She followed as he began to walk back to his car. ‘Really, it doesn’t. Family has to come first; I understand that.’
The mood was flat as they made their way along darkened and quiet roads to Cathy’s house. Questions tumbled over one another inside her head, though they all seemed too personal to ask, especially when very little was being volunteered. After ten silent minutes Matthias spoke.
‘I bet you think this is really out of order.’
‘Of course I don’t. I wish I could help, but I realise it’s something that’s probably personal. Is it something to do with Tansy’s mum?’
He looked sharply at her before turning his eyes back to the road.
‘I only ask because Erica has mentioned a couple of times that Tansy and her mum don’t get along all that well, and that you and Erica worry about both of them. You don’t have to tell me anything, of course. You could just tell me to mind my own business.’
He shook his head. ‘I’d never do that, but I feel as if this is too big and nasty to drag you into.’
‘It wouldn’t be dragging me in to just tell me about it. Not that you have to… only, if it helped to talk…’
‘Let’s just say Michelle has interesting taste in men, and they don’t often take kindly to the fact that she has a daughter. The latest one is about the worst in a long line of assholes.’
‘That’s Shane… the man she mentioned just now? Does he hit them?’
As soon as she’d asked the question Cathy wished she could take it back. Matthias’s expression darkened further, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that Cathy saw them turn white as they passed under the streetlights.
‘Sorry…’ she said hastily. ‘Non
e of my business… Forget I asked.’
‘It’s alright.’ He dragged in a long breath, trying to calm down. ‘I don’t know. I’ve asked and Michelle tells me to keep my nose out. There’s only so much I can do there, but Tansy… I don’t know what he’s done to her or what he’s threatened, but I think she’s scared of him. She won’t say either, though.’
‘But she…? You haven’t seen her injured, have you?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘And I can’t prove anything. All I know is the way Tansy looks when she mentions his name, and that every few weeks or so either Michelle throws her out or Tansy leaves of her own accord and turns up at my house or Erica’s… Mine more, since Malcolm put his foot down about her moving in and out of there. He said they didn’t know whether they were coming or going with her and I get that. She can be a handful and as a couple they have to think about each other too.’
‘Doesn’t Michelle worry for her if he’s that bad? I’d be terrified if I thought someone was putting my daughter in danger and I’d be just as unhappy if I thought my boyfriend was making her so miserable she felt she had to keep running away from home.’
‘But that’s where you’re very different from my sister. Michelle is only concerned with the new man in her life. Always has been, always will be. Tansy has pretty much brought herself up for the last ten years because her mother’s always too busy doing something else to care.’
‘Is that why you and Erica do so much for her?’
‘I don’t do nearly enough, but there’s only so much you can do, which is as much as Tansy will let you. She’s built a wall around herself. It’s hard to get through, and even when she’s crying out for help she won’t let you in.’
‘Sounds like she doesn’t know how to,’ Cathy said.
He turned to her again. ‘I think you’re right. Or she’s so used to keeping her defences high she’s forgotten how to let them down.’
‘I wish I could help.’
‘You are helping.’
Cathy looked to see his eyes still on the road, though his expression had softened a little and, despite the nature of their conversation, it warmed her to think that she might have done that. ‘I don’t know how,’ she said doubtfully.
‘Erica told me how you tried to stick up for her at your cookery class and how tolerant you’ve been. We’re grateful for that – it’s very easy to judge Tansy when you don’t know her situation. Any support is appreciated.’
Cathy wondered if Erica had been too generous in her assessment of Cathy’s part in the drama at cookery club or whether Matthias was being generous in his recollection of what Erica had told him. Either way, she didn’t feel that she’d done all that much to defend Tansy, but in light of what he was telling her now, she resolved to do better in future. Although, it wasn’t going to be easy because she clearly couldn’t tell people what she knew about Tansy, and because they didn’t have that information, they wouldn’t see anything but a sulky and belligerent young girl with a chip on her shoulder and no respect for anyone or anything. Even knowing what she did now, and even seeing how it mattered to Matthias, it was still hard for Cathy to feel more kindly disposed to her.
She hadn’t even realised they’d arrived at her house until he stopped the car and yanked on the handbrake.
‘I’m really sorry about this,’ he said.
‘There’s no need to be. Like I said, family has to come first.’
He gave her a bleak smile, and Cathy had to wonder – perhaps a little selfishly – whether family would always have to come first and how much of that she was willing to take before the situation became untenable. She liked him a lot, but was that enough? Did this have something to do with the fact that his previous relationships had never worked out? Maybe that hadn’t been an issue before Tansy’s troubles had become his, but perhaps his niece had got in the way since then.
‘I’d better get back. Thanks for being so understanding.’
‘You’ll call me, won’t you?’
‘Of course I will…’ He cupped a gentle hand behind her neck and guided her lips to his. Then he let her go, and she fought the urge to grab him again. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’
‘Alright.’ Unclipping her seatbelt, she pushed open the passenger door.
‘Goodnight, Cathy,’ he said.
She turned to him with a smile full of regret. ‘Goodnight,’ she replied, before getting out and shutting the door behind her. She watched for a moment as he restarted the engine and the car slowly left her street, and then, with a heavy sigh, she unlocked her front door and went to get ready for bed.
Twenty-Six
‘Are you OK?’ Erica asked.
Cathy swished the last drop of tea around in her cup, staring into the depths, phone to her ear. On the kitchen table in front of her, the cookery book was open. She was copying a recipe Dora had brought in – at least, she was trying to. Dora’s handwriting was a bit difficult to decipher – she seemed to go off on tangents with irrelevant notes and her spelling was abysmal. It didn’t help that Cathy was finding it hard to concentrate too, her mind full of what had happened the night before with Matthias and Tansy.
‘Of course I am,’ she lied. ‘I ought to be asking you that. What did Matthias say when he called you this morning? I mean, if it’s not too personal to ask.’
‘Of course you can ask,’ Erica said. ‘I think if anyone’s entitled to ask it’s you. I expect Matt will phone you himself this morning, I just thought I’d call now while it was fresh in my mind.’
Cathy reached for a biscuit from an open pack. It was her third or fourth of the morning and, despite the fact she’d promised herself she was going to cut back, she was in the mood to eat many more. She nibbled on it as Erica continued.
‘I’m not sure what happened between her and Michelle, but from what Tansy has told Matthias she’s completely blameless.’ Erica’s voice contained more than a note of scepticism at this; at least she wasn’t utterly blind when it came to Tansy’s faults. ‘It seems that whatever was done or said, Shane took offence and came wading in. It ended up with either Michelle throwing Tansy out or Tansy walking out or maybe even Shane having a hand in it. Tansy says it’s the first option but you can never be sure she’s remembering it exactly how it happened.’
‘Have you spoken to your sister yet?’
‘There’s no point. She’ll only stick up for Shane, no matter what happened.’
‘So Tansy couldn’t go back to her and work it out? She won’t move back in?’
‘Oh, I expect so – this isn’t the first time she’s left home and she usually ends up back there. Mostly because Matt and I try to impose rules to straighten her out and she doesn’t know how to deal with that, so she goes home where there are no rules, where she knows how her world operates. She doesn’t realise that, far from being as good as it seems, that lack of rules is damaging for her.’
‘When you say lack of rules…?’
Erica sighed. ‘It’s just Michelle finds it hard to give her attention when there’s a man on the scene. I don’t know what comes over her, but she sort of seems to forget she has a daughter.’
Cathy recalled Matthias saying something similar. She couldn’t imagine ever doing that if she had a child of her own, but she didn’t have a child and so, perhaps, she’d never really know how she’d act. And it sounded as if Tansy wasn’t entirely blameless and that she wasn’t always telling things exactly how they’d happened.
‘Apart from that,’ Erica continued, ‘I was calling to find out how your date went… Obviously you can spare me the details, but it was good?’
Cathy smiled. ‘I would hardly be telling you if it wasn’t good, would I?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘It was lovely. He’s great.’
‘You’re going to see him again?’
‘If he wants to.’
‘Oh, he definitely wants to.’
Cathy wondered what he’d said about it, but it didn’t look as if Erica
was going to volunteer the information because she took the conversation back to Tansy.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t think Tansy is coming back to cookery club.’
Cathy couldn’t say she was entirely sorry about that, but she understood that it meant a lot to Erica. ‘That’s a shame,’ she said. ‘Is this about what happened last week?’
‘I think it’s about a lot of things. She needs time to sort her head out and I think it’s probably best for now that she stays away from volatile situations while she does that.’
‘Of course. But you’ll still come?’
‘If I can, yes.’
There was a caveat – what was that? Erica was usually a lot more enthusiastic about cookery club. Was this to do with what had happened last week? Had it offended Erica more than it had Tansy? Was she annoyed that people had ganged up on her niece?
‘I hope you can,’ Cathy said. ‘I’d miss you if you weren’t there – I think the others would too. You’re like a part of the original squad; it’s just not the same without you.’
Erica laughed. ‘I’ve never been part of any squad before.’
Cathy smiled. ‘Neither have I. But I feel like I am now.’
‘I’m glad,’ Erica said. ‘If anyone ought to feel they belong somewhere, it’s you. Listen, I’ll get off the line; I expect Matt will want to phone you to tell you about last night himself.’
‘OK. Thanks for ringing.’
‘I just wanted to make sure that brother of mine hadn’t already cocked up the best thing that’s happened to him in ages.’
Cathy’s smile grew. Did Erica really think that? Was that how Matthias felt? Had he said so to his sister? Cathy certainly felt that way about him and loved the idea that she could be secure in the knowledge it wasn’t one-sided.
‘Thanks, Erica,’ she said. ‘I’ll text you later.’
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