‘But where?’ Tansy closed the lid of her laptop and looked at Cathy now.
Matthias put a glass of amber liquid in front of Cathy and she detected the smell of brandy and perhaps lemonade in there.
‘What was that pub called?’ Cathy asked.
‘Oh, it was just the Keys,’ Matthias said.
‘The Cross Keys?’ Tansy asked carelessly. ‘Oh, there… Isn’t that where you used to take Aunty Sidonie?’
‘No,’ Matthias said firmly.
Cathy stared at him, realisation hitting her like a brick. Who was Sidonie? He’d never mentioned any sister other than Erica and Michelle and neither had Erica. In fact, Erica had very definitely stated that there were only three of them.
He looked suddenly uncomfortable.
‘Oh,’ Tansy said. ‘I thought it was.’
‘No, it wasn’t. Tans…’ he added, ‘do us a favour and take Guin outside; I think he wants to go to the toilet.’
‘No he doesn’t,’ she said. ‘I took him just before you got back. So, where was the pub where you used to take Sidonie? She used to love it, didn’t she?’
‘Tansy, not now…’ he growled, throwing her a warning look.
‘What do you mean?’ Tansy replied, a look of pure innocence on her face. ‘You don’t usually tell me I can’t talk about Sidonie and Beau. We talk about them all the time usually… Oh! Is it because Cathy is here?’
Cathy looked from one to the other, the cogs in her brain whirring at speed. Matthias looked as if he wanted to kill Tansy, but she simply gave a serene smile. Tansy was clearly up to something, but what?
‘Sidonie used to cook amazing dishes, didn’t she?’ Tansy said. ‘You used to say it was the best food you’d ever had.’
‘Tansy…’ he warned, but she ignored it.
‘I suppose it’s because she’s French and they make the best food, don’t they? And she never got fat no matter how much she ate, did she? She’s still thin now. She was thin after she had Beau too, wasn’t she? I don’t think anything would make her not thin and not pretty. So pretty. And she had a lovely French accent too. We all loved her, didn’t we? Erica misses her too – she said so. Said she was the best—’
‘Tansy!’ he roared. ‘I know what you’re trying to do and you’d better stop right now!’
‘I’m not trying to do anything.’
‘Go to your room please.’
‘I don’t have a room.’
‘To the spare room then! The one you’re using right now!’
‘But I’m talking to Cathy.’
‘It’s alright,’ Cathy began, but Matthias cut across her.
‘No, it’s not. These things are for me to tell you and I was going to. I was trying to tell you tonight.’
‘I thought you would have done already,’ Tansy said, and the look he gave her now was enough, even for her. ‘I’ve just got to go and…’
She scurried off, but not before Cathy had caught a fleeting look of satisfaction on her face. Whatever stunt she’d been trying to pull – and Cathy was beginning to think she’d worked out what it was – she’d obviously thought it a success.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You must think this is the most dysfunctional family you’ve ever come across and I wouldn’t blame you if you ran now and didn’t look back.’
Cathy tried to give him an encouraging smile, even though the ground felt very unstable beneath her right now. ‘Why would I do that? Show me a family that isn’t dysfunctional in some way and I’ll show you a lie.’
‘Yes, but some are definitely worse than others.’
‘It’s alright. I think I know who Sidonie is and I don’t care.’
‘Please, I need to explain—’
‘You don’t. I trust you.’
‘I know. But let me explain it to you anyway. I wanted to tell you earlier, before Tansy rang. Cathy, I feel that we’re getting somewhere and I hope you feel the same way.’
‘You know I do.’
‘And what I didn’t think you needed to know before I feel that you do now. I’ll be honest, I’ve had so many pointless dates that never went anywhere that I got sick of telling the story, so I stopped. But with you… well, I feel as if I need to tell it maybe only once more. At least, I hope so.’
‘OK,’ Cathy said, her emotions torn between warmth for his words, for his faith in what future they might have together, and trepidation about what he was about to tell her. She’d guessed at it, but what if it was a lot more than what she’d guessed? What if it was something that she wouldn’t be able to deal with?
‘Sidonie is my ex-wife. She’s French, and she moved back to France when we split up. It was a long and messy divorce and it took me a good few years to get over it. Tansy was very fond of her and they still keep in touch.’
‘And Beau?’
‘Sidonie’s son.’
Cathy frowned. ‘But not your son?’
‘He was two when we got together. I suppose, for all intents and purposes, I became his father because he didn’t see his own back in France. I was fond of him and eventually we decided I should adopt him so that we were an official family.’
‘Do you still see them?’
‘Not as often as I should,’ he said, the regret and guilt obvious in his expression. ‘It’s difficult. Sidonie and me… it was complicated and hard to be in the same room, which wasn’t Beau’s fault, of course, but it means that it’s also difficult to see him too.’
‘She doesn’t like you seeing him?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t think she’d be that obtuse but it’s not that simple really.’
‘I suppose not,’ Cathy said.
He studied her for a moment. ‘So,’ he said finally, ‘where does that leave us?’
‘Exactly where we were,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. Everyone has a past and if you tell me that’s where Sidonie is, then I believe you.’
‘I’m sorry you had to hear it from Tansy…’
‘It’s alright.’ Cathy wanted to say that she thought Tansy had rather enjoyed the way it had all unfolded and she suspected he thought the same, but that would give Tansy even more of a victory than if she pretended she didn’t care and it hadn’t been a big revelation at all.
But the fact was, part of her didn’t believe that. Not about Tansy’s enjoyment of her little game, but about not being bothered. Cathy shouldn’t have been bothered – Sidonie was in his past and there was no doubt he liked Cathy a lot – but why had everyone been so reluctant to tell her about Matthias’s ex? Did she buy Matthias’s reasons? And even if she did, why had Erica felt the need to hide it from her? Her friend had mentioned that women had let her brother down, but never that he’d been married or that he’d actually adopted his wife’s child, which, in itself, said a lot about how he’d felt about her. Was he still in love with Sidonie? And if he was, where did that leave Cathy? A consolation prize when he couldn’t have the woman he really wanted? Her rational thoughts told her no, and everything he said and did with her told her no too, but there was a part of her, that insecure, paranoid part, that kept asking the question.
‘While we’re on the subject of pasts, I should tell you something too…’
‘OK,’ he replied carefully.
‘Nothing terrible,’ Cathy said with a nervous laugh. ‘At least I hope not. It’s just… Jonas… the man we met at the theatre with his wife… well, Jonas is more than an old friend. In fact, we were engaged once. About five years ago, but still… does it bother you? I’m sorry I didn’t say something at the time—’
‘Of course it doesn’t bother me. I understand why you didn’t – for the same reasons I didn’t mention Sidonie straight away. We’ve all got a past and I wouldn’t have expected anything else. What matters is that we’re willing to move forward.’
‘I think so too,’ Cathy said, relaxing into a more natural smile now, glad she’d finally said something. It felt like the last secret and now that everything was wide open a
nd honest they could really build something worth having here. Or so she hoped.
‘So we’re still good?’ Matthias asked, though he looked as uncertain of that right now as Cathy was.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Of course we are.’
Twenty-Seven
‘Cathy… I’m so sorry.’
Erica had called earlier that day to say that Matthias had told her about how Tansy had tried to stir up trouble by mentioning Sidonie. She had said, more than once, how sorry she was that she hadn’t told Cathy herself, how she’d felt it was for Matthias to tell her but now realised that she’d made the wrong call about it and hoped it wouldn’t affect their friendship or the way things were going with Matthias. She had also said that they’d both be having a stern word with Tansy (Matthias already had) and that Cathy really didn’t have anything to worry about. Then she’d asked if Cathy wanted to meet her at Ingrid’s to talk it over. Cathy had agreed, though she really didn’t think there was anything to talk over, only for them to sit down with their coffees and for Erica to say more or less the same things all over again.
‘Honestly,’ Cathy said. ‘It’s alright. Matthias was going to tell me himself before Tansy phoned to get him home. She didn’t do anything wrong.’
Cathy had been very careful not to draw attention to the fact that she thought Tansy had done it all on purpose because she didn’t want to offend Erica. It was hard to know why they persevered with a girl who was clearly so ungrateful and so resistant to their efforts. But Cathy understood that they must love Tansy very much and that it pained them to see what she had to put up with at home, always coming second to whichever man her mum had around at the time. The one way Cathy could make sense of their dedication to Tansy was comparing it to the way she felt about caring for her mum. It had been hard, often thankless as her mum never got any better no matter what Cathy did, and in the end, she’d done it because that was what families did. Both Matthias and Erica appeared to go out of their way to help Tansy and she did nothing to thank them – she only got more demanding and didn’t seem to recognise their kindness at all. Perhaps she was different when they were away from outsiders to the family, but Cathy couldn’t imagine it.
There was only one thing for it. The prospect was hardly appealing, but Cathy was going to have to spend a lot more time with Tansy. If she could get to know her, gain her trust, even perhaps get her to like her a bit more, then it would make life with Matthias a lot easier. The last thing she needed was Tansy constantly trying to drive a wedge between them, because, much as Cathy didn’t want to think so, one day she might just succeed, and Cathy was beginning to feel that what she might have with Matthias was worth too much to abandon when they’d only just begun.
‘If it makes any difference, he hasn’t been to see Beau in about a year now,’ Erica said, breaking into Cathy’s thoughts.
Cathy gave a small smile as she reached for her coffee and blew to cool it down. There was one burning question in all this that she hadn’t asked. She was afraid to ask it but she wanted to, and she wasn’t sure she’d get a completely honest reply from Matthias himself. Not because he would want to deceive her, but because he might be afraid to hurt her. Cathy wasn’t sure she’d get much more honesty from Erica either – for pretty much the same reasons – but maybe there was a greater likelihood of getting to something like the truth. She braced herself and decided to go for it.
‘Did Matthias leave Sidonie or was it her who ended the marriage?’
Erica shook her head sadly. ‘That was one thing I didn’t keep from you – all the women in his life have let him down in one way or another.’
‘And that includes Sidonie?’
‘Yes. He was a mess when he moved back to England.’
‘So he lived in France with her?’
‘They’d started out living here when they were first married, but she got restless and wanted to go home. Matthias would have done anything for her so he agreed and they spent the last couple of years in the village where she was born. I think he hated it, but he wanted to make her happy. Turns out, nothing he did made her happy.’
‘Did you like her?’
‘I tolerated her. She was alright, but sometimes I found her demands frustrating and I wanted to tell Matthias what a pain I thought she was but it was none of my business. Sometimes I wish I’d made it my business – I might have spared him a lot of heartache if I could have made him see what she was really like. Not that he would have listened, I expect; he was besotted.’
‘Does he…?’ Cathy hesitated. No, she decided, it didn’t matter and it wasn’t a question she was going to ask. She wasn’t going to put Erica on the spot like that. Whether he still had any feelings for his ex or not, it did look to Cathy as if she was firmly out of the picture.
‘So,’ Cathy said instead. ‘It doesn’t look as if Tansy is going back home any time soon?’
‘Is that wishful thinking?’ Erica asked, the hint of a wry smile on her lips now.
‘It might be,’ Cathy admitted, smiling herself now. ‘Does that make me a bad person?’
‘No, I wouldn’t blame you. She’s a handful for us; I can’t imagine how she’d be for you, especially when she…’ Erica shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I’ve spoken to Michelle and she says Tansy overreacted. She says she can go home any time she likes but she’s not going to beg her and she’s not going to apologise because she says she’s got nothing to apologise for.’
‘Do you think that?’
‘I don’t know what went on so I’m not going to make a judgement. I know what my sister’s like when she gets in with a new man, but I think Tansy often makes herself quite unpopular too. I wouldn’t like to comment on what happened between her and Shane.’
‘Matthias seems to think Tansy was scared of him.’
‘I think sometimes Matthias misses having Beau to care for. Obviously, Beau wasn’t his own son but he raised him as if he was and I think Tansy is an outlet for those paternal instincts. If he feels she’s in trouble, he’s there, and she takes advantage of that too. I think she plays up to him a lot more than she does me.’
‘How old is Beau?’
‘He’d be about twelve now, I’d say.’
‘And how long is it since Matthias and Sidonie split up?’
‘About two years now. He was going over to visit at first, but then Sidonie started to see another man and she asked him not to go because she said it was confusing Beau. I don’t personally agree and I think she was using Beau as an excuse because she didn’t want to keep having to deal with Matt’s visits. I think he knows that too, deep down. But he always did do everything she asked and this was no different.’
‘Do you think he feels guilty about not seeing Beau?’
‘Oh God, yes. I think he’ll feel guilty for as long as he lives.’
Cathy was thoughtful for a moment. ‘You know you said you didn’t think Tansy wanted to come back to cookery club? Do you think you could persuade her to change her mind?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Erica said with a vague frown. ‘You’d really want her back there after everything that’s happened?’
‘I just feel like it’s a good place for us to bond. It would be a bit obvious if I started going over and asking her to spend time with me, but I do think that we need to do that. Maybe if we knew each other better she wouldn’t be against me seeing Matthias. Being at cookery club is a way to do that without her realising I’m trying to do that. Do you think it could work?’
‘I’ll mention it to her but I can’t promise anything. What about Iris and Dora? I’m sure they won’t be thrilled to see her back.’
‘They’ll be alright,’ Cathy said, as certain as she could be that her previous threat to pull the plug on the cookery club would still be enough to keep the opinions of Iris and Dora on the matter private, if not completely in check. ‘I’ll have a quiet word with them.’
Erica reached for her coffee. ‘Well, if you’re sure…’
�
�No, I’m not sure at all,’ Cathy said with a small smile. ‘But I’ve got nothing else up my sleeve right now so it has to be worth a try.’
Twenty-Eight
By some miracle, Erica did persuade Tansy to come back to cookery club, and they arrived together the following Friday. Cathy beamed as she went over to greet them and Erica was her usual bright self, whereas Tansy – though not quite as closed as usual – was more cautiously reserved.
‘Hello!’ Cathy said. ‘Got everything you need?’
‘We have!’ Erica held up a bulging carrier bag. ‘Raring to go, aren’t we, Tans?’
‘I don’t like carrot cake,’ Tansy said.
‘Yes, but Matthias loves it,’ Erica replied cheerily. ‘It’ll be a nice surprise for him when he gets home from work, won’t it?’
Erica glanced beyond her and gave a little wave to Iris, who was watching them closely as she unpacked her ingredients. Cathy had briefed Erica on a need-to-know basis about what Iris had said the last time Tansy had been there and sabotaged her bake (inadvertently or not). She wasn’t planning to tell her but, considering they couldn’t discount the possibility of more trouble with Tansy’s return, she’d decided that she probably had to give Erica a bit of warning. Erica had nodded gravely and seemed to understand that she had to let it slide for now. She was no fool when it came to her niece.
‘I’m really glad to see you here,’ Cathy said, smiling warmly at Tansy, who seemed confused by the sight, which gave Cathy a private moment of amusement. If Tansy thought Cathy was going to fight fire with fire, she was in for a shock. Cathy had decided on the complete opposite tactic – the more difficult Tansy was, the nicer Cathy was going to be to her. She was going to get through to this girl if it killed her.
Almost everyone’s carrot cake had turned out well. Cathy had definitely seen an improvement in the quality of the bakes at the club over the weeks, and a massive surge in confidence too. People had started to believe that they were bakers and, rather than getting fazed or upset when they found something tricky, were far more inclined to roll up their sleeves and give it a go anyway – whether it turned out to be successful or not. As a consequence, they usually did a pretty good job. Only Colin’s looked a little worse for wear today but, Cathy had reassured him, that was only because he’d put his cream cheese frosting on before the cake had cooled and it had melted. She was sure it would taste just fine, even if it did look like a lump of goo.
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