No, a future for her and Michael wouldn’t be easy.
But her mawmaw used to tell her that anything worth having was worth working for. And maybe she’d been right.
Michael rose from his spot on the floor and sat next to her. He turned toward her and gave a little grin. “I hate it when people say ‘We need to talk,’ but…” He trailed off. “We need to talk.”
She furrowed her brow. “What’s up? Did you secretly hate my cooking?”
He shook his head. “Nope.” He laughed.
She detected an undercurrent of seriousness in his tone. “Then what?”
Michael cleared his throat. “A few months ago, I interviewed with a big news outlet in DC. My old boss got me the interview just before I came to Lancaster County.” He chewed on the inside of his lip. “I didn’t expect to hear anything. They didn’t even have an open position, so I figured the guy was just doing it out of professional courtesy.”
Caroline didn’t respond. She had the familiar feeling that the rug was about to be swept from beneath her.
“He called me today and offered me a job. A really great job.” Michael raked his fingers through his hair. “It has an incredibly generous benefit and salary package. They’d even pay to relocate me and give me a housing allowance until I found an apartment.”
She nodded, trying to ignore the sudden tightness in her chest. “That’s great,” she said, forcing a smile. “Sounds like a really good opportunity.” She’d started to lean on him. Depend on him. And now he was going to leave. She tried to keep her face neutral. “It would be tough to turn that down.”
He drew his brows together. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He reached for her hand. “Caroline, I know we haven’t exactly defined things between us.”
Caroline gave him a smile. “I appreciate the fact that we haven’t rushed into anything.” They’d spent the months getting to know one another slowly. She’d always thought the best relationships were built on the foundation of friendship. And it had been just that way with the two of them.
“I know. I think it’s important for us to take things slowly, especially given what you’ve gone through.” He squeezed her hand. “But just because we’re taking it slowly doesn’t mean that I’m not crazy about you.”
She felt a sense of relief at his words. Even though his actions told her that he cared a lot for her, hearing him verbalize it made her feel better. “I’m glad to hear it. Because I’m pretty crazy about you too.”
He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. “That’s why I’m going to turn the job down.”
Caroline smiled broadly. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I mean, aren’t you even a little tempted?”
Michael shrugged his shoulders. “I realize what a good opportunity this is. They have a great reputation for doing the kinds of stories I’ve always dreamed of covering.” He shook his head. “But now that I’ve met you and been able to spend time with my family, I just don’t think that accepting the position would be the right decision for me.”
Caroline was touched that he was willing to sacrifice a career move for her. When she’d been married to Lance, she had gotten so used to being at the bottom of his priority pile. This was a whole new experience.
Michael took her hand again. “I’m glad we talked about things, though. I wanted to make sure you and I were on the same page about our relationship and where it might be going.”
She nodded. “I’d very much like to see where this goes. I feel like I get to know you better with each passing day.” Her mouth turned up in a smile. “And I hope you feel that way as well.”
He nodded. “Sure do. I feel closer to you with each passing moment.”
Michael pulled her against him, and she leaned her head against his chest.
It might not have been a declaration of love, but it was a start. She hadn’t felt so safe, so secure, in a very long time.
And that feeling was one that she planned to hang on to for as long as possible.
Like forever.
Chapter Forty-Three
Simon walked numbly out of the doctor’s office. He’d spent a good part of the past few weeks trying to forget about today’s appointment. And for the most part, it had worked.
But today, he’d had to face up to the fact that everything wasn’t okay. He’d seen it on the neurologist’s face after the examination.
He wished he could be relieved about finally having a diagnosis. But he wasn’t.
Instead, all he could think of was Lydia Ann.
Lydia Ann, who’d seen her husband battle cancer and lose.
Lydia Ann, who’d sat on the porch swing with him a few weeks ago and said that she would never want to watch someone she loved suffer again. Because she couldn’t handle the pain.
Lydia Ann, who’d gone with him for ice cream the other night and made him feel like the most special man in the world.
He climbed into the buggy, halfway wishing he’d let Michael drive him. His hands shook today, but it had nothing to do with the multiple sclerosis he’d just officially been diagnosed with.
It had to do with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a disease he didn’t know much about.
And fear of telling Lydia Ann that she was involved with yet another sick man.
He wondered how to tell her.
And then a different kind of sick feeling came over him. Lydia Ann would never walk away from him once she found out about his illness. She would stay with him, a silent prisoner of the situation, because she was a good, kind woman. Not the kind who would leave a man because of an illness…even if she wanted to.
While that knowledge might make most men happy, it did the opposite for Simon. He couldn’t do that to her.
Lydia Ann could never know about his illness.
And that meant there was only one thing he could do.
Lydia Ann hummed to herself as she cleaned the display of knickknacks at the front of the bookstore. The past few weeks had been some of the happiest she’d had in a long while. She’d developed close friendships with Leah and Caroline. Her relationship with Dat was as strong as it had been when she was younger. And Simon…Simon had become someone she couldn’t imagine her life without. She had so many blessings to count these days.
Yesterday’s church meeting had been a good one. She felt as if she fit into the community well. And last night she and Leah had made homemade ice cream as Dat helped Mary and Katie catch fireflies.
Things seemed to finally be coming together for her.
It helped that she’d finally made a decision about Lancaster County. She’d chosen to stay. No one knew yet, though. She wanted Simon to be the first to hear. She had a feeling he would be the happiest of anyone. And she knew that her decision to move to Lancaster County likely had an important impact on a future for her and Simon. At least, she was pretty sure it would.
“I think there’s someone here to see you.” Caroline came in from sweeping the front porch. “Simon just pulled up in his buggy.” She grinned. “And I’m pretty sure he isn’t here for me.”
Lydia Ann tossed her dustcloth into the trash and smoothed her skirt. “I’ll go see what he wants.” She stepped onto the porch and shielded her eyes from the bright July sunlight. “Good afternoon, Simon,” she called.
He waved at her but didn’t say anything.
She walked over to the buggy. “Are you going to come inside?”
Simon shook his head. “I don’t think so.” He climbed down from his seat. “Can we sit and talk on the porch?”
Lydia Ann nodded. “Jah. Do you want me to go inside and get you some water?”
“No.”
She glanced at his expressionless face. It seemed almost as if the life had gone out of him. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “I’m just tired.”
They sat down in the wicker chairs on the store’s front porch.
“I have some news that might make you happy,” Lydia Ann said. She co
uldn’t keep the excitement from her voice. “You’re the first to hear.”
He looked at her with interest. “What’s that?”
“I’ve decided to stay. Mary, Katie, and I are moving to Lancaster County,” she said, grinning broadly. “What do you think about that?”
Simon furrowed his brow. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked.
“What do you mean? When I mentioned it before, you thought it was the best thing to do.”
He shook his head. “I’ve been giving it more thought.” He met her gaze. “And I don’t think it’s a good plan. You already have a life in Charm. Why would you want to move here?”
Lydia Ann tried to hide her confusion. She’d been sure that Simon would be thrilled at the news. “But I thought you and I were on the path to getting to know one another better. If I lived here, it would give us more time together.”
He drew his brows together. “Once fall gets here, I’ll be so busy at the farm—I would barely have time to see you. Maybe not at all.” His face was grim. “I just don’t want you to make that decision on account of me.” He met her gaze. “Because I don’t see a future for us.”
Lydia Ann drew back as if she’d been slapped. Over the past two months, she and Simon had grown close. He’d never given her any indication that he might not be interested in her until now.
She stood. “I see.” She bit her lip, hoping to keep her tears in check until she’d gone back inside. “Thank you for your honesty.” She motioned at the store, unable to meet his gaze. “I’d better go check on the girls.”
“Lydia Ann…,” he started.
She shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything.” She closed the door tightly behind her as the first hot tear began to fall.
Chapter Forty-Four
“Here.” Caroline handed a tissue to Lydia Ann. “Do you want me to take the girls over to your dad’s store so they won’t know you’re upset?”
Lydia Ann nodded, dabbing at her wet eyes with the tissue. “Danki. That would be nice.”
“You can stay here as long as you like. I can drive you home later.”
Caroline had been caught completely off guard by the Amish woman’s sobs. They’d been quiet at first but had gotten louder. Caroline had flipped the sign to CLOSED and locked the door. They could close a little early today. She was a lot more worried about her friend than she was her business.
“I don’t know what came over him. It was almost like he was someone else,” Lydia Ann said.
Caroline sat down next to her friend on the love seat. “There must be some explanation. People don’t just turn feelings on and off like a faucet.” She pulled out another tissue and handed it to Lydia Ann. “Right?”
Lydia Ann shrugged. “Maybe he’s had time to consider the situation more. I bring a lot of memories with me. Mamm’s accident. Levi’s death. Raising the girls alone.” She sighed. “Maybe it was all too much for him.”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, though—with the eyes of a man who would fight the fiercest battle to keep you by his side.” Caroline shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense at all.”
“Unless…” Lydia Ann trailed off with a sniff. “Maybe he just decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.”
Caroline reached over and patted Lydia Ann’s hand. “That’s silly. I might not be an expert in men….” What an understatement. “But it sounds to me like maybe he’s just scared. Didn’t you say that the last girl he dated ended up leaving and marrying someone in the city?”
Lydia Ann nodded.
“Then maybe he’s just having a bout of cold feet.” She smiled. “Give him a few days. He’ll probably be miserable and come knocking, begging your forgiveness.”
Lydia Ann’s sad face brightened. “You think so?”
Caroline tried to sound confident. “Of course.” She smiled. “Why don’t you go upstairs and lay down? I’ll take the girls to your dad’s.” She paused at the back door. “And maybe I’ll stop and get you some ice cream. That always makes me feel better.”
“Chocolate,” Lydia Ann said softly.
Caroline chuckled. “Of course.”
Michael took one look at Simon’s glum face and knew that something was wrong. And it was bigger than a busted fence post or broken buggy wheel. “What happened?” he asked.
Simon flipped over a bucket and sat down. “Can I tell you something in confidence?”
“Of course.”
Simon met his eyes. “I’m not ready for anyone to know this. Not my family or your family. Not Lydia Ann.” He leveled his gaze on Michael. “And not Caroline.”
“Just between you and me. I get it.” Michael had always been good at keeping secrets. Maybe that was part of what made him a good journalist—he knew not to reveal sources.
Simon stretched his legs out in front of him. “I went back to the doctor this morning.”
Fear swept over Michael. He’d been waiting for Simon to tell him what was going on with his health, but his friend had been silent about the situation. Michael had hoped that meant everything was okay, but he could see now that it wasn’t. “What did you find out?”
“I have multiple sclerosis.”
The words hung in the air for a long moment.
“I’m sorry.” Michael didn’t know a lot about the disease, but he knew it could cause a lot of problems.
“I’m still trying to digest the news.” Simon took off his hat and turned it over in his hands. “The doctor has some options for me. Says it impacts everyone differently.” He cleared his throat. “But I asked him about the worst-case scenario.” He shrugged. “Because I wanted to know the worst thing I could expect.”
Michael met Simon’s gaze. “And?”
“Pretty bad. I could end up permanently disabled.” Simon shook his head. “And I’m just going to go ahead and tell you that I broke things off with Lydia Ann.” The pain in his eyes spoke volumes. “I’m sure Caroline knows, so you’ll probably hear about it sooner or later, but I at least wanted you to know my reason behind it.”
Michael furrowed his brow. “But, Simon, I know she’ll want to help you through this.”
“That’s just the problem. I don’t want her to feel obligated. And I don’t want her to have to deal with yet another illness. Not after everything she’d already been through.”
“But there’s a chance that, with medication, you’ll live a long and healthy life. Right?”
Simon nodded. “But there’s a chance I won’t. I can’t put her through that. I won’t put her through that.”
“She deserves to know.”
Simon put his hat back on and stood. “Why? I don’t want her to feel like she has to stay with me just because I’m sick. And I know her well enough to know that she’d never leave once she found out.” He shook his head. “It’s better this way. It’s the only honorable thing for me to do.”
Michael narrowed his eyes. He felt like his friend was making a terrible mistake. “I still think you owe it to her to tell her what you found out. Is it better that she thinks you don’t care about her?”
“It hurts me that she thinks that. But it’s better in the long run,” Simon explained.
“Won’t you miss her?”
Simon stopped in his tracks. “I missed her the minute I left the bookstore. But she deserves more than to be tied down to another sick man. I want her to be happy.”
Michael watched as Simon headed toward the pasture.
“The course of true love never did run smooth.” The words from a long-ago class on Shakespeare came to him.
Only time would tell if Simon and Lydia Ann could get back on a smooth course.
Michael couldn’t help but be thankful that things between him and Caroline were on the right track.
But just to be safe, he knocked on the wooden fence post he passed on the way to the house.
Chapter Forty-Five
Michael sat at his cubicle and glanced over the paperwork that Mr. Blaze had sent las
t week. The man still hadn’t called to discuss the position. But Michael was glad he had his answer waiting.
“Hey there,” Jenny said, plopping down in the guest chair. “How’s it going?”
Michael glanced at her and nodded. “Pretty well. No complaints, I guess.” He smiled. “How about you?”
She sighed and pulled the chair next to his. “Not good.”
He put the paperwork down and glanced at her. “Anything I can do?”
“Can I trust you to keep a secret?” she whispered.
Michael nodded. “Of course. You know that.”
“I think I’ve outgrown my position here.” She shook her head. “I’ve done everything with this magazine that I possibly can do.” She leaned closer. “You know what a micromanager Mr. Sinclair is. He seriously tries to control my every move.”
“Have you tried talking to him?” Michael knew that Jenny was good at her job. He’d been working alongside her all summer, and her work ethic was impressive. She might be a little nuts sometimes, but she was at the top of her game work-wise.
She nodded. “I’ve tried. He always says that things will change, but then when it comes down to it, he still calls all the shots.” She rubbed her temples. “I’ve been here for years. You’d think that with seniority would come more responsibility. The kind of responsibility that means I don’t have to run every little thing past my boss.” She shook her head. “But not here.”
“So what are you going to do?”
She bit her lip. “My resume is out right now.”
“Anything local?”
“I’m branching out, actually.” She grinned. “DC and Philly, mainly.”
He widened his eyes. She’d always said that she’d never move to a big city. “What brought that on?”
She shrugged. “I feel stifled here. It used to be nice and safe, you know? To be back in a place where people had known me my whole life. But lately I’ve been thinking about expanding my horizons.” She smiled. “I guess I’m ready to spread my wings, so to speak.”
Love Finds You in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania Page 21