by Maya Banks
“That’s a shitty thing to say,” Greer said in a low voice.
She pushed herself up, crawled to the end of the bed and turned so she could see them both.
“I’m not trying to be shitty. I have a right to ask these questions. Have you and Taggert even considered what kind of life we’ll have? God knows I didn’t give it any thought before I came barging in here four years ago throwing my feelings around.”
She hated the hint of vulnerability that shadowed her voice. Hated even more that her hands shook.
Greer elbowed up and shifted his body so he was closer. The muscles in his shoulders rippled as he reached for her. She put her hands out to ward him off, but he caught her fingers and threaded them through his.
“What we’ve considered is that we’ll have a life with you. That’s all we care about. Will it be easy? Hell, I don’t know. I’ve never even tried to wrap my brain around a situation like this. Did I accept it overnight? No. I wish I had. Then maybe you and Sean would be here. It took me a long damn time, but I know what I want, Emmy. I want you.”
“Oh Greer,” she whispered. “Don’t blame yourself. What I wanted—what I suggested was so out of bounds. You can’t blame yourself for thinking I was crazy.”
“I’ll make you a deal.” Taggert’s eyes glittered with grim determination. “You don’t blame yourself and we won’t blame ourselves.”
“The point is, we can play the blame game for eternity,” Greer said. “But it won’t change a damn thing. Sean’s gone. We can’t bring him back no matter how much we want to.”
Pain slashed through her chest, and tears clouded her vision. He didn’t say it to be hurtful, but the resignation in his voice got to her in a way nothing else had. Sean was gone. He wasn’t coming back. Ever.
She rolled away, unable to face either of them. She clutched her arms and bowed her head, willing herself not to break again. There was nothing left. She didn’t have the strength for another emotional outburst.
Strong arms surrounded her, holding her, offering her love and support.
“Emmy.”
Said so tenderly her heart clenched, her name slid over her ears and straight into her soul. She turned her face up to see Greer looking at her with the pain of so many memories burning in his eyes.
“We loved him too. We miss him. But he’s not coming back. You’re alive. You have to live. You can’t go on like you have. Taggert and I love you. We want you to stay with us. We know it won’t be easy. We don’t even know what to expect. It’s new to us and we’ll have to work at it. Together. Give us the chance we didn’t give you four years ago. Let us love you.”
She raised haunted eyes and looked straight through Greer’s soul. He felt her pain. It was a tangible, terrible thing. Her grief spilled over into the room. Her guilt. If only he could take it away. He couldn’t. But he could love her. He could cherish her. Offer her all the things he should have given her four years ago.
He glanced over at Taggert and saw the same grim resolve reflected on his face. Emily was theirs. They might not have always acknowledged it, but it didn’t change the utter truth. She belonged to them. She’d always belonged to them.
She sagged against Taggert in a gesture of surrender. Fatigue hollowed her eyes. Making love to her when she was so fragile had probably been a bastard thing to do but he—they—had been unable to resist any longer. They’d waited a damn long time. They weren’t waiting anymore.
Taggert pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head and snagged his fingers in her long hair.
“Lie back down, Emmy. Rest. I’ll be here. Sleep and we’ll face tomorrow together.”
She closed her eyes and then allowed Taggert to ease her down on the mattress. She crawled onto the pillows and curled into a tight ball. She fell asleep before either man could recline beside her. Instead they sat toward the end of the bed watching the soft rise and fall of her chest.
Greer drew in a deep breath and avoided Taggert’s thoughtful stare. Hell, he was sitting on a bed in his underwear with his brother after they’d made love to the same woman. It didn’t get any weirder than that.
He slid off the bed and stood abruptly, his back to both Taggert and Emily.
“She’s right you know,” Taggert said in a low voice. “Have we really considered the life we’ll have? We’ve talked some but mainly we’ve avoided the issue, believing it’ll all work out. But will it?”
Greer cursed under his breath. He didn’t appreciate Tagg’s cold logic. Not now. He didn’t want reality. Didn’t want to face any harsh truths. What he wanted was to keep Emily safe from the world. From her bastard father and the prying eyes of others. But that wasn’t possible. They lived on a ranch where a number of other hands lived as well. How would they look at Emily knowing he and Taggert both shared her bed and her love? Would they think she was some easy lay, there for any man’s taking? He’d kill any son of a bitch who ever acted on that impulse.
“We can only control the way we deal with things. We can’t make others accept it. We can’t keep them from speculating. Any life we have with Emily will be open to the public if she goes back to singing, and if I have my way, she will sing again. She stands to lose more and be hurt more by her relationship with us. If she can deal with it, then I sure as hell can take whatever heat we get.”
Taggert nodded, some of the tension easing from his brow. “You’re right. If Emily is willing to put so much on the line to be with us, then I can man up and do the same. I just don’t like the idea of her being hurt. She’s been hurt enough.”
“Her father could be a problem.”
Hatred for Cecil Patterson left an acid taste in Greer’s mouth. The idea that he’d beaten Emily filled him with such rage that it was all he could do not to go give the old man a taste of his own medicine.
“He won’t say anything,” Taggert said. “He’ll pretend Emily doesn’t exist, but he won’t shoot off his mouth because it will hurt his standing in the community, or so he thinks.”
“The people of Creed’s Pass have been good to Emily. They’ve always been proud of her fame. I’d like to think they won’t turn their backs on her because of us.”
Taggert’s expression turned thoughtful. “No reason to flaunt our relationship in front of them. Word will get round quick enough, but that doesn’t mean we need to give them any more to gossip about.”
“I agree. I wouldn’t be comfortable making a spectacle of our relationship anyway.”
Emily stirred and turned over, curling once again into a small ball. Taggert smiled, a soft gesture that told Greer how much his older brother felt for her. Taggert reclined on the bed and pulled her against him. Greer suddenly felt like a voyeur, an intruder in something intimate.
He turned toward the door. He needed a cigarette in the worst way. “Think I’ll head down. I won’t be able to go to sleep anyway. See you at breakfast.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Arousal stirred deep within her and fluttered outward in exquisite waves. Emily opened her eyes just as Taggert moved over her, parted her thighs and settled his heavy erection at her entrance.
He lowered his head and captured her lips in a more demanding, less gentle measure than before. She responded eagerly to his possession. This is what she waited for. For him to take her. She wouldn’t break no matter how delicate she may appear. She needed this more than she needed her next breath.
“We didn’t use protection, Emmy,” he murmured over her lips. “Neither of us did. I don’t have it now. I need to know how you feel about that. About having our babies. We should have asked, should have protected you better. You’re fragile right now. I need to know if it’s too soon. You could be pregnant already.”
She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around her neck to pull his mouth down to hers again.
“I want a normal life,” she admitted. “I want all the things I wanted with Sean. I want a family. Children. I want you and Greer and this ranch. I don’t ever want to leave. Make love
He groaned low in his throat, a tortured sound that told her of his fight to maintain control.
“I love you,” she whispered. “Love me too.”
“Aww Emmy, I love you more than anything.”
He reached down and gently touched her clitoris. He traced the line of the hood that protected the sensitive bundle of nerves, and then he reached lower, testing her readiness with one fingertip.
With a sigh of pleasure, she arched into him, bumping into the head of his cock. He stiffened and then thrust forward, easing into her wetness.
Inch by inch he sank deeper until his body met hers. She cradled him, holding him as tightly as he held her. There was such a sense of rightness, of homecoming. It was impossible for her to tell him just how much she’d missed him, how she’d dreamed of a moment just like this. But she could show him. She could love him back with every part of her self.
She kissed his jaw and then his neck. She tasted him, running her tongue from the curve of his shoulder up to the spot right behind his ear. He shuddered against her and moaned, but he moved closer, seeking more of her mouth.
The muscles in his back rippled and bulged under her fingers, and she lovingly traced the lines, enjoying his strength. Hers. He was hers in a way she’d never dreamed of him being.
Back and forth, his body rose and fell, and she held him to her by wrapping her legs around his hips. In this moment there was no pain, no sorrow. She was free from the relentless ache of the past year.
Hope. She had a future. Here in Taggert’s arms. He and Greer would protect her and love her. She’d give them her love, children. They’d be a family just as she’d always wanted.
Oh Sean.
Sweet, sweet Emmy.
She could hear his voice as if he whispered directly in her ear. She could see him smiling tenderly down at her.
Be happy, my love. Be happy.
Tears leaked from her eyes, and she buried her face in Taggert’s neck even as she shook with the sweetest of orgasms. It was mind-blowing, an explosion to rival a volcano. It was heartrendingly beautiful. It was what she needed.
They love you too. Just as I do.
“I know,” she whispered.
“What do you know?” Taggert asked as he kissed away the tears.
“That you love me.”
“Do you really?”
She smiled and reached up to stroke his face. “Yeah. I do.”
He kissed her fingers and rubbed his face back into her palm.
“This time it’s forever, Songbird. We won’t let you go again.”
She swallowed and sucked in a deep breath. It was hard to breathe when her chest was about to cave in.
“No, you won’t let me go,” she said with conviction.
She could see the resolve in his eyes, and in this moment she believed with all her heart that he meant every word of his declaration.
***
In the early hours of the morning, Emily stepped out the back door and wrapped the light shawl around her shoulders. She’d left Taggert sleeping, and she hadn’t seen Greer on her way down. Buck was due in the kitchen any moment, and she didn’t want to get stuck for breakfast.
There was something she needed to do.
With every step closer she got to the small graveyard, her heart grew a little heavier. The eastern sky had lightened just enough that pale lavender coated the headstones and outlined the large oak tree. The branches hovered protectively over generations past and those whose present had ended all too soon.
She stared at Sean’s grave and then slowly knelt on the cold ground in front of the granite stone that marked his birth and death.
With trembling fingers she traced his name.
“I’m home, you know,” she said conversationally.
It sounded quite absurd, but it felt good to talk to Sean again, and she knew he could hear her. Knew he was with her. She could feel the warmth of his arms around her.
“Taggert and Greer came for me, but then you probably knew they’d eventually drag me back to the MPR. You’d approve, no doubt. They share your stubbornness, or maybe you share theirs.”
She stared at the stone and paused, content to listen to the early morning sounds of the world around her awakening. She could almost hear the gentle strains of his guitar as the strings came alive at his fingertips.
“They say they love me,” she said softly. “Only you’d know how much that means to me and how it scares me to death. You know how much I love them. Like I loved you. I always hated you knowing it because I felt like it wasn’t fair. But you always understood. God, I loved you for that. Never with anyone else was I able to completely be myself. You loved and accepted me. Every part, good and bad. I’ll never have another friend or lover like you, Sean. I hope you know that. I’ll never forget you, and I’ll never stop loving you. But I want you to know that I’m going to start living again. I want the babies that you and I planned. I want a family and I want to be home again. I’m just so sorry I kept you from your home and family for so long.”
She leaned forward and kissed the cool marble and closed her eyes. It all felt so final, and she knew for the first time, she was letting go. Acknowledging that Sean was gone. It hurt. God, it hurt. He was gone and she’d never see him again. How was she ever supposed to get over that kind of pain?
Again she felt his gentle warmth surround her. Love, so much love, and she smiled through her tears.
“Still kicking my ass, huh.”
Sing for me, Emmy. One more time. Just for me.
She felt the whisper in her mind, and for the first time didn’t feel the paralyzing fear that accompanied the thought of singing.
The lyrics to Montana Memories danced on her tongue, and her throat quivered in anticipation.
And then she opened her mouth and the melody spilled out into the early morning air. Pure and beautiful. Haunting. It carried on the breeze and straight to heaven.
For you, Sean.
She closed her eyes and sang from the depths of her heart. She poured every ounce of her love into the words. She remembered the first time she’d ever met the Donovan brothers. All the times Sean had picked her up when she fell, tended her scrapes, rebraided her hair so her father wouldn’t scold her. The times he took her swimming. The night he came for her and took her away from her father. The night they got married, just two scared kids determined to forge their own path in life.
She felt a warm touch on her cheek, but when she opened her eyes, all she could see were the sun’s rays as they shone through the branches of the oak tree.
And then a great weight lifted. She felt freer than she’d felt in so long. The sun’s rays warmed her but hope burned hotter. Sean would always be a part of her life. A treasured memory. She’d love him always. But now she had something else to live for. Herself. Taggert and Greer. Her future.
It was always there, Emmy. You just had to reach out and take it.
Sean’s chiding voice made her smile. Oh yes, it was just like him to scold her.
She ran down the hill toward the ranch, her hair flying in the breeze. She laughed and God, it felt so good to be happy again.
Greer met her at the back gate, a scowl on his face as he waited.
“Where the hell have you been, Emmy? No one saw you leave. You could say something, damn it.”
She launched herself at him, laughing like an idiot. He was forced to catch her, and she wrapped herself around him, peppering his face with kisses.
He staggered back under the impact, but caught himself and stood steady.
“What the hell’s got into you?”
She grinned and kissed him again. “Take me to bed. I’ll show you precisely what’s got into me.”
His grip tightened on her ass, and she felt the current race through his body.
“Hell, Emmy, sun’s up. Work to be done. Buck has breakfast on the table.”
“You could play hooky,” she said innocently. “I���d make it worth your while. Or you could just take me behind the barn. Or better yet in the barn. I always wanted to make out in the hayloft.”
“The hell I will,” he muttered.
He swung around, arms tight around her and strode back toward the house. The hands hadn’t made their appearance yet, and he simply strode past Taggert, bypassed the kitchen and headed up the stairs.
She almost giggled but thought better of goading him.
He shoved his bedroom door open, walked forward and dumped her on the bed then returned to kick the door shut. He took his hat off, then reached for the buttons on his shirt. She watched in fascination as he methodically removed every stitch of his clothing.
When he was naked, he advanced on the bed, his cock jutting upward, stiff and painfully erect. She licked her lips, and he stopped with an inarticulate groan.
“Goddamn, Emmy,” he muttered. “You’re killing me, you know that?”
She gave him an innocent look and then crawled forward to meet him as he got to the edge. She cupped his balls, fondling and rolling the supple flesh in her palm. Then she guided him to her mouth, sucking him inward.
His hands tangled in her hair, and his breath escaped in a hiss.
“Jesus that feels good.”
She smiled and took him deeper, enjoying his taste and the sensation of so much hardness on her tongue. Steel encased in softness. The contrast fascinated her.
She grasped the base of his penis and rolled the foreskin up and down in unison with the movements of her mouth. His fingers dug into her scalp and then gentled, and he stroked through her hair, murmuring his love and approval as she coaxed him close to release.
One drop slipped onto her tongue, and she increased her pace, but he cupped her chin and eased away. She looked up to see the strain on his face. He was so close. Why had he pulled away?
“Strip,” he gritted out.
Her eyes widened at the guttural command but she hastily complied, pulling at her clothes and shimmying out of her pants. In seconds she was naked.
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