by Ward, Tamryn
“I…it’s okay,” she whispered.
“No it’s not. I’ve been acting like a complete asshole lately. I’ve never been like this with a girl.”
I’ve never been like this with a guy, either. She jerked up her chin and planted an expression on her face that she hoped resembled a smile. “I’m a big girl. Don’t worry.”
“It won’t happen again.”
That was what I was afraid of. “No biggie.”
“I don’t want this…problem…to get in the way of me and Logan. He told me he sees me as a big brother, someone to kind of show him the ropes. He says you don’t understand what it’s like being a man.”
She had to laugh at that statement. Logan wasn’t even close to being a man yet. “Far be it from me to get in the way of your male bonding. What manly skill will you teach him next? The art of spitting?”
At that little jab, Aeron grinned too. And of course her heart did a little pittery-pattery jump.
Maybe if he would stop sending her mixed signals her body would stop responding to him like this. Maybe. A part of her hoped it wouldn’t. That part wanted him to throw caution to the wind and follow his impulses to kiss her until she couldn’t see. She wanted him to touch her, everywhere. To take away the throbbing ache deep inside.
“No, I was thinking about teaching him the time-honored art of belching.” He have one last nod then turned to the stairs. “Well, I’ll see you later. Logan said he wanted to take Cojack for a walk. I told him I’d bring him by later this afternoon.”
“Okay.” She watched him descend one step, another.
He twisted around, looking up at her. “It isn’t that you aren’t pretty enough. You are…beautiful.” Shaking his head, he caught his lower lip with his teeth.
“Thanks,” she said.
“I can’t stay here.” His gaze locked on hers.
“You said that.” Her lungs deflated. He was staring. He looked…hungry.
“There’s nothing I can do about it.”
What did he say? “Right.”
“I have no choice.” He took one step back up, and she gulped in a little gasp.
“No choice,” she echoed.
“None.” He took another step. His hands were balled into fists, hanging at his sides.
“No choice,” she repeated, little jolts of energy zipping up and down her nerves. He was coming back. Yes, oh yes. And he had that look in his eye. That conflicted, aroused, wild look. It thrilled her. It scared her.
He closed the distance between them. “Tell me to leave.”
She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.
“Tell me now,” he demanded.
She lifted her eyes to his and shook her head.
“If I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop.”
She didn’t care if he couldn’t stop.
His head tipped. His hand lifted to her face. He pinched her chin between his thumb and index finger, holding it in place. Her heart rate kicked into high speed as seconds dragged by in slow motion. His head dipped lower, lower, coming closer. His mouth, that sweet, intoxicating mouth, would meet hers any moment. Her eyelids drifted shut. She waited, breathless, every cell in her body pleading for him to kiss her.
“Say it. Say it now,” he demanded, his breath gusting over her lips, making them tingle.
“Kiss me.”
“That wasn’t what I wanted you to say.”
“Kiss me,” she repeated.
He growled, clapped his arms around her body and jerked her against him. Her body smashed against his, soft against hard, small against large. At the same time, his mouth claimed hers. She parted her lips to suck in a gasp, and his tongue slid into her mouth. The kiss was absolute ecstasy. Pure, unadulterated pleasure. The taste of his kiss, the feel of his strong, huge body pressed against hers, the sound of his deep breaths as they both were swept up in the heat blazing between them.
She flung her arms around his neck and clung to him. He wouldn’t stop this time. She could feel it in his kiss. His mouth possessed hers fully, without apology. Taking everything she offered. She let her tongue explore the depth of his sweet mouth, stroking, stabbing. And with every little motion, her blood pounded harder, hotter through her body. A whimper slipped up her throat and echoed in their joined mouths. In response, he tightened his grip on her, turning her and walking her backward.
Toward the bed.
His mouth left hers, traveling down one side of her neck. He nipped and nibbled and licked until she shivered against him. Goose bumps erupted over the right side of her body, and blasts of erotic heat shot through her, up and down, from the center out.
Take me, her body pleaded. Take me now. She let her head fall back, giving him greater access to her neck. He caught the back of her head in his hand, supporting it, turning it slightly before suckling on her earlobe.
“Tell me to stop,” he begged. “Tell me now.”
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. No.
Instead, she fisted his shirt and tried to pull him closer. He shoved her roughly, and together they fell backward. She bounced on the mattress, body smashed under his. He caught his weight on outstretched arms and slammed his mouth over hers again. He tongue did things she didn’t know could be done. And she gladly opened to him, accepting each stroke and stab and thrust. As blood pounded through her, she found her hips rocking back and forth, back and forth, grinding her aching tissues against his rigid form. He bent a knee and wedged it between her thighs, pushed it high up until it rested against her center. The pressure felt so good she couldn’t help groaning.
“Tell me to stop, Jenn,” he said, breathless, his voice low and husky and sexy.
“No.”
“Tell me now.”
“No.”
He shifted his weight, balancing it on one hand. “Look at me.”
She opened her eyes.
He was so gorgeous. She could hardly believe he wanted her. She could barely believe she was lying beneath him now.
“I want you,” he said. “But I don’t want to.”
She skimmed her hands up his chest, tracing the lines of bulging muscle through his shirt. He was built like a model. She hadn’t seen him without clothes yet, but she could tell. Down her hands traveled, down the center of his chest and stomach. They stopped at his belt buckle. She started to unfasten it, but he caught her hands with his.
“Stop.”
She ignored him, pulling on his belt again.
Moving suddenly, roughly, he grabbed one of her wrists and slammed it against the mattress. “I said stop. I can’t do this to you.”
He couldn’t stop. That was far crueler. Couldn’t he see that?
Using her other hand, she pried his fingers away from her wrist and placed his hand palm down on her breast.
“Dammit, Jenn.” Even as he said those words, his fingers moved, caressing her flesh.
Writhing beneath him once again, she grabbed the bottom of her towel and lifted it until his hand—still cupped over her breast—stopped her.
“Dammit,” he said on a growl. He jerked her towel up higher, exposing her bra. “You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect.”
His words made her heart skip several beats. He thought she was perfect? Really?
She arched her back as he slid his hands beneath it. Would he unhook her bra? She hoped so.
He tugged, and the hooks unfastened. She quivered, anticipation charging through her like a jolt of electricity. He pushed her bra cups out of the way, dipped his head and flicked the tip of his tongue over her nipple.
She caught his hair in her fists and held him there. He would not stop. Not this time. She wouldn’t let him. Thanks to him, to what he was doing, she hurt. Everywhere. She needed him now, craved his touch, his kiss, his strokes.
“Jenn.” The word was a warning. She heard it in the tone of his voice. But she didn’t care. She tightened her grip on his silky hair, refusing to let him lift his head.
He pulled her nipple
into his warm mouth, and she practically died. There was no going back now. She would have sex with Aeron. He would take her innocence. Here. Now. Today. Aeron would be her first. His free hand cupped her other breast, fondling it, pinching her nipple and rolling it.
He suckled harder, and little blades of pleasure stabbed through her, as if there was a direct connection between her breasts and the throbbing tissues between her legs. Although she had no idea what it felt like to be filled, she was desperate for the aching emptiness to end.
“Touch me,” she begged. “Please.”
“Jennifer.”
“Please.” She took his hand from her breast and placed it over her mound. Just the heat of his skin felt better. She opened her legs wider. His hand slid down, covering the part that burned the hottest. But her panties were in the way. They had to go. Now. Right this second.
She whimpered and rocked her hips against his hand.
Nobody had ever told her it would be like this, that when the right guy touched her, she would die if he didn’t take her. And she would die. She swore it. If he didn’t fill her, she would perish.
A soft noise cut through the gusting of their heavy breathing.
“Jenny?” a little voice said.
Logan’s little voice.
“Ohmygod!” she snapped, clawing at Aeron’s back so he lay on top of her, covering her exposed chest. “Logan, get out and close the door.”
“Jenny, what is Aeron doing?”
Aeron was lying flat on top of her now, one arm caught between their bodies, his hand wedged between her thighs. “I’ll be out in a minute. Go. Now!”
“O-okay.”
The door clicked.
Aeron jerked upright. He jammed his hands through his messed hair. His face was the shade of a stop sign. “Shit.”
“I can’t believe he just caught us like that.”
“It’s a good thing.” Jerking his gaze away from her, he grabbed her cover and tossed it over her. “Things got out of hand. We almost…”
“I didn’t want you to stop.”
“I was weak. It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.”
Once again, his words crushed her heart. “Would it be so bad?” she snapped, letting some of that hurt out.
“Not for me, hell no. For me it would be great. But for you…I won’t hurt you. I promise. No matter what it costs me.”
Too late.
He already had.
Ten
The next day Jenn didn’t see Aeron. He didn’t come over. He didn’t call. Nothing. After school Logan wandered around the house, moping. He was quiet and sad.
Meanwhile Jenn sat at her computer and tried to write. For hours, she stared at the empty white page, but no matter how hard she tried, no words came. Her inspiration was gone.
Gone.
That scared her.
But what scared her more was that she didn’t care. She didn’t want to write any more stupid love stories. Love wasn’t real. It was a legend, a fallacy. A silly fairytale that little girls dreamed about.
The day after, she didn’t see Aeron. Or the day after that. By Saturday night she figured he was gone for good. He’d kept his word this time—he’d made sure he couldn’t kiss her again.
On Sunday the sun was warm, the sky clear. The snow on the front lawn was almost completely melted. What was left was dirty and patchy. The giant, pitted snowballs that had never been assembled into Logan’s super-sized snowman lay scattered over the yard, their surface blackened by the spray of passing cars on the road.
Needing to get out of the house, Jenn bundled herself into her coat, boots and gloves then did the same with Logan, and they went for a walk. The air was crisp but warmer than it had been in ages. She longed for spring, for the lush scent of the earth and grass and flowers. She couldn’t wait for the gray, dingy world to bloom with color. It wouldn’t be for a long time yet, though today’s warmer temperature gave her hope that it might come earlier than normal.
“Where are we going?” Logan asked as he trotted along beside her.
“I don’t know. Just around the block. It’s good to get out and get the blood flowing.”
“We’re not going to Aeron’s house?” He pointed toward the intersection. “It’s that way.”
“No, we’re not going to Aeron’s house.”
“Why? Why hasn’t he come over?”
“Because he’s been busy.”
“Maybe he would be happy to talk to us?” Logan suggested, sounding hopeful.
“I don’t think so, Logan.”
“I miss Cojack.”
She didn’t miss Cojack, but she missed Aeron. Terribly. She missed his smile. She missed his laugh. She missed everything about him. She missed the happy, alive, normal girl she became when she was with Aeron. “I know, buddy. You haven’t seen him at all this week, have you?”
“Not since Wednesday when…when I saw you and Aeron wrestling in your room.”
Her face heated. Wrestling? She supposed it might have looked that way to her little brother. She said, “He told me he would be moving, but I didn’t know he would disappear this soon.”
“You’re sad, Jenny. You miss him a lot, don’t you?” Her brother was too freaking intuitive.
“He was beginning to become my friend.”
“Yeah. It looked like he was a good friend.” Logan kicked an old, grimy plastic cup lying crushed on the sidewalk. “Why did he go away?”
“Probably for work. He told me he has to travel a lot for his job.”
“Oh. That’s too bad.”
“He told me he would be moving away. So I guess it’s better that we don’t get too close.”
She looked up.
There was Aeron’s house.
Somehow they’d ended up walking to it anyway. She stared at it as they scuffled by. The curtains were drawn. No lights. No car in the driveway. It looked empty, abandoned. “It looks like nobody’s home.”
“It always looks like that, Jenny.”
There she was.
So close.
Right outside.
The sunlight was glinting in her hair, flashing gold. It caressed her features, illuminating her porcelain skin. It shone in her eyes.
Since that day at her house, he’d seen that face every night in his dreams. She spoke to him. She begged him to come back. She wept as he stood there frozen and mute, watching but unable to console her.
He’d never realized before that hell could be here, on earth. He was trapped in it. Lost in it. How could he guide Logan’s soul to the other side when he couldn’t even claw his way out of this hellish darkness? How?
He longed to hear her voice, to stroke her smooth skin, to smell the scent of her hair. But he didn’t dare. As it was, he could see the sadness in her eyes. And when he took her precious little brother from her, the anguish she would suffer. How could he add to that by disappearing too?
For now he had to remain silent. And he had to hope that Logan would trust him well enough by now that he would follow him.
This case just might destroy him.
He dropped on his knees and closed his eyes. Only one thing, One Person, could help him now.
He prayed.
* * * * *
There was a car parked in front of their house when they returned. Jenn recognized it right away.
What was he doing here?
As she and Logan trudged up the front steps, Bobby climbed out and strolled toward them, and she turned to Logan. “Go inside, Logan. I’ll be right in.”
“Okay, Jenny.” His boots scuffled over the front porch as he headed to the front door.
Jenn waited until Logan was inside and the door was shut before turning to Bobby. “I’m surprised to see you.”
“Yeah, I had to come back and talk to you.”
“About what?”
He sighed, glanced around the small porch then leaned back against the railing. “I had some time to think after that conversation we had. I was
a total ass. We’ve been friends for a long time. I let you down once. I can’t do it again. Do you still need someone to stay with you for a while?”
Had her prayers been answered? She was almost afraid to believe it. “Yes, I think I do. It’ll be for a short time. I’ll be turning eighteen in a few days—less than a week. Then it’s just a matter of filing the paperwork…I think…”
Bobby nodded. “I’ll do it.”
Her lungs fully inflated for the first time in weeks. “You will? What made you change your mind?”
“I don’t know. I just couldn’t stop thinking about it, about you. And Logan. And what I did when your parents died. I want to help.”
Could it be that Bobby had done some growing up in the time that they’d been apart? God, she hoped so. “That’s so…kind. Thank you.”
“No problem. So.” He shifted his weight, tipped his head toward his car. “I brought some things, if you want me to move in right away.”
“Oh, yes. Sure.”
He smiled. “Okay, good. I wasn’t exactly certain how this was going to go. Um, I can help some with money for food if you need it.”
“You’re doing me a huge favor. The least I can do is feed you.”
“Okay.” He skipped down the front steps, and Jenn followed. At his car, she learned he’d packed a lot more than a few things. His entire trunk was stuffed full of boxes and suitcases. And in his backseat were a guitar case and more boxes. “I…I’m not so good at traveling light,” he confessed, catching what had to be her look of shock.
“I see that. No biggie. There’s plenty of room in the spare bedroom.” She grabbed a box and headed toward the house.
Logan, who must have been watching, opened the front door for her just as she reached it. “Jenny, what’s happening?”
“My friend Bobby is coming to stay with us for a while.”
“Cool! Is that a guitar?” Logan said, bouncing as he watched Bobby lumber by with an armload.