An hour later and they were still haunting her. She’d always loved the life she’d built for herself. From standing behind the bar giving alcohol-assisted therapy to people who took her advice to heart, to earning the respect of lifestylers around North America.
In less than a month, her love for Laura made everything else seem less important. But Sloan was right about one thing. Changing to fit into some kind of model relationship would stifle her over time.
Besides, she expected full disclosure from her subs. Even more so with Laura, and she’d gotten that. She refused to give any less in return. Waiting to talk about all this was a damn cop-out and she knew it.
She also knew she could be everything Laura wanted. All she needed.
By being herself and nothing else.
Sloan got a weak shot by her, but she hardly noticed. Laura had her full attention again, almost as though she was right here with her. But the distraction wasn’t a bad thing. She’d fully immersed Laura into every aspect of her life, except for her favorite game. And not the one on the ice.
That was about to change.
* * *
Rolling her shoulders, Laura stared at the pile of paperwork on her desk, wondering if it had grown in the last half hour. Two weeks back and she had more than made up for her time away.
Working crazy hours had never bothered her, but now she felt every single one dragged since she didn’t get a chance to see Chicklet. Sure, they texted and talked on the phone, but that wasn’t enough.
Damn it, when did you get so needy?
Rolling her eyes, she pushed up the sleeves of her uniform and got back to typing. And glanced at her phone, hoping it had been more than five minutes since the last time she’d checked the time.
It hadn’t.
This day is never going to end!
Technically, this was her lunch break, but if she caught up on all these reports now, she wouldn’t have to stay late. She had the weekend off and had just sent off a text to tell Chicklet she’d come to the club tonight.
Her first time playing in a local club, which both thrilled and terrified her all at once. She’d told Chicklet that a few detectives went to Blades and Ice and she really didn’t want them to see her there. Which lead to a long discussion about how important privacy was in the lifestyle and the fact that Chicklet knew the men she was referring to. And they wouldn’t breathe a word about her presence to anyone.
Chicklet’s confidence didn’t come off as blind faith in the community. Laura was curious exactly how well Chicklet knew her coworkers, but she didn’t dig too deep. She wasn’t stupid. Chicklet had been in the lifestyle for a long time and had played with many different men and women. Knowing that didn’t bother Laura, but she didn’t need details unless her Mistress felt like sharing them.
A smile tugged at her lips as she repeated that word in her head. Mistress. My Mistress. How weird was it that just a few months ago she would have rejected the very idea of submitting to a woman? Of making love to one as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Her Mistress had made it clear that it was natural. Found little ways every day to let her know she was perfect the way she was. Sometimes, admitting that brought on a shadow of guilt because her foster parents had tried so hard to get that message through. And as much as she loved them, she hadn’t really believed it.
Parents were supposed to say that. Her biological ones hadn’t, but her new family had filled that hole in her heart, making sure she felt like she belonged somewhere.
But no matter what they did, they couldn’t silence that cruel voice in her head. They’d put kinder voices there, but she couldn’t help wonder how much of that was pity. She didn’t doubt their love, but really, they were just amazing people trying to do their best for a messed up little girl.
Chicklet’s voice silenced all the others, even Laura’s own when it attempted to knock her down. All she could hear when the woman was near was how beautiful she was. How soft and precious and worthy. Pain and pleasure melded together to make those words so clear. To imprint them on her soul in a way that would never fade.
A hand on her shoulder shook her from her happy thoughts. She blinked up at her brother, standing over her, his brow furrowed with concern.
“You all right, kid?” At her nod, he propped his hip on the edge of her desk. “You’re putting in some crazy hours, so I was wondering if you were burying yourself in your work, but you’ve got one eye on the clock, so you’re clearly eager to get out of here. Care to clue me in?”
Warmth crept up the back of her neck and spread over her cheeks. With anyone else, she could have laughed off the concern, but Ryan had always been her rock and she needed him to know she was all right. Better actually.
She took a deep breath, blurting out the first thing that popped into her head. “I have a girlfriend. And I’m falling in love with her. She’s…she’s everything.”
“Everything, eh?” Ryan grinned, folding his arms over his chest that way he did when he was about to pull the protective big brother routine. “Well, I’m happy that you’re happy, but I’m going to have to meet this woman soon if it’s getting serious.” His lips thinned slightly. “That boy you were dating, Mills? Almost two years and you hardly talked about him to me, never mind bring him home to mom and dad.”
Dropping her gaze, she shrugged. Mills hadn’t really been her boyfriend, but the lifestyle wasn’t something she opened up about to her family. “It was a long-distance thing I didn’t expect to lead anywhere.”
“But things with this woman are different?”
“Oh god yes! She’s…”
“Everything?” Ryan chuckled at her nod. He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m glad you finally accepted who you are. Even if you don’t tell anyone else—”
“Tell anyone else what?” Their boss, Captain Miranda Rogers, strolled up to her desk, a huge smile on her lips. “It better not be that you’re leaving us. You’re about to get a promotion, Tallent.”
Laura’s eyes widened. She’d been a beat cop for a long time, and while she’d known she was being considered, she hadn’t put too much thought into moving up in the ranks. Some found the daily grind of traffic stops and house calls tedious, but she’d built a solid relationship with the people in her neighborhood. Sure, there were days like today when she was stuck behind the desk for hours, but typically, she was out there, feeling like she could actually make a difference in someone’s life.
Was it weird that she wasn’t sure she wanted a promotion?
“Thank you, Captain. And no, I’m not going anywhere.” Laura took a deep breath. “But…am I being considered for another department?”
“Yes. Between your test scores and high recommendations from all your superiors, we could use you in the sex crimes unit. There’s also a position open in the homicide division.” The captain smiled. “Which would you prefer?”
Both were amazing opportunities and would result in a nice pay upgrade. But they would also limit her interactions with the people she was able to help every day. She thought of the school she’d visited last week to speak to a group of troubled teens. Some had pulled attitude, but a few really needed to talk. One had asked to speak to her privately. The girl was being physically abused at home and was desperate for a way out. That very day Laura had gotten social services involved and personally escorted the kid to her house to pick up a few things.
The girl was with a foster family now and had texted Laura yesterday, just to tell her that she was sleeping again and her foster father was helping her with a science project because he was ‘awesome’.
Working the streets, she still dealt with dead bodies, and victims of every crime one could think of, but she also handled things that might go under the radar. The kids on the corner that second guessed robbing someone because she slowed down when she spotted them. The man speeding to get his pregnant wife to the hospital who cried when she told him to follow her there. The mother who
se toddler had wandered off down the block the second she shifted her attention to her other child.
“You’re being very quiet, Tallent.” Captain Rogers frowned, her brow creasing slightly. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I…” Laura glanced over at her brother, who’s expression told her he’d already figured out the direction of her thoughts. He gave her a supportive smile. Exactly what she needed. She usually avoided making waves. Didn’t speak up when she was given an extra shift, even if she was exhausted.
She participated in every charity, every outreach effort, anything that was asked of her, without question.
For the first time, she found the strength to stand her ground.
Respectfully, of course.
“I appreciate the offer, Captain, but there are other officers that would make amazing additions to those units.” She squared her shoulders. “I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be.”
Studying her face for a moment, Rogers nodded slowly. “You’ll be promoted regardless, but are you sure? I won’t argue that we need someone like you on the streets, but I need to know you’re not limiting yourself for the wrong reasons.”
“What are the right reasons? I see the best and the worst of the people on my streets every day. I’m right there with them when it counts—not to say working for a special unit isn’t just as important, but I’d like to stay where I am.”
“Fair enough.” The captain reached into her pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, handing it to Ryan, who had a smug smile on his lips. “You win. Asshole.”
Ryan snorted. “I know my sister.”
“Clearly.” Rogers started turning as though to leave, then hesitated. “Was there anything you needed to talk to me about, Tallent? This isn’t a complaint, your performance is exemplary as always, but something seems…different.”
Yep, she definitely needed to pull herself together if the captain was noticing a change in her. What was different though? If it wasn’t her work…?
“You’re smiling more, sis.” Ryan patted her shoulder. “You might as well tell her before she starts thinking you’re on happy pills.”
That’s it? Laura sighed, rubbing one hand over her face. She rarely mixed her personal life with work, but she’d rather tell Rogers herself than have her surprised one day if Chicklet came by to meet her for lunch. The captain seemed fairly tolerant, but who could really tell unless the subject came up? If it was going to be an issue, better to find out sooner, rather than later.
“I met someone.” Damn it, this was awkward. She cleared her throat. “She’s very important to me, but she respects my job and the relationship won’t be a problem.”
Inclining her head, Rogers held her gaze, her expression serious. “That’s good to know. And I’m not worried about your relationship being a problem, but I want you to feel just as comfortable as any other officer here in regards to social engagements. How much you share with them is up to you, but you’re more than welcome to bring her to the picnics this summer.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
“No need to thank me. I have a feeling you haven’t been open with many, so I’m pleased you were able to tell me.” Rogers gave her shoulder a little squeeze. “Your brother’s right. You look happy.”
“I am, but I don’t need any special treatment.” Even discussing her love life here seemed wrong, but they were still on lunch. And damn it, getting that off her chest felt good. “None of this changes—”
“This isn’t special treatment, Laura. This is the same type of chat I might have with an officer who just got engaged, who has a new baby, or anything else they want to discuss with me. We’re like family here.” Rogers’ lips slanted. “I am curious to hear how your girlfriend reacts when you tell her you turned down a safer job. Those conversations are always fun.”
Oh shit. Laura’s mouth went dry, and she stared after Rogers as the captain offered her a sympathetic smile before strolling off to her office. The idea that Chicklet might be upset about her staying on patrol hadn’t even occurred to her.
Part of her wanted to take it back. Accept the offer of a job that would involve more investigation and less legwork. That would please her Mistress. Fine, they hadn’t discussed much about the dangerous side of Laura’s job, but the few times Chicklet had seen Laura with cuts and bruises on her face and body, she could tell her Mistress was worried.
A stronger part of her, the part that had her putting on this uniform every morning, well aware that today could be the last time she walked out her front door, rejected the comforting blanket of submission. It had no place here.
Either Chicklet would understand, or she wasn’t the right woman for Laura.
That settled, Laura pulled out her phone, smiling as she tapped on a video text from Chicklet. She was at the rink in Digby, her voice echoing in the near-empty arena, her hair flattened from her helmet and her skin glistening with sweat. In the background, Laura could hear someone skating.
“Hey, baby! Just wanted to give you a shout and tell you I miss you!”
The sound of blades cutting over the ice grew louder. “Let her know she’s turned you sappy as fuck.”
“Shut it, Callahan!” Chicklet shook her head, but her smile never faded. “He’s right, but I don’t give a fuck. All those love songs I thought were silly before sound different to me now. I listen to them and the words mean so much more. You did that to me.”
Laura pressed a hand to her cheek and bit her bottom lips. All the velvety warmth that filled her whenever Chicklet was around returned as she watched her, saying all those beautiful words with the same bare confidence she showed in everything she did. They weren’t much different than what Laura wanted to say, but she would have stuttered, or blushed.
Chicklet spoke the bare, honest truth without hesitation. “I’m not saying I love you. Not like this. But I am saying I need more of you. I hope you have a great day and I’m looking forward to discussing all this tonight.”
“So am I.” Laura grinned as Chicklet kissed the screen, then said goodbye. She loved how Chicklet could be sweet and strong, so full of energy, so ready to take on whatever came next without a moment of doubt.
Before her, Laura had kept her life away from the job nice, neat, and predictable. Being a cop brought her all the excitement she needed, and she’d truly believed that was enough. But Chicklet was like a fresh breeze flowing around her after breathing in nothing but stale air. Being near her made Laura feel like she was living her life for the first time.
Strange, that being with a woman who bound her in ropes and chains gave her a freedom she’d been missing before. Work made her feel alive, but without it, she’d always been lost. BDSM helped her a bit, but had barely touched the surface of her needs until Chicklet came along.
Scrolling idly through her notifications, mostly alerts from various groups she followed, Laura paused as a message popped up. She blinked as she recognized the name.
Dungeon_Lord: My sweet pet, I wanted to apologize for not seeing you while you were in Chicago. I feel even more guilty after talking to Steve and learning about the woman you played with. Please message me when you have a chance. I am coming to see you tonight.
Tonight? Damn it, Laura really hoped he hadn’t left yet. Then again, whether he was driving—which would take a ridiculously long time—or flying, he must be on his way if he planned to make it by tonight.
She opened the messenger connected to the email she used only for FetLife, snickering at her own handle, which she hadn’t used in months. At one time, she’d chatted with Mills every other day, but now she simply popped on FetLife directly to scroll through the posts.
He had her phone number, so it was a little odd that he was messaging her here rather than texting her. Unless he didn’t want his wife and girlfriend to see.
Kinky_In_Cuffs: I wish you’d called me before heading here, Mills. I appreciate your concern, but it’s really not necessary. We’ve both moved on.
He took a long time before replying.
Dungeon_Lord: Since when do I need permission to see you?
Kinky_In_Cuffs: Since you are no longer my Dom.
Dungeon_Lond: You’re right. I apologize. Please understand I’m worried. This woman abuses her slaves. Slaves, Laura. She does not respect the basic rules of the lifestyle and plays sickening head games. She often uses multiple men and women, making them fuck one another for her amusement. You must be very confused to let a woman toy with you like this.
That didn’t sound like Chicklet at all. From the conversations they’d had, Laura knew Chicklet had spent a lot of time doing events throughout North America, so maybe Mills had heard of her. But what could he have possibly heard that would make him want to come here?
And the last part…she ‘must be very confused’? She didn’t like where this was going.
Kinky_In_Cuffs: I’m not sure what you mean.
Dungeon_Lord: I’d hoped you’d find a good Dom to replace me. What’s wrong with you? You’re not a fucking lesbian, Laura. A woman can’t satisfy you.
Bile rose in her throat as she read the words. Her whole body went numb.
Kinky_In_Cuffs: A woman does. More than any man ever could. I’m sorry you wasted your time making a trip up here, but I have no interest in seeing you.
Dungeon_Lord: You will see me, Laura. I’ll be at your house at around 8PM.
Kinky_In_Cuffs: I won’t be there. Goodbye, Mills. Please don’t contact me again.
A chill skittered up her spine as she closed the app and turned off the notifications in her settings. In the two years she’d known Mills, he’d always respected her limits and given her space when she asked for it. Which hadn’t been often, but there had been times that their schedules clashed and their meetings had to be pushed back.
Butterfly Style: The Dartmouth Cobras ~ A Cobra Short Page 8