“What are you saying?”
He paused his hand on the doorknob. “I’m saying that Maggie, Spencer, and Ava’s baby sister deserves to have you as her mother.”
My Day’s To-Do List
Epilogue
Fourteen months later
She was just taking the cookies out of the oven when she heard the familiar little voice drifting up her driveway and through her front window screens. Glancing at the clock above the sink, Dani wiped her hands on the nearest dish towel and turned back to the chubby-cheeked baby happily gumming a pale yellow teething ring and watching her every move with wonder and fascination.
“Do you hear that, little one?” she asked, grinning. “I think we’re about to get a visit from a friend!”
The tiny mouth, wet with drool, spread wide in the same endearingly crooked grin Dani saw, times four, every morning when she opened her eyes. In those framed smiles, as well as the one in front of her now, she found the courage to tackle a new day. And when grief darkened her path forward, it was their light, their beauty, that got her back on track time and time again.
“C’mon, pumpkin. It’s a perfect day to—”
“It’s me, Dani! Me and Mamm! Are you home?”
Unbuckling the baby from the swing, Dani pulled the sweet wiggly body against her chest and waved the tiny hand at the heart-shaped face now peering back at them through the living room screen.
“They are home, Mamm! They are home! I see them!”
“Perhaps you should not press your face to Danielle’s window.”
“But I see them, Mamm! I see them both! See?” The screen pushed inward with Nettie’s index finger, then retracted at Lydia’s command. “They are right there. In the kitchen! And I smell cookies! Yummy ones!”
“Yummy cookies? Did someone say yummy cookies?”
Bobbing her head to the right, Dani traveled her gaze out the kitchen window to the black pickup truck stopped in line with her front porch. An added lean yielded the man who’d been a steadfast beacon through some of her stormiest days. With his solid hand and quiet friendship, she’d found a way to put herself back together—piece by piece. Very few of her pieces looked as they once had. Some were battered and worn around the edges. Others had required a few strokes of a marker to restore their missing color. And still others had come so close to breaking in two they’d required a piece of tape here and a piece of tape there just to keep them intact. But when they finally fell into place where they belonged, she was still the same person in all the ways that mattered most.
She was still Jeff’s wife . . .
She was still Maggie, Spencer, and Ava’s mom . . .
And she was still her mother’s daughter.
Nothing, not even death, could ever change those things.
But she was more than that now, too.
She was someone who sat outside and savored sunsets . . .
She was someone who looked at the clock merely as a point of reference rather than a timer . . .
She was someone who took walks to nowhere in particular. . .
She was someone who savored the here and now and tried hard to let her battle-tested faith take care of the rest . . .
All good things, no doubt.
But of all the changes that had come her way—good and bad—the very best one was in her arms at that very moment. For in her baby’s face she saw a dash of Spencer, a pinch of Ava, and a sprinkle of Maggie combined with equal parts Jeff and her mom. Yet, even with those little reminders she so cherished, Grace was just Grace, too.
Sweet.
Loving.
And a daily reminder of the importance of faith, and friends.
Breathing in her daughter’s sweet scent, Dani gathered four cookies in her hand, bypassed the stack of napkins deemed unnecessary by summer’s unwritten rules, and headed toward the front door of her new home—a home she’d fallen in love with the moment she’d laid eyes on it.
It wasn’t that it was big and fancy like the home she’d shared with Jeff and the kids. Quite the contrary, in fact. But the small rental cottage on the edge of Caleb’s property was the new start she needed. It was just far enough away from Lydia and Elijah that she had to learn to stand on her own two feet a little, yet still close enough to know Caleb’s listening ears were less than fifty feet away.
In the beginning, she’d worried that she was robbing Grace of the chance to grow up in the same home in which her brother and sisters had once lived—a home her daddy had worked so hard to buy for all of them. But if there was one thing Dani had learned since that fateful day, it was that love wasn’t defined by space or time. It was everywhere. All the time. And it was up to Dani to make sure Grace grew up truly knowing her father, her brother, her sisters, and her grandmother via the photographs and stories that would forever hold a special place in their lives.
Swinging her gaze to the table beside the door, she drank in the sight of the blue sticky note now framed and purposely placed in a spot where she and Grace would see it every time they walked out the door. Because while the words had been written for Dani, she knew they applied to Grace, as well.
“We will love you for all eternity, too,” she whispered.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
In order for you to have this book in your hand, a lot of things must happen . . .
I need an idea for a story (which, in this case, came while visiting friends in Wyoming—a place that always leaves me feeling renewed).
Then, many, many hours—stretched over months—must go into the writing. Which, as my family can tell you, often has me talking to myself and zoning off at odd times. It also means more leftovers than might otherwise be had.
When I finally type “the end,” I turn it over to my team at Kensington Publishing, knowing my wonderful editor, Esi Sogah, will help me spit shine the final product. After her comes the editing team, the marketing folks, and the sales team, who are on the ground doing their best to get this book into your hands.
And, finally, you—as the reader—must make the choice to read it. For that, I thank you. If you like what you’ve read and are curious about what else I’ve written, please visit my website at: laurabradford.com.
A READING GROUP GUIDE
PIECE BY PIECE
Laura Bradford
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The suggested questions are included to enhance your group’s reading of Laura Bradford’s Piece by Piece.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. In many ways, Danielle lives life on a schedule, her days shaped by to-do lists and appointments. How does her life resemble yours in that regard? What are some pros and cons to the way Danielle is/the way you are?
2. Danielle’s mother recognized a fatigue in Danielle that Danielle, herself, is reluctant to see. Do you think it was right or wrong of her mother to insist Danielle take time to herself?
3. Danielle is surprised by how much of her day has passed while she was reading. Have you ever lost yourself in a book like she did?
4. The life Danielle Parker has been living changes in an instant. In the blink of an eye she’s gone from a wife, daughter, and mother to being completely alone. Has there been a single instant when life seemingly changed for you? How so? Has the passage of time changed that perspective?
5. Danielle flees to Amish country in an attempt to put a little distance between herself and her reality. What do you see as the benefits/pitfalls of such a move?
6. Watching Lydia with her children, Danielle begins to question herself as a mother. Do you think this is natural? Do you think Lydia is, in fact, a better mother? Why? Why not?
7. Danielle sees talking about her loved ones as too painful and, thus, tries to steer all conversation away from them. Do you know people who do the same thing?
8. In what ways do Caleb, Lydia, Nettie, and even the setting help Danielle heal?
9. What do you think of Danielle’s decision to stay and raise her child in Amish country?
10. He
len Keller is quoted as saying, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” Do you feel that Danielle’s journey reflects this belief? How so?
Keep reading for excerpts from
Laura Bradford’s novels
Portrait of a Sister
and
A Daughter’s Truth,
available now from
Kensington Books
wherever books are sold.
Portrait of a Sister
For the second time in her life, Katie Beiler prayed for God to change His mind, to make His will reflect hers. But the click of her parents’ bedroom door, followed by her dat’s sad eyes and pasty complexion, told her it wasn’t to be.
“It is time, Katie.”
Gathering the sides of her pale blue dress in her hands, she made herself part company with the wooden chair that had been both her post and her refuge over the past twenty-four hours and rise onto shaky legs. “I will get the children.”
“No,” he said, firmly.
Her answering gasp echoed against the walls of the hallway as she reached toward him, her fingers brushing against the suspenders she’d mended during the night. “She-she’s gone? Already?”
“No, Katie. But God will welcome her soon. It is His will.”
“His will is wrong!” she hissed through clenched teeth only to bow her head in shame just as quickly. “I-I’m sorry, Dat. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Bracing herself, she lifted her watery gaze from the toes of her black lace-up boots to the amber-flecked brown eyes that matched her own. For a moment, Dat said nothing, the shock on his face the only real indication he’d heard her at all. Eventually though, he spoke, grief winning out over anger. “She has asked to speak to you alone. Go now, child, before it is too late.”
Before it is too late . . .
Her thoughts followed her father’s heavy footfalls down the stairs and then skipped ahead to the five young faces she’d tried desperately to shield from reality the past few months. Two years her junior, Samuel would be devastated, of course, but he would cover his hurt working in the fields with Dat. Jakob, at fourteen, would take his cue from Samuel. Mary and Sadie would—
“Katie?”
The weakened rasp propelled her forward and through the partially open doorway, her heart both dreading and craving what was on the other side. More than anything, she wanted a miracle to happen, but short of that, she’d be a fool to waste away whatever time they had left.
“I’m here, Mamm.” She stopped just inside the door and willed her eyes to adjust to the darkened room. “Can I get you something? Another blanket, perhaps? A glass of water?”
“You can open the shade and let the sunlight in.”
“Of course.” Crossing the room, Katie gave the dark green shade a quick tug and then watched as it rose upward to provide an uninhibited view of the fields her dat and brothers worked each and every day. She allowed herself a moment to breathe in the answering sunlight before turning back to the nearly unrecognizable shell that was her mother. “Is that better?”
“Yah.” Her mother patted the edge of the quilt-topped bed, her pale blue eyes studying Katie closely. “Come. Sit. There are things I want to say. Before it is too late.”
“Shhh,” Katie scolded. “Do not talk like that. Please.”
“The dress I am to be buried in is in my chest. It is what I wore when I married your dat.”
She stopped a few inches shy of the bed and cast her eyes down at the wood plank floor. “Mamm, please. I—”
“It is God’s will, Katie.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to lash out at those words the way she had in the hallway with Dat, but she refrained. To see the same shock on Mamm’s face would be unimaginable.
“Katie, I need you to be strong for your brothers and sisters. They will need you more than ever in the days and weeks ahead.”
Sinking onto the bed, Katie covered her mother’s cold hand with her own and gave it a gentle squeeze. She tried to speak, to offer the reassurance her mother needed, but the expanding lump in her throat made it impossible to speak.
“In another year or so, Annie will be three and Mary will be old enough to look after both her and Sadie on her own. When she is, you are to live your life, Katie. With Abram. He is a good man. Like your dat. It is my hope that your life together will make you smile again.”
“I smile,” Katie protested.
“Not as you once did.”
She felt her mother’s thumb encircling her hand and choked back a sob. “I have tried my best to keep this from the little ones. If I have failed, I am sorry . . .”
“You have done beautifully these past few months, Katie. Dat has told me so. But your smile dulled long before I got sick.”
Slipping her arm back, Katie pushed off the bed and wandered over to the window. “I painted a new milk can last night while you slept. It is of the pond in summer, the way it was before the climbing tree fell down in that storm a few years ago.” She rested her forehead against the glass pane and watched as her dat entered the fields to summon Samuel and Jakob for one final goodbye. “I will always remember the way you’d help boost me onto that first branch when I was no bigger than Sadie is now. I was so frightened that first time.”
“That is because I boosted you first. When Hannah went first and reached down for your hand, you were not afraid.”
Just like that, the tears she’d managed to keep to herself in her mother’s presence began their descent down her cheeks. “I do not want you to go, Mamm. I-I need you . . .”
“You need only the Lord, Katie, you know that.”
She bowed her head in shame. “You are right, Mamm. I know I should not be afraid.”
But I am, she wanted to add. Horribly, desperately afraid . . .
“Do not forget what the apostle Paul said, Katie. To fulfill the law of Christ, brethren must bear one another’s burdens. There will be many hands ready to help you, Dat, and the children.”
The children . . .
She lifted her gaze to the window again in time to see Dat heading back toward the house flanked by Samuel on one side and Jakob on the other. Their brimmed hats made it so she couldn’t see her brothers’ faces, but her mind could fill in the blanks.
Samuel would be stoic like their father—any emotion offset by his steadfast belief that Mamm’s passing was God’s will. He would mourn her, of course, but there would be work to be done.
Jakob would surely mimic Samuel, but she knew that in moments alone, while feeding the calves or milking the cows, the younger boy would grieve the woman he still looked to for hugs when he thought no one else was looking.
“I will hug Jakob for you,” Katie whispered. “Until he does not need it anymore.”
“Thank you, Katie.”
She heard the faint sound of the screen door downstairs as it banged closed behind her father and brothers. If Dat had told Mary first, the thirteen-year-old would no doubt have Sadie and the baby ready and waiting for the family’s final moments together. If he hadn’t, Katie could imagine her sister looking up from the chair in which she was giving Annie her morning bottle, wondering if she was late in preparing a meal. The absence of footsteps on the stairs told her it was the latter.
A noticeable change in her mother’s breath made her turn and scurry back to the bed. “Mamm?”
“It is almost time, Katie.”
She looked down at her mother, at the gaunt face and the dark shadows that encircled hesitant eyes. “Do not worry, Mamm. Please. I will take care of them all—Samuel, Jakob, Mary, Sadie, Annie, and Dat. I promise.”
“That is not all that I worry about.”
Swooping down to her knees, she gathered her mother’s cold hands inside her own and tried to warm them with her breath. “There is nothing for you to worry about, Mamm.”
“There is you, Katie.”
She drew back. “Me?”
“Yah.”
<
br /> “But—”
“I want you to be . . . happy . . . again. The way you were when—”
A succession of footsteps on the staircase cut her mother’s sentence short and brought Katie back to her feet. She’d had her time with Mamm. To take more would be selfish. “The others are coming to say goodbye.” Bending over, she held her lips to her mother’s forehead while she worked to steady her own voice. “I love you, Mamm.”
“I love you, Katie.”
The footsteps on the other side of the door grew louder as they crested the top of the stairs and headed in their direction. Suddenly, it was as if she were being hoisted into that old climbing tree all over again. And just as she’d been when she was four, she was terrified—terrified at the notion of leaving her mother’s arms behind.
“They’re here, Mamm,” she whispered. “I’ll let them in.”
Her mother’s answering nod was slow and labored, but the sudden grip on Katie’s arm was anything but. “Tell her, Katie. Tell . . . Hannah . . . I . . . love . . . her.”
A Daughter’s Truth
Not for the first time, Emma Lapp glanced over her shoulder, the utter silence of the sparsely graveled road at her heels deafening. On any other day, the mere thought of leaving her sisters to do her chores would fill her with such shame she’d no doubt add their tasks to her own as a way to seek atonement inside her own heart. Then again, on any other day, she would be gathering the eggs and feeding the orphan calf just like always.
But today wasn’t just any day. Today was her birthday. Her twenty-second, to be exact. And while she knew better than anyone else what the rest of her day would and wouldn’t entail, this part—the part she’d been anticipating since her last birthday—had become her happy little secret.
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