“Jack,” Gavin whispered.
“Who?” she asked.
“Jack,” he repeated. “We were together. He was driving.”
“I don't know,” she said. “You're back in the states.”
“What?” he asked, barely able to speak.
“They kept you asleep while they transported you. You suffered some head trauma, and they wanted you to be safe. We've been waiting for you to wake up for a couple of days. You scared us there for a bit.”
“Gracie,” he whispered.
“Your parents are on their way,” she said. “They should be here soon.”
“Jack,” he said.
“I'll see what I can find out,” she said, as she shot something into the tube in his arm. “How do you feel?”
“Hurting,” he said, as his eyes began to close.
Gavin did everything he could to fight them from closing. He needed to see Jack. He needed to know that he was okay. No! Do not close, he thought. Then his world went black again.
He was right there. Jack was there. They were talking. Jack was driving. There was that boom again. Gavin felt his body fly. It hurt so fucking bad.
Gavin gasped and his eyes shot open. He tried to move, but it hurt too damn bad. He looked to the side and saw his mom sitting in a chair with her head on his bed next to his hand. His dad was standing in the corner and had turned when he heard him. There were tears running down his dad's cheeks. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his father cry.
“Dad,” Gavin whispered.
His mom's head came up from the mattress, and she got to her feet. Her hand grabbed his, and he winced from the pain.
“Sorry,” she said. “I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you.”
“Jack,” he said, as he looked between them.
“Gavin,” his dad said, as he walked closer and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
“You need to rest,” his mom said.
“Where the fuck is Jack?” he growled through clenched teeth.
Tears slipped from his mom's eyes and down her face.
“Please rest,” she said.
“Tell me,” he demanded.
Her tears turned to sobs, as she grabbed his hand again.
“No!” he said. “It can't be.”
“Settle down,” his dad said calmly.
“It can't be,” Gavin repeated. “He's okay. I know he is.”
“No,” was all his mom could get out.
“He has to be okay. I was supposed to keep him safe. He's my best friend.”
Gavin saw the nurse walk around his parents. His mom leaned in and carefully wrapped her arms around him.
“I love you,” she said.
“Please tell me you're wrong,” he said. “You have to be wrong.”
“No,” she said. “I wish I was.”
“It can't be,” he said.
“We love you so much. Everyone is so worried,” his dad said. “They all want you home.”
“No,” he said. “You're wrong about him.”
“I'm so sorry, Gavin,” his mom said.
The nurse put something into that damn tube on his arm again. Before long, he was fighting to keep his eyes open again.
“You're all wrong,” was the last thing he said before his world went black yet again.
Chapter 18
Gracie
Gracie sat at her brother's funeral with tears streaming down her face. She was numb and had been since she'd seen her parents on their knees and those men at the door. Everything had changed. Her life would never be the same. There were so many thoughts running through her mind every moment of every day. Even in her sleep, she thought about Jack and Gavin. She was running on auto pilot. Part of her wasn't sure she ever wanted to be able to feel again.
Ethan was right there next to her, and Jessie was on the other side crying harder than she had ever seen her cry. Gracie's parents were there, and Gavin's parents had come back to be there with them. Everyone from the crew was there with her, but she didn't care. None of it mattered. Jessie had been contacting her every day, even after she'd found out that her brother was alive. She'd gone back to school but was home again for Jack's funeral.
The town made a huge deal of them bringing Jack home. She knew it was only because he was gone though. There were so many people at his funeral that Gracie had never seen before. It was a closed casket, they said it had to be. Gracie told herself Jack wasn't really in it. If she just pretended he was still gone, she would be fine. Maybe it was all a horrible misunderstanding. Maybe it wasn't really his body, not that she wanted it to be anyone else either. She did her best to convince herself that he was alive. Her brother couldn't be dead.
No matter what she told herself, she kept thinking about Gavin. She tried to hate him. He deserved it, she thought. He'd failed. His only job was to bring jack home safe. She remembered telling Gavin she'd never forgive him if anything happened to her brother. Did she still feel that way, she wondered? She wanted to so badly. Gracie was so afraid that Gavin had been killed too. When she heard his parents and hers downstairs two days after those men had been there, she felt a slight bit of relief. They were leaving to go see Gavin. All they knew was that he had injuries, but he was going to live. Gracie hadn't asked much after they left, and when they came back, they'd spent time helping her parents prepare.
When everyone stood up at the funeral, Ethan grabbed Gracie's arm to guide her out. She had no idea what had been said, all she saw was that everyone was crying. The one thing she did notice was that every one of the firefighters Jack had worked with had all shown up together. Why that was what she noticed, she didn't know. Some of them were crying, and that meant something to her. She remembered Jack talking about how close he had become to them. They were a family. When he told her that, she thought it was strange. She worked with so many people, and none of them felt like family. Gracie got along with everyone at the restaurants, so that wasn't it. Seeing all of the guys at Jack's funeral together helped her to see they really were close. Maybe it was because they all saved lives together, she thought. It must have given them a special bond. Her dad was still friends with some of the guys he used to work with as well. Gracie knew one day she'd want to visit them like she used to with her mom when she was younger.
“You okay?” she heard her dad pull her from her thoughts.
“Yes,” she said, as she dried what tears she still felt on her face.
The lunch they had after the service was really nice. Her dad had closed one of the restaurants for the day, and that's where they held it. Gracie was in a place she knew well, but everything still felt wrong. When she looked over at her crying mom, she knew she didn't want to give her parents anything else to worry about. She looked around at the people she loved, her crew and their parents. Losing Jack had hit all of them hard. They all looked exhausted. She put a smile on her face, walked up behind her mom, and leaned down to hug her.
“I love you,” she said.
“Love you too,” her mom said. “How are you? I've been such a mess and haven't checked on you.”
“I'm fine,” Gracie said. “I'll be fine. Just take care of yourself.”
Gracie kept her arms around her mom's shoulders.
“How's Gavin?” she asked Becky, who was only one seat away from her mom.
“We're worried about him,” she answered. “He wouldn't talk about the accident. Each time we brought it up, he'd shut down.”
“He's going to be okay though?” Gracie asked.
“He broke his arm pretty badly. They were worried about his head, but he's okay. They said he has cuts and some burn type marks on his body too. He'll be fine. It's just going to take time.”
“Should we visit him?” Gracie asked, more for herself than anyone.
“I'm not sure,” Becky answered. “He told us to go home and be with your parents. We planned to go back tomorrow, but he told us Nate needed us more. He said he
didn't want to see anyone until he came home. He's told the hospital not to let anyone in.”
“When is that going to be?”
“We're not sure,” Becky answered with a sad tone. “They said he can stay until he's healed or come home and be treated here. He needs to decide. We got him a new phone. He has the same number as before. I'm going to check in with him every day. He should be here with us, I just have to get him to believe that.”
Someone walked up between Becky and Gracie's mom, so Gracie let go of her mom and walked to where her dad was talking to one of the servers.
“Hey,” he said, when she walked up.
“Hey,” she said with that forced smile. “Go be with mom. I'll take care of everything here.”
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered.
“Okay,” he said. “Thank you! I don't know what I'd do without you.”
She saw that sad expression cross his face.
“Go,” she said.
He walked away and she began to busy herself with work. It didn't matter that she should be sitting with her family. She knew if she didn't work, she'd end up a mess of blubbering tears. That wasn't something her parents needed added to what they were already dealing with. She could keep it together for them. They'd already lost their son. They didn't need to be worrying about their daughter too.
Gracie walked over to her purse and grabbed her phone. She'd sent Gavin several emails but thought that there was no way for him to get them. He hadn't answered a single one. Becky said he had a phone. Maybe he hadn't checked his email with it yet, Gracie thought. She hadn't sent a text yet. That was why he hadn't answered her.
Gracie: You scared the shit out of us. You okay?
Gracie instantly felt relief knowing he could answer her back. She needed to hear from him that he was okay. It needed to come from him. At least she'd be able to communicate with him, even if it was just to tell him how angry she was. She wasn't kidding herself. He was the only one she wanted to talk to about Jack being gone. The entire time Ethan had been right there next to her, she couldn't help but want Gavin to be the one there instead. She slipped her phone into the pocket of her pants so she'd hear it when he replied.
Chapter 19
Gavin
Gavin slept as much as he could. He was happy to have whatever they were pumping into him for the pain. It was dulling all of him, and that was exactly what he wanted. His parents got him a phone before they went back home. He asked them not to come back. His little brother needed them, and he wanted to be alone. He didn't want to see anyone.
He'd been so eager to get home to Gracie to see if there was any chance she felt what he was feeling. She'd been the one he wanted to talk to every time he thought he missed home. His feelings for her had grown so strong during the time they were still in the states and even more once he'd been deployed. She had a sarcastic side that kept him on his toes and laughing constantly, but she had another side as well. One that seemed to know exactly what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it. She wrote things to him at the perfect time. He couldn't deny she was the one filling his dreams while he was gone. He'd never admitted it to Jack. What would Jack have thought, he found himself wondering? It didn't matter anymore. Jack was gone, and Gavin knew Gracie was going to hate him for the rest of his life. He could hear her words in his head over and over and over. He'd failed. He was going to be going home, but his best friend wasn't. Gavin didn't need to worry about Gracie never forgiving him. There was no way he'd ever forgive himself. It was his fault. It should have been him.
Each time he drifted off into the black, he was happy for the short reprieve from his own mind. Then he'd jerk awake to the loud boom and feeling of his body being thrown. His hands would be shaking, and he'd be covered in sweat. It was a cycle that didn't seem to have an end.
He'd gotten Gracie's emails, but he hadn't answered them. There was no reason to. She had enough going on. Gavin honestly wasn't ready to face her disappointment and the anger he knew was coming his way. There were times he considered not returning home at all, but he knew his parents would never let that happen. She'd said in her emails that she was worried about him. In his mind all he could picture was her telling him she hated him. She'd told him she would never forgive him, and he knew she'd meant it. Nothing was going to change that.
He was trying to watch whatever crap he could find on the television when his phone buzzed. It was the day of Jack's funeral. His mom had already messaged him to let him know. They'd all be busy. He assumed it was probably someone he knew from the service or that he'd met while he was gone, so he picked it up and checked it.
Gracie: You scared the shit out of us. You okay?
He shook his head and felt a slight bit of pain shoot through it. What the hell was she messaging him during her brother's funeral for? He was sure it was a trap. She didn't want him to be okay. Gavin knew how she was. If he messaged back, she'd know she had his attention. Then she'd let it all out. She'd tell him how she felt about him, and he wasn't sure he could take it. The one person that still mattered was going to hate him forever, and he wasn't ready to have that verified. Gavin quickly put the phone back down and pushed the button for the nurse. He needed to feel numb again. He needed to go back to sleep so he wouldn't have to face his life.
Each time he woke up, he'd wonder how she was. She was the second person he thought about each time his eyes opened. Was her family with her? Were their friends with her? Was Ethan by her side? No matter how much he felt for her, he knew he'd never deserve her. She deserved someone that was going to be there for her, someone that wasn't going to let her down. As much as he didn't want it to be, he knew she deserved Ethan. He knew where his life was going. He was going to be a doctor and would be able to take good care of her. That was what she needed. She'd never want Gavin. If she had before, she definitely wouldn't anymore. He didn't even know where his life was headed. She worked her ass off, and she deserved someone who worked just as hard. Ethan was that guy. All Gavin wanted to do was run from it all, but he couldn't. He'd made a promise to her brother to make sure she was okay if anything happened to him. He'd already let Jack down in the biggest way possible. He wasn't going to do it again. He'd make sure Gracie was okay, but that was it.
Gavin woke up the same way again. He wanted so badly to wake up out of the horrible dream he was living, but it didn't happen. The same nurses came in and out of his room. He kept it dark. They'd try to turn the lights on or have a conversation with him, but he wouldn't bother. Just take the pain away, was all he'd tell them. They'd change his bandages, but he never bothered looking to see if he was healing. He didn't care. Jack was going to save the world. He deserved to live. Gavin knew it was all a mistake. It was supposed to be him. He hadn't even told his parents that. It was him that was supposed to be driving. He was the one that was supposed to die.
He had no idea how much time went by before they moved him out of the hospital and put him into a rehabilitation facility. The doctor was impressed with the way his arm was healing. He'd had surgery on it, but he didn't remember it. That was when he was knocked out. The decision had been made that he wouldn't be going back to war or the base. He was being discharged. Gavin didn't argue. He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he knew he didn't want to see any more suffering. There was only one place to go, and that was home. He knew he had a few more weeks to prepare himself for what was ahead, but that didn't make it any easier.
Chapter 20
Gavin
It was finally time for Gavin to go home. He couldn't put it off any longer. It had already been eight weeks since the accident. His cast was off, and they were sending him on his way. The gashes and burn marks were healed as much as they could be. That was going to take time. Gavin turned away from the mirror each time he dressed. He would have the scars to remind him, but he wasn't ready to see them yet. There were already so many reminders taking over his head.
When he stepped off the plane, he t
ook a deep breath. Gavin hadn't told his parents he was coming. He knew they were already worrying too much. He didn't want to give them time to get everyone together for dinner or anything. That wasn't something he was ready for. Gavin already knew he needed to plaster a smile on his face and pretend that his world wasn't a complete nightmare. If he acted like everything was fine, they would believe it. Then he would figure out what to do with himself and get a place of his own. There was no way he was staying with them for long. He needed his own space without someone being able to check on him every two seconds. Gavin knew damn well that was how it was going to be. He didn't need that. He didn't need anything from anyone.
He stepped out of the cab, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door. When he got there, he took a second to adjust his fake smile. Then he knocked.
All of his and Jack's things were sent home, so all he had with him was one bag. It felt so strange. Gavin and Jack had told their families they were leaving two years and one week before. He knew his parents had just gotten home from Hawaii the day before and was so relieved that he hadn't returned a week earlier. There was no way he could have gone.
The door swung open, and his mom quickly wrapped her arms around his neck. It hurt so damn bad, but he didn't pull away. Some of his scarred areas were still really tender, but he didn't want her to know that.
“I can't believe you're here,” she practically yelled. “Why didn't you tell us? We would have come to get you. We would have thrown a damn party. My baby is home. I can't believe this. I've missed you. I was so worried.”
“Where's dad?” he asked.
“He's at the office,” she answered. “I'm going to call him.”
“No,” he said. “Don't do that. I'll just see him when he gets here. I'm tired from the flight.”
“Go get some sleep,” she said, as she closed the door behind them. “Everything is in your room. We didn't open any of it.”
“Thank you,” he said.
“It's so great to have you back,” she said. “I'm calling...”
Saved by Love (Bachelor Billionaire Kids #1) Page 7