by Vicki Green
Throwing the covers off, I jump out of bed, only to stop and look down. I’m in one of Jax’s t-shirts! Walking into the bathroom and flipping on the light, I grab the doorframe when I remember being sick in the toilet, the cool cloth he put on my forehead. I shouldn’t be here. I remember asking him to drive me home. Anger consumes me. Why would he go against my wishes and bring me here? Then I remember trying to run away from him. Running into the bathroom at the hotel lobby and becoming ill. Jax coming into the bathroom and Molly blurting out that he knocked me up. Oh Lord!
I’m angry.
I’m angry at myself for not just talking with Jax in the first place.
I’m angry at Jax for not telling me that Addie is J. Stearns.
I’m angry that Addie didn’t tell me she is J. Stearns.
I’m angry and hurt that neither of them felt they could trust me enough with their secret.
I’m angry that Molly told Jax I’m pregnant.
I’m angry and want to cry that I didn’t even get a copy of Believe in Dreams and now I have to wait until it releases – whenever in the hell that is!
I’m angry that he brought me here instead of my house where I’d asked him to take me!
And I’m angry that I feel like shit again! Ugh!
Now that I’m all worked up, I relieve myself, brush my hair, teeth, and throw my scrunched up mess of hair into a ponytail. Pulling open drawers, opening cabinets. All the comforts a woman would need. A light bulb goes off inside my brain. Is that why he has all this stuff here? Does he bring Addie here to be alone? I cover my stomach with my hand. Now, I feel like I could get sick again. I walk to his dresser, grab a pair of his sweatpants, which I have to double tie and roll up the ends, and then I walk out of the room in search of my purse. And shoes. I need to get the hell outta here!
Walking down the hall, I turn the corner to find the living room empty. I’m relieved that Jax isn’t here. I’m so upset right now, I’m afraid to talk to him. Maybe I can call a cab. Where’s my purse? I look around, on tables, the couch, but it’s nowhere. Dammit! I look up from my bent over position when I hear something in the kitchen. When I get to the doorway, I see my purse sitting on the breakfast bar, my phone lying next to it with the charger plugged into the outlet.
“Morning.” I look up and see Jax walking in the back door, carrying firewood. Long sleeve flannel shirt tucked into jeans. He’s smiling, and that dimple is showing. Shit! I will not cave. I will not cave! You’re mad, Rylie. Don’t cave! “It’s gotten cold and even started snowing last night. Thought I’d better stock up on some wood.” He was out chopping wood? Thoughts of him looking all lumberjack-ey, his muscles flexing while he brings the ax down on a piece of wood, shirtless. I shake my head and blink rapidly. Get your shit together, Rylie! You’re angry! “Are you feeling any better?” Oh, I’m feeling alright – better, not so much.
“I…. I need to go.” My voice is hoarse from lack of use and crackly. Way to sound strong!
He gives me a strange look. Did he think just because he took care of me last night that everything between us is okay now? God, he was so sweet. Get a grip, Rylie. You’re mad! “Well, it’s been snowing all night and the roads out of here won’t be good.” He walks past me and I turn around following him into the living room. He lays the armful of wood into the holder on the hearth, rolls up the sleeves on his shirt, showing his forearms. God, what forearms! He picks up the poker thing and starts poking the fire. He’s bent over, his ass filling those jeans nicely, and the muscles in his arm rippling with his pokes. Shit! I’m so hormonal!
Turning, I run into the kitchen, unplug my phone, and grab my purse. “I have to go. Now,” I say as I walk back into the living room. He stands, putting the poker thing back on its perch, and turns to me, placing his strong hands on his hips.
“Why? Are you okay? Is something wrong?” He looks so concerned, so worried, that I almost want to walk into his arms. No, Rylie! You’re mad at him!
“Is something wrong?” I blink rapidly at him, placing my hands on my hips. Seriously? “Oh, I dunno. Let’s see.” I cock my hip and starting counting on my fingers. “You tell me you love me, and then I find out you’re seeing someone else. Worse yet, it’s Addie, someone who was becoming one of my closest friends. Then you keep the biggest secret from me. Addie’s J. Stearns, one of my most favorite authors! You couldn’t trust me with that? Thought I’d spill my guts? To who? And why would I do that if it’s a secret?” Now, I’m raising my hands up and down and start pacing. “You let me find out by being at the signing that you know I’m going to? Who does that? Especially if you “proclaim” that you love me? How is that love?” I stop, my breathing heavy, my stomach upset, and I can feel the heat in my face. “I just….” I’m tired. I give up. I’m confused. “I just don’t get it, Jax. I thought we were together. I thought we loved each other. When you love someone, you don’t go out with anyone else. You don’t keep things from each other.” I start to walk toward the front door and he takes a step.
“You’re not leaving, Rylie!” I stop, turning my head at him. “Not until you hear me out!” His face is full of determination. I drop my hands in defeat, sitting down in the oversized chair with a thump.
He’s in front of me before I can take a breath, his large strong hands holding onto the chair’s armrests, his eyes staring into mine. “There’s so much I need to tell you. But you can’t just walk out without hearing it. All of it.” I’m not sure I can. I’m – scared. He reaches up, his hand close to my face, and I lean back. He looks sad as he places his hand back onto the armrest and lets out a breath. “First, and foremost, I love you with everything I am. Believe that.” He searches my eyes. “Even though I know I should have told you about Addie being J. Stearns, her agent told me not to. I told her I love you and trust you with my life but she forbade it. I shouldn’t have listened to her and told you anyway. That’s on me. That’s my fault. Addie wanted to tell you too. We both feel extremely bad that we didn’t.” Oh – kay, I can kind of see that, but I agree, he should have told me anyway. He and Addie both should have. He lets out another deep breath. “Contrary to what you might think, Addie and I are not seeing each other. Well, not as you might think.” Aha! So they are seeing each other! But now I’m even more confused. Not what I think? He smiles. “Remember how I told you growing up with the foster parents I had a sister?” I nod, very slowly. “Well, Addie’s not my sister by blood but she was raised there too. But we’d gotten so close growing up together, we feel more like siblings than if we were by blood.” Oh. Oh!
My brows lower. “But I heard you two talking and you both said that you should tell me but it might kill me to know?”
His hand moves, covering mine in my lap, and I let him. “We were both scared that we knew it would kill you to find out that Addie is J. Stearns and us not telling you beforehand. Addie was ready to march into the back room and tell you. I stopped her. I didn’t want her to lose her agent right when things have become so good for her.” Well, shit! My anger is starting to dissipate, slowly.
“I’m still hurt you all didn’t tell me,” I whisper.
His face morphs into regret. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
I can’t stop my face from turning up into a smile and let out a snort. “You came into the women’s bathroom after me.” He lets out a laugh, and it sounds so good. “Molly was ready to kill you.”
He smiles. “She’s a force to be reckoned with.” Oh, if he only knew. Quickly, his face softens, his hand squeezes mine. “You’re pregnant,” he whispers.
Shit! I forgot Molly told him. I’ll kill her later. I nod, tilting my head and studying him. “You’re gonna be a daddy.” I smile, tears brimming in my eyes. For the first time this week, I relax, everything’s out in the open. I feel – relieved.
Quickly, before I can blink away my tears, I’m in his arms. He lifts me and sits do
wn, placing me on his lap. His strong arms wrapped around me, my face buried into his neck. “You’re gonna be a mom, Coffee Girl.” Reaching up, I put my arms around him and snuggle deeper into him. “You’ll make the best mom in the world. I love you. So much.” I squeeze him tighter, taking in his smell of musk, mint, and how in the hell can he smell like Hot Tamales this early in the morning? He must have a stash hidden around here somewhere. God, I love his Hot Tamale! I pull back and look into his wet eyes, my own tears streaming down my face. I let out a sob. He reaches up and rubs my cheek. “What’s wrong, Coffee Girl? You should be happy.”
I start sniffling, my chin quivering, as I let out another sob. “After all this – I didn’t get a paperback of Believe in Dreams.” I wail. “There’s wasn’t any left by the time I got up to the table.” He laughs. Okay, I really do not think this is very funny. God, I’m so freakin’ hormonal.
I gasp when he stands, setting me down in the chair. He walks off into the kitchen. What the fuck? I just poured out all my hormonal emotions, and he just leaves me here to blubber by myself? He clearly does not understand what it means that I did not get the one thing at the signing that I most wanted. Needed! Men!
My head whips around when I hear him approaching me, even though I’m not sure how since I’m now a snotty mess and sobbing loudly and uncontrollably. He squats down in front me, much like he was before. Without a word, he moves his arm out from behind his back and holds out a small package to me. Is this like a peace offering?
He winks. “Go on. Open it.” Reluctantly, I reach out, only he pulls it back. What a tease! Now is not the time to be teasing a highly emotional pregnant avid reader! With his free hand, he reaches up, and I notice he’s holding a tissue. He wraps it around my nose, and I blow. Hard and loud. Now that’s love for ya. Not many guys would blow their girlfriend’s noses. Just sayin’. Once cleaned up, he hands me the present. It’s in plain white paper, glossy, with a small note taped to it.
I love you, Coffee Girl
Yours forever,
HT
I gasp and look up into his eyes. He knows about HT? Oh, my God! He seems unaffected by it and pushes the present at me, wanting me to open it. I pick it up and shake it. Well, it’s too big to be a book, and it doesn’t rattle. “Just open it, Coffee Girl.” He laughs. I hate surprises. I do love when he calls me his nickname for me. I start ripping the paper off. Yes – I’m one of those. Nothing makes me crazier than someone neatly taking off the paper, taking forever to get it off, and then folding it. Like they’re gonna use it later. Snort.
Of course, I’m not surprised to find a box. Pulling off the lid, I start pushing the gobs of tissue paper off, finding bookmarks of the Dreams series, bottle cap magnets with all the covers, and various other swag items, all with their covers. Oh, my God! I’m in heaven! I look up at him, more tears filling my eyes. Damn hormones! “Go on! There’s more,” he says in excitement. More? I start pulling off more tissue paper and see the paperback Dare to Dream. Quickly, I flip open the cover to see that J. Stearns, or I guess Addie, signed it. Personally. To me. I let out a sigh. “Keep going,” Jax says, and I pull out the book, uncovering the second in the series Chasing Dreams, also signed specially to me. He takes them from me. “Go on.” I look up at him and smile, finding more tissue paper when I look down. I gasp when I pull it away to find Believe in Dreams. I pick it up with shaky hands and hold it against my chest, closing my eyes, already knowing she’s signed it as well.
I open my eyes and smile, looking into his. “You’re forgiven.”
I’m not gonna say I’m not still a little hurt but I believe he didn’t mean to hurt me, now. And Addie. I open the cover to Believe in Dreams and I swear – my eyes are gonna be so swollen later with the amount of crying I’m doing.
Rylie,
My dear, sweet friend. With all my heart, you know I love you and would never do anything to hurt you. I want you to know, believe in dreams, for more than not, they really do come true. I give you this book, with my love and my whole heart. Please know, I couldn’t have written it without you.
All my love,
Addie ♥
Aka: J. Stearns
“You see....” I look up when Jax speaks. “We knew Addie’s life would change, tremendously, once it was discovered who she is. We fought her agent tooth and nail as long as we could. This signing came up and we felt like we couldn’t avoid it any longer. I wanted to protect her. Protect you.” His eyes look into mine with such tenderness.
“Why me?” I whisper.
Then he does something that if I’d been standing, it would have taken me to my knees. He cups his hands around my stomach, lowering over it, until he presses his lips against it over my t-shirt. My tears turn into a waterfall, and I start to shake with overwhelming emotion. He looks up at me from under his long dark lashes, and I can see the tears in his eyes. “You both are everything to me. Once this gets out about Addie, her life will change as well as ours. It’s a crazy industry. Readers will find out where she hangs out, where she lives. They’ll always be around, trying to dig into her private life and with that, they’ll look into ours as well. Then there will also be paparazzi, and they’re relentless. I’ll protect you all but there’s only so much I can do. We may have to hire bodyguards.”
Wow! I had no idea. No wonder they were trying to keep this a secret.
He smiles, leaning up and kissing me. “That’s one reason why I bought this cabin. It’s pretty exclusive but I’m sure I’ll need to build a tall fence around it with a key entry gate.” Oh! That would be good. He’s thought of everything. “And Addie is having a cabin built not far from us, close enough that we’ll extend the fence to encompass us all together for added protection.”
I let out a small laugh. “Oh, like a cult!”
He chuckles. God, I’ve missed that. “Kinda? And plans are in the works to purchase the condo on the other side of mine for her. I hope you don’t mind, but we might need to put a privacy fence encompassing our condos as well.”
I lean forward and kiss him. “As long as we’re together.”
I really don’t remember much after that. Seriously? You believe that? Of course I remember. He swept me off my feet – well, the chair and carried me into the bedroom and made passionate, tender, and so caring love to me. Breakfast and all my heartache forgotten.
Chapter 23
Things got crazy after that! And I mean – C.R.A.Z.Y!
It’s been a month since everything in my life went from suckage to amazing. He wasn’t kidding when he had told me when the news was out that Addie was the J. Stearns, people would come in droves. They started coming to my shop in swarms, in hopes of meeting her. Of course, she had to quit working there. I felt bad. She cried. Then I cried. Damn hormones! She really loved working there. Once I had started speaking to her again, I thanked her for my prized book, hugged her silly, and then asked her why in the hell did she want to work in my coffee shop when she’s a famous romance author.
“I love being with people. I was going crazy all alone, writing by myself.” She’d shrug. “I loved it there.” Didn’t she realize that she had all those amazing characters with her? All. The. Time? Silly woman.
But now – she’s started writing a new romance series and because we’re best friends, I’m privy to all things! Go me! Yet, some things she won’t tell me, saying that I would hate her if she gave everything away. Boo! Sigh, but I guess I can understand that and even love her for it.
True to his word, Addie ended up buying the condo on the other side of Jax, with his help. Were their people living there? Uh, yes. But money talks and made those people walk. Ha, I made a rhyme! There’s been a ton of construction around us in the last month. Jax had a tall privacy fence built around the perimeter, as he calls it – I think that’s Army talk, surrounding Addie’s condo, all the way around my and Jax
’s condos. Security systems have gone in to each of our places and even hidden cameras outside in the trees! I’m starting to think I’m living in Fort Knox. Well, it kinda is, I guess. Jax even had an inside walkway built between his and Addie’s condos so we don’t have to walk outside to visit as some of these paparazzi people go to quite the extreme to get pictures.
As for myself and Jax?
Renovations are underway, knocking out the wall between our condos, and even between the stairs, making one big staircase. They extended the kitchen on his side and changed the one on my side to be a bigger office/library. Our condos are turning into a massive house! We use his master bedroom and mine will become the baby’s room. What was my living room we’ll turn into a playroom, adding walls to close it in. Seriously? Is this my life?
One day, I came home from my shop and opened the door. There standing in the middle of our living room, painting a wall, was the guy whom I ran into, well, more like threw cinnamon buns at next door, when I thought I was visiting Maggie and Warren. What the hell? Come to find out, his name is Juan, and Jax had hired him to fix up and clean the condo prior to him moving in and now, he’s doing the same for ours. He ended up being really nice, and I think a little afraid of me. **shrugs** Not sure why.
And me?
Morning sickness! Ewww! Only – it’s more like morning, afternoon, and evening sickness. I swear this baby must be something out of The Exorcist the way they don’t like anything I eat or do. Jax has been great though. He’s become a pro, keeping a hair tie close by, as often as I’m paying homage to the porcelain God. He grabs my hair, puts it in a ponytail so he can have free hands to hold a cool wash cloth against my forehead and rub my back. He spoils me by bringing me breakfast in bed and makes me homemade chicken noodle soup. God! He’s a great cook! Come to think of it, I never seem to get sick after his soup. I think the baby likes it. Note to self: eat more chicken noodle soup!