by Ruby Cruz
Absently, she reached for Chloe, who’d been fussing for her mother. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
I shook my head as I crossed to the closet to fish the dress out. When I retrieved it from the hanger, I noticed the tags were still attached. “It’s basic black, not too fancy and it’ll go well with that cool necklace Aunt Jo gave you for your birthday.” I held it up in front of Jane so she could see for herself in the mirror. Chloe grabbed at the hanger and I snatched the dress away. “Nuh uh, you little thief, no grubby hands on mommy’s pretty dress.”
I hung the dress on the back of the closet door and scooped her from Jane’s arms. “Finish getting ready,” I ordered Jane when Chloe began to fuss again. “I’ll distract the munchkin.”
Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. I put down the book I’d been reading to Chloe and managed to haul myself and the baby to the door. When I opened it, I noticed Bingley steal a nervous glance at my niece before he allowed himself to grin. “Hey, Lizzy. Hi, Chloe.”
He gave her a little tickle and she shrunk back shyly and buried her face in my neck. “Come in, Jane’s just about ready.” I stepped aside and closed the door behind him. Awkwardly, Charlie held the bouquet of wildflowers in his hands. “How’d you know daisies were my favorite?” I teased.
He flushed as he glanced down at the flowers. “It’s just a little something, you know?” He then plucked a daisy from the bunch to hand to Chloe. Enchanted, she held the flower in her chubby little fist and felt the petals gingerly. She then flashed the biggest grin at Charlie who seemed equally enchanted.
Jane entered the room at that moment. I had the satisfaction of watching Charlie’s expression change from one of nervous excitement to admiration. She had the naturally petite build I’d always envied so I’d known the black dress would look fabulous on her. She had decided to wear her hair loose, instead of her usual no-nonsense ponytail, so that her blonde hair fell straight to her shoulders with just the slightest wave. She’d also applied some makeup, which, to time-crunched Jane, was a luxury in itself.
Growing up with Jane, I was used to people responding to her looks, and I might have resented her if she hadn’t been so darn sweet. At that moment, though, I did have a vague wish to have someone, just for once, look at me the way Charlie was looking at Jane.
“Mama,” Chloe declared, breaking the momentary silence. She pushed away from me, and toddled hastily to Jane who swooped her up and made her laugh. She presented the now-crushed daisy to her mother who exclaimed, “Why, thank you!”
Charlie awkwardly held the bouquet of flowers out to Jane, who smiled graciously. To make myself scarce and give them some privacy, I offered to put the bouquet in water. I heard some murmured thanks and Charlie quietly telling Jane how beautiful she looked. After a couple of minutes, I emerged from the kitchen and placed the arrangement on one of the end tables.
The two adults were gazing at each other smilingly as Chloe played with Jane’s necklace. I cleared my throat. “You guys better get going if you want to make your reservation.”
“She’s right,” Charlie agreed almost regretfully. As Jane passed Chloe to me she told her daughter sternly but sweetly, “You be a good girl for Aunt Lizzy.”
“I’ll make sure to keep the drinking and drugs to a minimum,” I teased.
Jane ignored me, a worried furrow developing between her eyes. “And I gave her Tylenol about an hour ago. If you need to, you can give her Motrin if she’s still feverish.”
“Got it.”
“She also hasn’t drunk too much milk today so try to get her to drink a bottle before bed.”
Since it seemed as if Jane would have stalled all night, I reiterated, “Go. We’ll be fine, Mommy.” Chloe fussed a bit as her mother and Charlie moved towards the front door, but I distracted her with a tickle to the belly. “It’s you and me tonight, kiddo. Time for your bath.”
Chloe was used to me giving her baths. Jane worked night shift and often would leave for work before Chloe had gotten her bath or gone to bed. My sister and I had worked out a system which allowed us both to work full-time and keep Chloe out of daycare. It was an exhausting system at times and often I felt we were an old married couple rather than sisters, but it worked for us.
As I slathered lavender-scented lotion onto Chloe’s skin, I thought of the day I graduated from college with my nursing degree. Dad and his family had opted not to attend as they’d already had vacation plans for Florida. Jane had attended the graduation ceremony with Mom, whose current flavor of the month had the weekend shift. Jane had been happy for me and I’d felt so proud that I’d made something of myself just like she had. Mom, though, well…rather than be happy for me, she was more upset that I hadn’t found a husband in the four years I’d attended college. The few times I had brought a boy home for Sunday dinner, she’d made such a fuss that they were eventually scared away. And instead of throwing me a graduation party or even telling me how proud she was, she’d lamented I’d wasted my time studying instead of trying to find a decent husband.
“You’re twenty-two years old, Lizzy. You’re not getting any younger and God knows men like younger women these days,” she’d told me. “You’ve got an uphill battle ahead of you. There’s no doubt Jane has the lion’s share of the looks between you two…”
“Gee, thanks, Mom,” I’d interjected.
“And any decent man worth anything won’t find your sarcasm or humor the least bit amusing or attractive.”
“Mom, did it ever occur to you that I want to be able to support myself and not have to rely on some faceless man to support me?”
“Nonsense. No woman in her right mind would want to clean bedpans every day for a living if she had the option of living a life of luxury with a handsome man who catered to her every desire. Marrying well, that’s the key to a happy woman’s life. See, that’s the mistake I made with your father. I was young and naïve, and I thought that love would be enough for the two of us.” Fortunately for her, while Hal wasn’t rich by any stretch of the imagination, he at least made a decent enough living to support her love of antioxidants and designer clothing.
When Jane had started dating Bobby, the owner of a local car dealership, Mom had been ecstatic. “Finally, Jane, someone making a decent wage!” When she’d gotten pregnant, our mother had become even more excited because she was sure nuptials were pending. She hadn’t counted on the fact that Bobby had no intention of becoming a father…ever. He’d even accused Jane of sleeping around.
While I would have slapped the man with a paternity suit, Jane had quietly left him and never turned back. She’d been devastated, but determined to give her child the best possible upbringing - and that upbringing did not include my mother imparting her philosophies on a daily basis.
That was when I’d stepped in. Jane and I had found a townhouse close to the Meryton Medical Center and we’d been living together ever since. While Mom would have been more than happy helping out with the baby, Jane felt more comfortable having Grandma perform just occasional babysitting duties.
The ringing of the doorbell interrupted my thoughts. “Oh, for Pete’s sake,” I murmured as I hastily put Chloe in her sleeper and picked her back up. The doorbell rang a couple more times before I was able to yank it open. There she was, my mother, breezing in and wafting clouds of perfume in her wake. Chloe sniffed and began to fuss again.
“Well, look at you. You look positively maternal right now.” Chloe buried her face in my neck at Mom’s voice, which, I had to admit, was loud and grating. “Let me see my precious granddaughter. Lord knows you and Jane never bring her to visit me.” She held her arms out for the baby, who resisted but she scooped her up and hugged her anyway. Chloe settled after a moment in her grandmother’s arms.
“We just saw you at dinner last Sunday, Mom, and every Sunday before that.”
“Yes, well, I’d see her more often if I were taking care of her full-time, wouldn’t I? Honestly, I don’t know why you and
Jane are so stubborn about this. Two young, single women shouldn’t be concerning yourselves with raising a child. You’re almost still children yourselves.”
“Mom, I’m twenty-seven.”
“Yes, and when I was your age, I was married already and raising two daughters. You should enjoy the youth you have left. You’re never going to meet any decent men when you have those dark circles under your eyes.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Lizzy, you know I’m just looking out for your welfare. I hate seeing you and Jane working so hard. Speaking of Jane, where is my first-born?”
I considered lying to her, but she’d always been able to detect any untruths. “She’s actually on a date.”
Her eyes immediately brightened. “A date? With whom? Tell me all the details.”
“It’s Jane’s news to tell if she wants to tell you.”
“Honey, you can’t keep me hanging like this. At least tell me he’s gainfully employed and willing to take on a child.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes since I knew my mother’s question was serious. “Yes, he’s employed. It’s Charlie Bingley, that doctor you invited to dinner a couple weeks ago.”
“Oh, I knew it. I just knew he’d made a connection with Jane. He’s so handsome, isn’t he? Oh, can you imagine, my Jane with a handsome doctor?”
It was awhile before she finished her raptures about her potential son-in-law, the handsome doctor. “So, what brought on the visit? You usually don’t like to drive at night.”
“It’s still light out and I was on the way back from my book club when I decided to drop by. I’ve seen Jane and Chloe lately but I want to know what’s happening with you.”
I recognized that gleam in her eye. “Okay, what do you know?”
“Well, I was talking to Mrs. Richardson and she mentioned that her son Colin is coming for an extended visit.”
“Colin Richardson? From high school?”
“Yes, as I recall, you had a little relationship with him freshman year.”
“We dated for a month, if you define dating by holding hands while walking around the mall.”
“Honey, he’s visiting for two weeks, something about a research project at your hospital, I didn’t understand all the details. Anyway, I thought it would be nice to invite the Richardsons over for dinner when he’s here.”
“And you couldn’t have invited us over the phone?”
“Elizabeth Bennett, Colin Richardson is a perfectly nice, smart young man. As I recall, he had the most refined manners for a teenage boy. And he makes a decent living working as a physician’s assistant, so you have plenty in common.”
“There was a reason we dated for only a month in high school. He’s just not my type. He’s way too verbose and, to be honest, self-absorbed. Plus his palms were sweaty.”
“And you, Miss Elizabeth Bennett, are too quick to judge people. Colin is a perfectly fine young man, he makes a nice living, and he attended church every Sunday with his family.”
“So does Pastor Jerry but you don’t see me trying to marry him.”
“Lizzy, I’m just saying that maybe you should revisit the idea. It’s been, what, ten years since you’ve interacted with him. Maybe he’s matured into someone of your liking, like a fine wine.”
“Or a ripe cheese.”
The disappointment in my mother’s face was mirrored by her deep sigh. “Fine. I guess I still have Jane to hope for.” She handed Chloe back to me. “Well, it’s getting late. Please tell Jane to call me when she gets home, I’ll wait up for her. I want to hear every single detail.”
~
I was flipping channels when Jane returned alone. Her face was flushed and there was a bright gleam in her eye I hadn’t seen in a very long time. “Well?” I demanded. “I need details.”
She sighed and her face flushed even more. “I had a really good time. Dinner was so nice and the food was really good.”
I knew my sister well enough to detect the strain around her eyes. “I see a ‘but’ coming.”
“Lizzy, it’s just that he’s…he’s just seen so much. He’s traveled all over the world with his family and his volunteer work. It’s just fascinating to hear about all those places he’s been.”
“And what about you? Did you get a chance to talk about yourself?”
“What’s there to tell? I’m a single mom who made a couple of bad choices.”
“You’re a caring and successful nurse raising a beautiful daughter. Don’t sell yourself short.”
She sat next to me on the couch and toed off her heels. “It’s just that Charlie comes from a completely different world than we do. Did you know his dad is the CEO of Bingley Pharmaceuticals, you know, the company that makes that new anti-depressant?”
I knew I’d recognized the name Bingley from somewhere. “So what? Doesn’t mean you and he are a different species and can’t date.”
“He’s so easy to talk to but…our backgrounds are so different. We’ve lived here our whole lives. I mean, the farthest we’ve traveled was Washington, D.C. for a field trip in high school. Charlie’s just seen so much and his family…they’re all highly successful business people. You’ve met Caroline.”
“Jane, just stop right there. Just because he’s rich and comes from a privileged background doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to date him. He likes you, obviously, and is interested in you. He adores Chloe. He’s a doctor which means he’s chosen a different path than the rest of his family. He may come from a different background but my feeling is that his nature is a lot more like yours than you’re giving yourself credit for.”
“I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing by exposing Chloe to this. I mean, this is the first guy since Bobby whom I’ve really let into our lives.”
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. You’ve just been on one date. Just take things nice and easy. Don’t overthink this.”
“Lizzy, I can’t afford not to overthink this. Having Chloe changes everything. It’s not just me I have to consider here, and I can’t afford to not think of how things will affect her if they get serious.”
“If you keep thinking that way, then you might as well just resign yourself to being a single mom for the rest of your life. I know you’re worried about picking the wrong guy again. Truly, I get it. But you can’t expect the next guy you pick is going to be ‘the one.’ You may go through half a dozen more guys before you find him, if you ever do, and you can’t delude yourself into thinking you can shield Chloe from all that.”
“Why can’t I? Remember how it was with Mom? All those guys she would bring home? Remember Creepy Ted?”
I shivered at the memory. “But that’s where you’re better than Mom. Loser Bob aside, you’re a lot more careful about your feelings now and choosy to the point of possible spinsterhood at this rate. Sooner or later, though, if you don’t want to end up alone, you’re going to have to let someone in. And if that guy does turn out to be like Creepy Ted or Loser Bob, believe me, I’ll let you know, and I’m sure Chloe will let you know in her own way.” Jane became silent but she still didn’t look convinced. “Let me ask you this: Does Charlie want to see you again?”
She blushed. “He does.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yes, but…”
“Then, that’s all you need to know. Life is hard enough without you trying to find ways to make it more complicated.”
CHAPTER SIX
The Coffee Guy
For once, Jane listened to my advice and agreed to see Charlie again. After three weeks, they’d somehow found time in their schedules to see each other half a dozen times. Tonight, they had plans to go see a movie. I told Jane I wouldn’t wait up for her, and that I’d watch Chloe as long as she needed me to, which, if all went well, would be all night.
I put down the book I was reading and sighed contentedly. I had that feeling I always got whenever finishing a good no
vel: satisfied yet wanting a little more, a bit like having good sex but without all the complications that come with it.
I couldn’t help but feel just a bit jealous that Jane was with Charlie, probably having good sex, maybe even great sex. After all, it’d been six months since I had any type of sexual intercourse and even then I wouldn’t have called a one night stand with Tony from security a mind-blowing experience. In fact, it ranked somewhere between lukewarm and embarrassing - something neither one of us wanted to repeat.
I wasn’t promiscuous by any sense of the term. In fact, Lydia ventured to even call me a prude at one point because I wasn’t interested in sleeping with any random guy. I guess I was a bit old-fashioned. My mom, if nothing else, had instilled in me the importance of romance. Attraction and lust were fleeting, my mom always said, but love, however foolish, lasted forever. “Always strive for forever,” she told me. And of all the silly notions she’d tried to impart on Jane and me, that one had stuck.
I had a healthy sex drive like any other twenty-something, but I always tried to hold out for the romance, choosing to be wooed a little bit before I got intimate. My efforts netted me a whole of three boyfriends since high school, not including my tryst with Tony. While those relationships had been pleasant in their own individual ways, and I’d enjoyed the attentions both sexual and romantic, the relationships had ended amicably. They were of the slow burn variety, without any spark or tension. Luke always teased me about them, saying I inevitably went for the safe guys, the guys who were sedate, boring and predictable. He wished for me an epic romance, something forged from the heat of passion and longing; I told him he needed to find his own boyfriend.
Luke was right, to a point. My relationships definitely followed a pattern. Maybe it was because I’d grown up watching my mom “fall in love” with guy after guy. She would talk about her current flame as if he were the one she was destined to be with. The flame always burned bright and hot for her, but would sputter and then die within a month or two. All that passion and romance held up for only so long if there was no foundation, no connection other than mere physical attraction. Hal, so dependable, was the one exception I could see. He’d lasted longer than any of my mother’s other relationships thus far and I sincerely hoped he would stick around; he did a decent job of tempering my mom’s impracticalities.