by Ruby Cruz
My head swam as I struggled to interpret what he was saying to me. He was in love with me? How the hell could he be in love with me when all he ever did was criticize me and my friends and family? After I remained silent, he took a step towards me. “Say something, please.”
“What am I supposed to say? That I’m sorry for causing you such a moral dilemma? Or maybe I’m supposed to apologize for my inferior social standing or my embarrassing family situation.”
“That’s not what I meant-”
“Then what did you mean? You yourself said you were going against your own better judgment. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you should’ve listened to yourself and not even bothered.”
“You kissed me back.”
“Yes, and that would be the first time that anyone has ever kissed another person while under the influence of alcohol.”
Darcy’s face hardened slightly. “I never would’ve taken you for a liar.”
“Wow, for someone who’s supposed to be in love with me, you really sure know how to flatter a girl.”
The stony visage intensified. “Can I ask why, with so little effort of civility, you’re rejecting me?”
“Haven’t I given you enough reasons?”
“I won’t apologize for my influencing Charles to end his relationship with your sister. I still believe that his involvement with her was distracting and he is better served by focusing on his career at this point in his life and not with raising a child that is not his, or catering to a family that seems bent on exposing itself to ridicule.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your mother is obsessed with marrying off you and your sister, your stepsister seems hell-bent on bedding every available man in sight, and your friends are probably the worst nurses I’ve ever had the displeasure to work with.” My mouth dropped open at the indignity of his statement. “I’m sorry. I never thought of you in that light.”
“And you’re surprised I’m rejecting you? God, George was right about you.”
Something changed in his demeanor. If I thought he looked dangerous before, it was nothing to the expression that now filled his face. “George Wickham?”
“I know what you did to George, how he’s been struggling.”
“Yes, he’s been struggling a great deal.”
“How could you do something like that to someone who’s been like a brother to you and then have the audacity to interfere in my relationship with him?” At his surprised glance, I confirmed, “Oh, yes, Ed told me that little nugget as well. Who gave you the authority to meddle in people’s lives?”
“Why don’t you tell me since you appear to be such an expert about my life?” He stepped closer to me. “Understand this. You know nothing about me. If I’d suspected you’d held such disdain for me, I would’ve saved us the trouble of this scenario. I guess it’s my fault for being so open to you about my reservations in dating you. Maybe if your pride hadn’t been hurt you wouldn’t have been so candid.”
“My pride? Do you really think this is because you think you hurt my pride? Well, sorry to point out, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Your arrogance and conceit, your disdain for those you see beneath you, have repelled me from the moment we’ve met. I couldn’t fall in love with you if you were the last man I ever see.”
In the heat of the moment, I’d stepped even closer towards him in challenge, my face merely inches from his, so close I could feel his breath mingle with mine. A beat passed, then two. His eyes glittered, their depths unreadable. For a brief moment, I feared he would kiss me again. Instead he spoke, his voice barely audible.
“Well, forgive me for taking up so much of your time. Enjoy the rest of your stay in New York.”
And before I knew it, Darcy strode past me and was gone.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The Last Man on Earth
Unable to face Darcy or Ed after what had happened, I texted Luke to let him know I was tired and was heading back to the apartment. As I walked I tried to figure out what I’d tell him if he called but came up blank. My brain was too full to make any coherent explanation for what had happened. In fact, I barely could comprehend myself what had happened.
I was lounging on the couch and watching mind-numbing television when I heard the knock. The faint possibility lingered in my mind that Luke or Colin had forgotten their keys but I knew better. My suspicions were realized when I heard Darcy’s voice. “Lizzy, please open the door.”
I took my time in extracting myself from the couch before padding to the door and calling out, “What do you want?”
“Lizzy, please. Open the door.”
I complied, but did not invite him in. Darcy looked as he had barely an hour before, save for the fact that he appeared more haggard and his eyes were weary. The red slash on his cheek had faded but was still visible. I could also smell the unmistakable scent of whiskey on him. “I thought I made myself clear that I don’t want to see you.”
“This is only going to take a minute. Please.”
I was tempted to refuse but the ragged look in his eyes had me stepping aside to allow him to enter the apartment. I resolutely remained by the door. “You have a minute.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for how…how I handled things earlier. I hadn’t been intending to….” He broke off, closed his eyes and took a breath. “There are just a few things I want to explain and then I’ll leave you alone.” I stared at him expectantly and he blew out his breath. “First off, I’m sorry about your sister. I truly didn’t realize the extent of her feelings for Charles otherwise I wouldn’t have presumed to interfere. That is my fault, but I did it in the best interests of my friend.”
I pursed my lips angrily. I feared I was going to slap him again so I clenched my hands into fists. “Okay. And? You’ve got about forty more seconds.”
Disconcerted, he said, “George Wickham. You’re right. I did persuade him to leave town, but believe me, I did it with the intention of protecting you.”
“Protecting me? I’m twenty-seven years old. I don’t need protecting by you or anyone else.”
“There are things about George…there’s no easy way to put this…a little over a year ago he took advantage of my sister.” At my shocked look, he continued breathlessly. “I’m not sure how much he told you about our history but here it is. My parents took him and his mother in after his father died in the Middle East. His mother eventually succumbed to alcoholism and my father ensured that George would want for nothing and even went so far as to provide a college trust. After my parents died, I was put in charge of the trust. When George was in college, somehow he became involved in gambling and his problem became bad enough that he was put on academic probation. When he continued to fail his classes, he dropped out and I threatened to dissolve his trust unless he sought help for his gambling addiction. He agreed to rehab and recovered enough to start classes for his nursing degree. I thought he was fully recovered.” Darcy paused. I was so wrapped up in his story that I didn’t even consider that he had overstayed his allotted minute. “After he graduated, we didn’t hear from him for more than two years. And then last year, he approached Ana for some help in finding a job.”
“Why would he ask your sister for a job?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what happened in those two years he’d been out of contact but I suspect he probably lost whatever job he had because of his gambling. He probably knew that Ana was starting the center, maybe he was afraid of applying to other jobs with his gambling record, I don’t know. Anyway, he and Ana became romantically involved. Her grades began to suffer, she began to ignore her responsibilities and I noticed that she was requesting much more money than her usual allowance. When I asked her about her spending habits, she became defensive until I finally found out she’d been seeing George without my knowing. He was even staying at her apartment off-campus, if you can imagine. I found out when I saw the charge on her credit card account for a depo
sit on a hotel room in Vegas the week of her spring break.” He paused, the memory causing his eyes to blacken and his fists to clench. “Ed and I flew out to Vegas and when we found them, George was unapologetic. I feared they’d done something stupid like get married but he was just in it for the money and the sex, at least for the time being. Ana was furious that I was interfering and threatened to walk out of my life, but I said that if she left, she’d be cut off. When George realized that staying with Ana would have no monetary benefit for him, he left her.”
Darcy’s eyes searched mine. When I had no response, he continued, “She was devastated, as a college girl can get when a man she thinks loves her is revealed to only love her money.” So that’s the “tough time” Ed had alluded to when he’d mentioned Darcy’s sister. “I’d thought that we’d rid him from our lives until a few months ago. He must have somehow…surmised my feelings for you and pursued you. He knows me well enough to know that I would never have allowed him to maintain a relationship with you, regardless of what your feelings for me might have been.”
“So you paid him to leave.”
“Not my finest moment, but, yes. Lizzy, look. You deserve better than George Wickham. You don’t deserve to be with someone like him, especially since I suspect he was with you in some twisted attempt at revenge towards me. I apologize, truly, for inadvertently involving him in your life and…I apologize for everything.” His visage softened momentarily before becoming the familiar impassive mask. “I know that this is probably too much to ask, but I hope this won’t impact our professional relationship too much. You’re a good nurse and it would be a disservice to my patients to lose you.”
His words swirled in my head, confusing me so that I couldn’t venture any coherent response. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to respond to his revelations? When I continued to say nothing, he inclined his head. “I should go. Thank you for your time.” And he was gone.
~
When Luke finally came home, he found me curled on the couch, a wine glass and half-empty bottle of cabernet sauvignon on the coffee table. “Lizzy, are you okay? After I got your text, you never answered your phone. Ed said that Darcy disappeared, too. What’s going on?”
Instead of answering, I asked, “Where’s Colin?”
“Still at the club, if you believe that. He met some guy who works at New York Presbyterian. They were still trading work stories when I left.” He searched my face and I obstinately avoided his gaze. “Lizzy, what happened? Did something happen with Darcy?”
I let out a strangled laugh and downed the remainder of wine in my glass before pouring myself more. “Darcy. Yes, you could say that something happened with Darcy.”
Luke remained admirably silent as I explained about my conversation with Ed, about the revelation that Darcy had encouraged Charlie to break my sister’s heart, that Darcy had paid off Wickham to leave, that Darcy had, in fact, been harboring feelings for me before finally acting on them in the club. When I finally finished telling my story, Luke retrieved a wine glass from the kitchen and poured the remainder of the wine bottle into his glass.
“As much as I’d like to say, ‘I told you so,’ that would be cruel and ineffectual at this time. What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? It’s not like I can quit my job just so I can avoid him. Do you think it’s all true? I mean, I can see him being condescending to Charlie, telling him how to run his life and stuff but what about the stuff he said about George and his sister?”
“Honey, you know what I say about perfect guys.”
“That they exist only in fiction and fantasies.”
“Correct. George Wickham was too good to be true. I knew there was something off about him.”
“But George as a gambler and a womanizer? It sounds like a Lifetime movie.”
“Yes, but my bet is that there is some truth there.”
“God, no wonder he’s gone to sow his wild oats elsewhere. He probably had to move away just to avoid the loan sharks.”
“It sounds like you’re starting to believe Dr. Darcy’s story.”
“Funny enough, a lot of things are starting to make sense now, about George, I mean.” I sighed and leaned my head on Luke’s shoulder. “And to think I’d beat myself up over what I could’ve possibly done to drive him away when he was the one who was damaged.”
“Yes, and all along a rich and handsome man was waiting in the wings, ready to sweep you off your feet.”
“You said you wouldn’t say, ‘I told you so.’ In fact, you’re not allowed. It’s absolutely forbidden according to the annals of friendship.” I sighed again. “When did I become such a poor judge of character?”
“Lizzy, you’re passionate in your beliefs and, sometimes you let those beliefs cloud your judgment. But your conviction in what you believe in is one of things I like best about you. Makes it so much more fun when I kick your ass in an argument.”
“Now who’s making up fantasies?” I lifted my head. “Seriously, Luke, how am I going to face Darcy at work? How am I supposed to remain civil to him when all I can think about is all the ways he interfered in people’s lives?”
“I know you’re going to hate me for saying this, but, he had a point about Charlie and Jane. They’d only been seeing each other a couple of months before he left, and you and I both know Jane isn’t exactly the most forthcoming with her feelings. I’m not excusing his meddling in their relationship, I’m just saying that he had a point.” At my stony silence, he continued, “And what about the fact that he kissed you?”
Despite myself, I blushed. “What about it?”
“Lizzy, I know you, and if you hated it, you would’ve said so already.” When I didn’t respond, he leaned more closely to me and concluded, “You liked it, didn’t you?”
“Of course not.” At his raised eyebrow, I conceded, “Fine, he’s a good kisser.” I blushed more deeply as his glare intensified. “All right, he’s a great kisser.”
Luke pumped a triumphant fist into the air. “Ha! I knew it. Someone that hot had to be a great kisser. Was it one of those knock-em, sock-em, melt-your-toes type of kisses? It had to be for you to be blushing like this.”
Instead of answering his question, I rolled my eyes at him. “Really? My professional and personal lives are in chaos and all you care about is whether Darcy is a good kisser?”
“I care because this is about more than Darcy being a good kisser. I think you have feelings for him.”
“What? You’re crazy. You know I can’t stand him.”
“So begins many a great love story. Gone with the Wind, An Affair to Remember, When Harry Met Sally….”
“Whatever. I’ve been celibate for nearly a year. Just because I liked kissing Darcy doesn’t mean I have feelings for him. It just means I’m desperate enough to not care anymore whose lips are touching mine.”
“That’s not what you said when Colin kissed you. Or George.”
Caught, I waved him away. “Shut it. I’m drunk and I’m tired. I’m going to bed with the hopes that I’ll wake up and all this will have been a very bad, very vivid nightmare.”
~
The train ride home the following day was interminable. I couldn’t concentrate on the book I was reading, couldn’t focus on anything other than my conversation with Darcy. I replayed it over and over in my head, tortured myself with the memories of how rude I’d been to him about George, how rude I’d been to him in general.
Granted, Darcy hadn’t done much prior to his declaration to garner much more than rudeness from me, but I still couldn’t help but feel guilty that he’d harbored all these feelings for me without me knowing. I know, the girls and Luke always hinted that Darcy had a thing for me, if for no other reason than he treated me a little better than he treated all the other nurses on our unit.
When I finally arrived home, Jane was interested in catching up and hearing all about Luke and his new life in the city. As I updated
her, I edited out the details about Darcy and his declaration to me. I still couldn’t forgive him for the part he had in breaking up Charlie and Jane, and I did not want to add to Jane’s distress regarding the situation. The less she was reminded of her heartache, the better.
It was killing me that I couldn’t talk to her about what had happened in New York. It was one thing to know that Darcy had been instrumental in breaking her up with Charlie, but it was quite another to tell her about Darcy’s declaration. I was still reeling from the information and was dreading going back to work and having to face him knowing about his feelings, knowing that I’d rejected him, and knowing that I’d been somewhat unfair in my dealings and assumptions of him. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I regretted rejecting him, I just felt sort of guilty for blaming him for cutting off George from his trust fund when George was the one who’d acted out of turn. Besides, it really hadn’t been my place to judge Darcy in that situation in the first place. None of my business and all that.
When I returned home, I told no one about my encounter with Darcy in New York City and I was determined that nobody ever would find out about it.
PART THREE
HOME