It was a sensation even Mikayla didn’t understand. It wasn’t as if Dusty was the first man she’d thought herself in love with. In the old days, she’d fallen in and out of love all the time. But this was nothing like those mild crushes. This was an ever intense feeling of satisfaction. This was an almost euphoric happiness. This was real.
She closed the door and picked the mail up from the foyer floor, where it had fallen through the mail slot, and tossed it on the cherrywood console table. She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes, trying to remember the feel of Dusty’s lips against her own.
He was only gone from her for five minutes and she was already missing him. She sighed to herself and moved away from the door. She had too much to do to continue acting like a love-struck schoolgirl, she silently scolded.
She started toward her office and then remembered to take the mail from the table into her office. She flopped down in her chair and began opening envelopes. She tossed the bills aside, took a quick minute to glance through the three magazines she’d received before tossing them in the trash and picked up the final piece of mail, which was handwritten with no return address.
With a small frown, Mikayla opened the envelope to find two pages inside. She unfolded the letters and one of them fell out onto the floor. She glanced down at the paper and froze in her tracks.
Mikayla felt a cold chill run through her entire body, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.
It felt like a nightmare, although she knew she was still awake. She bent and picked up the paper, recognizing it as one of the show bills that was handed out to the patrons of the Godiva club.
Every week, the management put out advertisements featuring different girls, and this particular bill showed her as the featured dancer. The club had a strict rule about no cameras allowed inside, but this picture she’d posed for. And over the years had blocked it out of her mind.
Now, holding it in her hand, looking at it brought back all those memories. It was like she was standing on the stage of the Godiva club all over again. No, not all over again. It was more like she’d never left.
Taking a deep swallow, she remembered she was still holding the unread letter in her hand. She put the picture down and concentrated on the letter, hoping, praying it would offer some harmless explanation for the photo.
As she read the letter, she understood there was nothing harmless about it:
Hey, Tangie, it’s been a long time. When you disappeared from the Godiva club it broke my heart, girl, thought I’d never get to see that pretty body of yours again. So imagine my surprise when I saw you at the Warren Ranch the other day. With Dusty Warren, no less! I wonder, does ol’ Dusty know about your former occupation? Bet he doesn’t. Bet you’d prefer he never found out. Because I like you, I am willing to make sure Dusty never finds out his author girlfriend is really a slut who will give it up to anyone.
Of course, it’s your decision. You can either do what I say and Dusty is none the wiser, or ignore this letter and by the end of the week, not only Dusty but the entire city of Miami will know all about the secret past of the illustrious Mikayla Shroeder.
Think about it, and while you’re doing that, get $25,000 together within the next seventy-two hours. I’ll be in touch with more information.
Signed, An old friend
Mikayla reread the letter at least three times, feeling more and more shell-shocked with each reading. Her mind searched and searched the crowd she’d met at the ranch the other day, trying to find a familiar face. There were none. Of course, considering the number of men who came into the club on a regular basis, and that did not even include the occasional patron, there was no way she would ever remember every face.
But whoever he was, he recognized her. With all the changes to her life and appearance both inside and out, he still recognized her. As if the taint of her past bore some kind of invisible imprint only the lowlife’s of the world could see.
Whoever he was, he was obviously with the circus. They were the only new people at the ranch. If it had been someone who worked for Dusty, that person would’ve come forward long ago, right?
She felt a migraine coming on. Going into her bedroom, she reached inside the drawer for some aspirin. By then her head was pounding, so she stretched out on the bed, feeling stress and exhaustion coursing through every inch of her body. Before long she’d fallen asleep.
The next morning, the sun shining on her face woke her and she realized she hadn’t even closed the blinds the night before. She sat up on the bed, still fully dressed, and glanced at the clock on her nightstand, seeing that it was almost noon. Her whole body ached as if she’d tossed and turned all night, and she struggled to get her bearings. Suddenly, the memory of the letter and the show bill came rushing back to her.
Mikayla was no closer to an answer of what to do now than she had been when she’d fallen asleep. She stood and started across toward the bathroom when she spotted the tickets to the charity fundraiser she was supposed to go to with Dusty that night.
How was she supposed to face Dusty? It was too soon. She needed some time to think, time to sort things out in her head to find out what this person wanted from her. In truth, she didn’t think that was any great mystery. He wanted money, of course. Wasn’t that what all blackmailers wanted?
She reached for the phone on her desk to call Dusty’s cell phone to cancel for the evening, but her hand paused over the receiver. He would want some explanation, but what could she tell him?
He’d dropped her off last night and everything had been fine. No, everything had been great.
How quickly life could change.
She had no idea what to say to him. The blackmailer was right in that regard. She would do pretty much anything to keep Dusty from finding out about her past.
Instead, she picked up the phone and called the one person who did know about her past and would never use it against her.
After a few rings, Kandi answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me. Are you busy?”
“Just doing some shopping. Why?”
“I need to talk to you. Can you stop by here on your way home?”
“No problem. What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you when you get here. It’s not something I want to discuss over the phone.”
“Okay,” Kandi said. Even through the phone line Mikayla could feel her curiosity. “I’ll be right there.”
Thirty minutes later, Mikayla watched Kandi pull into her drive. She pulled back the curtains and looked in both directions up and down the street, wondering if the blackmailer was out there.
She let the curtains fall and went to the front door to meet Kandi.
As soon as she opened the door, Kandi’s worried eyes met hers. “What is it?”
As Kandi came in, Mikayla closed the door behind her and handed her the letter and the photo. Kandi’s reaction came a lot faster than her own.
“Oh, my God!” Kandi looked between the letter and the show bill again and again. “Oh, my God! When did you get this?”
“When I got home a while ago, it was lying on the foyer floor with the rest of my mail. No return address, so whoever it is had to deliver it in person, which means he knows where I live.”
Kandi’s eyes widened even more. “I hadn’t even thought about that! What if this guy is some kind of crazy stalker? You know you can’t pay him, don’t you?”
“Why not?” Mikayla asked, knowing full well she still had every intention of paying the blackmailer.
“If you do, he’ll just keep coming back again and again. Don’t you watch Law and Order?”
“But if I don’t, he’ll ruin everything I have worked so hard for.”
The look that crossed Kandi’s face caught Mikayla by surprise. “What’s that look about?”
Kandi shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Yes, something. What?”
Kandi sighed. “When we published your book, remember what I told you?�
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Mikayla did remember and it did nothing to ease the aching feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Yes.”
“You should’ve told everyone the first book was based on your life, then it would’ve all been out in the open and there would be nothing to blackmail you with. The way you did it set you up as some perfect target. People won’t be as understanding now as they would’ve been then.”
“Told you so? That’s what you have to offer in the way of help. I called you over here because I’m terrified my world as I know it is about to end, and all you have to offer is ‘I told you so’?”
Kandi moved close and wrapped her friend in a hug. “I’m sorry, you’re right, you’re right. This is not the time or the place for this. Okay, what do you want to do?”
Mikayla turned and walked back into the living room and sat down on one of the sofas. “I want to pretend like this never happened. I want to go back to feeling the way I did last night. But it’s quite obvious I’m not going to get what I want.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to pay whatever they ask.”
“Didn’t you just hear me? If you pay, they just keep coming back.”
“I don’t care! I can’t let that stuff get out. Think about it. I’m a motivational speaker—in the Christian inspirational genre at that—who spends her days telling women they are more than just sex objects and then they all find out that is exactly what I used to be.”
“Used to be.” Kandi held up a finger. “Used to be. But you don’t know that if you pay they will still keep their mouths shut.”
“Like you said, they will come back wanting more later. To get more they will have to keep their secret a secret or else it’ll lose its potency.”
Kandi tilted her head and looked at her friend with a strange expression. “Do you hear yourself? You can’t keep hiding from your own past, Mikayla. It’s time to come forward with the truth before someone else does.”
“But you just said the public would not be very sympathetic—”
“I said they would not be as sympathetic as they would’ve been back when you were first starting out, but it would still be better if you tell them and not some blackmailer trying to destroy you.”
Mikayla stared down at the floor, trying to organize her thoughts. Kandi was right, of course, but Mikayla didn’t know if she could survive the public scorn that would come with the announcement. And more importantly, the look in Dusty’s eyes as he pushed her away from him. She knew beyond any doubt she was not strong enough to endure that pain. Dusty’s rejection could be far worse than anything that had come before it.
“I’ll think about it.”
“You don’t have long to think about it. He said tomorrow night.”
“I know. I know.”
Kandi crossed the room and sat down beside her on the sofa. “And…you know you’re going to have to tell Dusty before then.”
Mikayla shook her head. “No! I can’t.”
“Do you want him to learn about it on the six-o’clock news?”
“Why does it matter how he finds out—the outcome will be the same!”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t honestly think he will stay with me when he finds out, do you?”
“Actually, yeah, I do.”
Mikayla made a disgusted grunting sound. “Then you’re more delusional than I am.”
Kandi simply stared at her friend for several long seconds before saying, “That remains to be seen. In the meantime, do you have any idea who it could be? He says he saw you at the ranch. Did you recognize anyone?”
“Don’t you think I would’ve told you if I did?”
Kandi decided to ignore the harsh tone and continued. “And this…” She lifted the show bill. “How old is this thing? He must’ve been holding on to it for years.”
Mikayla glanced at the picture. “Eight, to be exact. I posed for it when I was twenty.”
“I feel so useless,” Kandi moaned. “What can I do to help?”
Mikayla reached over and took her friend’s hand. “You can do what you are doing right now. You can be my friend, you can listen and offer advice and…” She forced a smile. “You can help keep me from going insane.”
Kandi smiled back. “I’ll do my best.”
In an effort to get her mind off things, Kandi talked Mikayla into ordering a pizza, and the two women ate and watched various clips of different shows. Five minutes of this and that, staying on a channel long enough to comment on the program before switching to something else.
It was almost six before Mikayla remembered her date with Dusty.
She sat up on the couch, from where she’d been resting her head against the armrest. “Oh, no! I’m supposed to go to a fundraiser with Dusty tonight.” She glanced over to where Kandi was sprawled comfortably in the reclining overstuffed chair. “Will you call him for me and cancel?”
“Me? Why can’t you do it?”
“I couldn’t bare to hear his voice right now.” She leaned forward and tried to look as sincere as possible. “Please, Kandi, just this once.”
Kandi frowned at her, but still shook her head. “Just this once, but you can’t keep hiding from him, Mikayla. You just can’t. It’s not fair to him or you.” She pulled out her cell phone, talking all the while. “If you continue like this, the blackmailer wins and he’s only just come on the scene.”
Mikayla gave her Dusty’s cell phone number and watched as Kandi dialed the number. “Hi, Dusty?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“This is Kandi, Mikayla’s friend.”
“Oh, hey, Kandi. How are you?”
“Fine, just fine. Um, Mikayla wanted me to call and let you know she will not be able to go to the fundraiser with you this evening.”
“What’s wrong?”
Kandi’s eyes widened and she mouthed the question to Mikayla. Mikayla thought quickly and grabbed her stomach in mock pain.
“She’s cramping,” Kandi said into the phone.
Mikayla’s eyes widened in humiliation. Shortly thereafter, Kandi felt a couch pillow hit her in the head.
“Sorry to hear that. Why didn’t she call me herself?”
“Obviously you’ve never had cramps.”
“Glad to say I have not,” he answered drily.
“That’s why you don’t understand. When they are bad, they’re really bad.”
“Should she go to the hospital?”
“No, no. It’s not that bad, just bad enough to stay in bed. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s asleep.”
Mikayla, realizing the conversation was out of her control, could only shake her head.
“Think I should come over and stay with her?”
“No! Um, thanks anyway, but at this time, we women need other women. You understand, right?”
“Yeah, I understand. Okay, then, give her my love and let her know I’ll call her in the morning.”
“Will do.” Kandi hung up the phone and fell back in her comfy chair. “Do not ever, ever, ever make me do that again.”
“I won’t. Thanks so much, Kandi. And just so you know, I was saying stomachache, not cramps.”
“Same thing, right?”
Mikayla’s eyes narrowed on Kandi’s face, as she thought she heard a touch of sarcasm in the statement. But she was too relieved to be out of her commitment to Dusty to care. The pair went back to their channel surfing and it was well after midnight when Kandi climbed out of the reclining chair and headed home.
At the door, she turned to Mikayla. “Call me as soon as you hear anything, got it?”
“I will.”
“And let me know if you want to go to the press and just make a statement about your past. I can set it all up for you, just let me know.”
Mikayla nodded. “Don’t worry, I will.”
After watching Kandi pull out of the drive and head toward the freeway, Mikayla locked and bolted the door for the night. Then she crossed the r
oom to the curtains, and hiding in the shadows looked up and down the street, searching for the blackmailer.
Whoever he was, he was keeping tabs on her. A part of her wanted to rush back out to the Warren ranch and take a look around to see if she could figure out who the blackmailer was. Not that she could do anything if she ever found him. But another part of her understood returning to the Warren ranch meant coming face-to-face with Dusty.
And Mikayla was honest with Kandi when she said that she did not think she could do that. Not yet. Not until she had time to sort all this out and decide what to do next. Not until she had her past tucked away once more. Not until then could she continue with what up until that afternoon had been the perfect love affair.
As she drove down the freeway heading home, Kandi’s mind was racing with possibilities. Things she knew she could do to help Mikayla, but her friend would never accept the help. For Mikayla, keeping up the persona she’d created for herself was more important than anything else. Even the love she had for Dusty.
And it was love. Kandi was certain. She’d known Mikayla for five years and had never seen the younger woman so enthralled by any man. Now she was about to throw it all away on some misplaced pride and some slimeball that had crawled out from under a rock and right into their lives.
She drove, battling her own conscience, but by the time she came to her exit her conscience had won. She found her cell phone in the bottom of her purse, and pushed the redial button.
“Hello?” Dusty answered again.
“Hi, Dusty. It’s Kandi, Mikayla’s friend again.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Okay. About what?”
“Are you busy right now?”
“Just doing some paperwork, why?”
“I’ll come to your ranch. Give me about forty-five minutes.”
“It’s one o’clock in the morning.”
“This is really important.”
“Kandi, what is this about? Is something wrong with Mikayla? It’s more than cramping, isn’t it?”
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