by Tijan
“I don’t want an apology.”
There. Take that.
“Good.” He put his beer down, coughing once. “’Cause you ain’t getting one.”
I gave him the side-eye now. “Excuse me?”
He grinned, then took another drag from his cigarette. “You heard me. This is what you reap. You don’t let your friends in, and this is what you get. They can’t know if you don’t tell them shit.”
I grunted. “Touché.” And a second grunt. “Hadley and Owen were fawning over him in the car coming over here.”
“As they will.” A sip of beer. “They don’t see it the way I see it.”
I groaned. “I hate when you bait me.”
He laughed softly. “Fine. I’ll take the bait myself. How do I see it? Well…” He was quiet a moment. “Are you using him? How invested are you?”
“You’re worried he’ll hurt me?”
“I have reason to be worried.”
Damian.
Dementia.
Early-onset dementia that was supposed to be so rare it never happened. But it did. It had happened to him.
I took Grant’s cigarette. “I don’t know what to tell you—”
He plucked it back out of my hands. I didn’t even get the chance to bring it to my mouth.
He scowled. “What the fuck? I know you, Charlie. I know you. You’re going to take a drag, then start coughing so much you’re almost puking, and you’ll run inside to the bathroom. Either way, you get out of this conversation, and I know that’s the real goal for you.” He pointed his cigarette at me before taking it to his mouth. “No smokes for you, and stop bullshitting me. Just tell me what I want to know, and we can be done with it.” His eyes flicked upward. “And you know I’m sorry for being a dumbass earlier. I get you not wanting to talk about you-know-who, but just reassure this old bastard who used to be your best friend that you are talking to someone about him?”
I was quiet.
He sighed. “Charlie.”
“I’ve mentioned the situation to Reese.”
“Forster?” he scoffed.
“Yes. Him.”
He was quiet again. “Shit. I’m trying not to be best-friend jealous here. Him? Really?”
I shrugged, my stomach settling back down. “To be honest, I didn’t say much. Just that I’m going through something stupidly tragic.”
Another beat. “It’s not stupid. It’s just tragic, plain and simple.”
Oh whoa. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t talk. I blinked back sudden tears. They’d come out of nowhere. I stuck out a blind hand for his cigarette.
He chuckled, swatting it back down. “Here. Drink this instead.” He pushed his beer into my hand, and I guzzled it.
He sat back, and the air felt lighter somehow. He finished his cigarette. “I saw Superstar’s interview. He flicked his ear.” His shoulder nudged mine.
I’d beamed when Reese did that, and I knew Grant had noticed, though no one else did. Reese made the gesture so subtle, it looked like he was flicking off some sweat or an itch. But I saw it.
“That was for you, wasn’t it? You used to do little signals all the time when we were young.”
I laughed, the beer helping with my throat. “That’s right. The good old…” I scratched my nose with my middle finger.
He laughed too. “Yeah, and this one.” He made a circle with his thumb and finger, moving another finger through the hole.
“That’s not that discreet.”
“It is when you did it behind Keith’s back.”
I groaned. “He’s such a dickhead.”
“He is a dickhead, yes.”
“How can you work there?” Scratch that. “How can you still work for him?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Patience. There’s a plan in the works.”
“Good. I support that wholeheartedly as long as it involves him getting fired in the end.”
“You know…”
Oh no. He was back to his serious voice. I shook my head, standing up. “No. No more real talk. I’ve handled what I can for the night.”
I was itching to shoot off twenty different questions to Reese—not because I was feeling uncomfortable, but because I wanted to see his responses. But I refrained, until after another beer.
Raising Grant’s beer, I finished it. “That is one thing about your fiancée, though. She’s not that perfect.”
He harrumphed. “Says you.”
I held the now-empty can out. “Her margaritas are too sugary. I need more beer.”
A laugh, then he stood with me. Taking the can, he nodded. “Then beer you will have. Come on.” He led the way. “We’re off for a refill. I need one myself.”
More than two hours later, after three more beers—don’t judge me—and one slice of pizza then I finally sent off another round of questions. I had thought long and hard about them—and by that, I mean I gave it no thought.
Me: Octopus or bear?
Me: Why do people have to have the last word? What’s the point?
Me: Why can’t people vacation in their own homes? That’s where all your stuff is.
Me: When global warming melts all the snow, will Antarctica have to change its name?
Me: Was I wrong for cheering in Aquaman when they tossed the trash back on the land?
Me: Stupidest advice you’ve ever gotten?
Me: What constitutes being nosy versus probing?
Me: Why do we call it a refrigerator and not a food-cooler?
Buzz.
Reese: Stop. Jesus, woman.
I giggled. Normally, I hated giggling, but in this instance, that’s what it was. I’d just gotten back to his cabin, and I was curled up on the couch, my phone in hand and what I could only imagine looked like an unhinged smile on my face.
I was buzzed, gloriously—a let’s-forget-reality kind of buzzed. It was the bestest.
The phone rang instead, and I hit accept. “When people work the midnight shift, are they nooners instead of a morning or night person?”
“Fuck’s sakes. I’m tired, woman. Stop. Turn the brain off.”
“Reese,” I whispered. More laughter. A hiccup now.
“What?” But he knew. I could hear his smile. “Ah. You’re buzzed.”
“I am. Did you use a one-use girl tonight?”
“Who is that?” a voice asked from where he was.
“Sorry,” he said to them. “It’s a chick. Hold on.” He was moving around. I heard a bunch of static sounds until a door closed, and his voice came back, dropping low, “Give me a second. I’m actually going to the lobby to have a conversation with you.”
“I’m a chick? Why not ducklings? Little ducks? Too close to little dicks?”
He barked out a laugh, then smothered it. “Chill. Give me a second to regroup.”
A ding.
“Are you on the elevator?”
“I am, and yes, there are people here.” He said to them, “Nice night, huh?”
A woman laughed. A guy said something. Then I heard, “You’re Reese Forster, aren’t you?”
“No.” I shot upright on the couch. “I’ve got him now. He’s mine.”
Reese snorted, but said to them, “I am.” To me, “One second.”
The elevator door dinged again, and I could hear Reese stop to take a selfie. He signed a couple things for them, and then the phone came back to his mouth. “Hold on. I’m moving somewhere more private.” He asked someone else, “My roommate’s sleeping, and I know you guys don’t like people to hang out in the hallways. Is there somewhere I can take this call?”
A sudden burst of laughter and yelling came from where he was, in the background.
“Oh yes, Mr. Forster,” someone said. “Of course. One moment, please.”
It was another two minutes before I heard a door close and Reese said more clearly, “Okay. I’m in a back office that I’m pretty sure some dude was hoping to take a nap in for his thirty-minute break just now.” He yawned. “And shit. Wh
y am I talking to you at two in the morning?”
I forgot he was an hour ahead where he was. “Why would you not talk to me when I’m buzzed?” I felt a belch coming and stifled it. “I’m hilarious.”
He laughed quietly. I heard creaking on his end. “Maybe. So entertain me, woman.”
“Stop calling me woman. I have a name.”
“Gnat.”
“You call me a gnat again, and I’ll start taking pictures of your dirty boxers. You have some here, you know.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Stop calling me a gnat. It’s insulting.”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. You’re right. Just…names felt a bit personal, Miss Don’t-Ask-Me-Any-Real-Questions. Thought a nickname, made in jest, was the right way to go.”
“What do you usually call your female friends?”
He grunted. “I don’t have female friends.”
“Right. You have one-use girls?”
“Or multiple-use girls.”
“That is disgusting.”
He laughed. “Sorry. I don’t really date, so I don’t label anyone anything, but would you rather I say fuck buddies? I have a few of those.”
I wasn’t feeling a burning in my chest. Not at all. A gnat hadn’t nestled there and started digging even deeper.
I scowled. “When’s the last time you dated?”
“Really? We’re going this route?”
“What?”
“Don’t be a jealous chick. I don’t like that.”
“Don’t call me a chick either.”
“Shit!” He was silent a second.
I bit my lip. What was I doing?
“Are you seriously jealous?” He was quieter now.
Was I? “I don’t know.”
His voice was strained. “I thought we were friends. I mean…we are, aren’t we?”
Had I just messed that up? I swallowed, pushed down a lump, and sagged back on his couch. “I have no idea. I mean, I’m a mess.”
“Certifiable.” He sounded relieved.
I relaxed, stretching my legs over the cushions. “You know about Stupid Tragic Guy, but you don’t know about the ex-ex, the most recent ex.”
“There was another guy?”
“I was using him to try to get over the tragic guy.”
“It didn’t work?”
“No.”
“Let me guess. Did you get propositioned by his grandpa?”
“Yes!” I smiled. “You do pay attention to me.”
“It was a shot in the dark.” He was wry now, with a twinge of wariness. “Is this a problem for us?”
“There’s an us?”
He was quiet again. One beat. Then, softer, “I thought there was. A friendship us.”
“Friends.”
“Are we doing it? The talk?” He was grinning. I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t hear it, but I could feel it.
“The talk?” I asked.
“Where we cement an actual friendship, where we move toward giving a shit about each other and have each others’ backs, and it’s not a big deal.”
Friends. For real. “So that means I should stop calling you Reese Forster in my head, huh?”
He snorted. “Oh my God, tell me you don’t do that.”
I laughed. “I don’t. Or I didn’t. Today.”
More laughter. “Fuck. You’re whacked.” A sigh. “So, when are you going to tell me about the ex-ex?”
“Never-never.”
“You’re a different duck, that’s for sure.” He seemed resigned to it.
“I know.”
“But I like that.”
I smiled once again, but just like that, my eyelids were getting heavy. “I know.” The moment had passed. We were back to friendly and comfortable waters.
And I was still buzzed, but now the buzzed had moved to the buzz that makes you want to fall asleep, and fast.
I yawned.
A soft chuckle. “So, do you want me to answer those questions, or is this where we hang up and you pass out on my couch?”
I was nodding off. I yawned again into the phone, “Saftrabels. Congrassuladnsonurwn.”
“Yeah. Okay.” He laughed. “No idea what you just said. Good night, friend. I’ll text you my responses in the morning.”
But I didn’t hear. I was asleep.
Reese: Octopus. BBC says they’re smart. Bears could eat me, so there’s that.
Reese: The point of having the last word is feeling like you won? I don’t know. Conflict should be about resolution, not winning, or so my coach said, but he likes to yell. And get the last word in.
Reese: Makes sense to me, but I have someone to clean my place too.
Reese: Yes. It would have to change it to Warm Terrain and no longer Frozen Tundra.
Reese: Let’s cheer again. Good measure.
Reese: Trust her when she says she’s on birth control.
Reese: Are we talking anal or oral?
Reese: Not a goddamn clue. Let’s make up our own word. That can be called Frozen Tundra instead.
I woke up to his responses, followed by one last one.
Reese: Night.
And then a few new ones that had come in this morning.
Reese: On the bus. Had breakfast. Want our flight number?
Reese: Why are you not answering? Still sleeping or am I getting the last word in?
Reese: Fuck it, woman. Wake up. I’m bored. Send me new questions.
I laughed, rolling over, still on his couch, and typed back.
Me: I slept in. Awake now. Are you in the air?
I sent my response an hour after his last one, and when he didn’t buzz back right away, I left my phone on the couch and got up for the day. After showering and dressing, I was heading out when my phone buzzed.
Trent: I’m coming back this week. The team canceled their last couple days, so I have free time. Want to do something fun? I’ve got nothing planned.
I frowned and called him.
“You’re not with Owen and Hadley, are you?” he answered.
I needed to check on my fishing cabin, so I was heading that way. “No. Why?”
“Because I sent them texts too. What are you up to?”
“I’m heading to my cabin right now. What were you saying about canceling or something?”
“Yeah. I was scheduled to come in for a last motivational talk for them at the end of the week, but they’ve been changing the days a lot lately. The last change came in this morning. In three days they’re done at camp.”
“They’re done?”
Reese hadn’t said a word.
“Yeah, but the reason I texted is because I had them scheduled for later in the week. My manager moved things around in my schedule, but I still have those days off. So now, after flying in and doing their speech, I have four days clear. You want to do something?” He paused. “Hold on.” His phone buzzed.
A second later, he came back on. “Uh, what’s going on with you and Reese Forster?”
I stopped mid-stride. I was between the last cabin in Reese’s village and my fishing cabin, a good five hundred feet ahead.
My stomach clenched. “Uh, what do you mean?”
And did his voice have a certain disapproval in it? Flashbacks of my father came to me. He’d tried to get me to leave Damian years before I did.
“I just got a text from Owen. They have time off from Keith, but he didn’t know if you’d be able to or not. Something about being busy with Forster?”
Owen. Seriously.
“Nothing’s going on. We’ve just become friends. That’s all.”
He was quiet a beat. “Friends? You and Reese Forster? The ball player, right?” His disbelief was evident.
I didn’t know how to answer that one. Yes, to convince him, or yes, to defend myself?
I started forward again. I hadn’t gone to my own cabin for two days, and the times before had been just to dash in, my nose plugged, as I grabbed what I could and dashed back out.
When I got to my cabin, I waited. I couldn’t talk and not breathe at the same time, so I sat on the front porch, my feet dangling off the side, facing the lake. It was just beyond the tree line and a dip down to the edge, which was lined with rocks. The nice beach area was on the other side of the island. Still, it was pretty. The sun was shining, a sparkling line clearing right through the trees and making the water look like it was glistening.
I hadn’t taken the time since coming here to appreciate the island. Most of my time had been spent avoiding things or being busy. Or with Reese. Sitting here, with Trent quiet for a moment, I took it all in.
A piece of me settled. Calm.
“I thought you went to camp to get away from another guy situation?” Trent said.
“Technically, I was fired and dumped, but let’s be honest here. Lucas and his grandpa weren’t really anything, and neither is Reese. Friends, Trent. Like you and me. Friends.”
I might’ve been lying a tad bit, but that was between me and the fish smell.
“What were you thinking about doing?”
Shit. Not that I was making much money, but that meant I was losing four days of wages. That could’ve covered a weekend of laundry.
“I don’t know. Some of the others aren’t far away. I was thinking we could do a road trip. Janet mentioned having a new house. We could go there, see her. Dinner. You know, just spending time together. She has walking trails by her place too.”
I glanced to the left of my cabin. There was a better walking trail right here.
“I don’t know. You know I don’t get along with Janet.” She was one of the gossiping friends. I’d melted out of the scene so she couldn’t talk shit about Damian. Though she didn’t know that. So maybe the whole not getting along was more on my end, but her tongue could be razor sharp when she talked about her ‘friends.’ I’d heard more than I needed to. Why let myself be a target for her?
But Trent, he loved her. Trent loved everyone.
“Charlie.” His voice dipped. We were going real talk here. All these people in my life, all they wanted to do was converse seriously about things. What was the fun in that? Could we not adult in other ways?
“You said yourself that you need to reconnect with people. Janet’s the glue in the group. She’s the only one who talks to everyone else, besides me. If you want to convey a message to the group or an apology, it’s smart to go see her.”