by Mia Ford
That was the coward’s way out, but it would’ve been so pleasurable and at least I could say that I had returned the favor for last night.
“Let me take your jacket. Dinner will be ready shortly. We can enjoy a glass of wine and talk before dinner. I have a few things to say that were left unsaid last night. I wasn’t just saying those words because I thought that you needed to hear them.” He slipped my jacket from around my shoulders and I heard him gasp with seeing the dress that I was wearing. He moved my hair away from my neck; took a whiff of my womanly scent and then lightly touched the tip of his tongue to the nape of my neck. I thought that I was going to collapse into his arms. I managed to control myself for the time being.
“I want you to know that these moments these last few days have been the happiest of my life.” I was preparing the scene, trying my best to pull the band-aid off slowly and not startle him like a wounded animal.
“I know when I started to have real feelings for you. It was when you leaped out of the plane and screamed at the top of your lungs. I saw how willing you were to take that leap of faith and it hit me right where it mattered. You scared me and I know that I didn’t act appropriately. I could’ve handled that a whole lot better, but I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. They were new to me and there’s no way that I could express to you all of that.” He opened the wine and we sat down in his living room where I remembered putting my head on his shoulder.
It was comfortable and serene. There didn’t seem to be anything that could break up this feeling like we were supposed to be together forever.
“I appreciate what you have to say, Marshall, but there’s more to it than you realize. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was cowardly. I may seem strong and confident, but underneath, I still have moments where I’m not the person that you think I am.” I was saying the words, but I still hadn’t gotten to the point of the conversation.
The ding of the stove interrupted my thoughts. He took my hand and we went into the dining room. Everything was perfect. He even pulled out my chair, letting me sit down and then retreating to his own side of the table. We were eye to eye. He lifted the lid of each dish. I could smell the aroma of the Italian pasta, garlic bread and this freshly made ravioli that had me looking at him with surprise.
“My grandmother, god rest her soul, taught me some of the finer things of Italian cooking. I sat at her feet and I learned from the master how to make my own pasta. I think that you’ll agree that it is better than the store bought variety. She always said that everything tastes better made with love.” I was feeling claustrophobic like the walls were closing in on me. I quickly took the glass of wine and downed it in one swallow.
I had a few bites, but I really couldn’t think about food at a time like this. It was delicious and I had to recognize that he had gone out of his way to make this evening special. I had to steel myself for what I was about to say. I knew that I would have the wrath of Lillian down on top of me. I didn’t care anymore and my feelings surpassed any danger that might befall me.
“I’m going to have to say this before I lose my nerve. I was hired by Lillian, Tina, and Julia to make you fall in love with me. They wanted me to break your heart, stomp on it and then leave you to pick up the pieces. I thought that was the extent of it, but Lillian has had it out for you from the moment that you stopped seeing her. She doesn’t just want to break your heart, but she wants to ruin you and leave you penniless.” I could see that the evening had taken an ugly turn. The expression on his face was a mask of euphoria. It was replaced with contempt.
“I’m going to ask you very nicely to leave.” His tone was neutral, but his anger was right there driving like a knife through me by the look in his eyes.
“I need you to listen to me.” That was the last thing that I should have said. He took a long and drawn out breath and slammed down his hand so hard onto the table that the food and the plates lifted at least a foot in the air. They came back down with a resounding rattle of glass and cutlery.
“I think that you have said more than enough. You must’ve been laughing behind my back this entire time watching me fall needlessly and hopelessly in love with you. If it’s any consolation, you are very good at your job. You do know that you’re not much better than those hookers on the street that sell their wares to those with money. You used me for money and I do hope that your payday was worth it.” He wasn’t letting me explain. I didn’t blame him for his hurt feelings, but I had to do something to soothe those troubled waters.
“I’m not leaving here until you hear me…ouch…you’re hurting me.” He had grabbed my wrist and had come around from the other side of the table to lift me to my feet by my arms. I thought that he was going to strike me. He dragged me to the door and threw my coat in my face.
“I can’t stand to look at you. I can’t believe that I was so stupid to let you in. It was my own fault and I guess from your point of view I had this coming. Get out before I do something that we both regret.” There was no point in arguing and his mind was already made up.
I stood at his door trying to come up with the right words and there was really nothing that I could say in my own defense. I had taken the job and I was more than happy to rip his heart from his chest and let him suffer the indignity of having it displayed for the entire world. I had no idea what I was going to do about Lillian, but getting away from the city and my problems was the only thing that came to mind.
“I’ll go, but not until I tell you that everything…” The door slammed in my face and I was left shivering not from the cold but from the icy reception that I had received. I called him, letting it ring and getting his voicemail before leaving a message. I didn’t know if he would listen to it from the beginning to the end. I had to tell him that everything was not a lie. I told him that I was going away and that I wouldn’t be back for a week. I poured out my heart in that message. It was less than a minute before the phone signaled that my time had reached its limit.
I heard the scream and it made me stop in my tracks on the sidewalk. He wasn’t keeping it bottled up. I wanted to run back into his arms. I wanted to give him my hot embrace and that feeling of undying love coming from my heart. I knew that he was in no shape or any condition to hear it. It was better that I get some distance from him and as well from Lillian.
I was kicking myself. I should’ve waited to tell him the truth until after dinner and possibly dessert that would be served hot under the covers. I got into my car, slamming the door and then my hands down onto the steering wheel in that order. I breathed deeply, finally composing myself long enough to drive away and look into my rearview mirror. I could only hope that was not the last time that I was going to see him. He was blind with rage, but maybe in time, he would see that my feelings for him were true.
I still had no idea what I was going to do about Lillian and the obvious betrayal that she would feel when she saw her work unravel in front of her eyes. I was more upset that I had hurt Marshall than I was about Lillian coming after me. I would go to the mountains in a secluded area, wallow in my self-pity and try to come to terms with what I’d done.
LUST
BOOK 3
LUST (BOOK 3)
Heart on the run
Gillian West had what she considered a good life, but then everything changed when three women came to require her services. It seemed like such a simple idea of going after a man that was known for playing the field. Her job was simple. She had to seduce him with her body, break him down with psychological torture and then humiliate him for the world to see. She thought that she knew what she was doing, but she had no idea who was playing puppet master. Lillian had turned out to be more of the mastermind where she wanted more than just revenge. What Gillian wasn’t counting on was learning more about Marshall. What she wasn’t ready for was telling him the truth and then having her heart shattered by his hurtful words. She goes to a cabin, a recluse away from the rest of the world and yet there still does
n’t seem to be a way for her to run far enough.
“The authorities are warning everybody to stay off the roads. If you don’t have to go out, then it is suggested that you hunker down and have supplies ready in case of a blackout. This blizzard came out of nowhere and even the weather forecasters are baffled by how easily they were fooled by only a few flurries. This is a late breaking news bulletin. The roads are treacherous, completely snow packed and icy underneath.” I looked out my windshield attesting to the announcers claim that this was a storm that nobody saw coming.
I had problems trying to keep the windshield from freezing over. The wipers were streaking and I could barely see the hand in front of my face. The wind had picked up considerably with driving snow that made visibility almost nothing. There was no point in turning back and my final destination was no more than a few miles ahead. I was certain that if I took my time that I would get there unscathed. I was one of the lucky ones and I had my winter tires already installed well before the season had begun.
“This just in, the main road is impassable and there have already been several car accidents in the area. The police are advising to stay off the road while they deal with these unfortunate accidents.” I passed one car that had their four-way flashers going off like neon lights. It was a good thing that they had them on because I was almost upon them before I realized that they were there.
I managed to avoid a head-on collision with a transport that had veered into my lane and caused me to act without thinking. I went into a skid, but I managed to pull myself out of it by using evasive maneuvers.
“The weather experts have confirmed that the storm is lying heavily over the area and will persist for several hours. They have categorized this one as a blizzard. Winds will gust up to 50 miles an hour making visibility difficult at the best of times.” I didn’t need a constant reminder, but it was the only station I could pick up in the storm. I tried to find others, but all I got was static. It was very annoying.
There was nobody on the road and the last vestige of humanity was the car and the semi truck that probably was white-knuckling it all the way. I couldn’t think of any good reason for anybody to be out in this. I was the exception. I was running and I couldn’t get far enough away from my troubles.
I was driving like a little old lady from Pasadena. Taking my time at a snail’s pace was the best way to approach this unless I came up against something that I wasn’t going to be able to handle on my own. Even with my winter tires, my car was still sliding considerably, but I had managed not to drive myself into a ditch of snow.
His words cut me like a knife, slicing into my heart and leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth. Lillian was the cause of my misfortune. She was the one that put me into this position and yet I had to thank her for letting me find a man that was worthy of my affections. It was a double-edged sword. I didn’t want to think about Marshall, but there was no way that I could think about anything else.
There was his smiling face. His beautiful soul and the way that he looked at me had me wondering how everything had gone so wrong in such a short period of time. I knew that opening my mouth was going to be a mistake. I also knew that he wasn’t going to take it kindly that I was there to bring him a bit of his own medicine.
It was complicated and I tried to explain, but he really didn’t want to hear anything that I had to say. He was acting like a typical macho man that couldn’t see the good thing that was right in front of him. He was the one that had set me free. My heart was closed off, completely barren of human touch and then he had to come into my life.
I had to open up my window, reaching out and slapping my wiper to make sure that they were clear of ice and snow. I felt the stinging shot of what felt like sleet against my face. It was a cold reminder of what I was feeling deep down inside. The stinging blow of his words was something that I was never going to forget.
Lillian would find a way to get back at me. I wasn’t sure if she was going to be coming after me personally or contracting the job out to somebody that wasn’t opposed to getting his hands dirty. I’d stepped in it pretty damn heavily and I had no idea how to get out. The best thing that I could do was to find some perspective and coming here to this winter wonderland was the perfect way to let some time pass.
There were no tracks on the road. I didn’t even know where the road was and I was lucky that there were clear-cut markers on the side of the road to indicate that I had gone too far to one side. Without them, I probably would have been driving in some kind of field or the worst possible scenario stranded on the side of the road with only the engine to keep me warm until somebody came to the rescue.
I had on my leather gloves, gripping the steering wheel with both hands like I had been taught to do when I first learned how to drive. This was no time to play it cool with the one hand on the steering wheel. This was a time for serious contemplation. I didn’t want to die and driving well below the speed limit was preferable over having an accident that would keep me from reaching the safe haven of the cabin.
If I was going to look at the bright side, then I would know by morning that the fresh powder on the mountain was going to make for some great skiing. I was going to need some lessons. The last time that I had strapped on a pair was when I was a small child with my parents.
I still remember those days fondly. It was such an innocent time where the only thing that I had to worry about was whether or not I was going to wear enough layers in the snow. I had no idea that being an adult was this difficult. I had to admit that I did excel at my job and selling cars was easy when I put my sexuality on display. The sweet syrupy words laced with sexual innuendo were a good way to not only get those guys to buy cars but to make them stand at attention like loyal soldiers inside their pants.
I saw what I thought was a light ahead and breathed a bit of a sigh of relief to know that I had gotten here.
The parking lot was jammed with cars covered in snow and only a few sparse parking spots to choose from. I stopped and stayed silent with the wind howling outside. I was in desperate need of a few moments to compose myself.
I used my hand to clear the window. I saw the resort and the twinkle of lights coming from the cabins where I was going to stay sheltered. Those cabins were built to take the pounding of Mother Nature.
I took a deep breath. I was wearing a green army like parka that I had keeping me warm. I opened the door and I made a mad dash for the main office. I had to be very careful in how I stepped. I almost lost my balance a few times. I must have looked pretty damn funny to anybody that was watching me.
I got to the door, opening it and slamming it behind me before the elements had a chance to bleed into the inside. The atmosphere was cozy and there were those that had been skiing sitting by a roaring fire and drinking hot toddies. The place was made of mostly pine wood. It had the telltale sign of a ski chalet.
“Here, you take this and I think that you need it more than I do.” This buxom blonde with a skintight ski outfit in pink handed me a cup of hot chocolate that had her bright red lipstick on the rim. I gave her a nod of thanks and then I picked up my keys from the front desk. I found my way to the cabin. It was almost too good to be true. It was quaint and had the feel of something that time forgot.
I didn’t bother packing and I was used to living out of suitcases when I was barely able to rub two pennies together. I had a tendency to surf from the couch of whatever friend decided to give me a place to stay for however long I needed it. I didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming a salesperson. Like everything in my life, I fell into it by accident and I don’t think that I had ever been any happier. I was good at it. It took me awhile to figure out that I had the tools and I just had to learn how to use them.
Having a bit more curve was the kind of sex appeal that the guys were looking to be with. I was not opposed to one night stands. I actually enjoyed waking up with a strange man with no idea of what his name was. The young ones were my victims. I would treat them like piec
es of meat and then I would leave them like a hit and run victim on the side of the road.
I heard a knock on the door. I had no idea who would be out on a night like this. I cautiously approached, pulling back the threadbare white curtains to see the disheveled expression on the front door manager’s face. I opened it quickly, not wanting him to freeze to death or catch the death of cold out there.
“I wanted to bring you some dry firewood for the fireplace.” He was small in stature, but there was something about him that made me think of him as a little brother. “I know that your reservation states that you’re going to be here for a week. I do hope that the unfortunate inclement weather hasn’t dampened your spirits. They say that it should clear by morning. I’ve already set up an appointment for you to have your first lesson. I’m sure that you’ll be pleased by the young man that will be showing you the ropes. I will warn you that he has a reputation for sleeping with his clients.” The one thing that I didn’t have to worry about was somebody turning my head.
“I appreciate the warning, but it’s not something that I’m going to concern myself with.” I watched as he expertly stoked the fires and soon had them raging with this warmth that converged on me with no warning whatsoever. I had on a white fluffy sweater underneath the jacket and a pair of jeans that looked like they were put on me with the Jaws of Life.