by K T Bowes
“You’re a shocker!” he laughed and started the engine. “I don’t know why I bother with you.”
He pulled out onto the main road, smirking at my reply of, “Well, why do you?”
Choosing to ignore it, he headed south, onto the motorway, putting Auckland’s sprawling metropolis in his rear-view mirror.
We didn’t speak for half an hour while I alternately sulked and inspected my war wound. Teina stopped the car at the Bombay services and filled up with gas. He got out to pay and then turned the car around to park outside the cafe. “I need coffee,” he announced, opening my door and holding out his hand.
I declined food but accepted the coffee he bought with gratitude, sipping while he ate a steak and cheese pie and watched me through a veil of dark eyelashes. “Do you know why it’s called the Bombays?” he asked and I frowned at the odd question.
“No. It’s stupid,” I said, maintaining a grumpy expression. I looked through the glass at the busy car park and hid the fact I’d asked myself the same question hundreds of times as I passed through the area, on a bus going to some remote soccer game.
“Do you wanna know?” he asked, his eyes teasing. I did, but not enough to beg for it.
“Not bothered,” I answered and he bit his lip and masked his amusement.
He clasped his ankles around my foot under the table and moved his head until I couldn’t avoid his eyes any longer. “Are you gonna sulk all afternoon or do I need to take you into the bathroom and sort you out?”
My eyes widened and I looked around the cafe in embarrassment, wondering if he meant the threat. Nobody looked in our direction at his lewd suggestion and I relaxed. “Take me into the bathroom,” I said and Teina looked surprised, scraping his chair back.
“Ok.”
“No!” I hissed and he laughed, mischief in his eyes coupled with victory at having foiled my bluff.
“It’s nothing to do with India,” he said, pulling his chair back under the table and scooting forward to reach for my hands. “This area used to be called Williamson’s Clearing, but he subdivided the land ready for a group of new settlers arriving on a ship called The Bombay. They decided to call the new town Bombay.”
“Oh.” I frowned in disappointment. “I thought it was more exciting than that.”
Teina smiled and blinked his long lashes. He glanced upwards with a smile as the waitress collected his empty plate and our cups and she smiled back. A flash of jealousy cast an ugly shadow across my soul and I put my head down to avoid Teina’s eyes. His hands felt warm on my fingers, massaging the rigid bones with gentle, sensuous strokes. “Can we go to the bathroom and get it over with?” I asked, making my voice sound dull and bored.
Far from being irritated, Teina smiled with his eyes and shook his head. “I’ve got other plans for you, Ms Saint.”
I looked up into his eyes and felt the lurch in my gut as my heart invested a little bit more in this intriguing male. His lips quirked upwards revealing a long scar buried in the stubble next to his jawline and I resisted the urge to reach out and stroke it, wanting to feel his cheek beneath my fingers. My lips parted and I watched as his eyes flicked down to my mouth and then upwards, the tension heavy between us. “Come on,” he said, his voice soft as he tugged me out of my seat. “We’ve a way to go yet.”
I used the bathroom alone and found Teina waiting by his car. The hand dryer wouldn’t work and I flapped my arms to get the water off as I walked towards him, my dress sashaying around my thighs. He leaned with his neat bum on the passenger door of his vehicle, arms folded and eyes watching me. Perfect teeth nibbled his bottom lip and I felt like an organ in a specimen jar. “Where are we going?” I asked, leaning next to him and noticing the way his hair curled above his ears. It struck me as endearing and I reached out a hand and stroked the soft locks.
“Somewhere nice,” he said, smoothing his fingers along the underside of my forearm and narrowing sultry eyes as I shivered in response.
“As long as it’s away from the city,” I said with a sigh. “Maybe drop me somewhere and I’ll start again under a different name.”
“That bad?” Teina asked, fixing his arm around my shoulder. He kissed my temple and I snuggled into his armpit, enjoying the sun on my neck and the soft scent of his aftershave drifting around my head. “What happened on the pitch?” he asked, his voice tender and I wondered if he cared or if professional curiosity drove his question.
I shrugged, dislodging his arm and pulling on his hand to put it back. “Brian coerced me into playing but I’ve got a lot going on at the moment. I didn’t want to play this season but then I felt I had no choice. I haven’t trained so I’m not as fit as I need to be, he put me in an unfamiliar position to fill a gap and I got lost. When I made that tackle I saw something in myself I didn’t like. I won’t play again.”
“Become a referee.” Teina sounded serious and I imagined my father’s horror as I ran out onto the pitch wearing a ref’s shirt. It would serve him right.
“Maybe,” I mused. “Not right now though. Staying out of prison is more important at the moment.”
I felt Teina’s body tense and my heart quickened in fear. His body’s reaction told me he wouldn’t be visiting. “It doesn’t matter.” I put my hand on the door handle and ignored the look of dread on his face. “Are we going to this mystery place, or what?”
Teina turned off in Ngaruawahia and took the back roads west to the coast. I smelled the sea even before we got there, letting its scent blow in the open window and caress my face. We passed through magnificent bush and narrow, winding roads until the small town of Raglan opened before us like a flower. I laid back in the seat, stretched out and relaxed in the different environment. The town looked sweet and bustled with life, slower paced and less frantic than Auckland’s perpetual movement.
Teina parked near a church off the beaten track and locked up his car. I felt a frisson of excitement as he held out his hand and I watched as my tiny paw fitted into it, our fingers interlocking. Happiness budded but the usual stab of fear squashed it, reminding me to enjoy the moment because it wouldn’t last. Life would crowd in and ruin any chance of extended pleasure. I squeezed Teina’s fingers and decided to live moment by moment for a while. I could confess my sins to the prison chaplain.
Chapter 31
The black sand of the west coast never ceased to surprise me, no matter how many times I saw it. Rich in iron ore it sparkled, retaining the heat of the sun and burning exposed flesh with its glass like quality. Teina led me down through the main street, packed with small shops and day trippers eating at small tables outside cafes. The area hummed with the steady buzz of satisfied humanity, backed by the lulling sound of the sea slapping against rocks in the harbour.
Teina clasped my hand in his and we strolled with companionable ease, further cementing a bond which began with lust but showed signs of progressing into something more permanent. His fingers around mine felt right and a heavy sense of foreboding grew in my chest. It couldn’t last. Nothing good happened to people like me. My heavy sigh drew Teina’s attention and he slipped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. “What’s wrong?”
I lifted my face and sought his lips, pausing my footsteps while we kissed. “It feels too good to be true,” I whispered, waiting for a family with buckets, spades and grizzling children to pass on the narrow street. “I’ll go home and all this will be a distant memory.”
I swallowed and cast my eyes around, soaking up the essence of the moment, wanting it to sustain me with sights and smells when the rug-puller yanked the carpet from under me and sent my ass tumbling to the hard ground. Teina steered me to the left of a shop doorway and pinned me to the wall with both hands either side of my shoulders. “You’re a conundrum, Ms Saint,” he said, his voice for my ears only. “How can I make it better?”
“You can’t.” The words came out in a rush, tinged with bitterness. “I’m toxic, Teina. I ruin everything I touch.”
He ran h
is finger down my cheek and brushed the pad across my lips. “It can’t be that bad, Ursula.”
“It is.” I forced myself to smile. “But I don’t want it to spoil today.”
Teina studied me through those penetrating dark eyes and I felt my soul being laid bare. His lips twitched and he leaned closer. “Promise you’ll come to me if you need help?” he asked and I swallowed and nodded. We both felt the sharp edges of the lie as it spun out into the sunshine with effortless grace; knowing I wouldn’t.
I closed my eyes to mask the fear, suspecting the cops would be waiting for me when I got home. The laptop would be sitting in an Auckland police station being examined by men who didn’t know Pete, didn’t care about his privacy and fostered no desire to safeguard my dignity. They’d bag it, tag it and drag it out in a court case once they’d got to grips with the complicated spreadsheets. Terry would feel betrayed and demand his money back as Pete’s homosexuality became common knowledge at the club. I snorted out a jaded laugh and Teina’s brow knitted.
“What?”
I shook my head, regretting my lapse of control. “I love my new car,” I said, biting my lip to stop the inner pain. “But I’m certain I won’t get to keep it.” Even if Terry didn’t want it back, the chances were it was part of pecuniary gains from illegal activities and I’d lose it anyway.
Teina tutted and drew my face into his shirt. “Then we’ll sort it,” he said, with confidence.
“You gonna be my chauffeur?” I joked and he smiled.
“You’d have to admit to your family that we’re in a relationship.”
I swallowed and uttered the hardest words I’d ever said. “I don’t have a family.”
Teina winced as though I’d slapped him and shook his head. “Don’t say that. Family’s all we come into this life with.”
“I don’t want mine.” I gritted my teeth. “Dad’s taken me for a fool and I’ll never speak to him again. They’ve all stood by and watched me suffer and done nothing to help. I hate them.”
“No you don’t,” he said, tightening his arm around my shoulders and steering me towards a cafe. He didn’t let go until he’d planted my bum in a seat and shoved a menu under my nose. “Eat something. You burned off breakfast on the pitch.”
“I didn’t eat breakfast.” I pushed a finger around the menu choices, my appetite non-existent.
“I’ll order for you then,” Teina replied, responding to the waitress with ready choices. She blushed pink at his smile and I excused myself as a sense of threat sliced through the air, hiding in the bathroom to avoid my own inadequacy.
Leaning on the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror. Long, dark curls tumbled down my back, a fuzzy halo hovering above where the wind had whipped it into a mess. My straighter fringe dangled in front of eyes which looked sad and filled with foreboding beneath their black lashes. I washed my face in cold water and patted down the loose tendrils of hair, neatening my appearance and trying to match the strong, graceful man who waited for his lunch and an unworthy companion. It dawned on me that he’d referred to our union as a relationship and I’d missed the cue, seeing only problems without solutions.
I sat at the table, glancing around me with unease. Teina studied me with calm interest, breeding a greater sense of panic in my heart. It couldn’t last; it was an illusion. Everything about him seemed too good to be true. “We should go,” I said, casting my glance towards the open door and shifting in my seat.
“No.” He placed his hand over mine and kept it in place. “The food will be here in a minute and I need to eat.”
I nodded and let his fingers caress mine, wrestling with feelings of lust alternating with guilt. The vicar at the local Anglican church taught about the sins which kept Jesus writhing on a cross, greed, sex outside marriage and theft. There were others, but I focussed on those of mine which he suffered for. I wanted to keep the car but knew I would lose it. I wanted to go to bed with Teina and be able to blame stale wine for my enjoyment of his body, but the truth was I didn’t need alcohol to lose myself in him. I laid the issue of theft on my own shoulders. I wasn’t involved with any gambling ring at the soccer club but the loan Terry finished early made me a recipient of the proceeds by implication. I declared myself guilty in God’s court and waited for the gavel to fall on my head.
The waitress brought two plates of scrambled eggs to the table and I stared at mine. Teina leaned over and sliced off a piece of toast with his cutlery, pressing it between my lips. “Want me to feed ya?” he asked and I smirked.
“Idiot!” I picked up my cutlery and ate the egg, scraping it away from the bread. “You have a food fetish,” I commented, watching him tuck into his plate.
“Have to be,” he said. “I’m diabetic. Insulin and regular meals. Best way to stay alive.”
“Oh.” I leaned forward and showed an interest. “There’s a little boy at school with diabetes. My teacher aide takes him to do his bloods before meals and I keep chocolate in my drawer for him, just in case.” I jerked my head towards his hands. “I didn’t see you do your bloods.”
Teina winked. “That’s because I’m fast.” He pulled a pouch from his trouser pocket and laid it on the table. I recognised it as a diabetes kit. “I’ve been doing it so long, it’s second nature. I tested my bloods while you were in the bathroom and gave myself a shot in my stomach.”
I glanced around the cafe at the other diners, expecting covert, curious looks. Nobody looked in our direction. “Didn’t they see you do it?” I leaned closer.
“Na. I turned towards the corner. That’s why I sat here.” Teina poured us a glass of water each and I realised the flaw made me warm to him even more. The attraction hung between us like a fog and I slipped off my shoe and laid my bare foot over his crossed ankles under the table.
I finished the egg and left the toast, copying Teina and drinking the iced water instead of coffee. The day moved along regardless of our temporary halt and when I pulled Teina’s hand towards me to look at his watch, my eyes widened at realising three o’clock approached.
“I haven’t seen the sea yet,” I said, imagining the cool surf brushing over my toes.
“Let’s do it,” he replied and stood, stuffing the dark pouch back into his pocket and retrieving his wallet.
I grabbed at his wrist as he passed, feeling the strong tendons and sinews beneath my fingers. “I’ll pay you back,” I said, my face communicating sincerity. “I promise.”
“No need.” Teina shook his head and brushed his lips over mine. His sexy smile lit his face and left my stomach pitching into my shoes as I fell even more under his spell.
The harbour bridge teemed with people as day visitors and tourists left the black beach and headed back into town to their vehicles. We walked against the flow, pausing to watch daring teenagers clamber onto the railing in the centre of the bridge and dive off. Their squeals and splashes added to the sense of excitement in the air.
Teina kept hold of my hand as we walked along the beach, waiting while I slipped out of my tennis shoes and knotted the laces. He laughed as I hung them around my neck to free up my hands. “How long have you reffed?” I asked, dancing through the shallow waves as Teina strolled along the dry sand in his polished shoes.
“About ten years,” he replied, calling over the sea noises. “I started after I stopped playing.”
“You must have started young,” I commented, bending to pick up a shell and frowning as my shoes bashed my knees and dipped in the water.
“You think?” He chuckled to himself and I rejoined him, trying to guess his age. His muscular frame seemed deceptive and his wavy hair flipped into his eyes as he walked along, hands stuffed into his pockets. I halted in front of him and stopped him walking, pulling his left hand out of his pocket and placing the heart shaped shell into his palm.
“How old are you?” Curiosity showed in my face.
“Thirty-eight,” he answered and I watched the shutters come down over his face. The age gap made him a
fraid but for me it brought comfort. His steady, assured demeanor and the air of maturity fit with the older man image and satisfied my need to be cosseted and nurtured. I closed his fingers around the shell and lifted my face for a kiss.
“That’s so hot,” I breathed onto his cheek. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer into my body and offering reassurance in a curious role reversal.
His face smiled with relief and I noticed the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes. “It doesn’t put you off?” he asked, sounding like a man who’d held his breath too long.
“Not at all.” I kissed him again, pressing my tongue between his lips and feeling the sexual tension between us heighten. “I like it. It explains why you’re so commanding on the pitch. You must be an amazing lawyer.” I released him and took his right hand, stepping along next to him.
His face showed confusion and he seemed lost for words. “Right,” he said.
We walked for ages, Teina watching me with amusement as I played in the sea and explored the tarry sand with childish enjoyment. By the time we reached Ngarunui Beach, favoured by surfers and boogie boarders, the sun was lessening its furious grip on the hot sand and I could walk on the drier surface next to Teina. The beach looked deserted apart from the die-hards and it felt peaceful and calm. A few brave souls surfed the unpredictable waves with wind sails puffed out above them and families gathered children and belongings and headed home. We sat with a dark dune behind us and watched the tide creep towards us.
“Do you defend criminals?” My voice wobbled beneath the weight of a gnawing fear. I watched the water encroach and recede, wondering how much longer I had before life engulfed me for real and washed me away on a white crest.
Teina turned towards me, kicking sand over my feet with his movement. “Ursula, I don’t think you quite...”
I held up my hand, silencing him. “It’s ok.” I released him from the rejection and knelt up, pressing my lips over his. He met my kiss and used his arms to brace himself against the pressure of my body. I pushed and he lifted his hands off the sand, laying backwards and sighing as I covered him full length. His palms felt gritty on my skin as he caressed my back and I straddled him, getting hotter and more frantic as we kissed. My hands spread sandy sparkles through his dark hair and I groaned as his roved inside my dress and fingered the outer edge of my underwear.