The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse

by Troy Veenstra

  “Of course as the family members of the deceased have pointed out, is more than what can be said for Mr. Dryden. The Court will direct as its sentence then, that the Sheriff of this county transport you to Berrien County Women’s Corrections Facility, with the directive that, that department can send you to a corrections facility of its choosing for NOT LESS than a term of 14 and ½ to 45 years with credit for 341 days previously served. This will constitute a final judgment in your case…,” Johnston stated only to find himself being interrupted by the aunt that was there the day the plea was taken.

  “No... No. OH GOD. OH NO… YOU DIDN’T DO THAT… THIS IS NOT FAIR… IT WAS AN ACCIDENT…,” she cried out before falling down on the ground, her eyes gazing at us, burning with the same hatred, the same rage of contempt that we as a family had been feeling from the very moment her niece murdered our beloved.

  “No… No it was an accident… an accident,” she carried on until members of her family walked her out of the courtroom and into the hallway as the friends and family of Chiquita followed. It was only after she left, after her family followed her out into the hallway that Judge Johnston spoke once more. “Well that’s much better.” He stated, causing a bit of laughter in the room, helping the tension fade away as his court officers called reinforcements up from the lobby to assist with evacuating us from the floor.

  Nate Reens, a reporter from the Grand Rapids Press was there with us that day in the courtroom and reported on the events that took place. In his report titled, “Killer's family decries sentence in death of Wyoming man,” Reens stated: “Chiquita Fizer, after serving between 14 ½ and 45 years in prison for stabbing her boyfriend, Jeffrey Dryden, to death last July, will someday greet relatives upon her release while Jason Dryden will never see his twin brother again .

  “Yet it was the 22-year-old Fizer's family who was emphatic today that the second-degree murder sentence ordered by Kent County Circuit Judge Donald Johnston was unfair.” Reens stated in his report. Oddly enough, this is the same Judge Johnston that Chiquita’s aunt earlier stated, “I pray heavily that Judge Donald Johnston and the family of this young man show and have mercy on my niece Chiquita,” I wonder if she prays for the judge still.

  In the hallway as we waited with court officers in the immediate area, Jason felt the need to hug Chiquita’s family members such as her mother and aunt. After all, in all fairness it was not the family that killed his brother but rather their niece. Sadly, however, some members of her family took this hug to mean more than its intention as you will later see and read.

  Later on, as we sat in the Victims/witnesses room waiting for the coast to be cleared by the Court officers, Nate Reens located Jason and asked him how he and his family felt about the sentencing. Jason stated, “My family and I are dismayed that Fizer could be free before she turns 36, but more than that we are disappointed that she still refuses to take responsibility for Jeff’s death and admit that she willingly stabbed him and killed him that night.” Jason said.

  To monitor Chiquita, her time spent in jail and her future parole and/or release date go to:

  http://www.state.mi.us/mdoc/asp/otis2.asp

  CHAPTER 20:

  DID YOU FEEL IT?

  As an author, a poet, and an artist (yes, I draw too), there are certain things that I do to express myself and to vent. Thus, what is written below was something I shared a few hours later with my family and friends, posting it on Jeff’s Memorial Facebook Page.

  Originally, I wasn’t going to add this to the book, but Amanda Morris, (one of my cousins) said that I should as it turned a tragic event into something to be good, something pure. Thus, I now share it to the world in this book, to emphasis the feelings that members of my family and I have felt and were feeling in court that day. Thoughts and words we wanted so very much to express.

  ***

  Did you feel it?

  Did you feel it in that moment?

  That dreaded cracking of your heart. Those pauses of misery rake through your body like the plunge of a jagged blade through your flesh, as you heard those words cast down upon you.

  Did you feel the blood pulsing through your body slacken as if all hope was lost?

  The heartache and nauseating feeling building rapidly in the pit of your stomach like a raging inferno engulfing you in its ominous wake.

  Did you feel it?

  Did you feel the pounding of your heart in your chest, crashing through you like a breaking wave of helplessness as you saw your beloved one’s eyes gleam with distraught tears?

  Did you feel the weakening of your knees crashing to the floor from your own weight as you gazed heatedly into the disdainful eyes of the family across the room, gazing back at you with contempt, with loathing, to the pleasure of your gut wrenching hurt?

  Did you feel it all upon you in those passing seconds when the authenticity of what was going on came upon you, slicing into you like a blade through your gullet, sickening you with the twisted images of despair and dread?

  Did you feel it… I ask?

  Did you feel as if the world around you had betrayed you?

  That life as you knew it had ended and all you knew were lies of the world’s deceit, the pain of the world in which you never thought would be forced upon you, raping you of your innocents, of your ignorance of others grief.

  Did you feel it that day?

  The hurt, the pain, the loss, the betrayal, the hatred, the anger, the rage coursing through your veins as if it had become a part of your being, and all you thought you would ever know from that moment on was that ache, that sadness and sorrow, that loss of love for as long as breath passed through your lungs?

  Did you feel the hurt? Did you?

  Good...

  Remember that every time you go to see your beloved in prison… remember the pain they caused you and that hurt they inflicted upon so many others.

  Remember that dread in your heart every time you talk to them, every time you hear their voice, and tell them how much you love them and miss them… knowing... that what you felt was nothing…

  NOTHING to the continued pain, the CONTINUED loss your loves victim’s will always feel… REMEMBER…

  Remember it always…Remember it Eternal

  CHAPTER 21:

  A YEAR IN A MOTHERS EYES: COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A MURDERED SON

  At the end of the trial that spring day, the family and friends of Jeff Dryden met at his grave with 40 Red and Black balloons (Jeff’s favorite colors) to honor his memory and let him know in spirit, that his murder did not go unanswered.

  Tying the balloons together, Paula attached a card with a special message she wanted to convey to her departed son. The back of the envelope was addressed to, “Jeff Dryden in Heaven.” As friends and family looked upon his bronze inlaid tombstone, they said their final goodbye, sharing some of their fondest memories with Jeff. Memories they kept close to their heart, recollections that kept them going over the past year of hell, memories that will forever keep them linked to the person, the friend, the brother, nephew and son Jeff was and will always be.

  Through the year, from a few months after Jeff’s murder, until shortly after his murderer’s conviction and incarceration, I have heard the words and read the statements made by members of Chiquita’s family boasting that they know Paula’s pain, that they too are in pained for the sudden loss of their own niece, daughter, cousin and friend.

  I have heard their claims of victimization for not just Jeff but also for their own blood, claims that there were not just one victim that night but two, yet I find these claims to be a travesty a mockery to the memory to Jeff’s life.

  Almost immediately, before Jeff’s body was even cold they began to vaunt about Chiquita as being an innocent, a victim, and knowing the pain, which Paula felt. Comments of understanding, as if trying to show they could relate to the pain and hurt she felt. I found this to be ever so sickening.

  It took Paula nearly two months after Jeff’s murder to open up and
share her thoughts, her torments, her anger, rage and sadness with her friends and family, two long months of silence until she was able to express and give her feelings words on Jeff’s Memorial Facebook Page. Thus, what follows herein are her comments to her fallen son, Jeffrey Scott Dryden in the order they were written.

  These feelings, these emotions allow us to see a small glimpse, a glimmer of the pain she had felt and continued to feel, when Detective Pols first knocked on her door the morning of her son’s death. The torment she has felt every day, every moment and every breath since.

  ***

  September 4, 2010 at 11:11pm

  “I miss you so much and think of you every minute of the day. I wish I could take July 18 back and change everything. Sometimes I wonder if I can go on without you. I love you so much.”

  September 12 2010 at 1:10am

  “It is Saturday night and I am having trouble getting to sleep again, I remember 7 weeks ago when I was woke up by a detective knocking on the door. He gave me the worse news a mother can get. You were dead. I wanted to die right there myself. I miss you so much. Sometimes when Jason hugs me I want to think that it is you. I know that you are watching over me, but I want you here physically with me. It makes me feel like you are with me when I write to you. I will love you forever.”

  September 12 2010 at 930pm

  “Today Jason came over and we watched the Michigan game and Nascar, both of those you loved to do. I kept thinking of you and the way you used to hug and kiss me goodbye. I miss you sooo much. I can’t believe that it has been 7 weeks since you were taken from us. I know you are watching over us and that makes me feel a little better, but just wanted to tell you that I LOVE YOU”

  September 14 2010 at 2:12pm

  “Tony misses you so much, he cries every night. I told him to write on your page and he would feel better, I KNOW I DO. He says he doesn’t know where to start. One of these days, he will write. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH.

  September 17 2010 at 6:04pm

  “I can’t believe it is two months ago, it really does seem sooo much longer. I say tell Grandma and Grandpa Hi from me too. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.”

  September 18 2010 at 11:31am

  “Not a good day today, I can’t stop crying, two months ago today was the worse day of my life. God, I miss you so much. I Love You”

  October 10 2010 at 11:56am

  “Jeff, I miss you so much, I thought it would get a little easier with time, but I can put on a good front to people, and I’m really going thru hell right now. I miss you sooo much and I need you so much. What am I going to do without you? I just wish that bitch would rot in hell. I will love and miss you forever and ever.”

  October 18, 2010 at 11:57am

  “Three months ago today, I got the worst news anyone could ever get. My baby was dead, my life was changed forever. I miss you every minute of the day. I love you.”

  November 6, 2010 at 7:21pm

  “Today started off pretty good, I went and bought Katelyn and Sammie new winter jackets and brought them over to Jill's. The girls love them, and then on the way home I thought I would stop at the cemetery to talk to you. Then I lost it. I sat down and talked and cried so hard, I even yelled. That place is dark, lonely, and ugly without all of the flowers. I wish you weren’t there. I miss you so much. I love you my boy.”

  November 18, 2010 at 11:10am

  “It has been 4 months today since you left us. It seems so much longer than that. I think about you every minute of the day, I miss you so much. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone this much. You are my baby, and always will be the love of my life. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH”

  November 22, 2010 at 4:15pm

  “I just got back from the grocery store, to get food for Thanksgiving, and I started crying while I was standing in line to pay. I felt so stupid, but I just can't stop thinking of you. How am I going to get through the Holidays without you? I miss you so much. Oh God, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.”

  November 28, 2010 at 10:11pm

  “We put a beautiful a Christmas wreath at the cemetery this afternoon, one for you and one for Grandma and Grandpa who are taking care of you up in heaven. I have been sitting here going through you pictures, missing you so much. I Love You”

  December 18, 2010 at 3:33pm

  “Honey, it's been 5 months today since you were taken from us, and I miss you more and more each day. You're a very special angel now, watching over us all. We all love and miss you so much.”

  January 18 at 3:33pm

  “Jeff, the last time I heard you say I Love You Mom was 6 months ago today, about 6 hours before you were killed. I'm lucky that I still hear Jason say I Love You Ma, Jill say I Love You Momma, and Josh say I Love You MAMA, but I would do anything to hear your voice just one more time. I miss you so much, Jason and I just got home from the cemetery and I wish I could hear your distinct voice, but I didn't. One day I will hear you again up in Heaven, but until then I will think of you every minute of every day. I LOVE YOU, MOM.”

  January 29 at 9:21pm

  “I miss you so much sweetheart, there is nothing worse than a mother losing a child, the hurt just never goes away. I still have those wonderful memories of you that go thru my head all the time. I wish I could change time to make you still be here, but I know I can't do that. All I want is to have you back with me. I miss you so much that it hurts. Loving you”

  February 6 at 12:18pm

  “Honey, we have another court date again, who knows what will happen this time, I just need for it to be over and Chiquita to go to prison for the rest of her life. Even if she does, it still won't be enough, nothing can replace you or even be justice enough compared to losing you. Oh God how I miss you!!! No one can ever know how much this hurts my heart, being without you, I Love You so much.”

  February 18 at 3:12pm

  “Another month has come and gone, it’s been seven months now since you were taken from us. I miss you so much!! When Jason gives me a hug, he makes it extra-long, so I can just feel like I am getting one from you. He misses you so much too. We all do!!! It hurts so much, But I know you are watching over us from Heaven and some day we will be together again. I Love You So Much”

  March 13 at 3:28pm

  “I don't know what it is about today, but I have a pain deep down in my heart, and I just want to cry all the time. I miss you so much it's hard to explain. I know you are watching over me, but I hurt so bad.”

  March 18 at 6:50pm

  “Well my dear son, it has been another month since we lost you. I think about you all of the time, and miss you so much. Hopefully in the next month we will have some sort of justice in the loss of you. I hope Chiquita has to spend many, many years in prison. I much rather have you back though. I know it is not possible, but we will see each other in Heaven and then I want the biggest hug you can give me. I Love You So Much.”

  April 18 at 11:41am

  “Yesterday I made the big mistake of reading the Jeffrey Dryden Murder on the internet (the beginning of this book). It made it seem like I just lost you yesterday. I cried myself to sleep and I still can't stop crying today. I Love and Miss you so much. How am I going to get through the trial in May? It hurts so much, a Mother is NOT supposed to lose a child to such a tragic, senseless, death. I am so pissed off at Chiquita right now that I want to kill her myself. It has been nine months ago today since you were taken from us and we all miss you so, so much. I think of you every minute of the day and talk to you every night before I go to sleep. I love you my sweet son.”

  May 2 at 12:01pm

  “I am so sorry Honey, We have to wait again for any Justice. It has been delayed again until June 20. The new defense attorney asked for this to further their investigation.”

  May 8 at 11:21am

  “I miss you so much, especially today, being Mother’s Day. I got out the card you gave me last year for Mother’s Day, and just reading it and you signing it I LOVE YOU MOM means so much to me. I will keep that card forev
er. I Love and miss you so, so much”

  May 15 at 12:32pm

  “Happy Birthday Jeff, my love, my son. It just isn't right, we always celebrate Jason and your birthday together. This is the first time that you won't be here when we have cake and ice cream and that just is not right. I feel like my life is just not right anymore without you here with us. I Love and miss you so much Honey, no one will ever know how much.”

  May 21 at 9:00am

  “Another month has come, now we are at 10 months without you. At least this month Chiquita has finally come to her senses and is going to admit that she killed you. When she finally gets sentenced, we are going to celebrate for you. We all love and miss you so much, and think of you always. I LOVE YOU MOM”

  May 22 at 4:41pm

  “Tomorrow is the day we finally get to hear those words GUILTY!!! I Love You Honey!!!!”

  May 23 at 515pm

  “It was a very nerve wracking day at court. First, she decided she didn't want to take the plea, so I was heartbroken. Then once she found out she would have to pay for another lawyer she took the no contest plea. Either way, we don't have to go to trial, and that makes me happy.”