It was nice being in his bubble of comfort for the weekend, and as much as I wanted to stay right there, I knew we both had to get back to reality.
I’d had a small dose of reality on Sunday when Jase convinced me to let him involve the police, and I’d spent an hour recounting what had happened with Carter and Owen. I’d been hesitant to talk about everything, but Jase had stayed with me while I spoke to the officers, and in the end, it had actually felt good to see them recording what I’d been through. I knew they couldn’t charge Carter with anything, but at the very least, there was a report on file.
For the rest of the weekend, Jase and I had relaxed and watched movies and ordered in food. Considering everything, it ended up being one of the best weekends I’d had in a while.
Jase’s car service dropped me off at my dorm before they took him to the airport, and I was sure both of us felt the awkwardness that loomed over us as we said goodbye. All weekend, we hadn’t done more than hug or hold hands, and he’d even tried to sleep in the guest bedroom, but I hadn’t wanted to be alone, so I’d convinced him to sleep in his bed with me.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure if he was keeping his distance because he was guarded against getting back into a relationship with me or if he was giving me space after what had happened. It wasn’t like I was ready to jump back into anything physical, but on the flip side, I wasn’t exactly sure if we were friends or more than friends, and I kind of wanted to know.
“I’ll call you tonight,” he promised. “Just to be sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I assured him for the fiftieth time.
He smiled his secret smile at me. “I know you are. But I’m going to call you anyway, and I’m going to ask if you’re okay, so humor me, alright?”
I smiled. That was probably the best thing he could have said in that moment. He’d been so sweet all weekend. I reached out to hug him, squeezing him tight and inhaling his familiar and welcoming scent. I didn’t want him to go. I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, just to the left of his mouth.
“I’ll miss you,” I said, before I realized I was saying it and quickly hopped out of the car.
I was afraid of his response, so I didn’t wait for it. Hell, for all I knew, he was seeing someone else. We’d been apart for a month. It was completely plausible.
“Hey Logan,” Scott Deevers, a guy in my psychology class, called out as he walked up to me. “Nice car.”
He hugged me hello, and it felt foreign after hugging Jase all weekend.
“It’s my friend’s car,” I said, waving at the blackened window of the Mercedes sedan as the car started to drive away. I couldn’t see Jase, but I knew he was watching me.
“You have friends in high places,” Scott commented.
I just shrugged, not wanting to get into the details of who my ‘friend’ was. “Hey, give me a minute to grab my stuff, and I’ll walk with you to class,” I suggested.
“I’ll be here,” he said, grinning at me.
***
As I was walking back to my dorm later that day, my phone rang, and I picked it up without looking, thinking it was Ethan. Just like Jase, he’d been more overprotective than usual since Friday night, so I figured he was calling to check on me. Or he was going to ask me to pick up tacos. I’d just talked to him before class and was heading over to his place to do some afternoon surfing with him as soon as I could get back to my room and change. He knew I was fine, so my bet was on the tacos.
“Hey,” I said into my phone, as I hiked my backpack higher on my shoulder.
“Hello, sweetheart,” came my mother’s voice, and I almost groaned out loud but caught myself in time.
“Oh, Mom, hey,” I said, trying not to sound annoyed. “How’s Ireland?”
“It’s gray and cold and depressing.”
Geez, she was such a brat. She couldn’t appreciate anything that wasn’t the sunshine and glam of L.A. My dad and I had gone to England and Ireland over Spring Break during my junior year of high school, and sure it had been the things she’d said, but I hadn’t cared. I’d loved the culture and the atmosphere and the accents so much, and the cold, gray weather had been a part of that.
I wanted to ask her if she’d kissed the Blarney Stone or even gone hiking through the countryside, but I knew it was a ridiculous notion. I knew she’d filmed when she had to and then retired to her hotel where she rotated through different pampering treatments and worked out with her trainer. I’d be shocked if she’d even gone shopping at any point during her trip.
“Oh, well, that sucks,” I said, knowing it was what she’d want me to say
“Yes, I find the Irish to be a mundane group of people.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sorry about that.”
“What are you apologizing for,” she questioned. “You’re not Irish.”
“No, I’m not,” I agreed. “Why are you calling, Mom?”
“I miss you, Logan,” she said, as if it was obvious. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”
I knew she’d probably read some magazine article about being a good mother, or read that some celebrity credited her mother as her hero, and she was feeling guilty for neglecting her offspring. It happened a few times a year. Her maternal instincts, as limited as they were, would kick in and she would want to take Skylar and me away for a weekend to bond with us or insist on getting mother-daughter mani-pedis.
“Well, I miss you too,” I said flatly, almost mockingly, but not quite. I held back enough that it wouldn’t be obvious.
“That’s good, baby. Listen, I have to run. I have to meet with Oscar, but I’ll be home on Saturday, and I’d like you come for dinner. You don’t have plans, do you?”
Not anymore. Knowing my mother wouldn’t take no for an answer, I mentally cancelled any plans I hoped to have with Jase who’d be back in town by then. That is if he wanted to make plans with me. I wasn’t sure. We hadn’t talked since Monday night.
“Oh, good,” she gushed. “I can’t wait to see you and your sister. Call her and tell her you’ll be there. See you soon. Big kiss.”
With that she was gone, off to talk to Oscar, whoever the hell he was. She always did that – spoke of people she knew as if the whole world was on a first name basis with them too.
I shook my head and dialed my sister’s cell number.
“Hello,” she answered, more perky and bouncy than I’d ever heard her.
“Hey Sky, it’s me.”
“Oh, hey Lo Lo,” she said, her tone dropping a few inches below normal.
I’d talked to her a few times since our mom had been gone and we’d gone out to lunch once. I figured it was my responsibility to provide some familial stability while our mother was halfway across the world and not checking in nearly as often as she should have been. Although, I always felt better about Skylar’s well-being when she stayed with her dad, so she was probably better off without our mother. Luiz was a great father, and he kept her in line. She was much less spoiled and bratty when under his roof.
“It’s nice to talk to you too,” I said sarcastically.
She sighed audibly. “I was hoping you were Finn Foster,” she said, sounding despondent.
“I thought you liked Vincent Tomasi?” I asked, unable to keep up with my sister’s active dating life, except she didn’t exactly date. She just decided a boy was her boyfriend, and that was it. They held hands at school, texted, and face-timed, and then they broke up a week later.
“That was last week,” she grumbled. “Now I like Finn, and he was supposed to call me when he got out of water polo practice, but he hasn’t, and I’m afraid Jocelyn Lystic got to him first, because she likes him too, but he likes me more – he said so – but Jocelyn has boobs, so he might like her more now. Katy Patterson told me he likes girls with boobs, and then Bryson Greenberg told me that Finn was looking at Jocelyn’s boobs today at lunch, because she had this low cut top on that was so super-slutty, but yesterday, Katy said he was checking out my butt, so I
don’t know what to think, and I really hope he calls me.”
She sighed, and I realized I was completely lost. I had no idea who any of the people she was talking about were.
“I’m sure he’ll call,” I assured her, so not sure that he would, but this was not a conversation I was comfortable having. My sister was twelve. Guys should not be checking out her butt! “But if he doesn’t call, there are other guys, and you have a lifetime of dating ahead of you. You’ll be fine.”
She breathed a puff of air out through her nose. “I suppose. So are you dating anyone right now? Did you sleep with Ethan yet?”
“Hey! You should not talk like that. I told you to quit watching Sex and the City.”
My little talk with Skylar a few weeks before had been highly effective – or so I’d thought.
“I did, but we watched a video about sex in fifth grade, and last year Mom had ‘the talk’ with me. Besides, most of my friends have already been fingered by a guy, and Katy gives her boyfriend blowjobs all the time.”
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
Okay, seriously. I did not know that much about boys when I was her age, and I sure as hell wasn’t as flippant about sex as she was. What the hell was a twelve year old doing giving blow jobs?! I might have to talk to Luiz about this, see if he could make sure Sky didn’t get caught up in things I felt, and I knew he’d feel, were way beyond what she should be doing at her age. And she definitely didn’t need to be friends with that Katy girl.
“Jesus, Sky.”
“What? It’s true. And you didn’t answer my question.”
I gritted my teeth. “No, I have not slept with Ethan, nor do I plan to.”
“So do you have a boyfriend?”
I paused, not sure what to say. “I don’t know,” I finally said.
“What do you mean you don’t know? Either you have a boyfriend or you don’t.”
“Shut up, Skylar,” I said, resorting to probably the most childish comeback I could find.
She just laughed.
“Anyway,” I said, shaking my head to clear it, as I opened the door to my dorm and started to hike up the stairs. My voice was echoing in the vast space. “Mom called. She’s back on Saturday and wants to have dinner.”
“I know,” Skylar said, sounding bored.
“How do you know?”
Hadn’t my mom just asked me to tell her?
“She called Dad last night to invite him over. I think she’s trying to get back together with him again.”
Oh crap.
My mom had tried that before. It was another cyclical thing for her to realize she missed Luiz and try to win him back. When Skylar was little, she’d get so excited, because her dad was coming around again, but it only ever lasted a few weeks before they would start fighting and Luiz would start yelling things in Portuguese and storm out. Then my mom would be depressed for exactly two days, Skylar would be devastated and call me in tears because she’d been let down by her parents yet again, and then everything would return to normal.
Thankfully as Skylar had gotten older, she knew to only get marginally excited about her dad coming around again since it was probably fleeting. She knew it was fruitless to think it might work each time, so she relished the time she had with her parents under one roof and let it go when it ended.
“Is he coming to dinner?”
“No, she’s coming here,” Skylar said. “She called, and he got all excited. I know he’s still in love with her, and each time she does this, he gets his hopes up that she’s a different person, but I know he’ll realize soon enough that she’s not. Whatever. So is your sort of boyfriend coming to dinner too?”
“Huh?”
“You should invite your boyfriend to dinner.”
“No, Sky, that’s not what I was asking about. What do you mean she’s going to your dad’s house?”
“Well, she invited him to dinner, but he was already having some people over, so he invited her, and she said yes.”
Uh, was she going to tell me dinner was at Luiz’s house and not hers? Geez, she was such a flake.
“So dinner isn’t at home?”
“No! Logan, aren’t you listening? Dinner is here at eight. Bring your boyfriend, and drive your own car since you know mom is going to spend the night.”
Gross. I didn’t need to know that, and neither did she.
“He is not necessarily my boyfriend.”
“Well, if you figure it out before Saturday, bring him. Ooh, gotta go. Finn’s calling,” she squealed before she promptly hung up on me.
Oh good Lord, my family was screwed up.
-20-
“You’re late,” Skylar hissed when she greeted me at the front door of Luiz’s mansion in Bel Air on Saturday night. “But you look hot!”
I’d gone shopping with Henley that afternoon to try to find something to wear to Luiz’s that night and had ended up with a navy blue sweater dress that actually gave me some curves. I’d wanted to pair it with flats, but Henley insisted I buy taupe suede ankle boots with a wedge heel, so I’d complied. She’d lent me some funky jewelry to wear to top off the look.
I knew there’s be a ton of industry people there, since whenever he hosted dinner parties, Luiz invited his producer friends and actors he was trying to woo. I wanted to look nice, but more than that, I was sort of hoping Jase would call and ask me to do something later.
We’d talked only once while he’d been in London, but he’d made a passing comment about hanging out when he was back in town and mentioned that he’d be back on Saturday, so I wasn’t sure if that meant he might call me that night to do something. I knew most girls would tell you not to accept a last minute date, but I just didn’t care. If Jase called, I was going to see him.
“You will never guess who’s here,” Skylar hissed.
“Who?” I asked, finding it funny that she still got star-struck.
She’d grown up around industry people and movie stars all her life. Why did she find them fascinating? Okay, fine, from the girl who religiously poured over Celebrity Weekly as soon as it arrived, I realize that was a little hypocritical, but I never acted star-struck. I kept it all in my head, and even though I’d met my share of movie stars, it was still pretty freaking cool to spend time with a true Hollywood A-Lister.
“Your boyfriend, Jason Brady,” Sky said mockingly, her eyes gleaming, and I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach before a warm sensation pooled in my belly.
I couldn’t help the goofy grin that appeared on my face, as I realized I’d get to see Jase after all. How did he know I’d even be there? Did he know Luiz?
“He is not my boyfriend,” I told my grinning little sister. “And his name is Jase.”
She’d seen the picture of us online, and had confronted me about it, but at the time Jase and I were over, so I’d told her we were just friends. I didn’t feel the need to elaborate. I think she’d truly hoped Jase and I were a couple, and I’d just been lying to her. The look on her face sure indicated that.
Skylar laughed. “But you wish he was your boyfriend! You have crush on Jason Brady,” she hissed, pointing and laughing at me.
“No, I don’t,” I said, but I could barely contain my smile.
She rolled her eyes. “You totally do. But sorry, he’s here with a date.”
And the bottom dropped out yet again.
“Excuse me?” I asked, my eyebrows rising involuntarily.
“He’s here with Ellie Carlisle,” she shared, and I tasted vomit in my mouth.
Ellie Carlisle was a pop star who’d broken out of the Disney mold and was slowly making a name for herself. She’d recently been in the tabloids after debuting her new look at the Grammys, just in time for the release of her first independent album. There’d been a huge amount of media buzz when the cute, bubbly teenager had shown up in a sleek dress with cutouts along the bodice and sophisticated, sexy hair and make-up. She’d become a sex symbol overnight, and she was the kind of girl you
really wanted to hate – especially when the guy you liked was dating her. Bitch.
Oops, where did that come from?
“Whatever,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “I’m not interested in him.”
I didn’t sound the least bit convincing. When had he started seeing her? Had they been together last weekend when I’d stayed with him and slept next to him in his bed? Had she’d known I was there? What did he tell her, that we were just friends?
Skylar giggled. “You like Jase. You like Jase,” she taunted, dancing around the foyer.
“Shut up, Sky,” I hissed, shoving her as I walked by.
There was only one way I was going to get through the night in one piece, and that was to hold my shoulders back, keep my head high and pretend my stomach wasn’t eating itself from the inside out – well, that and to drink copious amounts of alcohol.
I entered the great room, my eyes darting around as discreetly as possible, trying to locate Jase, so I could ignore him. Then I needed to locate the bar.
“Logan,” Luiz called out, spotting me from across the room, his accent curling around my name. I noticed my mother was attached to his arm, and when he crossed the room to greet me, she came with him.
“Hi Luiz,” I said, giving him a big hug. “Hey Mom.”
“Logan,” she said, looking pleased, “you look very pretty tonight.”
Geez, that was a high compliment coming from her. But of course she was pleased, I was dressed in something she would have picked out for me, and she was loving it.
Just as she was air-kissing me, careful not to smudge her perfect make-up, I glanced over by the fireplace and spotted Jase with his arm around Ellie Carlisle. As soon as his eyes met mine, they went wide, and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline. He was not expecting to see me there. That was for darn sure. I glanced coldly at him for a few seconds before diverting my attention back to my family.
Ignore, ignore, ignore. That was the game I was playing.
I scanned the room to see who else was present and recognized some people I’d met over the years, some industry people I knew, and some actors Luiz was friends with.
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