These were not voices that could be silenced. Dillon lifted the guitar from the corner, slung it onto his back, and headed out the door. He called good-bye to his mom and told her he was going to his dad’s place. Before she could say a word, he closed the front door behind him. He had to talk to someone and he felt like only his dad would understand.
Dillon wasn’t the only person avoiding someone. Danny knew full well that Dillon was calling him the night before, but he just didn’t know if he was ready to face him yet. Danny was still at his parent’s farm because he just couldn’t bring himself to leave. It was as though he wanted some kind of confirmation that all of the pain from the past really was over. He watched his mom with a colt she called Rocky and thought about how his mom could train a horse without ever really breaking its spirit. It was as though she had a sixth sense and understood the fine line between defensiveness and defiance. Sara knew how to handle Clint too. Defense and defiance made Danny think about his dad. Danny found himself wandering back into the barn. He went back to the caretaker’s apartment. Most of his parents’ stuff was cleared out of it now, but there was an old shoebox lying open at the foot of the bed. At the top of the pile of pictures and letters in the shoebox was the picture that changed everything. When Danny saw it, he wanted to scream. Then his dad came into the room. His father noticed the open box, shrugged his shoulders and put the box away again in the back of the tack closet.
After Clint left the room, Danny walked over to the closet, reached inside, and pulled out the box. He put it down on the desk and opened the lid. The box wasn’t at all dusty or even old looking. Danny thought it was the kind of thing that looked like it was important to someone—treasured, but very private. Danny removed the envelope and spilled the contents onto the desk. There was the tattered photograph. The picture was out of focus and grainy, but the people were still easy to recognize.
It was Danny’s dad, Clint, with another family. They were all lined up outside a decrepit looking truck, and judging from the scared expressions and worn-out clothes, these people had already travelled a long way. Danny didn’t recognize most of them, but there was no escaping the fact that the people still seemed eerily familiar. The older lady in the picture held twins. They looked like they were only a few days old. Danny didn’t know how he knew, he only knew that he did: that baby looked just like him. Come to think of it, Danny was sure the other baby in the woman’s arms looked pretty darn familiar too.
Danny hated it, but he knew what the picture was for. Smugglers in Afghanistan did the same thing. It was an illegal inventory, like a bill of lading for human cargo. His dad must have been driving these people over the border. Searching for a better life, they often sold everything they had just to buy the passage from a coyote. Then they were smuggled across the border and treated like cattle. Danny was disgusted. How could this be his dad, and how could Danny be in the picture too? Danny knew the answer, but he still could hardly accept it.
Danny looked at the picture again. He wanted so much to find the truth, but he didn’t want to see this truth. He was working to convince himself that all babies look alike and that these twins could be anyone, and then he saw what he knew he could never deny. One of the babies had his foot dangling from the blanket, and there it was, the same damn birthmark that Danny knew so well. He lifted the cuff of his jeans and there it was. All through middle school, he refused to wear shorts because of it—no small feat in Tennessee in July. The same heart-shaped birthmark on the baby’s leg was still right above Danny’s ankle. So many hours of his childhood were spent trying to turn that thing into anything else. Once he even tried to convince the kids that it was a tattoo, because naturally, lots of ten-year-old boys sported heart shaped tattoos.
That baby in the picture was definitely Danny and there was only one reason he was in that poor woman’s arms: he was with her. The twin? Danny just knew it was Dillon. How the hell could this be? There were eleven years between them. How could they be twins? Unless time travel wasn’t as new to them as they originally thought. What if someone brought Dillon back eleven years later than Danny? Then they really could be twins who grew up eleven years apart. Even if it is true, what does it matter now? Now Danny had a headache, which was weird because up until that moment, there had never been any physical pain where he was.
Danny could not reconcile the daddy he grew up with, with some money-hungry coyote smuggling people over the border. He had to find out what was going on. There must be more to this. The problem was how? Was this the reason Dillon was time travelling? Was this what caused the space-time continuum to fold itself? Danny heard his dad’s footsteps again and he stood up. He thought about putting the box and its contents away, but he didn’t do it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Danny demanded as Clint lumbered into the room. “I had a right to know. Were you ever going to tell me?” Before he could stop himself, Danny was on a rampage.
“How could you just walk away? What kind of a man are you? You were always preaching at me about doing the right thing and here you are nothing but a hypocrite!”
Danny was so angry that the light in the room began to flicker. Clint checked the switch, shrugged, and walked out again. Danny tried to calm down as he watched his dad walk across the field.
“I guess some things just never change,” Danny sighed. “Dead or alive, what I think just doesn’t matter much.”
Ryan was finishing his fifth mile and his building was finally in sight. He loved to run, but at a moment like this, he loved the fact that he was almost done, even more. All he could think about was the nice hot shower waiting for him at the end of the block. When he got home, he was surprised to find Dillon sitting at his front door.
“Hey buddy, I didn’t expect to see you today. How’s it going?”
Dillon stood up and looked him in the eye. “I need your help.” Ryan nodded, opened the door and they went inside. So much for a nice, hot shower, Ryan thought as they went inside.
“Dad, I saw something the other night that I wish I’d never seen. I know I made a deal with everyone to let you know whenever I have a nightmare or time travel or whatever the heck it is that I do, but this time I’m not sure that I can.”
Ryan handed his son a bottle of water and they both sat down on the couch.
“The other night it happened again,” Dillon continued. “There was a lot to it and I can tell you the details later, but what was most important happened at the end and if it’s okay with you, I’d like to start there.”
Ryan agreed and Dillon began. It was really hard for Dillon to tell his father what he had seen that night, and it was even harder for his dad to hear it. Ryan closed his eyes and held his head in his hands.
Ryan had long suspected that Maggie couldn’t cope when Joe died, but he never imagined that she was completely broken. Now that he knew, things that he never understood began to make sense for the first time. He thought they split because she was tired of him, but now Ryan realized that she didn’t grow tired of him; she had grown tired of life.
If he hadn’t been so self-absorbed and insecure, maybe he could have helped her, or at the very least, maybe he could have known what was going on, but he was too busy fighting his own demons. He wanted to leave New York and he blamed it on 9/11, but that wasn’t the only reason. He wanted to go somewhere where they could be an ordinary family. Somewhere far away, where what Maggie had done couldn’t catch up with them.
At first Ryan believed her story about Dillon being the child of Joe’s friends, but the lawyer in him compelled him to research. There was no record of an accident, let alone two fatalities. Ryan didn’t know how Maggie did it and Joe would never tell, but Ryan was convinced it was way outside of the law. By the time he faced that reality, he had grown too attached to Dillon to care. When 9/11 happened, Ryan took it as a wake-up call. Nothing was protected: not New York and not his family. When Maggie refused to leave, it never occurred to him that she didn’t want to leave the city Joe h
ad died trying to protect. Ryan had convinced himself that she just didn’t want to leave with him.
October 30, 2011
Everyone gathered at Maggie’s place. Dillon and his dad had come over earlier that day and told Maggie everything. Ryan was determined that what and how much they shared with the rest of the group had to be Maggie’s decision. If she wanted her heartbreak kept out of it, that would be just fine with him. But her response surprised them both. She was not only open to sharing the whole story, she insisted on it.
“It’s true, I went through a really bad time after Joe died. It was hard for me, some days it still is hard, but the one thing I’ve learned for sure is that life is too precious to do anything less than the best we can. We need to tell the whole story if we’re going to figure out what’s happening to you, Dillon. Your safety is more important to me than my privacy. I’m sorry you had to see that, and I don’t understand why you did, but let’s keep going.”
After Dillon told everyone about his episode in the cemetery, everyone sat around Maggie’s living room overwhelmed and a little exhausted. Maggie had gone out of her way to make sure everybody understood that her event was only a part of the story, and now they were all trying to figure out what it could mean. Danny slipped in just in time to hear the worst of it, and he just sat there quietly and listened. Thomas took out a new piece of notepaper and began to put down all the words that had come through so far.
“Remember, Death, Honor, Living, Tell, the Truth shall set you free.” Thomas stared at the paper and then a smile began to play around his lips. He looked at Dillon and said, “You know what? I think our little experiment with string theory is finally making some progress. Kind of like that tunnel you were in. You got hurt at first and I know going forward was difficult, but now we may be in a place with some rich soil where things can grow. What I’m saying is, we already have a coherent message: Remember death and honor the living. That, right there, is significant. Joe or God or someone is telling us two things. Number one, we should never forget those who went before us, because by remembering the dead we’re showing gratitude and understanding that life is precious and finite. Number two, you can also interpret it to mean that we should remember that death, or those who have gone before us, are still here, close to the living.” When he said that, Thomas looked directly at Maggie.
“Then take the second part. Tell and the Truth shall set you free. Secrets constrict us. There is a lot of energy wasted in keeping a secret, and maybe there is something that is important enough right now in this world that Joe and Danny had to cross dimensions to tell us.”
Dillon looked across the room at Danny, but Danny just looked away. Uncle Joe only showed up in dreams so there was no talking to him. As far as Dillon knew, Danny was as confused as he was about why he was there.
Everyone sat quietly mulling over Thomas’ words. Ryan could hardly think straight, so he got up to stretch his legs. He picked up the newspaper and let out a wail. “What the hell is this?!”
The headline of the Wall Street World said it all: Michael McIntyre to Develop Alternative Energy Source. He was quoted as saying, “Fossil fuels are literally dead and the best way to honor our living world is to tell the whole truth about how fossil fuels are destroying the environment. My company can develop a living energy that will finally set us free.” When Ryan finished reading it aloud, he looked more ghostly than Danny.
Dillon could hardly believe his ears. “There is no way that can be a coincidence, but what does dad’s client have to do with this?”
Later that night, back in Dillon’s room, Danny reappeared. This time it was Danny who picked up the guitar and started to play. Dillon put his head back and closed his eyes and just listened to the music.
“That’s really nice,” Dillon said. “What is that you’re playing?”
Danny smiled and explained it was an old song called "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?" Danny told him it was a song about being together, in this life and in the next.
Dillon smirked. “Sort of a string theory lullaby, I guess.” Danny raised his eyebrow but went right on singing:
Will the circle be unbroken? By and by, Lord, by and by.
There’s a better home awaitin’, in the sky, Lord, in the sky.
October 31, 2011
Dillon woke to his phone vibrating across his nightstand. He lifted it and smiled when he saw the text from Marie.
“Happy Halloween :)”
Dillon texted back; “U 2 :)”
Dillon couldn’t wait to get to school. Even for a Monday, today was starting off just fine. Dillon showered and dressed quickly, but he left the best parts of his costume in his room, and then he headed for the kitchen. His mom was home today, and the smell of pumpkin pancakes filled the house. Maggie seemed more relaxed than Dillon had seen her in a long time.
“Don’t put your costume on until after you eat; I don’t want you getting syrup on it,” Maggie chided Dillon as she placed a plate of pancakes under his nose. The butter melted on top of the stack of pancakes, and Dillon barely waited until he had sat down before he shoved the first forkful into his mouth. No doubt about it, for a Monday this was awesome. Ten minutes later the pancakes were history and so was Dillon as he dashed to his room to finish getting ready for school. In Danny’s honor, Dillon was dressing up like a cowboy, and when he came out of his room and Maggie saw him, the dish she was holding went crashing to the floor. “Sorry I startled you, Mom. Don’t you like my costume?”
Maggie got on her knees and began cleaning up the shattered dish.
“Yeah, sure, Hon. It’s fine. You make a great cowboy,” Maggie stuttered, desperately trying to compose herself before Dillon noticed that she was trembling. “Have fun at school today. Say hi to Tom and Marie for me.”
A moment later Dillon slammed the door and Maggie sat back on her knees and wiped off the beads of sweat that spread across her brow. She may have shared one secret, but she had no interest in telling any others. Maggie took a deep breath and made her decision; for the first time in her life, she tried to reach out across the great divide and speak to her brother.
“Joe? What are you up to? A cowboy? Seriously! Stop it! Leave Dillon out of it! Whatever you want, deal with me, not my son!”
It was the first time she said aloud what had been lurking in her heart. Maggie loved Joe with all her heart, and when he died it had all but shattered her. She wanted to believe it was Danny haunting Dillon, but Danny seemed as frustrated and confused as everyone else. How could the brother who made her feel so safe become the brother haunting her son? Why was he revealing her secrets? Why involve Danny, and when would it all stop?
Maggie couldn’t see him, but Joe was right beside her, kneeling on the floor. She had no way of knowing it, but he even moved the edge of the broken plate away from her hand when she leaned on the counter to get up. Joe tried to talk to her as he had tried to talk to her at least a thousand times before. This was something too important for her to neglect, but something she seemed determined to ignore. Joe had to find a way to get his sister to talk about it, but he couldn’t. He hated to do it this way, but Joe had no choice now but to go on. There was no doubt about it; the stakes were way too high to stop. This wasn’t just about Maggie anymore. If she didn’t tell Dillon the whole story soon, Dillon and Danny could both be lost.
Halloween in Franklin, Tennessee, was a magical time with a Pumpkin Festival on Main Street and Haunted Hayrides too. This would be the first time in a long time that the Charles Farm would welcome guests for Halloween. Sara was humming as she hung the orange lights around the barn doors and put a fake raven up on the hay hook outside the loft. It would be strange to celebrate without Danny, but Sara needn’t have worried. He was right there beside her.
Meanwhile, back in New York, Dillon and Marie walked along West 57th Street after school and stopped at the Mackenzie Brown shop. Marie looked in the window and her eyes lit up.
“This is the coolest store. I want
to get a job here after school, but I’m nervous about asking.”
Dillon stood beside her and leaned against the glass. He could see her face in the reflection and he was mesmerized. He pretended to study the pottery in the window, just so he could look at her and deal with his own nerves. He spent the last three blocks trying to figure out how to grab her hand in a casual way. It should be no big deal, because it’s not as though they had never held hands before, but the longer he waited, the scarier it became.
“Do you like me? You know, as in like me?” Marie wanted to know.
Without meeting her eyes Dillon mumbled, “You know I do.”
Marie smiled and took both of Dillon’s hands in her own. Now he had no choice but to look her in the eye and that was just fine with him. Marie was beautiful. She was dressed as a princess for Halloween, and her tiara sparkled in the window lights. Dillon was lost in her eyes when she reached up and kissed him. It was a warm, wet kiss and he felt it right down to his toes. Before he could speak, she laughed and they were off again on their way home. Of all the Halloween treats Dillon ever got, Marie’s kiss was by far the most wonderful.
November 3, 2011
Thomas was in unfamiliar surroundings. In fact, he was ashamed to admit it, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had ventured across campus to the English department. He felt more comfortable where everyone had the decency to wear a lab coat and where there was plenty of stainless steel. Here in the English Literature wing of Lewis Hall, Thomas was downright uncomfortable. He felt like he was walking back in time as he passed through the hallowed halls of oak-paneled offices with old-fashioned books everywhere. It was hard to believe the piles of books stacked all over his colleague’s office. Had these people totally missed the invention of the e-readers and tablets? Thomas couldn’t help but think of the dust mites that had to be all over the place.
PLAY ON Page 12