Meghan nods, looking over at him. His troubled face is the first she’s seen of him. Her heart melts a bit as she grasps the event, feeling for Jared and the drama he endured.
“It’s okay,” she whispers. Meghan turns onto the road that leads up the mountain.
“Where are you taking us?” he asks, looking out his window in awe.
“Burnaby Mountain. Wait until you see the view,” she reassures with a smile.
“I remember Luke like it was yesterday. I ran into the water, dove in, and swam as fast as I could. Corey had Luke with one arm trying to keep his face upright. He was unconscious.” Jared scratches his temple. “I got into the boat and pulled Luke in. A man and his son came by on their boat and called nine-one-one. We got to shore and by then there was a crowd forming. I was yelling at Luke to hang in there. I was useless.” He shakes his head. “There was nothing I could do. The paramedics came. . . .”
Meghan parks her car on the mountain in line with other cars. She turns off the ignition and they stare straight ahead at the sky. There is a haze, but the stars are visible and bright. The ground is clear and the air is crisp.
Meghan takes off her seat belt and turns her body so that she is facing him. “I’m sorry.”
“Luke died.” Jared’s face tightens. His eyes are glossy and he clutches his jaw.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” she says, searching for his eyes, but he doesn’t look at her. His focus is out the window. “That’s a horrible thing to go through and to lose someone so close . . .”
“He was the brother I never had.”
“How did he die?” she asks.
“I was told that Luke stood up to grab a drink from the cooler, he wasn’t wearing a life jacket, neither was Corey. I don’t know why they thought they didn’t need to . . . out on the lake . . . Luke lost his balance and hit his head on the bow. He had concussions playing hockey. The doctor said after having two, the chances are greater of having another.”
He takes off his seat belt and stretches his legs.
“Do you want to get out and walk?” she asks.
“No, you don’t have a jacket.”
“Right. Are you comfortable enough?”
“I’m okay. It’s quite a view,” he says, admiring the unobstructed scenery. “Do you come here often?”
“I don’t, but I figured it would be a good place to talk without getting hounded.”
“I think we’re safe here,” he says. “Thanks for listening. It’s hard to forget.”
“That’s a dramatic time of your life.”
“I thought by now, ten years later, that I wouldn’t think about it as often as I do.”
“I’m sure you won’t forget. How could you? It’s a dramatic event.”
“I think about Luke all the time and feel guilty . . .”
“For what?”
“Living his dream.”
“Aren’t you living yours?”
“Luke wanted it so bad. He had his eye on being drafted by Pittsburgh. The year he died, he was prepared to play one more season of junior but he was already scouted and teams were talking. I have no doubt he would have been drafted that year. He was good.”
“So are you,” Meghan says. “You wouldn’t be where you are if you weren’t.”
“I love the game.”
“It shows.”
“Ah.”
“Seriously.” She reaches out and puts her hand down. She was going to touch his leg, but the way she is sitting, she can’t reach. “Thank you for sharing Luke with me. I’m sure he’s proud of you.”
“My pregame ritual we talked about . . . I think of him every time. He never got a chance to play in the NHL. It sounds dumb, but if I do things for him, it relieves my conscience of that day at the lake.”
“I don’t understand. Why would you feel guilty? Is that it?”
“If only I was in the boat . . . I could have gone, but didn’t feel like fishing. I could have grabbed him before he fell—”
“You don’t know that. There are a million what-ifs you can tell yourself, but accidents are accidents and unfortunately as guilty or heartbroken as we may be, tragedy happens and it sucks because it’s out of our control.”
“We were so close. We were like brothers, best friends. I knew what he would say before he said it, or what his next move was, you know? And if I was in the boat, I would have passed the soda . . . he would have had a life jacket on.”
“You don’t have to put this pressure on yourself. You can remember Luke for all the times you shared together. Remembering his death will only put a strain on you and not help you heal. Wouldn’t Luke want you to be happy and live your best life? Anyone who cares enough would want to see that person succeed and be happy. It’s not fair to live your life with this guilt. I’m sorry you feel this way. It’s not your fault for what happened, right?”
She waits for him to acknowledge her with a nod and make eye contact.
“I never thought I would tell you this.”
“About Luke?”
“Sorry to put a damper on your night.”
“You didn’t.” She grins at him. Her heart swells for him. She wants to wrap her arms around him and tell him he can tell her anything. She likes him enough to not want to let him go yet a part of her knows this is only the beginning of either a relationship or an end. She still doesn’t know where she stands. Earlier that night she would have guessed that he was using her for his convenience; now, she’s guessing it might be the start of a friendship.
“Tell me, what was Luke like?”
“He was great. A good guy.” A wide grin appears on Jared’s face. “He was willing to help just about anyone. He coached summer hockey camps, volunteered his time with various activities, and wasn’t afraid to show his affection.”
“Did he have a girlfriend?”
“Not at the time.”
“What do you think Luke would say about me?” she asks.
“He would have liked you,” Jared says, smiling, and moving a little closer.
“So you’re saying I would get his approval?”
“Maybe.”
“What?” she teases. “Just a maybe?”
Jared brings himself to her. “He would have liked you a lot.”
“Hmmm . . . and what do you think of me?” she asks, feeling bolder. She needs to know where she stands with him. It’s only fair.
“I like you,” he says.
“You’re a tough sell.”
“Am I? I slept with you, didn’t I?”
“Don’t you do that to all the girls?” she asks, hating herself for asking, thinking about him and Lauren. She’s dying to ask more about them. She really doesn’t want to know the answer, especially falling for a guy and knowing about his colorful past. Isn’t that what Keri told her? He has a way with women and enjoys the single life?
Jared pulls away. “I don’t do that to all the girls.”
“Okay.” She buttons her lips, thinking she’s said enough. It’s hard to get past the idea of what those lustful lips of his have tasted like.
He eyes her with skepticism. “I’ve never had anyone like you.” His hand touches her arm, giving her goose bumps. “I like you,” he murmurs. “I don’t know where this is going, but I like it.”
She swallows. Does he compare her with other women? Or does she stand alone?
Jared brings his hand to her face, cupping it and slowly drawing his lips to hers. He is gentle and soothing, yet there is something deeper that’s felt. The kiss means something to Meghan. It’s a step in a new direction. Perhaps he feels it too because he sweeps her hair away from her face, tugs her mouth with his before letting go. They are a breath away. Meghan’s body is vibrating from the emotion that has come over her. This is where she belongs. This is who she wants to be with. How can she make him see that he means more to her than what he probably thinks? She doesn’t want to fall into that category of every other woman he’s been with. Did any of them feel this str
ongly about him? Probably so. The only thing that will help him understand is time together.
“I’m going to be away for Christmas,” he says, letting his hands fall to his side.
“Oh. Right. I guess so.”
“Yeah. Jane’s having dinner. I’ll be gone for a few days, then I’m on the road.”
Meghan’s stomach sinks.
“That will be nice for you and your family,” she says. Doesn’t he want to be close to her? They’re together now, aren’t they? Shouldn’t they be together at Christmastime? Their first holiday together?
“I haven’t been home since the start of summer.”
“It will be good for you.” She tries to sound positive. “Beckham will be happy.”
A smile comes across his face. “Jane says Becks is telling her what he has planned for us to do while I’m there. He told her that I was to go to his friend’s house to play.”
“That’s cute. Would you ever move back to Brampton?”
“I’ve thought about it. I’ve been away for eighteen years. It would be weird for me to go back and live permanently, but you never know. My family is there, so that’s what makes it home. I don’t know how long I will be here for. I hope for a long time. I like it here. I like the scenery, the hockey club, the mild weather compared to back east and I like what I have. I don’t want to change unless I am forced to.”
“I guess you can’t really plan a future when you have the life you lead.”
“Not really. I can only try. It doesn’t always work out. I’ve seen guys play and settle down. Their wives think they are staying where they met, but forget that being transferred is part of the job. I’ve seen marriages break up because of it.”
“They must have known it’s what to expect when they married a hockey player.”
Jared gives a half grin, rubbing his chin. “One would think.”
“Did that happen to you?” she asks, digging into his past again. Wanting so desperately to know about these women he must have loved.
“Not like that, no.”
“How serious were you with Lauren?”
His mouth comes together. He rubs his hand on his thigh. “She thought we were.”
“But you weren’t?”
He shakes his head and makes eye contact. “We’re not.”
Meghan’s face changes shape. Is she a sucker for wanting this guy who’s had too many women to count? “Why did you break up with her?”
He swallows. “I don’t love her.”
Meghan takes in his honest eyes, but she still wonders about Lauren. She was all over him at the bar.
“Do you still talk to her? Are you friends?” he asks.
Meghan blows out a breath. “No. Actually, Lauren is pretending that she doesn’t know me. I didn’t do anything to her. It’s so strange. I don’t get it.”
“Be thankful for that.” He runs his hand through his hair. “She’s obsessive. Have you noticed her showing up to events?”
Meghan recalls the Coats for Kindness campaign. “I’m starting to.”
“She’s not showing up to donate,” he says.
“She comes by to see you?”
Jared shrugs. “Seems that way.”
“She’s friends with Keri.”
“Who’s that?”
“My boss,” Meghan says. Her head is spinning with questions and piecing the mystery together. “Can you tell me more about Lauren?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“I don’t understand—”
“I don’t want to talk about her,” he says. “I’ll be honest with you and tell you what you want to know, but when it comes to her, I have regrets.”
“Do you have regrets about me?” she asks.
“I wouldn’t be here if I did.” He smiles at her. “I think you’re an amazing person.” He brings his hand to her neck, combing her hair with his fingers. “The way you juggle your job and have to answer to people and manage the guys . . . that’s talent. I couldn’t do it. Why do you care so much about events and who shows up to them? Do you get perks or bonuses or something?”
“I wish!” she laughs. “I don’t get anything. It’s my job. I care.”
“Well, it shows.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m glad you brought me here.” His blue eyes are a shade darker, but the reflection from the night sky through the front window makes them glint. “The stars are out.”
“Pretty, isn’t it? More than I can count.”
“It’s a clear night,” he agrees. “I’d like to come here again.”
“I’m always up for company.” She turns on the ignition. “I think it’s going to snow soon. It’s cold in here.” She turns on the heat and plays with the vents. “I doubt I’ll forget my jacket again. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I know what I’m thinking,” he says, coming close to her. “I gotta kiss you again.” He moves his face even closer and whispers, “Do you know a place where we can be alone?”
“I know what you’re thinking.” She laughs and he kisses her. Every inch of her body is coming undone. Everywhere his hands touch, a shiver runs down her body. Why does he make her feel so alive? He is a great kisser. Knowing there are other vehicles parked around them, she doesn’t care. Their arms are all over each other. It’s too much to handle for being in close quarters. He takes her hand in his and runs his fingers down her body.
If only they were close to home, she would be willing to take it further. “I guess we should stop,” she says in a mere whisper. He pecks her one more time on the lips.
“Why?”
“This isn’t the place.”
“Why not?”
“There’s people around. You wouldn’t want to get caught with your pants down. How would we live that down?”
“I’m kidding,” he says. “You’re right.”
“We can go back to my house, but it’s late,” she says, contemplating.
He begins kissing her neck. She runs her hands through his hair. Why do they have to be so far from home?
“I want you so bad,” he says. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about.”
“I think of you, too,” she says, enjoying his touch. “We should go. I like this, but we have to stop before someone sees us.”
He backs away slowly. “I can’t get enough of you.”
This makes her smile and a fizzle of hope overcomes her. Maybe there is more to their relationship than she thinks. He wants her. She can give herself so easily. Jared is what she wants.
“We can do it right here,” he says, massaging the back of her head. Her eyes close and suddenly his lips are planted on hers, again.
It would be easy, she thinks. “There’s no room.”
“We can make room.” He takes a quick look behind them. “Okay, you’re right. No room.” He places his hand on her thigh and leaves it there. “I’m so turned on.”
“Let’s drive,” she says.
“If that doesn’t kill the craving,” he says, making her laugh.
“It will cool us down.”
“I should probably get my car before something happens to it,” he says.
“There’s probably people standing around taking pictures,” she says. “Your friends haven’t wondered where you took off to without your car?”
“They’re probably still there. What are you doing tomorrow?” he asks.
“Working. We have an event.”
“Do I need to be there?” he asks.
“Yes, I hope you’ll be there.”
“So you probably won’t spend the night?”
Her shoulders sink. She wants to say yes.
“I think about the cat costume . . .”
“I had to pay for that,” she says.
“What did they say when you returned it?”
“It was garbage. They couldn’t fix it without it looking repaired.”
“You had to pay for it? How much was it?”
“Two hundred bucks.
”
“Sorry. I can give you some money for it.”
“Don’t worry about it. That costume was a disaster. I should have known when I put it on it would give me grief. It was too tight.”
“You looked hot in it.”
She beams. “I still have to return your shirt and Jane’s leggings. I’ll come by this week.”
“Are you sure I can’t bring you home?”
She breathes out. “I wish I could, but I have a meeting first thing. You don’t know how hard this is for me to say no? We have an event this week, it’s the second Coats for Kindness campaign.”
“Remind me.”
“You’re not serious,” she says. “I e-mailed you the details last week. Do you ignore them?”
“I don’t check my e-mail that often.”
“That’s because you avoid me.”
“I don’t.”
“You don’t like going to these things. Is it Lauren?”
“I just want to play hockey.” He shrugs. “I’ve never been big on hanging out at community things. It’s not that I’m not supportive . . . I am.”
“Then what is it?” She tries to read him.
“I get annoyed by people I don’t know hugging me and touching me.”
“It’s who you are. People feed off your success.”
“I know . . . I should be grateful.”
“You are, I know you must be.”
He leans in and kisses her. His lips taste hers as though he’s begging for more.
His lips part. “Are you sure you can’t come back to my house?”
“I’d never leave,” she says.
“You can stay at my house,” he says with a tone that makes her body ache. He could satisfy her need instantly, all she has to do is go to his house or her place and it would be a done deal. She’d know by the deed that they were together . . . a couple, loving each other like two people do when the attraction is so intense.
“Seriously, don’t ask because I will.” She smiles and kisses him back.
He hums, holding her with a mighty grip, bringing her lips back to his. “I could use the company.” Their voices are whispers.
“We’ll pick up where we left off when I see you,” she reasons.
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