“Before we went out on the boat, we smoked pot.”
“Luke wouldn’t do that.”
“We did. We thought it would be funny to smoke a joint and see what kind of fishing we could do. We weren’t thinking straight. We were only out there for a few minutes when Luke said he was really hungry and thirsty. I threw in a cooler before we left because it was really warm that day, remember? All I found was a couple cans of soda so I threw some ice on it and we took off, concerned about the drinks being cold and not a life jacket. Stupid, I know.” Corey shakes his head.
“Luke never smoked anything. I don’t believe it.”
“He did that day.”
“Did you offer it to him?”
“Someone offered it to us, I can’t remember who. We took it, not thinking it was a big deal. We were having fun . . . We got into the boat . . .”
Jared exhales. He feels so disturbed. Could Corey be lying? Why didn’t he know this fact about the accident? Wouldn’t the doctors know and say something to his aunt and uncle?
Jared takes a step backward. He wants to go home. He doesn’t want to give this guy any more of his time. He changed his life and wrecked Luke’s life. If he had of known this in the game he would have pounded him harder against the boards. Jared makes a fist and cups his other hand around it, holding back from the fury that is vibrating his bones.
“We were kids,” Corey reminds him. “I made a mistake . . . Luke made a mistake. We weren’t thinking about consequences, we weren’t thinking about anything else except having fun. We didn’t know if it would be our last year playing junior together. . . .”
“That’s not like Luke, the guy rarely had a beer,” Jared says. “Was he okay? Was he upset about something?” He knew everything that was going on in Luke’s head, or he thought he did. He would never guess that Luke would smoke anything at that time of launching his career.
“He was fine. Luke was his usual self, upbeat . . . he was eager to get out on the water.”
“So you guys were fishing and Luke just happened to slip on ice cubes and fall off the boat? Doesn’t seem logical, does it?” Jared tests. Did Corey really think he’d buy his story?
“That’s what I’m telling you.”
“Was Luke already unconscious in the water?”
“Yeah. He hit his head like I told you. I jumped in the water, saw blood and Luke sinking. I pulled him up and tried my best to keep him afloat. I couldn’t swim to shore, it was too far and I tried lifting him into the boat but I couldn’t. . . .”
“If he didn’t hit his head . . .” Jared says.
“That’s when you came . . . It was an accident. Look, I didn’t catch up to you to relive Luke’s death. I’ve been carrying the guilt and it hasn’t helped me cope in my life.” Corey brings a hand to his chest. “I want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened to Luke. I wish it were a different outcome, I do,” he says. “I wish he were alive. I’d like to watch him play. He’d be a hell of a player and probably would kick both of our asses.”
That evening, Jared drives home thinking about Luke. How could Luke have smoked pot, gotten on a boat, and not worn a life jacket? It all seemed so simple, yet he thought he was invincible. Jared thinks about Meghan. He wants to see her. He likes that she is a good listener, is friendly and encouraging. If only she was easy to reach. Why doesn’t she answer her phone? He has to talk to her about that the next time he sees her, which most likely will be after Christmas since he’s leaving tomorrow for his hometown. Was she mad that she wasn’t coming with him? Was she expecting an invite? She had her own family plans; besides, it wasn’t like they were serious or even together. As much as he cares for her, they are still at the beginning. Does she think there was more between them? No doubt he is sexually charged whenever he is close to her. He can’t help thinking about getting her into bed. But there is also something very different about Meghan. As much as he wants to sleep with her, he wants to be in her company. He realizes that he enjoys talking to her more than he had with any other woman. Meg is easy to talk to and more importantly, she seems like the one person who understands him and just listens without him feeling like she wants to solve a problem. She heard him out and he told her more than most people. It has to count for something. He needs to talk to her again and tell her how much she means to him. Seeing Lauren in his house reminded him of what he didn’t want. Lauren isn’t good enough. Meghan is what he desires.
Jared drives over to Meghan’s apartment, hoping it could lead to a few hours in her bed before he has to say good-bye. He doesn’t bother calling. He hasn’t spoken to her in a few days. Loretta had told him she had come by to drop off his sister’s leggings and his old T-shirt. He was sorry he missed her, but after seeing Lauren, he wanted to get out and do something, so he chose to go out and do some Christmas shopping. He wants to buy Meghan a gift, but doesn’t know what.
He thought about calling her earlier in the day, but at the time he was mentally prepping for his game and with practice, he didn’t have time or want to mess up his concentration, so he kept to himself. It didn’t help matters since their game was a huge disappointment for the team and the fans. He was now officially on winter holidays for the next six days and would be back soon enough to play a couple of games before the New Year. There was never a waste of time for a hockey player. Most of them flew home for Christmas and then back again, making a week not so long when they hadn’t seen family for months.
He rings her apartment number, but there’s no answer. Why did he think she would be home? It’s three days before Christmas. She probably has things to do. He gets back into his truck, an alternative ride in case he has to plow through snow. A light dusting has started to fall, not like home where plugging in your vehicle isn’t an option and digging out your driveway was the way it is for everyone. British Columbia was damp and chilly in the fall. People complained when it snowed and complained when it was hovering around freezing. He liked it here. It did feel like home. The weather was easier to get used to, unless he was playing somewhere down south. This was a hockey city and he was thankful for the fans, even though he wasn’t interested in making appearances.
Jared tries calling her on her cell phone. He misses Meghan. Thinking about being away from her over Christmas.
There’s no answer. He takes the phone away from his ear ready to hang up and then brings it back. What can he tell her? That he misses her? He wants her so bad that he’ll wait in visitor parking until she comes home? He quickly says his name after the beep and tells Meghan to give him a call when she can. After he hangs up, he stares at his phone for a moment as though waiting for Meghan to call him back instantly. She could be shopping and trying to pay for something and not be able to answer her phone. He imagines her riffling through her purse for her phone and seeing that he called. She waits until she has her hands free before calling him back, except there’s no call made. Jared waits in the parking stall a little longer. She’s too busy to take his call. He throws it down on the passenger seat, starts the ignition, and drives home, determined to see her before going home tomorrow.
Meghan goes home to change after work and to figure out what to do about a cocktail dress for the upcoming black-tie event in just over a week. After all the planning, she didn’t even think about what she was going to wear. Keri said it’s an excuse for her to go shopping, needing a glamorous dress for the party, but Meghan would rather save her money and wear something she already has. It turns out her wedding dress is the fanciest thing she owns.
She pulls out her wedding dress from her bedroom closet and studies the off-white ensemble, holding it up and wondering what she could do to alter it so that it doesn’t look like wedding attire.
Meghan undresses and steps into the gown, just as she had practiced when trying it on for Sara and Brie after she bought it. A thrill had run through her body, as she enjoyed the moment of feeling like a princess. The dress was one she picked out because of the fit and the way it hugged her waist and hung str
aight to the floor. She looks down at the mermaid-style dress. She stands in front of the mirror, judging herself and the look she is trying to convey. If she cut off the train and brought the sleeves in so there is less pouf . . . Meghan tries to imagine the change, but she can’t get past the color. It would still look like a wedding dress. It doesn’t matter how short the length or if it’s sleeveless, the look still represents purity, unless she dyes it another color.
Later that day, Meghan finds a sewing and alteration company that will change the look of her dress.
“What exactly do you want to do with this?” the dressmaker asks, wearing a pincushion on her wrist. Her black hair is gathered and clipped at the crown of her head. There are white, sparse hairs poking out every which way.
“I want to change the look of it,” Meghan says.
“Are you sure you won’t wear it again?” the woman asks.
“I’m sure. Why keep it if I’m not going to wear it again?”
The woman looks at her and then down at the dress that is laid out on a table. She brushes the fabric with her hand. “It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
“It’s an expensive dress. You could sell it.”
“I know.”
“What do you want to do to it?” the woman asks.
“Cut the train.”
The woman gasps, holding her mouth. “The train makes the dress!”
“I know, but I don’t want it to look like the same dress.”
The woman touches her chin, studying the dress as though it’s a work of art and she’s not sure where to hang the piece on the wall.
“How about if we dye it?”
“Change the color?”
Meghan nods.
“If you dye it, you can’t get it back to the original.”
“I know,” Meghan says. “I will never wear it again.”
“But if you get married, you already have a dress!”
“I couldn’t wear this one again. It reminds me of my ex, but if I dye it and alter it, I can wear it another time or two.”
“Okay.” The woman hums and feels the fabric. “If I cut off the train and alter the sleeves to be thinner.” The woman gathers the lace on the sleeves to show what she’s talking about. “And dye it . . . do you have a color in mind?”
“Black.”
“Oh!” she gasps. “You want to dye it black?” The woman holds her hand to her cheek. She hums, staring at the dress. “Okay, okay. It will look like evening wear, still very formal.”
“That’ll be perfect then!” Meghan clasps her hands together. “When can I pick it up?”
“How’s next week?”
“I need it by next Friday,” Meghan says, and leaves the store to meet up with Brie and Sara for a little Christmas shopping and a light dinner.
The three of them sit in a booth surrounded by their purchases and order drinks and appetizers.
“What’s Jared doing for Christmas?” Brie asks as she pulls apart a piece of bread and dips it.
“Going home to Brampton.”
“Guess you’re not seeing him before.”
“Probably not. I haven’t spoken to him in a while.”
“Why’s that?”
“Busy.”
“You’re too busy for a guy? Especially Jared?” Sara asks. “Come on!”
“He had games and I was working on finishing some things up,” she says as though it’s no big deal.
“What’s going on with the two of you?”
“Nothing.” Meghan sips blueberry tea. The liqueur warms her insides and giving her a little pep that she lost while shopping. Her energy level is renewed now that Jared is on her mind.
“I thought you liked him.”
“I do! He’s Jared Landry. Every woman likes him,” Meghan says.
“So that’s it? You two aren’t together?” Brie comprehends. “You’re done?”
“We were never together,” she says, trying to believe it herself.
“You were for a little bit.”
“Not really.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to be interested in a relationship. We’ve had a good time together.” A real good time. Will she ever get his naked body out of her mind? It could be a curse that stays with her forever. Those ripped abs and solid arms. Meghan straightens her back, thinking of the wondrous affection he’s shown her when they are together. She sulks. “I think he’s seeing his ex-girlfriend.”
“Oh,” Sara and Brie say in unison.
“How do you know?” Sara asks. “He told you?”
“Not exactly.”
“So it’s not for sure,” Brie says. “I’m not following you. How do you know?”
“Remember my childhood friend I’ve talked about? Lauren? Well, turns out she’s his ex. She tells me they’re together when she came to the event looking for him and she’s planning their wedding!”
Brie breaks out laughing. “You don’t believe her, do you? Sounds like crazy talk to me.”
“You still don’t know for sure,” Sara says lightly.
“I went over to Jared’s house, he wasn’t there and I tried calling him, but he doesn’t answer. I think they’re back together.”
“How did that happen?” Sara asks.
Meghan shakes her head. “I can’t believe it either. Lauren’s beautiful! Why wouldn’t he want her back?”
“Megs? You’re beautiful.” Brie dunks another piece of bread in the spinach dip. “You don’t know what she’s like in a relationship,” Brie soothes. “They broke up because it wasn’t working out I’m sure. So, if they’re together, what’s changed?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, I have no idea. They have a history and sometimes it repeats itself. In this case, I can see them patching things up.” She remembers the way Lauren approached Jared at the bar.
“Do you know why they broke up?”
“No.”
“Then you can’t assume. I think you should call up Jared when you get home and tell him you want him and see where you stand. No sense playing around.”
“It’ll have to wait a week. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”
“Did you buy him anything for Christmas?” Sara asks.
“No, should I?”
“Up to you.”
“I wanted to, but we’re not together. I don’t want to give him something cheesy. The guy is rich. He can buy anything he wants.”
“He can’t buy you,” Brie says.
“No, he can’t,” Meghan agrees. “But I may be too late. Lauren’s beat me to it.”
“Don’t worry about Lauren, worry about what you need to do to get him back,” Brie says. “Whatever it takes. You’ve perfected the flirting, now you’re onto relationship building.”
“You sound like that psychologist you read to me.” Meghan laughs.
“I see what’s going on with you,” Brie says. “You need to show him you want him. Give him what he doesn’t have. Tell him you want him and then throw yourself at him.” Brie smirks.
“What are you suggesting?” Meghan asks, fluttering her thick eyelashes. “Have sex with the guy? Is that his gift or mine?” She laughs.
“Think of it as something for both of you,” Brie says.
Meghan’s smile fades as she thinks about what it would be like to lose Jared and not see him again. “Only in my dreams.”
“It wouldn’t hurt if you showed up at his front door wearing a bow tied around you,” Brie says. The women all laugh. “Best present he’d ever have, I guarantee it.”
“But would that make him stay with me? I don’t want a fling,” Meghan says pouting, feeling a desperate pull of her heart. She thought they had something. There was definitely something between them. More than Colton, more than Stu, which makes her laugh considering she’s not even Jared’s girlfriend or hasn’t been and she feels a strong connection with him. Could it be the chemistry, or was it that they got along and saw things the same
way? Whatever it was, Meghan wanted more of Jared.
“You’re not going to do it, are you?” Sara asks.
Meghan lifts her cup to her mouth. “I’d need a lot of these before thinking about doing it.” She sips her hot beverage. “I don’t think throwing myself at him will help matters, I’m sure he gets that a lot.”
“Probably does,” Sara chimes in. “Who wouldn’t if they have the opportunity?”
“Jared doesn’t come to a lot of the events he’s expected to go to because he doesn’t like the attention.”
“Really? A guy like him?” Brie asks. “Never heard of that.”
“Not everyone wants to be in the spotlight.”
“His job makes him so he is.”
“He wants to play hockey,” Meghan says. “He doesn’t want publicity.”
“Something happen to him when he was younger?” Sara asks.
“I don’t think so.” Meghan holds back from telling them about his cousin’s death. Maybe that had something to do with Jared’s loneliness. Although when they were together he is far from being introverted. He’s more outgoing than Stu and Colton combined.
Meghan sighs. “I’m not chasing him. If he wants me, he knows how to find me.”
“You’re tough,” Sara says.
Brie grins. “She likes him. She’s playing hard to get.”
“It’s the only way to know if he wants me,” she says, reaching for her phone after hearing a ding that she has voice mail. “Besides, if he really wanted to show me, he would have invited me home for Christmas.”
“That’s a big step. So you’re gonna wait around for him to call?” Brie asks.
“Looks like he just did.” She holds up her phone. “Missed it.”
“I didn’t hear it ring.”
“Neither did I.”
“Are you going to call him?” Brie asks.
Meghan looks at her phone, wondering. “I will. It’s the only way to tell if he’s serious.” It could set her up for heartbreak or make her hopeful. Either way, she’s nervous. It would be devastating to lose him, or it might leave her panic-stricken to keep him.
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