An attractive red head catches my eye from across the room. She is tall and statuesque. Not my usual go to type – soft and petite - but today of all days is time to shake it up. We text back and forth a few times, trying to feel her out, see what she is looking for. When she writes the magic words “no strings attached,” I send her the room number and ask her to meet me up there in ten minutes. I need to have another drink first. Work today was nothing short of a mind fuck, and I can’t seem to shake it. Please let this girl solve my problem, I send up a silent prayer.
I shut and lock the bedroom door before turning to find Big Red, as I’ve dubbed her, standing by the end of the bed. I rip my shirt over my head as I cross the room to her and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her tight against me as my lips descend on hers. She moans and grips my shoulders.
I lift her so that she wraps her arms and legs around me, then I crawl up onto the bed with her, putting her under me. Something feels off about it. I try to ignore it, try not to think about how wrong it feels to have this woman under me. What the fuck is wrong with me? She is gorgeous and she has huge boobs. I’ve always loved a big rack. Loved? I am momentarily shocked by my past tense thoughts. I lift my head and stare down at her beautifully flushed face, at least what I can see of it.
She draws her brows in concern as if to ask, "You okay?"
I shake my head to clear it and try to give her a smile. Nodding down at her. But I am completely distracted, my mind drifting to a hard body with firm lips.
She pouts, clearly seeing that I’m not all here with her. Trying to keep my attention, she rolls us so that she is on top, and then wiggles her way down my body.
I wait for the curl of desire to hit me, but it never happens. Even as she undoes my jeans and pulls them off, I remain soft. Big Red kneels between my legs, her eyebrows furrowed.
I follow her line of sight to find my flaccid cock, laying across my hip. I gently push her head back toward my limp dick, encouraging her to keep going, hoping that if she touches me I will get hard.
She shrugs before bending down to drag her tongue down the length of my cock. I close my eyes and let her do her thing. She licks me a few more times before pulling me into her mouth. No matter how good it feels, the only thing that I can think is that it’s not Chance and his capable mouth. Fuck! This can’t be happening! I shove Chance from my mind and try to focus on Big Red and what she’s doing. Even after a couple of minutes of her sucking my dick, I still haven't gotten hard.
Thank god I didn’t call one of my fuck buddies. Anonymity is my best friend. Can you just picture the headlines: Parker Hamilton has a new role…the eunuch!
Big Red pulls back, sitting on her heels, giving me an expectant look.
I groan and cover my face with my hands. I feel the bed move as she gets up to gather her clothes. I feel bad. Awful. I wish I could tell her that it isn’t her, but rules are rules and I can’t speak. She starts dressing quickly, probably trying to escape humiliation. Meanwhile, I’m the one who should be mortified. I send her a quick message telling her, hoping to soften the blow.
Ham Bone #069: I’m sorry. It isn’t u
Red Apple #331: Whatever, asshole
Ham Bone #069: Come on, don’t be like that
Red Apple #331: Fuck you. 1st some Nico asshole throws me out of his room…this same room…and now u? wtf
I frown at her. Nico? Shit, this chick gets around apparently. Now I’m really glad that I didn’t go there. Parker Hamilton doesn’t do sloppy seconds.
Ham Bone #069: I’m just having some personal issues, really, it has nothing to do with u
Red Apple #331: Don’t give a shit. Don’t text me again
She storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I flop back and make an aggravated noise in my throat. Dammit! Fucking Chance!
Still Parker…
I find myself a comfortable seat at the bar and nod at the bartender. He knows what I want. I am here often enough. I’m not ready to be alone with my thoughts, but I don’t really want to be bothered by anyone, so I remove my name tag with my number on it so nobody can contact me. I see Calvin doing a sweep of the floor, making sure everyone is safe and following the rules so I lift my beer at him in a “cheers” fashion, hoping he doesn’t come over here. I lean my head back and take a swig of my Heineken, needing to feel the heady sensation of my way-too-tense muscles beginning to relax some. Just as my buzz helps to fog my brain, a warm body slides into the stool next to me. Shit, I really don’t want to deal with anyone.
Without turning toward them, I allow my eyes to wander in their direction, curiosity getting the best of me. Oh thank god, it’s just Charlie. I look at her sitting there looking so beautiful, willing myself to get turned on. Something. Anything. Nothing. I don’t for the life of me understand what has shifted in me in a matter of days. No, hours, if I’m being completely honest with myself. I must be staring at her longer than I should because all of a sudden her brows furrow. Then my messenger vibrates.
Mrs. King #228: Hey, sweetie
I laugh as her text comes through. I know who’s idea that was.
Ham Bone #069: Nice new nametag
She laughs, covering her heart with her hand. She rubs it affectionately.
Mrs. King #228: That’s your friend
Ham Bone #069: You married him
Mrs. King #228: True & I’d do it all over again. Wait until Nick finds out that changing nicknames is an option. Delilah is screwed. lol
I smile absentmindedly, a little jealous of their relationships. Up until now, it’s never bothered me to see how in love they all are.
Mrs. King #228: Hey…u ok?
Ham Bone #069: Fine
Mrs. King #228: I know u better than that
I laugh – on the inside. Yeah, I guess she does know me pretty well.
Ham Bone #069: I’ll be fine. Just got some stuff on my mind
Mrs. King #228: Anything u want to talk about?
Do I? Yeah, maybe getting a woman’s perspective would help.
Ham Bone #069: Ok, but not here
Mrs. King #228: Want me to get a room upstairs?
I laugh, again – on the inside. Oh, the irony. Another beautiful woman wants to go upstairs to a room with me, and all that will be going on is talking.
Ham Bone #069: Already got one
We head up to the room I got earlier. Nick and Delilah’s old room, it’s now been dubbed. I take a seat on the end of the bed and Charlie sits next to be. Man, I am having the worst case of déjà vu. Only, this time, it’s me spilling my guts about my sexual history. I hope she takes this better than I did when she told me that she was raped as a teenager.
Charlie moves closer then turns with her knee up on the bed, facing me. She places her hand on my chest. "Parker, talk to me, what’s going on?" she asks, a hint of concern in her voice.
I scrub my face with my hands before turning my head to look at her. "Swear to me that you won't tell a soul."
She actually looks a little hurt by that statement. "Parker, you of all people know how well I can keep things to myself."
I give her a sharp nod before I turn to stare up at the ceiling. "So, I’m sure that you know this already…I'm shooting this movie with Chance Steele and we have to play gay men.”
“Don’t tell me that you guys are still at each other’s throats. You seemed fine at the dinner party. You guys need to get over whatever beef you have with each other.”
I stare at her incredulously. If she only knew the “beef” we had with each other. I shake my head, trying to clear the image of Chance’s hard cock from my mind.
“We just had to do our first sex scene today..." I pause, not sure if I am ready to admit my feelings to Charlie.
"That's why you are sitting at the bar drinking alone?" she asks softly, rubbing my back in soothing circles. “Were you not able to do it? Is the director angry?”
I shake my head. "The complete opposite, Char. I was so revved up, that I ran
here because I needed to find a woman to finish what I started."
She nods in understanding, "That's understandable."
"But...I...I couldn’t stop thinking that the woman I brought up here wasn’t Chance," I rasp.
She watches me, her face neutral. "What do you mean?" she asks carefully.
I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath, preparing to confess the biggest thing. "Chance...a few weeks after you had the girls…I ran into him at a bar and he came to my house afterwards so that we can get the awkwardness out of the way for when we had to kiss and do other shit..." I start.
"Okay." Charlie drawls when I fall silent.
"We kissed and he ended up going down on me." I wince.
Charlie gasps, the hand that had been on my chest flies up to cover her mouth. "What? But I thought that Chance was straight!"
"He is...was...shit, I don't know. He said that he's open minded and curious, but that's not the problem; the problem is that I fucking enjoyed it. I'm talking best blow job ever," I say, glancing at her from the corner of my eye to see her reaction.
She rolls her lips in and looks as if she’s fighting not to laugh. I gape at her.
"You think this is funny?" I say in astonishment.
She waves her hand and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, no it's not funny," she chokes, obviously trying not to laugh.
"Charlie," I groan. "What? Why are you laughing?"
She shrugs, letting her smile go. "It's nothing. I just never thought that you'd let a guy do that to you, and your discomfort about it is kinda funny."
"I didn't want it to feel good, but it did. And earlier, when Big Red was doing it, it just didn't feel the same, he fucking ruined it for me."
"Maybe you just need to explore this with Chance, he's obviously willing." She shrugs.
"He wants to have sex with me, Char. I don't think that I can do that. I'm straight, never wanted a guy in my life..." I start.
"Until now," she says, cutting me off with a pointed look. "Maybe you're not as straight as you think."
"What? No! I’m straight, not bi or gay, just straight," I insist.
"Then you should have been able to fuck that chick as soon as your pants came off; apparently, pussy doesn't turn you on anymore," she says, an amused glint in her eye.
Well, shit. Thank god for Charlotte and her say it like it is, take no prisoners, doesn’t sugar coat anything, attitude. I grit my teeth. But, can Charlie be right? Can I really have changed that quickly to being bi? Or even gay? I turn to my side to face her, my knee now on the bed hitting hers. I check her out again, trying to prove to her - and to myself - that I am still straight. Beautiful face, curly blonde hair, ice blue eyes, pouty lips, perky breasts…nothing, my dick doesn’t even twitch. Fuck me! My hand skims down to the front of my pants and I squeeze gently, trying to get some movement. Anything. I feel nothing.
Charlie’s eyes are sparkling in laughter. “Thou dost protest too much, methinks.”
I let the words swirl in my head for a few seconds, dawning on me what that’s from. No she didn’t. “What did you just say?”
“It’s a quote from Haml…” she starts, but I stand up abruptly, essentially cutting her off. I guess if I would have asked for a sign that would be it.
I lean down and kiss her on the cheek, thanking her for her words of wisdom, in a bit of a daze. And this time, it has nothing to do with the beer I was nursing. There is someone else that I need to have this conversation with.
Chapter Ten
Chance
"I'm coming! Fuck!" I yell as I make my way toward the front door of my studio in nothing but a towel.
The pounding on my door started a couple of minutes ago while I was in the shower. I had shampoo in my hair, so I had to quickly rinse it out and hop out so I could get to the door. I have no idea who the fuck could be pounding on my door at friggin' eleven o'clock at night, but whoever it is, wants in.
I fling open the door angrily. "What?" I snap, and then freeze when I see Parker standing there, his head bowed, one hand stuffed into the front pocket of his jeans.
He slowly raises his head. He stiffens when he sees me. Apparently, he had not been expecting me to be naked, clutching a towel to my waist. My heart flutters wildly. We hadn't exactly parted on good terms earlier and I’m nervous about why he’s standing at my door. I watch as Parker’s eyes rake over my naked upper body before dropping lower, my cock stirring from his dirty perusal. When his eyes come back up to meet mine, they are dark with desire.
I open my mouth to say something, but Parker attacks me instead. He shoots forward, crushing his mouth to mine as he kicks the door shut behind him. I flail, grabbing at Parker for something to hold onto before I fall over. Parker grips the sides of my neck, just under my ears and just ravages my mouth. The towel is suddenly gone, my body still dripping wet. Parker turns us and slams me against the hallway wall before pressing his body against mine and I involuntarily moan.
Parker pulls back long enough to yank his t-shirt over his head, and then he’s back at my mouth, licking and sucking at my lips and tongue. Holy shit, this is so hot. I moan again, when our bare chests meet. Then I gasp when his hand slides down my side, thumb catching my nipple, and comes to a stop on my bare hip where he grips me tight.
"I thought...you were going...to get laid," I mutter between kisses, my hands settling on his hips.
Parker drags his mouth along my jaw and nips at my ear before answering. "I tried," he rasps, sucking on my neck lightly. "I couldn't...perform...you fucking ruined me," he accuses halfheartedly.
His words sink in and the shock has me pushing him back far enough so that I can look at his face. "What do you mean you couldn't ‘perform’?" I ask, brow furrowed.
Parker sighs heavily. "Nothing she did turned me on. I couldn’t even get it up," he admits quietly, not meeting my intense gaze.
“Sounds like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.”
“More like a cock…and it’s already hard…and in place,” he answers wryly, quirking an eyebrow. Then he not so subtly palms his dick.
I stare at him for a moment. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? "So you've changed your mind about my earlier offer?" I ask hoarsely, my stomach flipping excitedly.
Parker licks his lips nervously and meets my eyes. He nods and I lose it. I grab the back of his neck and pull him back into a hungry kiss. I wrap my hands around his hard biceps and turn us so that Parker is now against the wall. I press my naked body against his. He already has a raging hard on. As soon as Parker leers at me with that dark look, I am hard as a rock. Every damn time.
I go to work on his jeans while we continue to kiss. Once he is free of his pants, Parker wraps his arms around me and yanks me close. Our bodies fit together perfectly - in my opinion. Parker groans and tilts his hips forward, causing our cocks to slide against each other’s. My breath catches at the zing of pleasure that tightens my groin. We weren’t face to face on the set. Now I realize that if we had been, we both would have orgasmed for sure.
Parker’s touch is tentative and hesitant, like he still doesn’t really want to do this, but his body is giving him no choice. I brush off the hurt I feel over it. I can’t change the way he feels about being with another man. I can only hope that he will get over it. I snake my hand down in between us and wrap it around both of our cocks, slowly jerking us off together. The pleasure is nothing less than exquisite.
Parker curses loudly and groans as his head falls back against the wall. Fuck! He is so sexy. I take advantage of his exposed neck, licking and sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin.
"Let’s move to the bed," I murmur against his neck before pulling away and taking his hand to lead him to the bed area.
I shove Parker onto the bed then crawl over him. He watches me in silence, his jaw gritted. His nostrils flare from the force of his breaths. His hands clench the sheets next to his hips. I pause on my hands and knees over him.
"You okay?" I
ask softly.
He swallows hard and licks his lips again. "I just...don't know how… what to do."
I smile and thread my fingers into his blonde hair. I lean down and kiss him gently. "Just relax, touch me the same way you would touch yourself and just try to enjoy this," I murmur then kiss him again.
He nods even though he still looks unsure. I nuzzle the side of Parker’s face, nudging it to the side so that I can kiss his neck some more. He complies, his eyes slipping closed. He takes a couple of deep breaths and I feel his body relaxing.
I straddle Parker’s hips while I tease his neck. I feel his hands come up, settling lightly on my hips, before skimming up my sides then back down. He then slides one hand around tentatively to touch my cock. I inhale sharply, surprised at what such a little touch from him does to me. I push up so that I am sitting on his thighs, and his eyes widened when I grab his hand and force it to fist my cock. I keep my hand on his to prevent him from pulling away then I slowly start moving both our hands to stroke up and down my shaft. I shudder, my hips jutting forward in time with our strokes.
Parker
I watch wide-eyed as we both jerk him off. I am touching another man. I wait for the panic to set in, but it never comes; instead, curiosity flares. And desire so fierce that I am ready to flip Chance over and take him right now. But we need to go slowly, we need to feel each other out. I need to come to terms with what is happening. Chance looks magnificent above me - his eyes closed, his lips parted, his head thrown back, and his hips thrusting forward into our hands. Fuck, this really has my blood pumping.
I can’t take it anymore, so I push Chance off, following him as we roll. I settle on top of him, my mouth immediately finding his. We both groan and grunt against each other. Hands gripping flesh. I am so turned on that I can barely stand it. I tear my mouth away from Chance’s.
Crossing The Line (A Taboo Love series Book 3) Page 9