by Hadley Quinn
“My apologies,” she said politely. “But you can’t be in this hallway. There’s a waiting room—”
He brushed past her without allowing her to finish, and even passed a security guard that was obviously ready to remove him if he needed to. But Jay needed air. He rushed outside, the nausea starting to feel stronger in his body. He wasn’t sure if he was actually going to throw up, but he leaned over a bush just in case.
“Jay?” a quiet voice said. And that’s when reality was starting to sink in. Kyle. That was his brother in there, too, and not just by friendship but also by birth. Being a selfish prick at the moment was the last thing Jay wanted to be.
He took a deep breath and stood upright. He faced Kyle on the sidewalk, who looked like he was a young boy not a grown twenty-one-year-old man. He looked like shit, and Jay realized he too had blood on his shirt and arms.
“I’m sorry, man,” Jay finally said. “I’m so sorry.”
Kyle swallowed, trying to keep it together, but then he lost it. He dropped to his knees on the cement and started to sob. “I couldn’t save him,” he cried. “I tried but…”
Jay squatted down to his haunches in front of him. “What happened? How did he get shot? What the fuck happened? Where were you guys?”
Kyle took a deep, shaky breath but still sobbed when he let it out. “At the shop. Beck was putting in crazy hours to catch up on shit he was behind on. He needed help, Jay! You should have been there helping,” he drifted off quietly as he cried.
Jay swallowed down the lump in his throat as Kyle cried. The guilt was washing over him again in thick waves because the kid was right. For the past week Jay felt like he needed to make things right with Beck. He knew it without a doubt and he put it off anyway, thinking he’d do it another day. He thought he would have time. He wanted his pride to back the fuck off before he talked to Beck because he thought he had plenty of time.
“I’m sorry,” Jay finally said, not knowing what else to say.
“Fuck you, Jay,” Kyle cried quietly. “It’s too late.” He got up and staggered away, but Jay jumped up to follow him.
“What happened, Kyle? Tell me what happened!”
“Some fucker came in with a gun! He had two other guys with him and they started taking shit. Beck let them because he didn’t want anybody to get hurt. He was standing in front of me the entire time. That fucker…” Kyle’s voice caught and he took a deep breath. “That fucker shot him anyways. Right as they were leaving. Beck moved toward the door—I think he was trying to see their truck—and the guy shot him anyways! He tried for me too, but missed. Or Beck shoved me down. I don’t remember. I ended up down on the garage floor. And then I saw he was bleeding…”
A pair of police officers had been in close vicinity since they’d arrived at the hospital, and they finally asked to speak to Kyle. Jay understood the reluctance that was written all over his face, and he was going to stick with him in case he needed the support, but Kyle cast a death glare at him before he turned to leave with them. They went inside, but Jay remained outdoors for the cooler air. It was bad enough that he’d been on the outs with Beck, but now Kyle hated his guts too.
Jay knew he’d missed a couple of calls so he checked his phone. Two from Melanie and one from Teague. He didn’t feel up to talking to anyone and was going to leave a text message for them both, but a familiar face approached the hospital and Jay hoped to God that she kept walking and left him the hell alone.
No such luck. Jess joined him on the sidewalk but didn’t say anything right away. She looked pale and concerned, but not hysterical like Jay assumed a girl would be after finding out her boyfriend had been shot.
“You don’t even care to ask about him?” Jay finally said, motioning through the emergency entrance.
“He wouldn’t want me here,” she replied carefully. “We broke up yesterday.”
Jay stared at her for a few seconds and then scoffed. “Perfect. He dumps your cheating ass and then takes his last breath here. Just perfect. What a fucking joke.”
“Last breath? What? What are you talking about? Kyle said he was heading for surgery…”
Jay shook his head and walked away.
“I broke up with him!” she shouted from behind. “I broke up with him, you asshole!”
Jay slowed to assess her words, but he had nothing to say so he kept walking. He re-entered the hospital, first spotting Kyle still with the police. He was sitting down, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Jay kept his distance, not wanting to upset him any further. Jess entered through the sliding doors and eyed him carefully, but she walked over to the furthest seats possible and sat down.
After several minutes of torturous silence, Jay walked up to the counter and asked, “Beckett Wallace? Any news on him?”
“He’s still in surgery, I don’t know anything yet. When the doctor has something to tell the family, he will let them know.”
Jay turned away without a word and found a seat. He wasn’t sure why he was going to wait for news that he was already sure of because when the doctor came out and found Kyle, watching him fall apart once again wasn’t what Jay needed to see.
“No, no, no, no…” he heard Kyle sob as he rocked back and forth. “No!”
A swift movement caught Jay’s eye and he watched Jess jog across the waiting room for the exit. She was crying too, but Jay could only lean his head back against the wall and stare across the room as he heard her heels clicking for escape. He saw Kyle get up and follow the doctor behind closed doors, but Jay just sat there, completely still and silent.
It must have been almost an hour before Kyle returned to the waiting room. He looked across the room and stared at Jay for a few seconds, and then made his way over. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds until he took a deep breath and let it out.
“They’ll let you see him,” he said impassively. His voice didn’t even sound like his own. “I told them you’re family.” Then he turned and walked away for the exit.
Jay was going to refuse. He couldn’t do it and wouldn’t. But the nurse that had walked Kyle out was still standing at the door waiting for Jay to follow her. He wasn’t sure what made his body move because he surely couldn’t feel it. And as Jay walked down the hall behind her, it was like a vacant tunnel to certain doom, full of everything yet full of nothing.
The unknown, but for sure something dreadful.
The nurse stopped at a room and gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be right here if you need anything,” she spoke softly, pointing to somewhere in the surrounding area.
Jay had no idea to where she was referring, but he barely nodded and turned away. He stood at the doorway for almost a minute before he took a step forward. The shape of feet under a white blanket came into view first, then legs and chest, and then Beck’s face—eyes closed like he was just resting, but Jay knew better.
Dead. Gone. No more.
Those were the words that the room seemed to greet him with, but not only that, there was the feel of loss that was literally as tangible as the body that Jay now had his hand on. He could feel the change in his life already, the emptiness and shift in his entire attitude. The happiness that had been in his life only hours ago was already being consumed by something dark.
He stood there for several minutes, not saying a word with just his hand on Beck’s shoulder. Some things are more important than your damn pride a voice repeated in his head.
“And things happen in life that are so fucking pointless, it doesn’t even matter anyways,” he said out loud.
Why this had to happen was never going to make sense to him. This was just completely fucked up…
Beck’s body was wrapped securely with white sheets to keep his limbs tucked in. Jay could see a couple of grease stains on his neck and jawbone, but he knew that his hands looked even worse. The sign of hard work, all gone to shit. What was the fucking point? Beck had worked his ass off h
is entire life to get where he was at and now it was for nothing. Twenty-six years old and he had no more business, no wife, and no kids that he had desperately wanted.
Dead. Gone. No more.
“Fuck,” Jay exhaled, leaning onto the bed. He just couldn’t be in here any longer, but he needed to say what he came to say. “I’m sorry, Beck. Okay? I’m…so fucking sorry for…whatever I did to make you doubt me. This shouldn’t have happened. This is so goddamn pointless… You’re a good man, buddy. You have more to offer the world than me, so I don’t even understand this. I love you, man. I don’t even understand this,” he whispered, shaking his head. He rested his forehead on Beck’s chest and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
He had to leave before he broke something. The numbness and confusion were being replaced with bitterness and rage. He walked out the door, wanting to look back at his best friend one more time but not able to. The nurse said something to him but he ignored her. He found his own way to the waiting room and pushed through the doors, ready to rush for the exit so he could punch a wall.
But Teague and Camryn were there at the reception counter and they saw him. Jay stopped, even though he didn’t want to, and then he saw Melanie step out from behind them. They were all staring at him with pity and sadness and he just couldn’t take it.
He made a move for the exit as fast as he could.
“Jay, wait,” Teague said.
“No, just leave me alone.”
“Don’t drive, okay? Let me take you home.”
“I’m not going home.”
Teague paused as he walked with Jay to his car. “I’m sorry about Beck, I really am,” he finally said.
“Yeah, well, not as sorry as me. Just leave me the fuck alone, okay? I don’t need your counseling or your sympathy.”
Teague didn’t reply as Jay climbed into the Nova. He left him standing in the parking lot and didn’t look back.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“It’s been three days,” Melanie said, finally breaking the silence in Jay’s living room.
Tyse only looked at her because he’d obviously run out of things to say about it. Jay hadn’t come home the night he left the hospital. He would only answer one text a day and that consisted of “I’m fine.” She had even called him and left voicemails, but he never called back. She had no idea what to think and it was scaring her.
“Well the funeral is tomorrow morning. I’m betting he’ll be there since he’s one of the pallbearers,” Tyse finally said.
A tear slipped down her face. The news of Beck’s sudden death had shocked her to pieces, but to see the residual effects on Jay was heartbreaking. He was shutting everyone out, but what was worse, no one knew where he was at the moment. Teague had assured her he would find out for himself that Jay was okay, but it didn’t make her feel at ease. It killed her inside that he left the hospital that night without a word to her, but worse, he wouldn’t even call her.
“I can’t take this anymore,” she said. “I’m going to work early.”
“You still want to meet up later?”
“Yeah,” she sighed. Why not? Jay was most likely going to keep ignoring her, and she really needed a swim. She’d taken two days off of work, slept in Jay’s bed each night, and stuck around the house in case he came home. She was going stir crazy, but not only that, she just hated being without him.
She took her time heading to the salon but was still twenty minutes early. Even with Jay’s lack of communication, she sent him another text anyway. It said I miss you, and she never got a response from it. It hurt in a big way, but she had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t about her. He’d lost his best friend and he was shutting everyone out while he grieved.
At the end of the day, she desperately needed a swim. Tyse was already at his grandpa’s house, discussing some kind of project the McCallans were investing in. Melanie had no idea what they talked about sometimes but she knew it had to do with a recording studio. She spoke with Blaire for a few minutes before heading out to the pool. It was a nice evening for a swim, but the dreary feelings she felt made it seem more like a chore than something enjoyable.
“You look lonely,” a voice said.
Melanie rolled her eyes, knowing exactly who it belonged to. And Doyle always said that phrase to her, like he expected she would ask him to join her or something. She always tried to avoid the maintenance man’s nephew, even though he was kind of good looking.
Normally she would politely respond that she was just fine and liked the quiet, but she was feeling a bit irritable tonight. “If I wanted company, I would invite friends to join me. So no, I’m not lonely and quit asking me if I am.”
There wasn’t a response right away and Melanie felt uneasy about that. She chanced a glance Doyle’s way and realized he’d walked closer to the pool where she was swimming.
“Is that right?” he smiled at her smugly. “What if I joined you anyways?”
She eyed him carefully as she swam leisurely on her back toward the other side of the pool. “Then my quiet time would be over and I’d have to leave.”
“You’d leave if I swam with you? Wow, you’re a little bitch aren’t you,” he chuckled sarcastically. “You think you’re a McCallan just because you use their pool? Think again, princess. You’re just another cheap slut trying to get her claws on their money.”
“Sounds like someone wants to find a new job, huh?” Tyse said as he came from the back of the house. Melanie was relieved by his timing, especially because he was in just a pair of swim trunks that showed off his tattoos and physique just perfectly. He was definitely similar to Jay in that aspect, even down to the ear piercings, but he was intimidating in exactly the same way.
Doyle turned around with surprise but glared at him. “And you’re another one,” he laughed. “Thinking you belong here.”
Tyse smiled at him and said, “Last time I checked, my last name is McCallan. And even if it weren’t, you’d still be a classless piece of shit below me for calling a girl a bitch and a cheap slut. So no matter how you look at it, you need to be judging yourself instead of others.”
“Fuck off, asshole. It’s people like you that think you’re better than everyone else. I bet you haven’t worked a day in your life. You’ve probably been living off a hunk of hush money to keep one more bastard McCallan from—”
Tyse clocked him right in the face, knocking Doyle to his ass instantly. It made Melanie jump, and for some reason she quickly climbed out of the pool. Tyse was standing over Doyle but she pulled on his arm to keep him back.
“You don’t know a damn thing about me, so I suggest you shut your stupid mouth,” Tyse told him. “When you’ve been in the trenches of hell, let me know. Okay, princess?”
He took a step back, allowing Doyle to stand up. When he did, he didn’t say anything and just walked away.
Melanie let out a breath of air, glad for the quick ending to the altercation. A few months back—when Jordan had come to the house and made her fall on her arm and break it—Jay was not so forgiving. He’d literally yanked Jordan by the throat and threw him into the yard. They fought until neighbors came over to break it up, and then the cops were called.
“I’m sorry about that,” Tyse said, and he truly looked embarrassed.
Yes, Melanie was a bit surprised by his actions at first because he was such a mellow guy most of the time, but she knew he did not like to see women get mistreated like that, even if it was just words. She’d learned that of him the first time they’d even met.
“You don’t need to apologize,” she answered. “He’s a complete creeper and deserved it. Thank you for defending me, though.”
Tyse smiled and then laughed. “A creeper, huh? Sounds like he needs his ass kicked a few times. I’ll beat the creeper right out of him.”
“Good, then I won’t have to worry about him lurking around the pool whenever I’m here.”
“I’m surprised Jay allows that. Doyle obviously doesn’t know you two
are together because I seriously doubt he’d be hanging around you if he did.”
“Well Jay has only been here once with me, and I don’t think Doyle was here. But anyways…”
She sighed as she thought about Jay again. Even Tyse used the term “together” when it came to the two of them, but Melanie wasn’t so sure sometimes.
“How quick are your reflexes?”
Tyse raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
Thankful he was only two feet from the edge, Melanie pushed him as hard as she could into the pool. He made a huge splash and Melanie laughed as he surfaced. Before he could make a verbal response other than laughing with her, she jumped into the pool after him.
“A cannonball? Really?” Tyse chuckled.
“Hey, I do them well,” she replied, splashing him in the face.
“Yes. Yes, you do.”
***
“I feel awkward and out of place,” Melanie whispered to Camryn sitting next to her.
“Why? You know Beck and Kyle. And you’re here for Jay.”
Melanie sighed and looked at Jay standing next to the casket with Kyle and four other guys. It was such a depressing environment; sitting in a church she was unfamiliar with and seeing Jay for the first time since he left her in the middle of the night. He looked gorgeous in a black suit and tie, but the somber expression on his face was heartbreaking. He hadn’t even spoken to her, or she to him to respect his space, but all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and never let go.
“He’ll come around,” Camryn said, seeming to read her thoughts. “Jay keeps to himself when it comes to stuff like this. He’s outspoken in other aspects of his life, but this is not something he wants to deal with.”
“I know,” Melanie barely replied.
She faced forward and watched the pallbearers carefully lift the casket and carry it out the side doors for the hearse. Melanie sat in silence and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. She was sitting between her sister and Tyse; on the other side of Tyse was Kellie, and on the other side of Camryn was Teague.