“Then, you saw what happened to me?”
Hugging her knees tightly to her chest, Nessa rocked back and forth. Tears welling up in her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. “I healed you. I'm an empathic healer. I had to feel some of your pain. It hurt so bad. So bad. It hurt so bad.”
“Thank you.”
Talon put his hand on the bandages on my groin, wincing. Seeing his motion through her tears, Nessa's cheeks flushed.
“Am I a … Are my … parts … there or … gone?”
Nessa's entire face turned brilliant scarlet. “I ... I put them back.” She buried her face in her arms. “I healed them, as much as I could. I only touched it enough to heal it. REALLY!”
“How young are you?”
“I'm not a child. I'm sixteen, and I'm already working on college credits in school.” Nessa stared angrily at Talon, but the memory of what was done to him has slipped to the back of her mind for the moment.
“Eavesdropping is a bad habit, old man!”
Thorrin opened the door and walked into the cabin, an indignant frown on his face. “It's not eavesdropping, when I happen to hear what your saying while walking by.”
“You stopped walking three minutes ago.”
Thorrin shrugged and sat down. “I'm guessing that was Menton's work?”
“More or less. He gave the orders, but his ass-licking Thuggies did the dirty work. How long have I been out and what's happening at the Chamber of Transition?”
Thorrin sighed. “Five days since we cut you down. We have scouts watching the camp, it has turned into those sucking up to Menton and the slaves. The slaves are getting some pretty brutal treatment, but they won't fight back because they are scared of dying for real. Taereun: Battleground of the Damned may have been the most hardcore PvP game ever, but the players are mostly normal people. They are still afraid of dying. Some are even afraid of getting in a real fight without the pain dampers to shield them.”
“Faggots. That's why most of them sucked at the game. They were so scared, they would cower when they should fight. Even with the pain dampers at zero, getting punched in real life hurt worse than in the game.” Talon glared in the general direction of the wall, but his eyes were fixed on the past.
“You shouldn't talk bad about people. It's not like you've been punched a lot.” Nessa's tone was scolding, with a smug superiority in her eyes.
“I've been punched millions of times more, than you've kissed your boyfriend, and you probably haven't spread your legs for him even one-thousandth as many times as I've been in fights.”
Her face turns flaming scarlet again, and she cannot keep the pain out of her voice. “My parents are strict. I go to an all girls school and don't have a boyfriend.”
“Talon! She didn't deserve that. She's a really good girl. She won't stab you in the back like Selestra.” Thorrin paused for a moment. When he continued, his voice was subdued, he sounded tired. “Menton has Selestra. He's not being gentle with her.”
“I know. I fucked up. I didn't realize how far over the edge he was. I'm going to have to go in after her.”
“Is she your girlfriend?” Nessa asked in a small voice.
Talon stared wide-eyed for a moment, before bursting out laughing. “Girlfriend? I'm so fucking ugly I make girls cry. I know her in the real world. She's spoiled bitch who hates me, but I owe her father more than I can ever repay.”
“You're not really ugly, just a bit old.” Nessa's cheeks turned red again. Oh my god! What did I just say.
The mockery in Talon's laughter was directed at himself. “In real life, I look like a horror movie freak. Half my face looks melted wax and the other half . . . well, it's just normal ugly. I was in an accident when I was eleven years old. I was badly burned over half my body and the bones were mostly shattered in the other side of my head. It was months before I could leave the hospital.”
“I'm sorry.” Pity welled up in Nessa's eyes.
“Don't apologize for something that isn't your fucking fault.” Talon's tone was nasty.
“Talon, enough!” Thorrin's voice was hard and angry. “She didn't do anything wrong, so don't take you frustrations out on her.”
“Thank you for healing me. I owe you, but it's best if you stay away from me. I'm broken. The only thing I'm good at is hurting people. I don't need or want anyone's pity.”
“She's not ... Forget it.” Thorrin sighed. “So what about Selestra? Are you really going into the camp because of her father? Menton won't let you live, if he catches you. He won't let you die fast either. He's already had some players tortured as examples for the rest.”
Talon grunted. “Yeah, I'm going. I'll wait till I'm fully healed though. I might be crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid.”
“You haven't mastered your character's powers.”
Talon's eyes jerk toward Thorrin.
“I thought so. You should have been able to at least escape, before you were tortured. How are you going to free her if you can't use your powers?”
Talon shrugged. “I'll do what I need to. Have you forgotten my war with Thug Horde? I put a lot of effort into studying guerrilla tactics, while fighting them.”
Nessa filled bowls with food, from a kettle hanging on the fireplace.
“You need to eat, if you're going to heal. I can't do more with my healing magic.” Her fear of the pain inside Talon left a haunted shadow in her eyes.
Thorrin and Talon ate in silence, lost in their own thoughts.
Nessa sat off to the side not quite facing them. She watched Talon e out of the corner of her eye, but she looked away, when he turned in her direction. She was trying to reconcile the Talon here with the stories and the Talon she first saw. She could never forget the hero, that she first saw attacking Thug Horde, when they were torturing and killing a group of new players.
When he was finished, Thorrin stood up. “Nessa, let's give Talon some space. He doesn't spend much time around people. It's probably why he's such an asshole.”
Nessa frowned at Talon, before following Thorrin out of the cabin.
*** Swamp of the Lost (Bogwater) - Battleground of the Damned ***
Return: Day 5
Even though it is night, there are too many people on the street, but my aura drives them all away. I do not bother to control it, and people stare at me with mostly fear or hostility.
I do not know what I can do for Nessa. Throughout my time in the Lands of Despair, I kept her at arms length and then some. After seeing how callously I killed other players, she started to avoid me, as well. It was for the best. If Thug Horde knew about her, they would have used her to get to me. I do not want to know what choice I would make, if I had been forced to choose between saving her and saving Selestra.
Menton would have relished the chance to hurt Nessa, if the thought that would hurt me. Even if it would not hurt me, Menton would have the chance to rape and torture Nessa. She was only human. So, she was a bit plain for Menton's tastes, but he would have still used and broken her. He changed after the Great Fuck Over. He began to target attractive women of any and all species. It seemed the more exotic, the more inhuman as well, the more he went after them.
I could never have kept Nessa safe from Menton, if she entered his sight. I tortured and killed that fucking prick, piece of shit three times, and each time, he came back to life. I do not know how he managed it, but when I find out, I will make sure he stays dead the next time.
The Truth of Strength
*** Swamp of the Lost (Bogwater) - Battleground of the Damned ***
Return: Day 5
“Brand.” Jinmu's voice comes from a dark corner of the bar area in the inn.
It is close to the middle of the night, and I did not expect anyone from my party to still be awake this late. Unfortunately, I did not find any cutpurses or footpads stupid enough to attack me. I still need someone to work off my aggression on.
I sit down next next to Jinmu, at the bar. He has a glass of wine in front of him.<
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“Ale.” I tell the bartender when he comes over, and drop a silver coin on the bar.
After the bartender leaves my drink and my change, Jinmu uses English. “Do you mind if I ask, what is your real relationship with Delilah's daughter?”
I laugh bitterly, a sound without humor or joy. “I owe her as much as you, maybe more, so I kept her as distant as possible. I always dreaded what would happen if Menton found out about her. He wouldn't have hesitated to use Nessa against me, and she's … I guess you could say she's a good girl.”
Jinmu's laugh is strange. “What Nessa did for you?”
“After the Great Fuck Over, Menton caught me early on. He castrated and crucified me. Nessa healed me, but she's an empathic healer. She had to live through all of my pain to heal me. No one else has done something like that for me. I don't even know how to begin repaying the debt.”
“Brand, I know that your need to pay the debts you feel you owe will separate our paths. I only ask you lend me your strength, until the inevitable parting of ways.”
A slight smile touches my lips. “You don't have to ask. You saved me. You gave me back my sanity and my life. After my aunt gave custody over me to the state, I was already half-insane from their constant medical experiments. Everything was for the advancement of medical science, they didn't give a fuck what I overheard. They didn't even see me as human. Those bastard doctors were surgically removing scar tissue, then using drugs and poisons, to try an break down my body's resistance to nano-surgery. If you hadn't used your connections to force that hospital to release me, their tests would have killed me.”
Jinmu stares into his wine. “I am sorry it took me so long. I was so focused on running my companies, that I did not notice how much time had passed. It was not until I inquired of Karen about why you had not returned to the dojo that I learned she had given custody over you to the state. After her reaction to your scars, I was a fool to not realize something was wrong.”
“I'm not your child. It wasn't your responsibility to look after my welfare.”
“Your father was not just an employee. He was my friend, one of the few people I ever trusted. I should have been more responsible in looking out for you.”
After returning to this body, my relationship with Urehara-sensei changed. Since he has passed on his responsibilities and put aside his old life to become Jinmu, he has changed, as well. Still, we both have retained our obligations to the other, and maybe, we have something new. I am not sure what having a friend really means, but maybe, this is the beginning of a friendship. Thorrin was the closest I ever came, but I always kept him at a distance. I was afraid to get too close. There was always the fear of betrayal.
Before the accident, there were other children who pretended to be my friend, but it was just to set me up. They were afraid of the bullies and only approached me to avoid being bullied themselves. I learned not to trust people. Or maybe I should say, I learned to trust people to use and betray others for their own benefit.
“I believe I already know the answer, but was Mei involved in your being caught by Thug Horde?”
I shrug. “It was my own stupidity that let them catch me.”
“Was Mei involved in or responsible for your murder?”
I let out a sigh. “Not directly. Not as far as I know. She just asked me to tank for her guild, but I don't think there was any ulterior motive of that nature behind it.”
“Do you mind telling me exactly what happened?”
I shrug. “As near as I can piece it together, Mei's friend Jenny Burning cut a deal with the leader of a pretty hard core raid guild. Deathmeister, the guild leader, and I have a hatred that goes back to the last Noobageddon. He was a Thug back then. After they got me, I spent over six months fucking them every way I could, I crucified Deathmeister five times in that war. After he left Thug Horde, I fucked his world another three or four times. He really had shitty luck, when it came to crossing me. When I find him again, I'm going to give him a final reminder of just how bad his luck is.
“The one who actually killed me was was that piece of shit, Jonny Hertzog. Mei was not directly involved, but she had to know what was going down.”
Jinmu sighs. “As much as I hate to admit it, in my heart, I already knew that Mei was a bitch. Please, do not go out of your way for her ever again. Even if she dies, I will not blame you. Mei and her welfare are my problem.”
Jinmu rests his hand on my shoulder. “You are the most honorable man I have ever met. But your honor is too strong, it is so strong that it is self-destructive. You take on debts that are not really debts. I do not feel that you owe me anything. That girl, Nessa, probably does not believe that you owe her a debt either. If you keep following your sense of honor so rigidly, you will die.”
Once I start laughing, I cannot stop. I laugh so hard, tears run down my cheek and my stomach actually starts to cramp. “I'm not honorable. I've lied, stolen, tortured and murdered. I've broken people in body and mind simply for crossing me. I've committed almost ever crime under any sun except rape, and I've thought about that one a few times too.”
“There is a difference between law-fearing and honorable. Most men who are called honorable are simply law-fearing. Honor is something a man lives. A man does not brag about it, swear on it, or curse others for compromising it. Men who do so are just prideful and arrogant.”
I drink some of my ale, to give myself time to think. Since living in a Half-Dvergar body, I seem to have acquired a taste for beer and ale.
I disagree with Jinmu, but I am not going to argue with him. I am anything but honorable. If the trail of corpses in my wake could talk, they would be able to tell him that I have no honor. I simply owe him more than anyone except Nessa. How do you repay someone when you owe them your life and your sanity?
“What the fuck are you? I don't understand you at all. You come here in your real bodies. You go on about honor, murder and torture like normal people talk about the weather. You're both insane!” Perzey's face is twisted into a humorous mask of confusion. I was not paying enough attention to our surroundings, so I do not know how much she heard.
Looking at her, I shrug. “What's to understand? I don't belong on Earth. I can't survive in that insane asylum any longer, at least without killing the inmates. I probably don't belong here either, but it's still better than Earth.”
“You're insane. You really are insane.” Perzey's voice is a horrified whisper.
Jinmu and I look at each and burst out laughing. There is no anger or bitterness, but neither is there joy. The ironic humor in this situation is just too overwhelming for us to remain silent.
After we have recovered some semblance of decorum, Jinmu turns to Perzey. “You should get some sleep. Our business here is done. We will have a long day of travelling tomorrow.”
A darkness fills her eyes, and her voice turns cold. “No. We aren't done. The Thugs that killed Rachael are still out there.”
I turn back to my ale. “We don't know where they went and I don't intend to waste time hunting down some minor trash.”
“I know where they are. I saw them leaving town, while we were shopping.”
I glance at Jinmu, and he shrugs. “It is your choice. How do want to deal with this?”
I look at Perzey, and she manages to hold my eyes, without looking away. The hunger I saw earlier is muted but not entirely gone, and there is something else in her eyes that I cannot figure out.
“If you want to hunt the Thugs, just the two of us are going. I'm not getting the rest involved in your personal vendetta. If you don't agree, you can run off by yourself and get raped or dead, for all I care. If the others are stupid enough to follow you, the same applies to them.”
Perzey glares at me. “You really are a fucking bastard, you know that don't you?”
“Sorry, my parents were together until their deaths. I know who my father is. Can you say the same?”
She flinches at my words. Like most people, she just uses the
usual insults and curses, without ever thinking about the real meanings. Whatever the shadow in her eyes might have been, it is gone, and only the hunger and hatred remain.
“Fine. I'll go put on my gear.”
After Perzey disappears upstairs, Jinmu raises one eyebrow. “Can you defeat eight Thugs alone?”
My smile is predatory. “I don't know what's going on, but I'm way the hell stronger than I thought I was. You are too. Either us is more than a match for a dozen low grade trash, and any Thugs this far out in ass-fuck nowhere, running errands for the frog, are nothing but trash.
“Besides, this will give me a chance to understand, why she's so weak. I've got a general idea, but I need to see her in a real fight. I think she has a strong air affinity, so she should be a fairly strong fighter, but instead, she's weak. They all are. They all got trashed by trash. Maybe, I can fix her at least.”
We turn our attention to our drinks, each thinking his own thoughts.
“Helen, wait!” It is Harkins' voice, coming from the stairs.
“Helen is dead, Bob. Just like Bob is dead. I can't be Helen ever again. I'm Perzey now. I'm going to avenge Rachael, so don't get in my way.”
“But you can't run off with that freak. He's dangerous. You don't know what he might do.”
“Of course, he's dangerous. He's a fucking mass murderer. Are you too stupid to figure it out? Did you see the look in his eyes, when Delilah was talking about her daughter? He's Talon, and I'm going to use him to get revenge for what those fuckers did to Rachael.”
Jinmu pulls me into a private group within our raid. *Now, that is surprising. I thought she was a simple, self-absorbed bimbo.*
*She is a self-absorbed bimbo, but she's a self-absorbed bimbo that wants payback. It's my own fault, she figured it out. I was too careless. Besides in the end it doesn't really matter if people know I'm Talon. I'm a natural at making enemies, so no matter what, I will be hated and hunted. At worst you'll have to disassociate yourself from me to build you empire.*
Path of Transcendence 1: Ultimatum of the Nameless God Page 22