by Tom Gallier
Intellect: 95
Spirit: 70
Constitution: 93
Mana: 85
Inventory: (Click to View/Hide)
Player Kills: 3
"Stupid liches ain't got no money," Rand said. "I need more shekels! Ale doesn't buy itself in this world."
That wasn't a good sign. When the sentient guards of a dungeon didn't drop coins that usually didn't bode well for there being much, if any, treasure in a dungeon. Killum wondered if the designers were just sadistic bastards or something. There might be some players in the Game who just wanted to just grind and level up, but it was a For Profit business, so they needed to win some coin to buy the good shit. Of course, that meant they'd have to spend RL money to buy better weapons, potions, and such.
Greedy bastards, he thought, looking up to the heavens.
"Do we want to continue?" Tiana asked. "If we're not going to win any wealth or magical items, why bother?"
Everyone turned to glower at Rand.
"Hey! I'm a victim here, too."
"We're here," Killum said. "We might as well grind it out and get some experience. Hell, I just leveled up. Maybe I can get another level out of this dungeon. And, I did get a sweet pair of enchanted braces. It won't be a total bust."
"You're a silver-tongued demon," Asha said, shaking her head woefully. "Such an inspiring leader."
"Ha-ha," he replied. "And it's silver-tongued devil. Devil. Demons are different."
Her brow furrowed and her eyes went blank. Killum grinned. It wasn't often he made her zone out and go check a dictionary or something online. Of course, now he had to wait for her to rejoin them before they entered the dungeon.
Tiana walked over to peer into the Stygian darkness of the cave. She caught Killum's attention when she stiffened.
"Oh no," the thief said. Then she sang, "I don't like spiders and snakes, and that's not what it takes to love me."
"Spiders?" Asha asked. "Eww."
"Big spiders," Tiana said. "Like the size of dogs."
"Aaagggh," the sorceress cried, cringing and shaking her hands. "Do we have to?"
Killum was kind of agreeing with them. He'd fight goblins, liches, and even giant ogres all day, but spiders and snakes? He joined Tiana at the entrance.
"Okay, it's not too bad," he said. "Yes, I can see creepy crawlers in there, and they're big, but I can also see the entrance to the first chamber. The Game usually puts one type of barrier monster in the tunnels, and different ones in the rooms. I say we run like hell through the tunnel and get to the first chamber with minimal contact with the spiders and snakes."
"Is that all we have to do?" Fergus said. "You make it sound so easy."
"We've fought spiders and snakes before," Rand said. "They die beneath my axe just as nicely as other monsters. I say we go in."
"I'm in," Tiana said, touching her hood. "They can't bite me if they can't see me."
Killum looked back and forth between Fergus and Asha. It took a long moment, but they reluctantly nodded.
"Great. You won't regret it," he said.
"Wanna bet?" Fergus whispered. He looked into the entrance again. "Holy shit. That spider is as big as a Chihuahua."
"It's one of the smaller ones," Tiana said.
"Oh, shut up!" Asha cried. She turned hostile eyes on Killum. "You owe me for this."
"I'll lead the way," Killum said. "Then Tiana, Rand, Asha, and Fergus. Have your anti-venom potions ready." He paused, glancing around. "Everyone does have anti-venom potions, right?"
They all nodded. He smiled encouragement, and stepped up to the entrance. A sword would be all but useless in those close quarters, so he left his sheathed at his hip. Checking his weapon cache, Killum chose a pair of elven fighting knives. They were curved, razor sharp, and would pierce just about any armor. But first, he gathered up a big-ass fireball.
Right hand glowing with red fire, "Ready?"
When everyone nodded, he threw the fireball into the entrance and shouted a short spell to multiply its power. It exploded inside, filling the tunnel with arcane flames for a good ten seconds. As soon as the flames winked out of existence, Killum shouted in revulsion and charged in.
He stepped on charred, dead spiders, sending viscous ichor flying in all directions. Chitinous bodies crunched underfoot as he ran. He heard groans and grunts of disgust behind him as the others followed. Spiders and snakes began coming out of every nook and cranny. They fell from cracks above.
Killum cried out as he slashed and stabbed. One spider landed on his head, and for a second insane panic consumed him. He returned to his senses a second later to find himself covered in slimy spider ichor and the ten-pound spider twitching at his feet. He stomped on it, to finish it off, and continued running. A snake bit his left leg, and a spider chomped down on his right arm. The leg and arm both went numb, forcing him to limp furiously for the light at the end of the tunnel.
If I die like this, he thought. I'm going to be so pissed.
The end of the tunnel came closer and closer. Killum redoubled his efforts, slashing and stabbing and stomping on spiders and snakes. He received more bites, and all four limbs were getting numb, heavy, and it was getting harder to wield his killing blades. And then everything opened up. He was inside a chamber lit by glowing green lichen. His eyes locked on what guarded the tunnel across the chamber, leading down to the next chamber of the dungeon.
"Holy crap, the mother of all spiders!"
It was the size of a horse. Killum just gawked at it. Asha made a sound like she was throwing up in her mouth. Fergus cussed a blue streak, and Tiana whimpered. And then Rand bellowed in fear and rage, and charged across the chamber.
"Die! Die!" Rand screamed. His battle-axe flashed, sending ichor splashing against the ceiling and walls, and the others. He chopped a leg off, but the humongous spider's other legs pinned the dwarf to the ground, kicking and screaming. "Kill it! Kill it now!"
Killum dropped his knives and pulled the Power Sword. He activated its magic, even as Asha hit the monster spider with a mana draining lightning bolt. The spider shook that off, and then lowered his snapping mandibles. The battle-mage saw yellowish venom dripping off the mandibles as they got closer to Rand's struggling body.
"Not on my watch!" Killum shouted, swinging his enchanted blade.
He aimed for and hit the mandibles. The sharp fang on one mandible shattered, and the sword's magic zapped the spider. The ugly beast gave a pained squeal as it flew off Rand. It rolled up in a ball for a second, and then slowly regained its seven remaining feet. A hundred implacable eyes stared at Killum, as its remaining mandible moved back and forth. Venom sizzled on the ground beneath it.
Fergus stepped up and loosed a dozen arrows into the monster spider's chitinous face. Even though the arrows were infused with explosive magic, they just ricocheted off.
"Aim for that big soft ass," Rand said.
And that did it. The first arrow ripped into the monster's bulbous abdomen. It exploded with gory glory, sending the spider's innards all over the chamber. Fergus shot three more empowered arrows into it, until there was nothing left of the abdomen but some tattered scraps.
The mother of all spiders rolled over, legs curling up in death.
"I hope this isn't one of those dungeons we have to fight our way out of, too," Tiana said.
Killum gave her a dirty look. "Don't jinx us."
"Out of my way!" Asha cried, pushing between Fergus and Killum. "Let's finish this and get back to Uhrs. I need a drink."
She'd never said that before, as far as Killum could recall. Also, the drinks in virtual reality might make your character stagger, but they had no effect on the player's real sobriety.
The rest of them followed her to the other tunnel. Everyone drank anti-venom potions, health restorative potions, and ate healing herbs. Killum immediately started feeling better, and his health, strength, endurance, and stamina began ticking up. It was still too soon to take another mana restoring potion, an
d he'd used up a little more than half of his mana already.
"I always thought Indians weren't allowed to drink," Rand said.
"Some aren't," Asha said. "And actually, I'm not supposed to, but you know. I do."
Killum envisioned the beautiful Indian sipping wine in some fashionable Manhattan sidewalk café. Then he remembered she always ordered beer with a vodka chaser at the pub.
"Are you really from India?" Tiana asked.
Asha paused, giving the thief an almost embarrassed look. She hesitated, shrugged.
"Well, actually I was born in India, but my family immigrated to the UK when I was a child," she said. "In real life I have an amazing English accent."
"Why aren't you speaking with an accent now?" Fergus asked.
"I am, but the Game changes it to American English for some reason," she said. Asha winked at him. "Hate the Game, not the player." She looked everyone over. "Who has the most health?"
"Why?" Killum asked.
"We need a tank to lead the way," she said. "Are you volunteering, fearless leader?"
Everyone looked at him. Killum sighed and nodded. "I'm not your meat shield, but I'll lead the way. Follow me."
Chapter 4
The battle-mage entered the next tunnel, which was a little bigger and a lot longer. It twisted and turned, going up and down, but with a mostly downward direction. There were just enough torches to dimly light it. Killum spoke a spell, and a gemstone in the middle of his breastplate threw out a beam of light like a flashlight. The tunnel was clear until he rounded the first turn.
Goblin Warrior (Lvl 7).
And there were four of them. "Yee-hai!"
Killum charged in, swinging left and right, spinning and kicking. He took the arm off one goblin, and then cleaved the head of another in two. Rand slipped by him to engage the third, while Asha hit the fourth goblin with a fireball, at the same time Fergus feathered him with three arrows. At that moment Rand smashed the last living goblin's short sword aside, and was about to deliver the killing blow, when Tiana appeared behind the mob and slit his throat.
"You stole my kill!" Rand bellowed. "Foul! Foul!"
"Since I killed him, it was my kill," Tiana said. "You lag, you lose, little man."
"Burn," Asha teased, and gave Tiana a high-five.
Killum paused to console Rand, promising there would more goblins to kill, while Asha took the lead. Rand grumbled, but followed Tiana and Fergus.
"I thought I was your tank, Asha," Killum called.
She was already out of sight around the next bend, as was Tiana. Fergus was taking his time following to the point where Rand was trying to push past him.
"She's a glory monger," Fergus said, stopping to let Rand pass. "Let her be the tank for a while."
The sound of clashing steel and booming fireballs filled the tunnel. Killum and the ranger looked at each other, and then took off to join the fight. You didn't level up by letting others do all of the fighting.
He stopped in his tracks when he rounded the corner. Asha had a goblin in a headlock, while keeping two others at bay with her kicking feet. Tiana was riding another's back, while stabbing him over and over again. Rand was surrounded by five of the little monsters, all of them bleeding from numerous wounds.
Asha released the goblin, just to grab his head between her hands. She spoke a short spell, and – Ka-boom! His head exploded, splattering her with bone fragments, blood, and brains. Then she pulled her elven sword and tore into the other two goblins.
Fergus started shooting arrows into the goblins around Rand, so Killum charged into the fray with his sword flashing red death. Well, purple death since it was goblins. In nothing flat they slaughtered the ugly little mobs.
"I told you it would be fun," Killum said, and took off down the tunnel before Asha could take the lead again. "The glory is all mine!"
"Like hell it is," she said, following on his heels. "I just need a few more points to level up."
They ran into another chamber, well lit by torches. A dozen lich warriors stood in line before them, with a gorgeous blonde vampire priestess behind. She wore a clingy, silky black gown under a hooded cloak. Her full red lips curled into a cruel smile, long white fangs peeking out.
"Ah, dinner has arrived," the vampire priestess purred. "I'm famished."
Killum paused to gawk. His first character in Realm of Battle was caught by a vampire. That redheaded beauty bit him, and thus turned his character into her minion. He spent a week trying to escape her, but finally gave up and abandoned that character.
"Don't let the vamp bite you," Rand shouted.
"Ah, my appetizer," the vampire beauty said. "Dwarf blood is like wine on my lips."
"Bite this," Asha snarled, and held out her sword horizontal to the floor. She spoke the spell, and the blade spun out of her hand. "Die!"
The other players charged toward the lich warriors. Killum aimed for a spot between two of them. He watched the vampire dodge Asha's spinning sword, and tried to smash through the liches' line to get at the priestess. The two liches closed ranks with each other, foiling his plan. So Killum kicked out with his right foot, passed through the empty air where the lich's belly should be, and connected with its spine.
To his surprise, the spine snapped in two. The lich died immediately, falling into a pile of bones and weapons. The other lich backhanded the battle-mage when he paused for self-congratulations. The sword flew from his fingers as the Killum stumbled back. The lich and two others came at him with naked steel and shields.
"Got you!" the vampire priestess cried, leaping over the stalking liches.
Killum rolled to the side, scrambling away as the vampire turned towards him. She smiled with insane delight and followed fast on his heels. The liches all veered to the side to cut him off, so Killum dove between the legs of two of them.
He rolled right into the pile of bones.
"A-ha!" the battle-mage cried, leaping to his feet with a thigh bone in one hand and the round shield in the other. "Come and get me, Vampi."
The vampire cut right, moving with amazing speed despite the tall heels on her feet. One of the liches threatening him burst into flames. The vampire laughed.
"Missed again, elfmaid!" the vampire priestess taunted. "I'm going to eat you next, right after this delicious looking battle-mage. And then you'll both join the ranks of my lich guard!"
Can she turn my character into a lich? Killum thought. If she did, then he'd be forced to abandon a level 36 battle-mage. That would put him way behind the others. Rand and Tiana had recently both lost characters permanently, so were forced to start leveling back up. It could be weeks before they caught up with the others. That can't happen to me. I fought too hard to reach the level I am now.
He juked right, and went left. The vampire took the bait, allowing him to flank her. Killum swung the thigh bone cudgel with all his might, connecting with the back of her head. The vampire cried out, but only dropped on one knee.
"Ouchie," she said, that scary smile back on her too beautiful face. "I like it when my dinner plays rough."
"Son of a bitch, someone help me kill this monster," Killum called.
The vampire priestess launched herself through the air. Twenty feet in two seconds, and she was on him. Killum thought fast, and swung the shield. He caught her in the shoulder, batting her to the side. Then two liches were on him, front and back.
"I got her," Asha shouted. "Fergus, help me. Stake her heart with an arrow."
The chamber was loud with the clashing of steel weapons, grunts and groans. The liches fought in eerie silence, but not the vampire. She cursed, kicked, and scratched at Asha, who was clearly struggling to hold her down. Fergus was tied up with a lich warrior, so couldn't help.
Killum sent a roundhouse into the head of one lich, and then smashed off the jawbone of the next. "I'll be right there, Asha! Hang on!"
Asha squeaked, and then cried out in alarm. "Help!"
He slanted a look that way. Asha was
caught, and the vampire priestess was pulling her head back by her hair while opening wide to bite the sorceress. The battle-mage grabbed the lich attacking him, spun around with it, and threw the skeletal monster into the vampire. Then he charged up and whacked the vampire priestess in the back of the head.
Killum held out a hand toward Fergus. "Quick. Give me an arrow."
The elven ranger tossed him an arrow, and the battle-mage savagely thrust it through the vampire priestess' heart.
She looked surprised, and then locked eyes with him, and smiled cruelly. "You're going to be sorry I didn't stop you."
And then she turned to dust. Poof. Just like that. Nothing left but a pile of gray dust and black silk. Then he noticed a pulsing read crystal half-buried by the dust pile.
"Don't touch that," Asha warned. "It's pure evil. It might turn you to the Dark."
Killum used a rib bone to get it out of the dust. Asha got that vacant look in her eyes that said she was checking it out. So he concentrated on it, too.
Heart of the Vampire. Subjugate and control your minions. Must be aligned Dark to use, minimum Level 25.
"Yeah, that might be enough to turn someone Dark," he said. "But still, we'll figure a way to take it back to Uhrs. I bet we can sell it for a fortune."
"Only if we can safely transport it," the sorceress said. "But let's finish the dungeon off first. How many levels can it have?"
"One too many, if I'm any judge," Fergus said.
"Nope," Tiana said.
The little thief was across the chamber, picking at an evil looking mosaic design on the wall behind where the vampire priestess originally stood. It looked like a stylized eight-headed dragon surrounded by flames.
"I think this is the treasury or something," Tiana said, still picking away with her dagger. Then it suddenly crumbled to reveal a small chamber lit by blood red torches. There was a black altar against the far wall. "Okay, maybe not treasure."