“I know that.” She fiddled with strands of her hair. “I never thought I’d see Sam again. And I certainly never thought he’d find out about Duke.”
“Sydney, you had to consider the possibility.”
“He says he tried to look me up after that first night.”
“It’s not surprising that he didn’t find you, especially if he didn’t look too hard. You were on bed rest for a lot of the pregnancy and you got off the rodeo circuit for over a year after that.”
“I know.” She shook her head. “I had no idea he’d want to see me again. I mean, I figured it was just a one night thing for him.”
“Was it that for you?”
She shook her head again. “No. Please believe me, Daddy, it was my first and last one-night stand.”
“So you thought he was special, then?”
“Yes, I did, and I was right. He is special. And I’ve blown it for eternity.”
“I won’t sugar coat it, baby girl. You have made a mess of things. Not only for yourself and your mama and me, but mostly importantly for your innocent baby brother.”
“I know. And I know we can’t tell him what’s going on. He won’t understand.”
“No, he won’t.”
“Oh, Daddy, what am I going to do?”
“I think you need to talk to Sam. Tell him the truth, exactly what you just told me.”
“Will you come with me?”
Roy shook his head. “You’re a grown-up, Sydney. You need to do this yourself. Clean up your own mess. Once we see how he reacts, I will certainly get involved, but for now, he deserves to hear the truth from you.”
Sydney nodded. Her father was right, of course. “I will call him.”
“No.”
“No?”
“You will drive over to the McCray ranch and see him face-to-face, Sydney. That’s the only way. He deserves that much.”
“Okay.”
There was only one problem.
Sam would not want to see her, let alone listen to her. But she’d cross that bridge when she got there. She looked around for her purse as her father opened the door to leave.
Standing in the doorway was Carrie, holding a listless Duke.
“Roy, there’s something very wrong.” Tears welled in her eyes. “He’s burning up, and look at him! He’s hardly moving.”
“Now, Carrie, don’t fret. He’s probably just tired.”
“Feel his forehead, damnit.”
Sydney ran toward them while her father kissed the little boy’s forehead.
“Hmm, he is pretty hot,” Roy said. “Did you bring a thermometer with you?”
“No, I didn’t. I don’t usually travel with one. My God, what kind of mother am I?”
“You’re a great mother, Mama,” Sydney said. “We’ll just go on down to the pharmacy and get a thermometer and some children’s ibuprofen, okay? He’ll be fine.”
“You two don’t understand. This isn’t a normal fever. He’s had fevers before. A mother knows her child.”
Sydney’s heart jumped. She should be the one knowing when Duke was sick. She was his mother.
No. She was his sister. The woman holding him, crying over him, was his mother.
What was she going to do? If her parents lost Duke to Sam, they’d be devastated. It would be all her fault. Either her parents would hate her or Sam would.
No matter. Duke was the important thing right now.
“Okay, Mama. There’s a doctor’s office on Main Street. Let’s just go on over there and see if he can take a look.”
Carrie nodded. “I’d feel much better if we could have a doc look at him, Roy.”
“All righty then, let’s do it. Here, give him to me.” Roy took the floppy little boy and the three of them drove the five blocks to Main Street.
They went in. “It’s nearly six o’clock,” the nurse said. “We’re closing soon.”
“Please,” Carrie begged, “could he look at my son? He’s burning up, and he’s not acting right.”
The nurse smiled. “Of course. Doc Larson never turns away a child in need. Wait here and I’ll let him know you’re here.”
In a few moments, a bespectacled gray-haired man appeared. “Hello there. Bring the tyke on back and let’s have a look.”
“You stay here, Syd,” Roy said.
“Please, let me,” she begged. “He’s—”
“All right. I understand.” The three of them accompanied the doctor to an examining room.
“Hello, little fella,” Doc said. “What’s your name?”
“He’s not very responsive,” Carrie said.
“Can you tell the doc your name, son?” Roy asked.
“Duke,” he said softly, his little boy treble stabbing Sydney’s heart. How had she given up her baby?
“Duke, I’m going to have your daddy put you on the table here, okay?”
“’Kay.”
Roy laid the little boy on the examining table, and Doc Larson inserted a thermometer in his ear. When it dinged, he looked at it and frowned.
“What?” Carrie asked frantically.
“Nearly 105. Is he prone to high fevers?”
“Not usually.” Carrie’s voice shook. “He usually never goes above 103, and that’s only when he’s really sick.
“Well, that alone isn’t a huge worry,” Doc said. “It’s probably just a virus. I’ve seen some nasty ones going around. Let’s get his shirt off and take a look and a listen.”
Carrie pulled Duke’s T-shirt over his head.
Doc put his stethoscope in his ears and placed the bell on Duke’s chest. Then he turned. “How did he get this bruise?”
“What bruise?” Carrie asked.
“This one.” Doc indicated a quarter-size bruise on Duke’s side.
“I’m not sure. We were at the rodeo all morning, till about two.”
“How was he at the rodeo?”
“A little cranky. And he didn’t seem to sleep well last night. Tossed and turned a lot.”
“Can we get the rest of his clothes off? I want to take a look.”
“Of course.”
Duke whimpered as Carrie undressed him. Doc Larson took a look.
“Here’s another bruise on his thigh, but I don’t see any more. Has he fallen in the last day or so?”
“Not that I recall,” Carrie said.
“Is he an unusually rowdy and rambunctious little boy?”
Roy wiped his forehead with a bandana. “He’s a little boy, Doc. Of course he’s rowdy and rambunctious. But he’s been a little under the weather the past few days. We thought he was just catching a cold, but this fever’s got us worried.”
“Duke,” Doc said, “see this bruise on your leg here?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you remember how you got it? Did you fall down? Did something hit you in the leg?”
“I don’t know.”
“You can’t remember anything that would have made you get a bruise?”
“No.”
“It’s okay, precious,” Carrie said, rubbing his back. “So what do you think, Doc?”
Doc Larson’s face was stern. “Honestly, it’s probably nothing. As I said, there’s some nasty crud going around right now. Viruses that cause fever and aches. I’ve seen a lot of kids with it. But Duke’s fever is darned high.”
“So what do we need to do?”
“I’m going to give him a little something to get the fever down, that’s for sure, but I gotta say, I don’t like those bruises.”
“Little boys get bruises.”
“You’re traveling, though, and he’s been in your sight at all times since you’ve been here, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then you or he should know how he got those bruises.”
“It’s only two bruises,” Carrie said, her voice still shaking.
Sydney’s heart dropped to her belly.
Fever. Bruising.
Leukemia.
“I think w
e can let it go for twenty-four hours,” Doc said. “I want to see him again tomorrow. The ibuprofen should get the fever down. Repeat the dosage every six hours. Keep liquids in him and make sure he gets lots of rest.”
“Doc?” Sydney stepped forward.
“Yes, young lady?”
“I think you should know something.”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Both his paternal grandmother and aunt had—oh God—leukemia.”
Carrie’s hands whipped to her mouth. “Sydney, what are you talking about?”
Doc Larson’s expression went grave.
“Carrie, take Duke out of here,” Roy said.
“Roy—”
“Just do it, please. I’ll explain everything as soon as I can.”
Carrie dressed Duke quickly and left the room.
“Doc, Duke is not my wife’s and my biological child. He’s our grandchild. May I speak confidentially?”
“Absolutely,” Doc said.
“Sydney is his mother, and the father is a man named Sam O’Donovan.”
“Sam? I know his sister, Dusty, well.” Doc’s face went white. “Dear Lord.”
“That’s why I told you,” Sydney said. “I’m so afraid.”
Doc scribbled some notes on a pad and handed it to Roy. “Take the boy to Denver. He needs some blood work pronto.”
“Okay, Doc. We’ll take him first thing in the morning.”
Doc’s eyes softened as he touched Roy’s arm. “Take him now.”
Chapter Ten
The dinner at Dusty’s with Thunder Morgan had been pleasant. He regaled them with tales of his bronc busting days, and Sam smiled and laughed, almost forgetting about Sydney and Duke.
But not quite.
Now they sat in the family room, having an after dinner drink.
“Thunder,” Dusty said, “would you mind telling Sam a little about you and Amber?”
Sam jerked his head. Amber was Thunder’s daughter, right? Why would Dusty think he needed to know anything about that?
“Not at all,” the man said. “What would you like to know?”
The woman was about to be married to Harper Bay. Surely Thunder couldn’t think Sam was interested in her. What the hell was Dusty doing?
“I’m not sure what I want to know myself,” Sam said. “What are you getting at, Dust?”
“It’s common news around here, and neither Thunder nor Amber mind talking about it. I thought their circumstances might interest you.”
“Uh, well—” Sam didn’t want to be rude, but he couldn’t imagine why he’d be interested in their “circumstances.”
“Sam has had an issue come up in his life, and I think he’d benefit by hearing about you and Amber.”
“All right.” Thunder cleared his throat. “I only met my beautiful daughter a little over two months ago.”
Sam jerked forward. “What?”
“Yup, it’s the truth. I had one night with her mother twenty-some years ago. I never even knew Amber existed till I met her.”
“And you’re sure she’s yours?”
“Absolutely.” He nodded. “I recalled her mother. And Amber, though she looks an awful lot like Karen, definitely has my eyes. That was all the proof I needed.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But Amber wanted to be sure. She didn’t want to force herself on me. Heck, she wasn’t forcin’ herself. I was glad to have her. Never did have a family of my own. But it was important to her, so we had a DNA test.”
“And she’s definitely yours?”
“Yep. Definitely. I couldn’t be happier or more proud to have her in my life.”
“Wow.” Not only was Thunder Morgan his all-time idol, but they had more than bronc busting in common.
“Dusty,” Zach interjected, “maybe we should let these two talk.”
“Oh, it’s okay,” Sam said. “I don’t mind if you’re here. I assume Dusty told you everything anyway, right?”
“Yes,” Zach said, “and I know you don’t have any secrets from your sister, but let’s give them a little privacy, okay, Dusty?”
She nodded. “We can go read Seanie a story.”
They left the spacious family room, leaving Sam alone with Thunder Morgan.
“So,” Thunder said, “I take it there’s a reason why your baby sis wanted you to know about Amber and me.”
“Yeah, there is.” Sam cleared his throat. “I’m kind of in a similar situation right now.”
“Well, son, don’t just sit there stuttering. Tell me what’s going on.”
He poured out the story of Sydney and Duke.
“In a way, you’re luckier than I was,” Thunder said. “You know about your boy now. I missed twenty-two years of my baby girl’s life, a life I could have helped make a lot better. She had some rough times.”
“What’s your relationship with Amber’s mother?”
“Well, that’s kind of a sad thing. Karen—that’s her name—isn’t well. She’s in rehab for alcoholism right now, and she’s also gettin’ psychotherapy and medication. She’s been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Amber didn’t have it easy, growin’ up with Karen. I feel a lot of guilt about not being there for her. Or for Karen, for that matter.”
“But did you even know you had a daughter?”
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. Evidently Karen tried to contact me after Amber was born, but I never got the message. I was livin’ with a woman at the time who told Karen never to call me again. The woman was obsessed with me. I later got a restraining order against her.”
“Wow.” Sam shook his head. “But you shouldn’t feel guilty. You didn’t even know she existed.”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s mine. I could have made her life easier.”
“Does she blame you?”
“No, absolutely not. She understands. She’s a wonderful young woman.”
“Then you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Thunder nodded. “Objectively I know that. But it’s easier said than done.”
The ache in Sam’s heart eased a little. But only a little. “At least I know my boy has had a good life so far.”
“That’s something to be said, for sure,” Thunder agreed.
“But I can’t help but be really angry,” Sam said. “I wasn’t even given a choice to be a part of his life.”
“Nor was I.”
“I know, I know. And you missed a lot more than I did. Don’t you resent Amber’s mother for not telling you?”
“Like I said, she tried to tell me once. The woman scared her enough to never try again. And Karen’s illness helped her keep that promise. She was paranoid.”
“I’m sorry you missed so much.”
“So am I. I feel a lot of guilt over Amber’s tough life. But she sets me straight. She’s so loving and giving. I wish I had been there for her when she needed me, but I’m here now, and right now, the best thing I can do for Amber is see that her mother gets the help she needs.”
“You’re a very forgiving man.”
“Nah, there’s nothin’ special about me. But when you get to a certain age, you realize that resentment only breeds more resentment. So I’ve chosen to focus on now. Amber still needs a father—maybe not the same way she did when she was a little girl, but she needs me. And I sure as heck need her.”
“What should I do? My son is only five. If I uproot him, he will suffer.”
“That’s a tough one, for sure,” Thunder said. “I wish I had an answer for you.”
Sam stood and paced in a circle. “I’m so angry.”
“I can’t tell you what to do about your son. My situation is totally different. Amber’s an adult and can make her own decisions. But I can give you this advice. Let the anger go, Sam. If you truly want a relationship with your boy, the anger will only hold you back.”
Sam walked to the bar and refreshed
his drink. “You need some more?” He held up the bottle of Scotch.
“Nope, I’m good for now.”
“I just wish I knew what to do.”
“Do you care for the child’s mother?”
Sam took a stiff belt of the Scotch. “I thought I did.”
“And now?”
“Now I don’t know. Sydney’s amazing, but she’s lied to me twice now.”
“Twice?”
“When I ran into her again at the rodeo a few days ago, we hooked up. After that, I learned she was engaged.”
“Oh, Jesus.”
“Yeah. He showed up while I was still in her room. She broke up with him and later told me she’d been planning to end it anyway, but still, it was dishonest.”
“Yes, it was.”
“But that was nothing compared to this. She’s kept my son from me for five years.”
“She may have had a reason. Have you asked her?”
“She can’t possibly have any reason that would make any sense.”
“She obviously didn’t keep the child. She let her mother and father adopt him.”
“Yeah. They legally adopted him. Dallas McCray looked into it. He called this morning with that piece of news. It might have been easier for me if they were just raising him and he was still legally Sydney’s child. It’d be easier for me to assert my parental rights in that case.”
“But now he has a legal mother and father who love him.”
“Yes, and more importantly, who he loves. What kind of horrid man would I be to take a baby away from his mom and dad?”
“I wouldn’t call you horrid.”
“I feel like one big asshole. But I want my child, Thunder.” He sat down and cupped his head in his hands. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“And as for Sydney?”
Sydney. What a mess. “A couple days ago I thought I was in love with her.”
“Love? In this short time?”
“Yes, damnit. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’ve never dated anyone who makes me feel the way she does. Or did. Or does. Aw hell, I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying.”
“Son, I’m going to give you some advice, and it’s up to you whether you take it.”
“All right. I’m listenin’.” Why not? He sure as hell didn’t know what to do. Maybe Thunder had some answers.
“I gave my life to the rodeo. Hell, I had my one nighters—that’s what Amber’s mother was. I’m not proud of it, but I was a young cowboy and women liked me. My life was on the road. I traveled all over and won purse after purse. I had a good life, had all I wanted, but it got mighty lonely comin’ home every night.”
Trusting Sydney: The Temptation Saga: Book Six Page 8