Laughter spread throughout the room.
I closed my eyes to break the connection and focused my mind outward instead of inward where my blood had pooled in one special place eagerly.
After a few focused breaths, my body felt warm again only this time easier to manage. The energy flowing through my veins wasn’t overwhelming. It was balmy. My skin tingled slightly as my magic started to build and filled me completely.
When my eyes opened, my gaze instantly hit Zia and Haven. “Er—why are you glowing?” Each of them had a shimmering light that danced around them. Probably best described as an aura—since I’m not clairvoyant I assumed it would look something like this.
Haven ran forward and threw herself into my arms—a perfect Haven hug. “You’re one of us now. I feel you in the sisterhood. Zia, she’s part of us now.” She squeezed harder and bounced up and down. “Oh, I’m just so happy, Nexi. I mean I didn’t care when you weren’t in the sisterhood, but now that you are everything is just so perfect.”
After I let her hug me a little longer I tapped her back. “Ahh…Haven, I think you have to let go so I can deal with this.”
“Oh right, save the hugs for later I guess.” She stepped back into Finn’s arms.
It was then that someone else appeared. Valor stood off to the side with Briggs. When I met his gaze, he said, “I am glad to see you safe.”
Without thought, I rushed toward him, wrapped my arms around his warm body. “Thank you, Valor. Without you none of this would have been possible.” He tensed at first, then softened, wrapping his arms around me. “The wolves never would have told us anything.” That was a fact. “I will be forever grateful to you.”
He chuckled deeply. “I accept your gratitude. It brings me much joy to see happiness returned to you.”
I stepped back a bit. “Anytime you need my help you only need to ask.”
He responded with a gracious nod.
Briggs did a little ahem, and when I met his gaze, he wore his usual mischievous grin. “Come on, you know I’m owed it. Pucker up. Let me see if those lips taste as good as they look.” He smiled big.
Kyden threw himself at Briggs, which sent them rustling around playfully like a bunch of school-aged boys.
I shook my head at them and glanced around at our group. They were all laughing. All filled with joy that we had won—we had all survived.
Why wasn’t I?
When I searched the group again the answer was clear. Someone was missing.
Maybe down deep I’d hoped it was only a bad dream. My stomach gripped as horror clenched my muscles with a need to bury myself underground and just die.
Haven’s laughter immediately ceased to a long deep shudder. “Hold me tighter, Finn.”
Poor Haven—she just wasn’t made to deal with the dark emotions filtering through my soul.
Zia reached out to me. Tears rimmed her eyes. “Nexi…”
Kyden’s gaze immediately snapped to mine.
The others, except Zia and Haven, all looked dreadfully confused. It took one word for them to understand perfectly. “Drake.”
Kyden lunged forward to wrap his arms around me protectively. “I had hoped this would not hit until we had left this godforsaken place.” He ran his fingers lightly down my cheek. “We need to finish this. You need to do this. Go end it. Then, I will take you home where you can mourn him properly.”
I nodded and gulped back tears. It came as a bit of a shock, but I had forgotten Lazarus was even here. Kyden was right about something else too, it was time to end this—time to put this all behind me.
Lazarus hadn’t moved an inch. My wind still encaged him. “I’m confused,” I said to Zia. “I thought you said if I relaxed it would release him?”
“No, I said you needed to relax first, then you could release him,” she corrected.
“What do I do then?”
“It is very straightforward. You had the power within you to freeze him. Therefore, you have the power within you to undo it. Trust yourself. You will know what to do.”
“This isn’t something I have to learn?”
“Apparently not.” She looked incredulous. “Since you’ve already done it.” Just as I closed my eyes, she grabbed my arm tightly. “Remember, he has the ability to vanish. Do not let him.”
“Right, thanks for the reminder. I don’t want to make that mistake again.”
Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath. What the hell was I suppose to do now? Where’s an instruction manual when you need one? Hoping this would work, I focused on what I wanted. Unfreeze him enough so he could move, but keep him bound to the building.
The warmth grew steadily within me until it busted wide open. Wind ripped around me as power engulfed me.
This time, it was easier to control. The sense that I wasn’t using half of my ability here was strong, which made me extremely grateful Zia had put some sort of control on me. I definitely didn’t trust myself.
When Lazarus’ deep intake of breath came loud I smiled, knowing it had worked. Ask me what I did and you get a big fat “I don’t know” as my reply. Not like it mattered—the why and how weren’t important.
My eyes fluttered open, Lazarus was scrambling back. “Take some pride would you,” I snapped. “For Christ’s sakes, you’re supposed to be the big bad villain here. You’re making the cowardly lion look mean.”
Kyden laughed briskly. “The cowardly lion?” He glanced to Briggs. “You know what that is?”
Briggs shrugged. “Haven’t a clue.”
“When this is over we’re watching some classic movies. Who doesn’t know who the cowardly lion is, geesh,” I told them as I stalked toward Lazarus.
He’d curled into a ball, terrified. If he could have pissed his pants, he probably would have. Kneeling next to him, I reached down to cup his face, forcing his gaze to mine. “There’s nothing special about you. You’re just a normal vampire who has done some seriously cruel things. Things you can never give back and things you can never be forgiven for.”
Releasing his face, I dragged him up so he was standing. I needed to look into his eyes when I destroyed him. “I thought when I had you here I would want you to suffer. To make you pay for everything you had done to me. For everyone you had taken from my life and all the pain you’ve caused me. But now, I just can’t find it in me to do it.”
Lazarus’ face lit up with surprise. “You are not going to kill me?”
“Oh no, I’m going to kill you.” The light in those dark depths faded instantly. “It’s just my reasons behind it have changed.”
There were too many emotions running through me at the moment to even care about Lazarus. He was nothing in my world. He was a thorn in my backside, one I needed to remove quickly. “I’m not doing this for me. I am doing this for Tyrianna, Drake, Gloria, and Frank, those lives you ended when they shouldn’t. My only hope is that wherever you go from here they will be there waiting for you.”
Drawing on my power, I set to end his life as it should’ve ended years before.
My strength grew as fire acknowledged its presence, growing warmer in my body. Pulling on it, the heat began to warm my palms as it guided me to use it. I dropped my sword, raised my hands and released the fire from my body.
The group behind me gasped.
It was an odd sensation. The heat didn’t burn me as the fire rushed from my palms. It actually felt mildly erotic. It began as blue flames, heightened by orange swirling lines. The moment it hit Lazarus, purple flames erupted. Then, it consumed him completely.
Until all that was left was dust. “It’s done.” I sighed in reprieve. “He’s dead.” When I turned around I met stunned expressions of disbelief. “What’s wrong?”
“You killed him?” Haven gasped.
“Er—wasn’t I supposed to do that?”
Zia shook her head, looking completely stunned. “You killed him without touching him.”
“Well y
eah, I figured Tyrianna would have done something like that so it seemed only right to end his life that way.” Kyden looked about as shocked as everyone. “For heaven’s sakes, why are you all looking at me like that? Did I do something wrong?”
Kyden reached out and pulled me to him. “No. Not something wrong. It is just…” He hesitated.
“Just what?”
Briggs laughed. Again voicing how much he enjoyed my impatience.
Zia said, “Using fire defensively is an unusual gift to obtain from the elements. Those who do have it train very hard to control it. You did not seem to have a problem using yours and you didn’t need to touch him to use it.” She examined me curiously. “Tell me, what were you thinking of when you did that?”
I shrugged and nuzzled into Kyden’s chest—quickly feeling very tired. Zia’s magic had begun to wear off. “I was thinking of Tyrianna.” I wavered slightly. Kyden scooped me off my feet, coddled me tightly in his strong arms. “I’m sure this is all very interesting, but I have been beaten, bruised, bit, and many other unpleasant things. I’m tired. Actually, scratch that. I’m completely and utterly spent. Can we please go home?”
Before any of them could respond, Kyden was already heading for the door. He grumbled something incoherent as he walked away. I raised my head from his chest to meet his very stern expression. “Now that this is over, you will answer my question.” He hesitated for a moment, and when I didn’t respond, he repeated the question. “Tell me one goddamned good reason you had for coming here alone?”
I smiled sweetly. “The answer to that is really quite simple.” I met his gaze intently. “I came because I love you.”
He froze. Pure warmth softened everything about him. Then, that handsome face that captured every part of my heart faded away to utter darkness.
Chapter Eighteen
I awoke to a bright, sunny day. I pushed myself up, staring at my willow. Only I wasn’t at my willow exactly. “Huh?” I stood quickly, turned in quick circles as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. This was my willow. That I was sure of. However, I wasn’t in Carson City. I was in the Witches Meadow.
“I brought it home,” Zia’s voice broke through my moment of hysteria.
I jerked my head toward her. She had been sitting beside me. “Huh?”
“Your willow. I brought it home for you.”
“You brought it home?” I repeated. “Does that mean it didn’t belong in Carson City?”
“That’s right. It belonged here. This was your mother’s favorite tree. When you were sent away I wanted to send a piece of her with you.”
“My connection to this tree is my mother?”
She nodded softly.
A tear ran down my cheek.
“Was I right to have brought it home?” she asked, quietly.
I wiped the tear away. “Yes. I have come home. It’s only right that it comes home too.” Reaching out I ran my hands along the leaves. My mother had loved this tree just as much as I did—that was where our connection laid. Knowing that sent little flutters of warmth trickling deep into my soul.
Once that thought settled my mind swirled. Confusion hit every part of me, unable to grasp anything.
“Your senses will come back to you,” Zia said as if I asked her a question. “We will sit here until your thoughts are more centered.”
I eyed her curiously. “Can you read my mind?” It was about time she answered this question.
“You have a very vivid mind.” Then, she hesitated, seeming to choose her words carefully. “You tend to send me messages telepathically.”
“Are you serious?” I chortled.
She laughed a little, nodded.
The shock of that must have pulled my mind back from wherever it had gone. My memory rebounded, sending my world to collapse around me. My legs buckled beneath me. Falling to the ground, I gave in—allowed myself this moment to simply feel.
The floodgates opened and sobs came from me that shrieked of pain and loss. Hard and deep. My breath barely caught as the cries that escape my mouth screamed of how unfair life was. Letting go of all my strength, I wallowed for all that had been taken from me, everything I’d been through these last few months.
Zia wrapped her body around mine and cradled my heart with her warmth. Her magic never touched me. She gave me this moment of healing. Her hold never loosened and she continually whispered soft words to me, but I couldn’t understand them. My agony just didn’t care to hear it.
They were gone—my entire family gone. Never would I see them again. Never hear their laughter, see their smiles, or feel their arms wrap around me in love.
Their faces ran through my mind. The need to be touched by them quivered against my skin, leaving me empty enough to just wither away from existence. I was alone.
Zia’s arms shook me, snapped me away from my personal horror. “You are not alone. You will never be alone. We all love you. Haven was right. Your place is here with us now.”
I lifted away from her, wiped the wetness beneath my nose. “It’s just…”
She finished for me. “Not the same without them.”
My eyes welled up further. My lips pinched together as I tried to hold in the screams that fought through my body.
“Do not hold it in.” She shook me again. “Let it out. You are allowed to shout with anger for what has been done to you.”
And I did just that. Shrieked high and piercing. “Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did Lazarus have to exist? Why did they all have to leave me?”
She took my hands, squeezed them tight. “Fate is never understood—it just is. They are gone because it was their time to go. That is just what we are left with. The loss of them is great.” She sighed deeply. “And always will be.”
“I…” I hesitated and searched for the right words. “How do I go on without them?”
“I know your life feels lost to you now, but you have a brilliant path ahead of you. The choice is up to you with how you choose to live it. Do you understand?”
I nodded and rested my head against her arm. I did understand. They wouldn’t want me to live in a state of grief, but right now, all that filled me was the gut-wrenching pain of their departure. She held me with a need to alleviate my pain and my tears eventually did fade away. I stayed in her arms because it felt good. Feeling safe and loved was something I wasn’t about to let go of.
But as the grief settled her words became crystal-clear. I wasn’t alone. There were others who were special to me—others who meant just as much. Zia, of course, was one of them, but there were also two other people who meant more to me than my own life. “Kyden,” I gasped and leaned back. “Where is he?”
“He was here with you for a while, but I finally forced him to leave. He needed rest.”
“Good. Is Haven resting too?”
“She is. I helped her sleep.”
Meaning she used her magic to knock her out. Relief washed through me. Everyone was safe tucked away in their beds. Relieved a little bit that they weren’t here to witness my breakdown. Haven probably couldn’t have handled it. As for Kyden—just leave it that the ugly cry is far from attractive.
With a deep breath I released my hold on Zia. “How did you find us?”
“Your magic called to me,” she answered, keeping a tight grip on my hands. “I knew you had lost control. It was easy to pinpoint your location since your magic was so strong.”
Can’t say I wasn’t glad for that. Who knew what would have taken place if Zia hadn’t been there to drain the magic. “Why was it so painful?”
“Like I said before, I didn’t know what was going to trigger your magic. Obviously your strong reaction to Lazarus triggered it, and because you were so angry, you couldn’t control it. As you know, magic is powerful and if unmanaged, it does hurt tremendously. The elements have blessed you well. With your ability to use Fire and Air defensively we are very lucky you didn’t cause more dama
ge.”
Lucky is right. I’m just happy I didn’t kill Kyden in the process. “So what happens now? Will I start my training with the witches?”
She nodded. “It is imperative that you begin training soon. Especially, knowing the level of magic you hold. You’re kind of like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. But for now, I think it is best if you take some time off to grieve.”
“Why?”
“Our magic is White Magic, which in simple terms means love magic. Right now, you’re filled with despair, sweetie. It will only lead to disaster.”
“Does that mean I can’t be a Guardian anymore?” Fear went straight through me. My Guardian role had never felt so much a part of who I was.
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